Bruce and Patsy Mounsey,

who are nothing like any of the grandparents in this book.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Many thanks to Barb Cabot, Debra Martin Chase, Bill Contardi, Sarah Davies, Laura Langlie, Abby McAden, Alison Donalty, and the usual suspects: Beth Ader, Jennifer Brown, Dave Walton, and especially, Benjamin Egnatz.

When things are horrible—just horrible—

I think as hard as ever I can of being a princess.

I say to myself,

“I am a princess.”

You don’t know how it makes you forget.

 

A LITTLE PRINCESS

Frances Hodgson Burnett

 

Contents

 

 

 

Acknowledgments

Epigraph

Monday, October 20, 8 a.m. Okay

So I was just in the kitchen, eating cereal, you know, the usual Monday morning routine...

Monday, October 20, Homeroom

I am really trying to take this calmly, you know? Because there isn’t any point in getting upset...

Monday, October 20, Still Homeroom

And whatabout that? Why weren’t she and Mr. Gianini using birth control?

Monday, October 20, Algebra

I can’t believe this. I really can’t believe this.

She hasn’t told him.

Monday, October 20, English

Great. Just great.

As if things aren’t bad enough...

Monday, October 20, Lunch

Okay, Lilly knows.

All right, maybe she doesn’tKNOW.. .

Monday, October 20, G & T

And what about that, anyway? How many dates has my mom even been on with Mr. G, anyway?

Still Monday, October 20, Still G & T

Lilly caught me looking up stuff about pregnancy on the Internet.

Monday, October 20, After school

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse,

suddenly, they did.

Later on Monday

Just got off the phone with Grandmère. She wanted to know why I hadn’t returned her call.

Monday, October 20, 11 p.m.

Some surprise that was.

Somebody really needs to tell Grandmère...

Still later on Monday

My mom came in. I thought Mr. G had left, so I went, “How’d it go?”

Tuesday, October 21, 1 a.m.

Hey, I thought my mom was a feminist who didn’t believe in the male hierarchy...

Tuesday, October 21, 2 a.m.

Oh, my God. I just realized that if my mom marries Mr. Gianini, it means he’ll be living here.

Tuesday, October 21, 9 a.m.

When I woke up this morning, my throat hurt so much, I couldn’t even talk. I could only croak.

Later on Tuesday

My mom stayed home from the studio today.

I croaked to her that she shouldn’t.

Even later on Tuesday

Lilly just stopped by. She brought me all of my homework. She says I look wretched...

Wednesday, October 22

This morning my mom called my dad where he’s staying at the Plaza, and made him bring the limo over...

Thursday, October 23

Oh, my God. Something so exciting just happened, I can hardly write.

Later on Thursday

This afternoon while I was lying around with icepacks under the covers, trying to bring my fever down...

Even later on Thursday

After dinner I felt well enough to get out of bed, and so I did.

Friday, October 24, Algebra

I AM BETTER!!!!!

Well, actually, I don’t feel all that great, but I don’t care.

Friday, October 24, World Civ

LIST FIVE BASIC TYPES OF GOVERNMENT

anarchy

Friday, October 24, G & T

It turns out that since I’ve been gone, Boris has started learning some new music on his violin.

Later on Friday

Talk about embarrassing! Principal Gupta somehow found out about my giving Michael some...

Even later on Friday

What am I supposed to do about this stupid English journal assignment,Describe an experience...

Saturday, October 25, 2 p.m., Grandmère’s suite

I am sitting here waiting for my interview. In addition to my throat hurting, I feel like I am going to...

Saturday, October 25, 7 p.m., on the way to Lilly’s house

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, OH GOD.

Sunday, October 26, 2 a.m., Lilly’s bedroom

Okay, I just have one question: Why does it always have to go from bad to worse...

Sunday, October 26, 7 p.m.

I was really afraid that when I got home my mom was going to be disappointed in me.

Sunday, October 26, 8 p.m.

You will not believe what got delivered to our house while I was gone. I was sure it was a mistake...

Sunday, October 26, 9 p.m.

Another e-mail from Jo-C-rox!

This one went...

Monday, October 27, G & T

Unfortunately, it appears that Lilly is not the only one who noticed the ads for tonight’s broadcast.

Monday, October 27, Bio

Mrs. Sing, our Biology teacher, says it is physiologically impossible to die of either boredom or...

Monday, October 27, After school

I never thought I would say this, but I am worried about Grandmère.

Monday, October 27, Later

I figured as soon as I got home, I would tell my mom that she and Mr. G need to elope, and right away.

Tuesday, October 28, Principal Gupta’s office

Oh, God! No sooner had I set foot in Homeroom today than I was summoned to the principal’s office!

Tuesday, October 28, Algebra

Principal Gupta is way concerned about my mental health.

Tuesday, October 28, G & T

Well, Mrs. Hill didn’t get fired.

Instead, I guess they gave her a warning...

Tuesday, October 28, Bio

I am winning friends and influencing people everywhere I go today. Kenny just asked me...

Tuesday, October 28, 6 p.m., On the way back to the loft from Grandmère’s

What with all the backlash about my interview onTwentyFour/Seven, I completely forgot...

Tuesday, October 28, 10 p.m., The loft

Well, it happened. The impending disaster is now officially areal disaster.

Tuesday, October 28, 11 p.m.

Another e-mail from Jo-C-rox!

This one said...

Wednesday, October 29, English

Well, one thing is for sure:

Having a guy like my cousin Hank follow you around

Wednesday, October 29, G & T

I don’t believe this. I really don’t.

Lilly and Hank are missing.

Wednesday, October 29, World Civ

Still no sign of them.

Wednesday, October 29, Bio

Still nothing.

Wednesday, October 29, Algebra Review

Lars says he thinks it would be precipitous at this point to call the police.

Wednesday, October 29, 7 p.m.

It’s all right. They’re safe.

Apparently, Hank got back to the hotel around five...

Wednesday, October 29, 10 p.m.

Okay, so I was just casually flipping through the channels, you know, taking a little study break...

Thursday, October 30, English

Hank didn’t come to school with me today. He called first thing this morning and said he wasn’t feeling...

Thursday, October 30, World Civ

THINGS TO DO BEFORE MR. G. MOVES IN

1. Vacuum

Thursday, October 30, G & T

I don’t believe this.

They’ve done it again.

Thursday, October 30, 7 p.m., Limo back to the loft

Another huge shock. If my life continues along this roller-coaster course, I may have to seek...

More Thursday, October 30, 9 p.m.

Well, Mr. Gianini is all moved in. I have already played nine games of foozball.

Friday, October 31, Homeroom

I woke with the strangest feeling of foreboding. I couldn’t figure out why for a few minutes.

Friday, October 31, Algebra

Mr. Gianini is not here today. Instead, we have a substitute teacher named Mrs. Krakowski.

Friday, October 31, G & T

Okay.

I will never underestimate Lilly Moscovitz again.

Friday, October 31, French

I borrowed Lars’s cell phone and called the SoHo Grand between lunch and fifth period.

Friday, October 31, 9 p.m.

I am in shock. I really am.

Not because my mom and my Algebra teacher...

Saturday, November 1, 2 p.m.

The evening wasn’t a total bust.

Quite a few people seemed to have a very good time.

About the Author

Other Books by Megan Cabot

Credits

About the Publisher

Copyright

 

Monday, October 20,8 a.m.

 

     Okay. So I was just in the kitchen, eating cereal, you know, the usual Monday morning routine, when my mom comes out of the bathroom with this funny look on her face. I mean, she was all pale and her hair was kind of sticking out and she had on her terry cloth robe instead of her kimono, which usually means she’s premenstrual.

     So I said, “Mom, you want some Midol? Because, no offense, you look like you could use some.”

     Which is sort of a dangerous thing to say to a premenstrual woman, but you know, she’s my mom, and all. It’s not like she was going to karate chop me, the way she would if anybody else said that to her.

     But she just said, “No. No, thanks,” in this dazed voice.

     So then I assumed something really horrible had happened. You know, like Fat Louie had eaten another sock, or they were cutting off our electricity again because I’d forgotten to fish the bill out of the salad bowl where Mom keeps stuffing them.

     So I grabbed her and I was like, “Mom? Mom, what is it? What’s wrong?”

     She sort of shook her head, like she does when she’s confused over the microwave instructions on a frozen pizza. “Mia,” she said, in this shocked but happy way, “Mia. I’m pregnant.”

     Oh, my God. OH, MY GOD.

     My mom is having my Algebra teacher’s baby.

 

Monday, October 20, Homeroom

 

     I am really trying to take this calmly, you know? Because there isn’t any point in getting upset about it.

     But how can INOT be upset? My mother is about to become a single parent.AGAIN.

     You would think she’d have learned a lesson with me and all, but apparently not.

     As if I don’t have enough problems. As if my life isn’t over already. I just don’t see how much more I can be expected to take. I mean, apparently, it is not enough that

 

1. I am the tallest girl in the freshman class.

2. I am also the least endowed in the chest area.

3. Last month, I found out my mother has been dating my Algebra teacher.

4. Also last month, I found out that I am the sole heir to the throne of a small European country.

5. I have to take princess lessons from my paternal grandmother.Every day.

6. In December, I am supposed to be introduced to my new countrymen and women on national television (in Genovia, population 50,000, but still).