Georgette Heyer - Powder and Patch

“If Mistress Cleone gives me her love it will be for me as I am. She is worthy a man, not a powdered, ruffled beau.”

“A man! Sacré tonnerre

, ’tis what you are, hein? Philip, child, get you to Town to your uncle and buy a wig.” “No, sir, I thank you. I shaft do very well without a wig.”

Sir Maurice drove his cane downwards at the floor in exasperation. “Mille diables! You’ll to Town as I say, defiant boy! You may finish the business with that scoundrel Jenkins while you are about it!”

Philip nodded.

“That I will do, sir, since you wish it.”

“Bah!” retorted his father.

He had gone; now he had come back, the business details settled to his satisfaction, but with no wig. Sir Maurice was pleased to see him again, more pleased than he appeared, as Philip was well aware. He listened to what his son had to tell him of Tom Jettan, failed to glean any of the latest society gossip, and dismissed Philip from his presence. Half an hour later Philip rode in at the gates of Sharley House, sitting straight in his saddle, a pulse in his throat throbbing in anticipation.

Cleone saw him coming. She was seated in the parlour window, embroidering in a languid fashion. Truth to tell, she was tired of her own company and not at all averse from seeing Philip. As he passed the window she bent forward a little, smiling down at him. Philip saw her at once; indeed, he had been eyeing every window of the warm, red house in the hope that she might be sitting in one. He reined in his horse and bowed to her, hat in hand. Cleone opened the casement wider, leaning over the sill, her golden curls falling forward under the strings of her cap.

“Why, sir, are you back already?” she asked, dimpling. “Already!” he echoed. “It has been years! Ten years, Cleone!” “Pooh!” she said. “Ten days-not a moment more!” “Is that all it has seemed to you?” he said. Cleone’s cheek became faintly tinged with pink. “What more?” she retorted. “’Tis all it is!” Into Philip’s eyes came a gleam of triumph. “Aha! You’ve counted, then! Oh, Cleone!” The roguish look fled.

“Oh” cried Cleone, pouting. “How-how-monstrous-” “Monstrous what, dear Cleone?”

“Impudent!” she ended. “I declare I won’t see you!” As if to add weight to this statement, she shut the casement and moved away into the room.

Presently, however, she relented, and tripped downstairs to the withdrawing-room, where she found Mr Jettan paying his respects to her mamma. She curtseyed very demurely, allowed him to kiss the tips of her fingers, and seated herself beside Madame Charteris. Madam patted her hand.

“Well, child, here is Philip returned from Town with not a word to tell us of his gaiety!” Cleone raised her eyes to survey Philip.

“Mamma, there is naught to tell. Philip is such a staid, sober person.” “Tut-tut!” said her mother. “Now, Philip, tell us all! Did you not meet one beauty to whom you lost your heart?”

“No, madam,” answered Philip. “The painted society dames attract me not at all.” His eyes rested on Cleone as he spoke.

“I dare say you’ve not yet heard the news?” Cleone said, after a slight pause. “Or did Sir Maurice tell you?”

“No-that is, I do not know. What is it? Good news?”

“It remains to be seen,” she replied. “’Tis that Mr Bancroft is to return! What think you of that?”

Philip stiffened.

“Bancroft? Sir Harold’s son?”

“Yes, Henry Bancroft. Is it not exciting? Only think-he has been away nigh on eight years! Why, he must be”-she began to count on her rosy-tipped fingers-“twenty-six, or twenty-seven. Oh, a man! I do so wonder what he is like now!” “H’m!” remarked Philip. His voice held no enthusiasm. “What does he want here?” Cleone’s long lashes fluttered down to hide the laugh in her eyes. “To see papa, of course. After so many years!”

Philip gave vent to a sound very like a snort.

“I’ll wager there’s a more potent reason! Else had he come home ere now.” “Well, I will tell you. Papa rode over to Great Fittledean two days ago, and he found Sir Harold mightily amused, did he not, Mamma?”

Madame Charteris assented vaguely. She was stitching at a length of satin, content to drop out of the conversation.

“Yes. It seems that Henry-”

“Who?” Philip straightened in his chair.

“Mr Bancroft,” said Cleone. A smile trembled on her lips. “It seems that Mr Bancroft has had occasion to fight a duel. Is it not too dreadful?”

Philip agreed with more heartiness than he had yet shown.

“I am sure I do not know why gentlemen must fight. ’Tis very terrible, I think. But, of course, ’tis monstrous gallant and exciting. And poor Mr Bancroft has been advised to leave London for a while, because some great personage is angered. Papa did not say who was the gentleman he fought, but Sir Harold was vastly amused.” She glanced up at Philip, in time to catch sight of the scornful frown on his face. “Oh, Philip, do you know? Have you perhaps heard?”

“No one who has been in Town this last week could fail to have heard,” said Philip shortly. Then, very abruptly, he changed the subject.

When Philip came back to the Pride it was close on the dinner hour. He walked slowly upstairs to change his clothes, for on that point Sir Maurice was obdurate. He would not allow buckskins or riding-boots at his table. He himself was fastidious to a fault. Every evening he donned stiff satins arid velvets; his thin face was painted, powdered and patched; his wig tied with great precision in the nape of his neck. He walked now with a stick, but his carriage was still fairly upright. The stick was, as Philip told him, a mere affectation.

Philip was rather silent during the first part of the meal, but when the lackeys left the room, and Sir Maurice pushed the port towards him, he spoke suddenly, as if the words had hovered on his tongue for some time.

“Father, do you hear that Bancroft is to return?”

Sir Maurice selected a nut from the dish before him, cracking it between his long, white fingers.

“I believe someone told me. What of it?” “You said nothing of it to me.”

The grey eyes lifted.

“Is he a friend of yours? I did not know.”

“A friend!” Philip set his glass down with a snap. “Hardly, sir!” “Now what’s to do?” asked his father. “Why the scorn?” “Sir, if you could but hear the gossip about him!”

“I have no doubt I should be vastly entertained,” said Sir Maurice. “What’s the tale?” “The fellow is for ever embroiling himself in some low quarrel. This time it is Lady Marchand. Faugh!”

“Lady Marchand? Not Dolly Marchand?” “I believe so. Why, sir, do you know her?”

“I-er-knew her mother. Tell me, is she as charming?” “As I know neither her mother, nor Lady Marchand-” Sir Maurice sighed.

“No. Of course not. Go on.”

“It’s a damned sordid tale, sir, and I’ll spare you the details. Lord Marchand and Bancroft fought out at Ipswich.; Bancroft wounded him in the lung, and ’tis said he’ll not recover.” “Clumsy,” remarked Sir Maurice. “So Bancroft retires?”

“The Prince of Wales is furious, as well he might be. And Bancroft brings himself and his morals here.”

A faint smile hovered on Sir Maurice’s lips.

“And Mr. Jettan is righteously indignant. From which I gather that Mistress Cleone is prepared to welcome this slayer of hearts. You’d best have bought a wig, Philip.” In spite of himself, Philip laughed.

“Sir, you are incorrigible!”

“Faute de mieux. And whence, if I may ask, did you glean all this-sordid information, oh my righteous son?”

“From Tom, of course. He could talk of nothing else.”

“Alack! The saint is still upon his pedestal. In fact, the story was forced upon you. Philip, you enrage me.” He looked up and met his son’s amused glance. “Yes, child, I am enraged. Pass the wine.”

Philip pushed the decanter towards him. His rather stern eyes were twinkling. “I’ll swear no one ever before possessed so outrageous a sire,” he said. “I’ve heard of some who disinherited their sons for disreputable behaviour, but it seems you are like to disinherit me for irreproachable conduct.”

“It’s a piquante situation,” agreed Sir Maurice. “But I shan’t disinherit you.” “No?”

“Where’s the use? With no money you could not hope to-ah-follow in my footsteps. I’ve a mind to turn you out of the house, though.”

“Half a mind,” corrected Philip. “The other half, sir, rejoices in my unblemished reputation.” “Does it?” Sir Maurice was mildly interested. “Faith, I did not know that.” “Sir, were I to break away and become as flighty as you wish, no one would be more aghast than yourself.”

“You infer, my son, that I desire you to follow not in my footsteps, but in-let us say, Bancroft’s. Nothing could more thoroughly disgust me.”

“Ah!” Philip leant forward eagerly. “You admit that?” Sir Maurice sipped his wine.

“Certainly. I abhor clumsiness in an affaire.” He watched Philip draw back. “An affaire of the heart should be daintily conducted. A Jettan should bear in mind that for him there can be only one love; the others,” he waved his hand, “should be treated with the delicacy that they deserve. Above all, they should end lightly. I would have no woman the worse for you, child, but I would have you know women and the world. I would have you experience the pleasures and the displeasures of Polite Society; I would have you taste the joys of Hazard, and the exhilaration of your sword against another’s; I would have you take pains in the selection of a cravat, or the designing of a vest; I would have you learn the way to turn a neat compliment and a pretty phrase; above all, I would have you know yourself, your fellow men, and the world.” He paused, studying his son. Then he smiled. “Well? What have you to say to my peroration?”

Philip answered simply, and in admiration,

“Why, sir, that I am spellbound by your fluency. In truth, Father, you have a remarkably beautiful voice.”

“Bah!” snapped Sir Maurice.

On a particularly sunny morning, some five or six days after Mr Jettan’s return from London town, the main street of Little Fittledean was made brighter still by the passage of an Apparition.

The Apparition wore a coat of palest apricot cloth, with a flowered vest of fine brocade, and startling white small-clothes. Red-heeled shoes were on his feet, and his stockings were adorned by sprawling golden clocks. He carried an amber-clouded cane and a jewelled snuff-box, while ever and anon he raised a cobwebby handkerchief to his aristocratic nose. He minced down the street towards the market place, followed by the awestricken glances of an amazed population. The inhabitants of the village had never seen anything so wonderful or so remarkable as this gorgeous gentleman. They watched the high red heels

click along the road, and admired the beautiful set of the Apparition’s coat. A group of children stopped playing to stare, open-mouthed. The Apparition heeded them not. It may have been that he was oblivious of their existence. Not even when a piping treble, requested “John” to “look’ee now at them shoes!” did he show that he realised the presence of anyone but himself in the village. He minced on, very languid, and suitably bored. Further down the street a gentleman had reined in his horse to speak to a curtseying dame, who plucked shyly at her apron, smiling up at him. Presently he, too, became aware of the sound of clicking heels. Even as the buxom dame gazed past him with wide eyes, he looked up and saw the Apparition.

I would not have you think that the Apparition noticed him. On he went, swinging his cane and yawning.

Sir Maurice turned in his saddle the better to see those pearly small-clothes. His horse cocked both ears inquiringly and blew down his nostrils.

“Well, I’m damned!” said Sir Maurice beneath his breath. “Puppy!”

Mr Bancroft proceeded leisurely towards the market place. He was very, very bored, and he had walked over from Great Fittledean in search of possible amusement. He almost despaired of finding it, but Fate favoured him.

Crossing the market place, a basket on her arm and a very becoming hat tied over her curls, was Mistress Cleone. She was tripping along quite unconcernedly, her cheeks just tinged with colour, and her big eyes bluer than ever. Mr Bancroft lost a little of his languor. It might almost be said that his eye brightened.

Cleone was coming towards him, and it was markedly evident that Mr Bancroft made no attempt to step aside. On the contrary, he appeared to be engrossed in the contemplation of a cat right away on his left. Cleone was peeping inside her basket; she did not perceive Mr Bancroft until she had walked into him. Then she gave a startled cry, fell back, and stared. Mr Bancroft was profuse in his apologies. He swept off his hat and made her a low bow, sinking back and back on his bent left leg.