Teresa Mummert - Pretty Little Things

I stepped on the gas, trying hard not to think of Annie being comforted by Jacob. There was no denying that he was the lesser of two evils, but the very thought killed me. I had finally gotten to taste what I could never have. I’d gotten to see what my life could have been had I been the hero in her story.

I would gladly relive every whipping I had received. The pain was a comforting balance, but this ache, this dull, crippling death of losing her was too much.

I awoke with a gasp, sitting straight up in bed. I glanced around the dark room, pulling Colin’s blue comforter to my face and inhaling the lingering smell of his cologne. I thought about taking one of his sleeping pills, if only to be able to spend some time with him in my dreams. But I was too afraid he would return and I would miss him.

His world was chaos, and his once pristine room now reflected the inner turmoil he had suffered all these years. I grabbed my cell phone from his night table and sent Connor another text to add to the dozen I had already sent. Connor was on his way back, putting aside business to come to my side, but I knew that if Colin didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t be.

I got out of bed, needing to keep myself busy until exhaustion took over. I got out of the comfort of his bed and turned on the light, taking in the damage. I began picking up the pieces, slowly restoring order to his life.

I wished I had followed him, forced him to take me wherever he went. I would have happily left this all behind, but instead, I was the one left behind.

Three hours later I had put his space back together; the only thing missing was him, along with my heart, which he’d carried since the day I stepped into his cabin. I sat on his floor clutching one of his worn T-shirts in my hands as I slowly drifted off.

“Wake up, Annie.”

My eyes fluttered open, and I blinked back my exhaustion. “What are you doing?” I asked as Colin gripped my hand. The column of his throat jumped as he swallowed hard.

“I need you to do something for me.” His voice was thick with unspoken sadness.

“What is it?” I was completely alert now, worried that something had happened and Colin was tasked with telling me the awful news. “Did I do something wrong? Am I in trouble?”

“No.” His grip tightened as his eyes searched mine, and he sighed. “Do you still have the bag with your mother’s things?” he asked.

“Yes. Under my bed.”

He nodded once as his fingers slid from mine, and he dipped his head, reaching under the bed and pulling out my small, dirty book bag. He unzipped it, the sound loud in the quiet of the night. He dug around inside, pulling out the few possessions I had left. He held up a pill bottle, turning it around in his hand, and his eyes narrowed as he struggled to read the label in the dim moonlight.

“This will do.” His eyes met mine. “Do you trust me?”

I was confused and scared.

“We don’t have much time, Annie. Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

The corner of his mouth turned up with a small measure of satisfaction, but it quickly vanished. “Taylor is coming.”

“What? Why?” Was he going to kick me out in the middle of the night? Where would I go? I wanted to leave more than anything, but the thought of being put out in the middle of the night, alone, was too much. I was still scared of monsters that lurked under my bed, oblivious to those that looked me in the eye.

“Annie.” He shook his head as he pressed against the side of the mattress. “Taylor is playing God. He thinks you and I are meant to be together.”

My cheeks heated, and I looked down at my rumpled white sheets. Colin was handsome and strong with a defiant streak that rivaled mine.

”Please just trust me.” He held out two pills in the palm of his hand. I took them from him, my eyebrows pulled together questioningly.

“I don’t want you to remember me this way.” He shook his head, his dark hair falling into his eyes.

I swallowed hard and nodded my head, not understanding what was going on, but knowing that Colin would never betray me. I dropped the pills into my mouth and swallowed hard.

He stood up, towering over me as he pulled his plain white T-shirt over his head and let it fall to the ground next to his feet. “Take off your shirt.”

“What? No. You’re out of your mind!” My voice rose as I clutched my sheet to my chest, shaking my head.

“Annie, I promised, and I meant it. Trust me.” He enunciated each word as his hard gaze bore down at me, but I wasn’t sure he trusted himself.

I watched his hands fall to the button of his khaki pants as I gripped the edge of my “Descendants of God Commune” shirt and pulled it over my head, careful to keep the sheet from falling and revealing my chest. My breathing was coming in heavy pants out of fear and embarrassment.

Colin shoved down his pants and kicked them to the floor. “What else are you wearing?” His words were barely audible, but the weight of his guilt was evident.

“My…my underwear.”

He nodded as he glanced at the closed door behind him. “Keep them on. Close your eyes.”

“What? Why?”

“Annie, I’d like for you not to see what a naked guy looks like yet. You’re too young.”

My eyes snapped closed. I couldn’t argue with him there.

“Keep them closed.” He lifted the edge of the sheet, and the cold air hit my side, causing me to shiver. The bed dipped under his weight, and I held my breath. His large, warm palm splayed across my belly and I froze, but my head felt foggy, and the warmth of his touch spread to the tips of my fingers down to the ends of my toes.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, his voice pained. “It’s the only way it will look believable.”

My heart sank at his explanation. He pressed his hot lips against mine, and I felt like my body melted into a puddle beneath him. He pulled back, and my eyes slowly opened to see him smirking above me.

“I told you to keep your eyes closed.” He touched the tip of my nose with his finger.

As he said the words, my eyes blinked heavily and fell closed. I struggled not to smile, the pills making it hard to conceal my growing infatuation with Colin.

“Do you understand what it is he wants us to do?” Colin’s voice was deep, pained by guilt.

“I know what sex is, Colin. I’m not a child.” I laughed, but he didn’t make a sound.

“We are not going to do that. But he needs to think we are. He needs to think we’re together. Do you understand?” His fingers slid against my skin subconsciously.

“Yes.” My voice was breathy, and I didn’t even recognize it.

Slowly he climbed over me, nudging my knees apart and settling in between them, holding his weight above me on his elbows so our bodies didn’t touch.

“I’m going to kiss you again.”

I nodded, my body weightless as the pills swam inside my veins. His lips were against mine again, moving but no words being spoken. I mimicked his movements, pushing my mouth back against his, my chest rising and falling rapidly, my bare breasts brushing against the hot skin of his chest.

He panted, his tongue running over the seam of my lips, and I let my mouth fall open as his body sagged lower, nearly against mine. He groaned, and I could feel his body tense as he struggled to go slow.

I heard the latch of the door spring open, and I tried to turn to see who had entered, but Colin grabbed my chin with his arm farthest from the door, his body coming down on mine as he only held himself on one elbow.

I whimpered into his mouth as I felt his hard length against me. Knowing that we were being watched made my stomach turn.

Colin felt my hesitation, and he mumbled against my mouth, “It’s just us. Just us. Only us, little one.”

I pressed my mouth back against his, my hands on his chest. I slid them up over his collarbone and held on to his muscular shoulders as his hips slowly pressed harder against mine, but he held back as if he didn’t trust himself.

I nodded against his mouth, and he repeated the action. I knew he would have to move more than he was to make it look like we were actually having sex, but he was more concerned with my comfort.

I rocked my hips back against his, and he inhaled a sharp breath before his kisses grew harder. My fingers slid to the back of his neck into his short dark hair, and he groaned, rocking against me again. The sound of the door clicking again as our unwanted guest left barely registered as I rolled my hips again, warmth spreading throughout me, stemming from where we touched. He pulled his mouth from mine, and my eyes slowly opened, searching his, hooded from lust and drugs. His fingers dug hard into the flesh over my shoulder, and his jaw was clenched.

“Please don’t move, Annie. I’m not going to be able to stop myself.” Slowly he pulled his body from mine, shaking his head. He sat on the edge of the bed, his fingers fisted in his hair. I sat up, the sheet pulled over my chest, and I slowly reached out to touch his shoulder. He jerked away from my touch, his eyes wild with anger. “Don’t…please don’t…”

I dipped my spoon in my mac and cheese as my dad buttoned up his black work shirt. He grabbed his gun from the counter and slid it into the holster on his hip before pulling his cap on his head, his eyes on me questioningly.

“You think I could stay home? I could clean up this shithole.” I was willing to say anything to get out of having to go to class, but we both knew I wouldn’t follow through.

“You have school today, Jake.”

“It’s one day, and it’s not like I’m going to miss anything. These fucking idiots know less than I do about history. It’s a fucking travesty is what it is. You should call our congressman, or at the very least write a strongly worded letter. Who’s that news anchor with the nice tits?” I ran my fingers through my chestnut hair in an attempt to tame it. I was overdue for a haircut, but I hadn’t had any complaints from the girls at school.

My dad sighed and shook his head. “If your mother was alive…”

“Forget it.” I cut him off as I pushed back my chair to stand. “I’ll go to school and become another mindless fucking drone.” I grabbed my bowl and tossed it into the sink, causing it to clatter loudly against the mountain of unwashed dishes, another sign of my mother’s absence. As I retreated back to the hallway, I heard the front door creak open and then close, and I knew I was finally alone.

My mother had died nearly a year ago, but I still didn’t believe she was really gone. Things between my father and me were strained at best. I used to look up to him, couldn’t wait to be him. Now I couldn’t wait to get away from him. He didn’t care like I did. My mother deserved better.

I pulled on my sneakers and glanced out the bedroom window. I stood frozen, lost in thought and still half-baked from my morning high as I watched the large yellow school bus pull up at the curb down the dirt road that led to our house. My gaze flicked to movement in the wheat field as the bus pulled off without me on it. I narrowed my eyes at what at first glance looked like an animal, and then I realized it was a person. I turned and hurried from the room and down the stairs, nearly falling a few steps from the bottom. The screen door slammed loudly behind me as I took off across the field toward Annie. Her long blond hair swirled around her as a breeze picked up.

“Hey,” I called out as I got closer. She was walking through the honey-colored wheat, and her face snapped up to meet my gaze, but she didn’t say anything. I slowed to a walk, eyeing her cautiously as I approached. She looked out of it like she was in some sort of drug-induced trance. “Annie?” I called again, and she stopped walking but didn’t turn to face me. Her hair looked unbrushed and wasn’t meticulously curled like it usually was. “What’s wrong?” I asked as I tucked her hair behind her ear to reveal dark circles under eyes that were hooded from exhaustion.