He had to be about halfway in when his hand reached down under the pillow to find my clit. After all he’d done to me, I was incredibly sensitive and he seemed to know that, because he used a light touch to rub it in circles, pushing deeper into my ass until I felt the muscles of his stomach against my bottom. I flexed, trying to accustom myself to this new intruder, and he groaned sharply. I felt him jerk inside me, and I squeezed again.

“Holy shit,” Horse muttered, starting to rub my clit more quickly. “You’re gonna kill me, babe.”

I sighed and then moaned as he started pulling out, which caused a whole new flood of feeling. That started the slow glide of his cock in and out of my ass. It hurt at first, but it didn’t hurt badly and that little bit of pain was all mixed up with the incredible sensations building in my lower body. He was rock-hard inside me and every time I squeezed him he took his revenge by dragging his rough finger across the swollen tip of my clit.

The torture was mutual.

After an eternity of easing the way, he started moving more quickly in me. Not fast, mind you. He still took care, but this was definitely pumping action, not a slow glide. I found myself twisting under him, seeking my own relief as his fingers played me expertly. My need wound tighter and tighter and I thrust my butt back at him, ready and waiting to go over the edge a final time. Sensing this, he pressed my clit down hard as he seated himself deep within. That tipped me over the edge and shivers swept through me, along with sweet, shuddering relief. He groaned hard and leaned down, biting my shoulder as his cock surged deep inside, held captive by my clenching ass. That’s when he blew, gasping and panting against my back.

He lay on top of me for several minutes, cock slowly shrinking down, which was a very strange feeling. Then he pulled out and went into the bathroom. I heard the sink running and the toilet flush before he came out and climbed back into the bed. He pulled me into his arms and I lay against him like a limp doll, spent and sore and completely satisfied.

“That was incredible, Marie,” he whispered, kissing me deeply. I hardly had the energy to kiss him back and he pulled away, chuckling softly. “Sleep, babe.”

I tucked into him, body exhausted, thought processes long shut down. Sleep was instant and dreamless.

A phone rang in the early morning darkness. I grunted, pushing at Horse. It kept ringing and finally he moved, reaching over and grabbing it. I whimpered because he’d pulled the covers off me, letting in tendrils of hateful cold.

“Yeah?” he answered, voice rough and gravelly. He listened for a moment, and then I felt the air in the room change.

“Are you sure?” he asked, alert now, his voice utterly devoid of emotion. “No, I hear you. Is someone with Cookie?”

That didn’t sound good. It really didn’t sound good. I sat up in bed, pulling the covers across my breasts. Horse ignored me, utterly focused on the phone call. I felt a twinge in my ass but I ignored it. Last night felt like some surreal dream—a dream I wasn’t ready to remember just yet.

“Thanks,” Horse said finally. He dropped the phone down, then rolled away from me and stood up, reaching for his pants. Tension roiled off him, along with waves of anger so powerful it scared me.

Last night’s lover had left the building.

“What happened?” I asked, keeping my voice low and calm. He didn’t look at me as he spoke.

“Bagger’s dead,” he said, reaching down for his long-sleeved thermal shirt. Then he grabbed his cut. “Died two days ago, took them awhile to locate his body for confirmation. Cookie’s at the hospital, she collapsed when they told her last night. I’ve got to go. You can call the other girls but don’t leave the armory. We’re still on watch against the Jacks. You got it?”

He glanced at me, waiting for me to acknowledge his orders. I nodded and he left without another word.

Chapter Nineteen

I’ve never felt so helpless in my life.

I didn’t even know Bagger, aside from saying hi to him on Skype a couple of times. I didn’t have a right to mourn him, not like everyone else. But I mourned for Cookie and Silvie, his little girl who cried for her daddy at night and begged to perform for him in front of their webcam with her little stuffed dog. I wanted to do something to help, even if it was something stupid like cleaning her house or cooking. Instead I sat alone in my room and watched a stunning sunrise while everyone I’d come to know and love in Coeur d’Alene suffered.

Around nine Horse called me and told me I should go downstairs, find some food. He warned me that the place was a mess and told me that if any of the women gave me shit I could to throw their asses out. Um, right. I needed to stay in the building, other than that I’d be okay. I walked down the stairs cautiously, expecting to see wreckage and evidence of some kind of giant orgy. Instead I found subdued men drinking coffee and a bunch of tired, hungover-looking women. A few of them huddled in a corner, crying. One of them was Serena, the woman I’d seen last night sitting next to Horse. She approached me cautiously, like she expected me to go crazy on her. I didn’t have the energy and it just didn’t seem very important anymore.

“You hungry?” she asked, taking my shoulders and looking at me, clearly checking me over for I don’t know what…injury from Horse’s giant penis? She would know, I thought, feeling morose.

“Not really, but I should probably eat,” I answered.

“I know what you mean. C’mon, we got donuts over here.” She led me over to a table on the far side of the room, littered with donuts and a couple boxes of coffee to-go from Starbucks.

“Starbucks? Seriously?” I asked. She shook her head and grimaced.

“I knew the boys would need something,” she said, shrugging. “It’s what was easy. Eat something, hon. It’s gonna be a long day.”

“Do you know Cookie?” I asked. I’d tried to call Em a while ago, but she hadn’t answered and I didn’t want to bother anyone. The last thing they needed was to be worrying about me. But I really wanted to know how she was holding up. I couldn’t begin to imagine what she was going through. Serena shrugged.

“Yeah, although not well,” she said. “I’m not really the girl they parade in public, you know?”

“Does that bother you?” I asked. Then I bit my tongue, realizing how insensitive that was. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that. Please forgive me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied, giving me a small, weak smile. “I don’t want to be one of their old ladies, and despite what you might think, I’ve had more than one opportunity. I like my freedom. I’ve got my place and it’s worked for me. I’m moving on to something new now anyway. But this… This throws me. They always seem so strong, you don’t think of anything being able to kill them, you know?”

I nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. When I’d first met him, I’d half wondered if Horse was a Terminator.

“Did you know Bagger?” I asked. She nodded, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“Yeah,” she said without elaborating. “He was crazy about Cookie, you know. He didn’t cheat on her. Horse isn’t a cheater either. Last night, that wasn’t anything, what you saw with us. We were just talking. I hope you believe that.”

I shrugged, not sure what to believe. Cookie’s life was in ruins and I supposed that at some point I should check my email to see what fresh games Jeff was playing. Things kept hitting so hard and fast I couldn’t keep up.

“Hey,” she said, shaking my shoulder a little. “Wake up, look at me. This is important.”

“What?” I asked, trying to make myself focus.

“He loves you,” she said, holding my gaze with hers. “I know all about what happened, everyone does. They spread it around, wanted to be sure people know they didn’t give your brother a pass. You’re collateral for him, and all that shit. But the reason you’re really here is that Horse loves you. Do you get that?”

“I honestly don’t know what to think about any of this,” I replied. “All I know is that Cookie is in hell and I can’t do anything for her.”

“You can help me get this shithole whipped into shape,” Serena replied sharply. “There’s going to be a funeral, and they’ll have tons of people coming in from out of town. Three states worth of bikers will be here to show their respects. We have to get ready. It’s something you can do for Cookie, she knows Bagger would want a hell of a wake. This is where it’ll happen. We have to get it cleaned up and ready, you up for that?”

I looked around. She was right. The place needed cleaning in a big way. And we’d need food too. Lots of it. I knew there was a kitchen somewhere on the ground floor, but I wasn’t sure how good it was. Could it handle that many people?

“That’s better,” she said, smiling at me. “Nice to have you join us this morning. I knew there was a reason Horse shelled out so much for you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, caught off guard.

She tilted her head at me, eyes speculative.

“Horse paid a shitload of money for you, girl,” she said softly. “Didn’t you know that? Maybe not, that’s not part of the public story…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, eyeing her suspiciously. I wasn’t sure I could handle another shock, I really wasn’t. But I needed to know what she meant by that comment.

“Horse paid the club $50,000 out of his own pocket to give your brother another chance,” she said bluntly. “They were going to kill him outright, but Horse wanted you for his old lady and he knew how much your brother means to you. He paid the club to give your brother another chance. How do you not know this?”

I shook my head, feeling dizzy.

Horse paid the club to save my brother. Horse was a murderer who killed women and children. Horse offered to send me to college, knew how to fight hand to hand and taught me to shoot. Multiple personalities? Two certainly weren’t enough… But I’m a practical girl. I’d spent a good chunk of the past day feeling dazed and confused, but now I had a job.

“Okay,” I said, pushing all that away. I’d think about it later, like so many other things piling up. “So how do we want to do this?”

“Let’s get the girls together in the game room,” she said. “We’ll figure out who’s just party leftovers and who’s willing to pitch in and help.”

Eventually we rounded up about twenty women in various states of undress, a few of the guys watching in interest without interfering. Serena stood up and introduced me as Horse’s old lady, which made all of them sit up a little straighter. Then she looked over toward me, obviously waiting for me to speak. That was a surprise, I thought she’d take the lead but apparently not. Clearly, as the only old lady in the room, I was supposed to be in charge.

“Okay, so it sounds like most of you heard the news,” I said. “Bagger is dead, he died in Afghanistan. I didn’t know Bagger, but I know his wife and daughter. Obviously this is a big deal, and if you want to do something to help, I need to get the clubhouse clean and ready for company. I don’t know how much time you have or how much work you can do, but anything is a help. Who can stay and clean?”

A few raised their hands, but most of them looked away, unwilling to meet my eyes. One, definitely not a girl but a woman, walked over to me.

“I’ll be in charge of getting the guest rooms and studios ready,” she said. She was a tall brunette who looked to be in her early thirties, with tight jeans and a lot of swagger. Unlike the others, she looked sexy but not slutty, which was impressive considering how many were sporting giant raccoon hangover eyes. “A lot of them are full right now, but we’ll need to find room for more people to camp out. Some’ll get hotel rooms, but a lot will stay here. What’s your name? Aside from Horse’s old lady?”

She offered me a genuine, if sad, smile, and I decided I liked her. This sweet butt situation was more complicated than I’d realized, because obviously they weren’t all brainless sluts.

“I’m Marie. What’s yours?”

“I’m Claire,” she replied, holding out her hand for me to shake. Her grip was firm and reassuring. “I’ve been a friend of the club since high school but I’m not with any of the guys. Just came by last night to see some friends from out of town, you know how that is.”

I shrugged, not quite sure what she meant and not too worried about it. Her obvious respect surprised me, although I was starting to realize it shouldn’t have. There seemed to be a hierarchy of Reaper women, with old ladies at the top, but right now I didn’t care what their status was if they’d help me get the armory ready for Bagger’s funeral.