“Yes and no.”
“I’d like to partner with you and Mom. I’ll have a few terms I’d like you to accept, but nothing major. And I’ll need some time to give notice here, maybe start in the spring?”
“That would be fine. I know your mother is beyond thrilled to have you join us.”
“And you?” Just how did James feel about him? Maybe Barbara had forced the decision on him.
“I’m more than happy to have you with us. But it would be easier for us all if you’d come clean about how you’re really feeling.” A pause. “About your mom and me, I mean.”
“Do we really need to have this discussion right now?” Dylan made a show of checking his watch. “I have a patient coming in, and I need to review his folder.”
“I think this is something you’ve been avoiding. For good reason, but it’s causing your mother distress.”
Dylan frowned. “‘For good reason’? Don’t try to psychoanalyze me, James. Just say what you want to say.” And get out went unsaid. Not the healthiest relationship to have with his new business partner, but Dylan had enough on his plate. He was really looking forward to later tonight. He didn’t want James to ruin it.
“Let’s be frank. I’ve been in love with your mother for years, but she never got over your father. I understand that. Hell, I loved him like a brother. Andrew was a special man.”
A lump grew in Dylan’s throat. He remembered his father, a man in the prime of his life. He’d always made Barbara laugh, even after she’d scolded him for leaving his shoes out or not putting his dirty clothes away. And he always had time for his sons, even the one who didn’t fit into what society wanted of him. “Yes, he was special. But he’s gone.”
“He’s dead, yes, but never gone.” James looked him in the eye. “I love your mother, Dylan. That’s the God’s honest truth. And she loves me. It’s hurting her that you’re avoiding the issue.”
“And what issue is that?” Dylan answered coldly. “You and my mother are dating. She’s a grown woman who doesn’t answer to her sons.”
“Yes. Her sons. Gage and Derrick are happy for us. They’ve expressed their pleasure with the situation, to the extent they gave us their blessing.” His eyes narrowed. “But you haven’t talked to your mother in a week and a half. This from the man who eats with her on Saturday mornings and makes it a habit to call and leave messages just to say hello?”
“I’m not tied to my mother’s apron strings, James. She’s got you now, so she doesn’t need me interfering in her life.” She doesn’t need me anymore.
James’s expression softened. “She misses you. Sure, she and I bounce ideas off each other at work and spend our evenings together, but you have a way of cutting through her bullshit. Say what you like, but she’s a lot like you. The woman has control issues.”
Dylan snorted. “Please. I’ve heard and seen you in action for years. You and she were made for each other.” Realizing what he’d said, he amended, “At work, you two fit. In a personal context, that’s not for me to say.”
“Oh?” James asked softly. “Why don’t you just admit how you feel? You don’t like us dating.”
“Dating? Is that what you call it?”
“I’d marry her tomorrow if she’d let me,” James said bluntly.
Dylan felt as if he’d been dealt a heavy blow. “Marriage?”
“Yes. That’s what two people who love each other often aspire to.” James stood. “I know I’ll never be your father. I don’t want to be. No one could ever take the place of Andrew Warren. But you and I have been friends for a long time, Dylan. I don’t understand why you can’t at least talk to me about how you feel.”
Dylan feared he’d say something he couldn’t take back, that he’d ruin his relationship with his mother, such as it was, and he wasn’t even sure what he felt. “James, all I want is my mother’s happiness.”
“Really? Then talk to her.” James shook his head. “I realize that no amount of time can ever totally erase the hurt of losing a loved one. But life goes on. Your brothers have found love. So has your mother. And maybe it’s time you did too. Maybe that would make this easier to handle.”
“What? That I go out and get laid so it’ll be okay for you to bang my mother?” Oh hell. That anger. That’s what he’d been worried about losing—his temper.
James blinked at him in shock. But Barbara’s voice was loud and clear when she answered from the doorway, “I cannot believe you’d say that to James.”
He groaned. Typical. His brothers cursed a blue streak, but she only ever heard Dylan swearing. The woman always managed to catch him with his foot in his mouth. But this time, she’d really nailed him. “Oh—hello, Mom.”
She crossed the room to stand next to James, her eyes frigid. “Do you really think all James and I have between us is sex?”
He inwardly cringed. He’d never admit it to his brothers, because he was a therapist after all, but hearing his mother mention s-e-x with James in the room made him nauseous. “I couldn’t say.” He sounded stiff, even to his own ears.
“James and I are in love. I’m sorry if that bothers you to hear.” She had tears in her eyes but never let a drop fall. “It’s been nearly eleven years without your father in my life. And I’ve missed him every single day.”
“Mom, I know.” God, if she cried, he’d lose it. “I want you to be happy.”
“No, I don’t think you do,” she said softly. “I’ve dated men since your father died. But no one stuck. James waited, and he supported me in ways I wasn’t aware of then.” She turned to smile at him. “Ways I’m only beginning to understand now. We love each other.” She turned back to Dylan. “I need to know. Do you accept us being together or not? It won’t make a difference to how I feel about him, but it will affect how you and I deal with one another. Son, I love you, but I won’t let you run my life.”
So, she’d choose her new lover over her son. Dylan clenched his jaw, trying to ignore the pain. He’d known this day would come, when his mother would no longer need him and break away. And though it had been long in coming, and he thought he’d reached the age where he could put aside petty needs of his own and support her wholeheartedly, he still couldn’t handle his feelings on the matter.
So he lied. “I only want what’s best for you, Mom. Of course, this feels sudden to me, and it’s hard to accept only because it feels so new. But I’m happy for you and James.” He included them both in the untruth. “It’s your life, after all. I’m a grown man. I can handle you being married to someone else. Dad passed years ago. He’d want you to be happy.” They were all the right words he should have said when she had first admitted her relationship with James. He wanted to mean it, every word, but a small part of himself—the hurt little boy deep inside—felt as if she’d chosen James over him.
It made little sense. The therapist inside him knew that. Yet he still couldn’t come to grips with his mother moving on and leaving him behind. Fuck. Gage had done it. Even his twin had started to pull away, spending all his time with Sydney and not Dylan. The family rarely had Saturday breakfasts at their mother’s anymore, and if they did, his brothers’ women inevitably showed. Dylan loved them, but things were so different now.
Barbara’s smile nearly undid him. “Oh, honey. I knew you just needed time to adapt. You’re not the best when it comes to dealing with change.”
An understatement, which made it so odd that he’d handled being with Harper and Freddy with ease.
She continued, “I’m so glad you said that. You don’t know how important it is that we have your approval.”
He shrugged and forced himself to sound nonchalant. “You’re a grown woman. Of course you should date whomever you see fit.”
James frowned, but Barbara smiled. “We’re talking about more than dating. Marriage, Dylan. I’ve wasted so many years already.”
“No, Barb. Not wasted. You had to give it time.” James stood and put an arm around her shoulder. He kissed her on the cheek, then turned to Dylan. “We haven’t told the others yet. We wanted you to be the first to know.”
“Marriage?” Dylan repeated like a parrot. James had mentioned it before, but his mother had confirmed it. The hurt he was experiencing became a numbness in his heart.
“Yes.” His mother nodded. “James and I want to travel, to do and see all the things we’ve wanted but never made the time to experience. If there’s anything I’ve taught you, Dylan, it’s to make the most of what you have, because you never know when it might be gone.”
Marriage. He cleared his throat. “I’m happy for you then. Congratulations.” He rounded the desk to hug his mother and shake James’s hand, not liking the man’s intense scrutiny.
He didn’t let go of the handshake until James did.
When James pulled back, he released a weary sigh. “I was worried, I’ll admit. I know how close you and your mother are. But our marriage won’t change that, Dylan.” James slapped him on the back. “I mean, hell. We’ve already been together for years at the office. Just not as a couple. Right, Barb?”
She kissed him on the cheek. “Right. Now, Dylan, I don’t want you avoiding us anymore. We’ll see you tomorrow morning for breakfast. Maybe you’ll bring a date?” she prodded.
“Maybe,” he said absently, trying to make sense of this new reality.
“Oh good.” Barbara leaned forward to buss his cheek. “Derrick said he’s going to ask Sydney to marry him on Christmas Eve. I think he’s planning a June wedding. And with Gage’s wedding in another two months, James and I need to figure out when to plan our own nuptials. We don’t want to get in the way of the boys.”
“Derrick too, huh?” Derrick, Gage, his mother. All of them. Gone.
“We’d like you to be involved,” Barbara said. “James was wondering if—”
James interrupted, “We’ve hit you with a lot today. And you have a patient coming soon. We’ll talk more later. Breakfast tomorrow, right, Dylan?”
“Right. Sure.” Dylan’s jaw hurt from so much smiling. “I’ll see you two lovebirds then.”
Barbara laughed. “That’s my boy.”
James tugged her by the hand, waved, and left with her, shutting the door behind them.
Dylan sank into his chair. He wished to hell he could talk to his mother about his strange feelings. Or better yet, confer with James. But what he might have done in the past didn’t make sense now, in this new Barbara-James stage of his life. His brothers wouldn’t understand his resentments. Hell, he wasn’t sure why he had them.
Derrick thought Dylan was being an ass, but he hadn’t yet mentioned that to Gage. If he had, the little snot would have been by to bug the crap out of him. Since Gage and Hailey were so lovey-dovey all the time, the pair liked to think of themselves as amateur cupids. Hell, they’d even talked about setting up Hailey’s single friends.
He rubbed his temples and wondered what Freddy might say about all this. Women normally had better intuition and sense when it came to relationships. Then again, Harper had a pretty tight relationship with his own family. Maybe he could help Dylan resolve his issues about his mother.
It was enough to make a grown therapist want to lie down on his own couch.
While Harper and Freddy waited for Dylan to arrive, they sat together, talking in the dungeon Freddy had specifically chosen for their play tonight.
Damn if Harper didn’t like her better every time they met. Stupid guy that he was, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut about it either. “I really like you, Freddy.”
She sat on the large bed next to him and gripped his hand. “I like you too.”
“No. I mean, I really like you.” He paused and took a chance. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”
She just stared at him.
He sighed. Always acting too soon, he knew. But hell, he had little patience. “I’ve had a thing for you for months.”
“So you’ve said.” She sounded subdued.
“But it was more than that I liked the look of you. You’re sexy, smart and funny. You make me laugh. I wanted to ask you out long before, but the timing just sucked. I got busy or you weren’t around. And then we finally got together, and it was more than I’d hoped it would be.” Harper brought her hand to his lips. “I want to be with you all the time. You and me…and Dylan.”
She blew out a breath. “Oh, Harper.”
Here it comes. The “It’s not you, it’s me” speech. All the reasons why we can’t be together.
“I feel the same about you and Dylan.”
“You do?”
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