Kristen Ashley - Raid

My amusement fled. I held her eyes and nodded.

“Proud of you,” she said and she sounded it.

My heart warmed, but the smile I gave her was shaky. “Thanks, Grams.”

“I’m proud, but that don’t mean I’m not worried. Fire’s gonna get hot, chère. You made your choice. You do what you gotta do to take the heat.”

I nodded.

“Hope I live to see it,” she continued and my heart lurched.

“Grams—”

“Want one thing before I die: to know you’ll go on after me and do it safe and happy. That boy’s got the capacity to give you both, he doesn’t destroy you in the process. I hope I live to see him battle that blaze so he gives my girl safe and happy.”

“You’re going to make me cry,” I warned.

“Boudreaux do not cry, chère. You know that. Place to cry, on the back porch in the sun is not it.”

I pulled in a deep breath through my nose and again nodded.

“There’ll be good times, Hanna. Fill yourself up with them, hold onto them tight, ‘cause when the bad times come, you’ll need them,” she advised.

“Now you’re scaring the pants off me,” I told her.

“Boudreaux don’t show fear. There’s a place to feel fear and on the back porch in the sun is not it.”

I avoided her eyes by setting the afghan I’d finished aside and getting another one.

“Listen to your Grams, precious,” she ordered.

“I’m listening,” I told her, shaking out a blanket in preparation for folding it.

“You keep your chin up, you control tears and fear, you’ll be all right,” she told me.

“Okay,” I replied.

“Proud of you, chère,” she whispered.

I looked at her and smiled. “Love you, Grams.”

“I know, child. What do you think’s keepin’ me on this earth? Not easy to let go that kind of love. That kind of love’s got the power to hold you tethered to a world you should have left a long time ago.”

Oh my God.

Tears stung the backs of my eyes. I dropped the afghan and moved to her. Then I pulled her little, bony body in my arms and hugged her as tight as I dared.

She hugged me back.

Then she pushed me away, demanding, “Need a refill of tea. And get your boy one. He’s losin’ water.”

I pulled myself together, did as I was told and discovered I was right. Spot was lying in wait, not for cuddles but for blood. I discovered this when he hissed and launched an attack on my ankles the minute I stepped inside.

I stopped and looked down at him. “You don’t fool me, buddy. I know you love me.”

He reared back, hissed again, batted my toes then jerked away. He ran-waddled down the hall and disappeared.

I went to the kitchen, thinking that my days were filled with work and my evenings were filled with Raiden. I needed to figure out how to spend some time with KC so I could share things I needed to share without sharing things I couldn’t, and load up on more resources to fight fire so I’d be prepared when the time came.

Because no matter how good it was, and it was good, always underlying it was the understanding the time would come. I knew because I felt it and my wise grandmother told me.

And I had to be ready.

Sunday evening…

I parked my Z next to Raiden’s Jeep, got out and jogged on my toes to the side steps of his place.

He’d taken off early yesterday morning on unexpected business, which stunk, but he phoned an hour ago saying he’d be home soon and telling me to meet him at his place.

So I’d had my first almost two days without Raiden in a week.

I should have taken this time to phone KC, get her up to speed and load up my resources. More to the point, I should have taken this time to phone my pregnant friend and make sure all was good in her world too. She had a toddler, a husband who worked long hours, a huge house and volunteered at three charities.

Both of us being busy, it wasn’t unusual for days to pass where we didn’t check in, even weeks sometimes. But since she had a lot going on in her life and I did, too, this was not one of those times I should allow things to slide.

I just didn’t do it. I didn’t know why.

Maybe I was holding this time precious.

Maybe I was just an idiot.

I determined I’d call her the next day as I jogged up the steps and stopped outside Raiden’s door.

I knocked, calling, “It’s me!” I turned the knob and stepped in.

Raiden was at the kitchen-ish area wearing cargos, boots and a skintight tee.

My belly fluttered. I smiled and greeted, “Hey,” as I turned and closed the door.

I turned back, saw he’d turned fully toward me and I was about to take a step toward him before he said, “Stop.”

I went still and my head tipped to the side.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Don’t move until I tell you to and then do exactly what I tell you to do.”

Oh my God.

He was in the mood to play.

Instantly, I felt myself get wet between my legs as my heart started hammering and every inch of my skin began to tingle.

He leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms on his chest, his eyes moving over me. I added my nipples getting hard to the rest, marveling at the same time, glorying in the fact I had all that from him with a few words and a look from across a room.

As the seconds slid by, my breath began to get heavy.

Suddenly, he asked, “Trust me?”

“Yes,” I answered immediately.

“Then on all fours, baby, crawl to me and do it slowly.”

Oh God.

I didn’t know if I could do that. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t know if I could do it.

I held his eyes.

“Raiden,” I whispered.

“Do you trust me?” he semi-repeated.

I swallowed before I nodded.

“All fours, Hanna. Slow.”

I closed my eyes telling myself this was Raiden. He wouldn’t humiliate me. He wouldn’t debase me. I could trust that he would lead this to something good.

I opened my eyes again, kept them on him and slowly dropped to my knees. Keeping my head back, I fell forward to my hands.

Then, as he asked, slowly, I crawled toward him.

My stomach lurched when I was almost there and he uncrossed his arms and moved toward the bed. Confused, guessing, uncertain I liked this, the word “solitaire” on the tip of my tongue, I followed him.

He stopped at the foot of the bed.

I stopped two feet away from him, neck arched way back, eyes on his.

“Closer, Hanna, then up on your knees,” he ordered.

Fighting my nerves, I moved closer then got on my knees. I still held his gaze but my face was in line with his groin.

Okay, this could be better.

Maybe.

His hands went to his belt but his gaze stayed locked to mine as he pulled himself free.

“Hands on my hips, give me your mouth, honey,” he demanded.

Okay, this was better.

I did as I was told. I opened my mouth in preparation for taking him, but I didn’t give it to him. He took it, sliding inside.

Yes, this was better. So much so, I moaned against his cock.

“Fuck, my girl likes my cock,” he growled, sliding in and out of my mouth. “Hand in your shorts, Hanna. Touch yourself while you suck me off.”

Okay. Yes. Totally.

This was better.

I left one hand at his hip. The other one I used to open my shorts then I slid my hand inside. The minute my fingers touched the slick skin, I whimpered.

I sucked, I licked, I touched myself, my hips rolling and pressing into my fingers and I moaned against him. It was good, way good, tremendous and I worked him harder, urging him to take my mouth with my hand it his hip.

“Gentle,” Raiden said, his voice hoarse. “I fuck your face, I do it gentle.” My mouth sucking hard, my eyes lifted to his, he groaned, “Fuck,” and started thrusting into my mouth.

Yes.

I was working him. He was taking my mouth. My fingers were moving as desperately as my hips when he pulled out of my mouth and hauled me to my feet.

“Clothes off, now. Everything. Then get ready for me. Hands and knees on the bed.”

Okay. Now this was way better.

Rushing, I carried out his commands.

No sooner was I in place then his cock slammed into me.

My head flew back and I came.

I wasn’t close to finishing when he pulled out, turned and lifted me and impaled me on his cock. Then I was back to the bed, taking him until he thrust to the root, grinding, and he came for me, his face in my neck, his teeth sinking sharp into my skin.

That would leave a mark, but then again Raiden often left a mark.

He liked it and, it must be said, I did too.

Raiden barely finished before he rolled so I was on top, he tucked my face in his neck and his voice was rough when he murmured, “Missed you, honey.”

I loved it that he did.

I closed my eyes and pressed closer.

He was gone only two days, but I missed him, too.

Before I could share this, his arms around me got tight and he went on, “But don’t do that shit again.”

I blinked into his skin.

“Sorry?”

“You didn’t like it.”

I lifted my head and looked down at him. “I didn’t like what?”

“Crawling for me. I know it now, won’t ask you to do it again, but you didn’t like it and you did it. Don’t do that again.”

“But I…” I stopped then started again. “You told me to trust you. I trusted you. And it worked out in the end.”

“Did you like it?” he asked.

“I was… uncertain,” I admitted.

“You’re uncertain, we do something else and talk about it later. After we talk about it, maybe you’ll want to try it, maybe you won’t, but it’s your choice, Hanna. You’re on your hands and knees on the floor. Not me.”

I studied him. I couldn’t tell for sure, but it seemed he was upset.

I had to know so I asked quietly, “Are you angry at me?”

His eyes narrowed and his arms around me tensed. “Fuck no.”

“Then—”

“Babe, you gave that to me, beautiful. But playing is supposed to be fun for both of us. You play like we play, communication is crucial.”

That was great and all, but I was confused. “If you knew I didn’t like it, why did you keep doing it?”

“I’ve done stuff to you; you hesitate but then let go and get off on it. I couldn’t tell until you were closer and I moved. I had more planned, saw you were not with me on that, gave you my cock.”

“Oh,” I whispered.

“So promise me. I know you wanna please me and I like that a lot, honey, but don’t do that shit again.”

I looked into his unusual, amazing green eyes. I felt his hard body under mine, his cock still inside me, his arms tight around me and I knew it wasn’t Raiden who was going fast.

I was picking up speed, doing it as I fell, falling faster and faster.

For him.

Obviously, I didn’t share this.

Instead, I said, “I promise.”

“Good,” he muttered. He lifted up, touched his mouth to mine, fell back and ordered, “Now slide off me, baby. I’ll be back.”

I slid off his cock and rolled off his body. Raiden leaned in to kiss my jaw and his lips trailed down so the tip of his tongue could glide over where I knew his mark would be before he reached out and pulled the afghan over me. Then, naked, he got off the mattress and moved toward the bathroom.

I gathered the afghan close around my body and stared at his pillowcase.

I’d crawled across a room for Raiden Miller.

And it was him, not me, who stopped it because I didn’t like it.

Which made me look back and like it.

Because he just demonstrated (again) he was going to take care of me.

I needed to pull it together and start the process of taking care of him.

I just didn’t know how. What I did know was that what I just did was not the how.

So I had to figure out the how.

* * *

The next morning…

The minute the hinges on the door screamed after Raiden went into the bathroom to deal with the used condom, I tossed the covers back, grabbed his tee from the side of the bed and pulled it on as I dashed silently across the room to the picture frame.

I needed to understand.

But I couldn’t ask him.

Not yet.

I had to learn as much as I could without him.