It has amused me to hear some say that I was, in fact, a man. Yes, that makes me laugh. I have been a good queen, a wise queen; I have brought my country into a far happier and more prosperous state than it was in at my accession. I have tried to be tolerant. I have failed in this on one or two occasions, but that was only because I feared it would be dangerous to be lenient. Therefore men say: “No woman could attain so much, so she must have been a man! Only a man could be so great and wise.” So in spite of what I believe to be my excessive femininity they say: “She was secretly a man.”
They hint that there was something strange about me, that I was malformed, that I could not have children and that was why I remained a virgin.
They are wrong, all of them… except Mary of Scotland's Ambassador Melville all those years ago. I shall never forget his words.
“I know your stately stomach. Ye think gin ye were married ye would be but Queen of England and now ye are King and Queen baith…ye may not suffer a commander.”
He had the truth there. And I kept my determination to remain the commander of them all… and not even Robert could tempt me to share my crown with anyone.
My crown and my virginity…I was determined to keep them both, and I did.
I can feel the end coming nearer. I was born on the eve of the day which is celebrated as the nativity of the Virgin Mary. I wonder if I shall die on the festival of the annunciation. It would be appropriate for the Virgin Queen.
Now I lay down my pen, for the end is coming very near.
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