“It started my third year of med school when I was seeing patients. I started to realize that it wasn’t about me. It was about the patients and their families, and I could make a difference. I could save these people, keep them from going—”

“Keep them from going through what you went through,” Baylor said, squeezing Hobie’s hands. “That’s a noble impulse.”

“Yes, it was, at first. But after my surgical rotation, when I started saving lives, I felt like…like I was God, almost. I held people’s lives in my hands. I could choose whether they would



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live or die. I thought I could cheat death.” She laughed bitterly. “Can you imagine the arrogance?”

“I’m sure that’s not uncommon among surgeons,” Baylor said.

“No, it isn’t. But then I gave up. I came home. I had just finished my first year of residency when I started to feel...I don’t know exactly. I think it was about the time I lost my first baby. We did everything for her, but she was just too small and weak. She got a postoperative infection and died in the middle of the night. I failed at the one thing I swore I would be good at. I finally had to accept that no matter how hard I worked, I couldn’t save everyone. I started to see the faces of patients I lost, and I heard their families crying in the waiting rooms.”

“So that’s when you gave up medicine and came back to the island?” Baylor asked.

“No. I changed to a family practice residency program. I thought it would be better there and it helped for a while, but then I had a terrible month I went on code after code, and unfortunately, that’s when I started to drink. At first, it was just a couple of glasses of wine when I came home at night, something to relax me. It escalated to the point where I would just drink until I could look at myself in the mirror, look at myself and not see a complete failure staring back. That usually meant until I passed out. It didn’t last long enough to become a major problem. It was only a couple of months before I realized I didn’t want to live that way. I finished up my residency, then I came home.”

Baylor smiled in understanding, having undergone some amazing changes herself since living on the island. “It was Ana Lia, wasn’t it? That changed you.”

“I guess that’s as good an explanation as any. I felt so lost by the time I got back home. I had no confidence or ambition of any kind. I was in limbo. I think it was a gradual process. The kind of thing where you can’t really look back and identify the exact point where it all changed. I started to get involved in people’s lives, listening and accepting. Goofy little things like starting a flower garden or helping out at the grade school. One day, I woke up and realized that I liked myself. I also had a few conversations



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with Rebecca Ashby.”


Baylor grinned. “The key to happiness.” “Yes. How did you know?”

“I’ve talked to her a little bit about that very thing. Not that I’m any closer to figuring it out, but it’s an interesting concept.”

“It took me a number of years to put it all together. I started working with Mary Thigpen, a visiting veterinarian. One thing led to another and here I am today. I can’t say it was one thing—it was a hundred—but I know it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t come back to Ana Lia. The icing on my cake was having Noah. He was the only thing I felt I was missing in my life.”

“So what is your key?”


“Home. I mean...Oh, this sounds goofy when I say it out loud.”

“No, it doesn’t. Really, I’d like to know.”


“It doesn’t matter where. It’s more the notion of home, what it represents. I guess it could be a shack on the beach, but if what you love, what you care about more than anything is there, then it’s home. For me, that became the key to my happiness. I realized that as long as I had someplace to think of as home, I’d never be alone and I’d never be a failure. I’d always have somewhere to go. Right now, that place is Ana Lia. Because even if I had no family here, I’d still have people who care. I’d always have a spot on this earth to return to and know that I was loved, that I don’t have to be perfect and that my best will always be good enough.”

“So now your life is just great, eh?”


Hobie let out an ironic chuckle. “Yeah, except for the times when I go off on the people I care about.”

“I guess I kind of bring that about, huh?” “No, Baylor, well, I mean—”

“Hobie, it’s okay. You can be honest with me.”


“I suppose you don’t help all the time.” Hobie stroked the smooth skin of Baylor’s cheek. “I don’t blame you, though, because it’s not your fault. I’m responsible for me and my actions. I won’t go blaming my behavior on someone else. You’re trying. I see that a little more every day. I see how hard you’re working at fitting in here, and I’m proud of you for that.”



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“That’s why I find your story, your past, so interesting, I guess. I didn’t really try, Hobie, not at first anyway. It’s something about this island and these people, something...I don’t know what, but I know this place changed me. Of course, now I’m trying, but at first...”

“It just happened. I know. That’s exactly the way I felt.” Baylor smiled and leaned in to place a gentle kiss on Hobie’s

cheek. “You’re a wonderful woman, Hobie. I don’t really want you to know the person I used to be. I’d prefer you just know the woman I am now, and I want that door to swing both ways. You don’t have to be afraid of the way you were or of losing it now and again. I love who you are now, and that’s all I really care about.”

Baylor took a deep breath. She wondered why she wasn’t experiencing the same intense anxiety she had before. If anything, this was an even more profound moment.

“I love you with all my heart, Hobie Lynn.”


Suddenly, Hobie’s expression changed. Her hands grew cold. She pulled out of Baylor’s grasp and stood, quickly walking a few feet away.

“What’s going on?” Baylor asked. “I…maybe we should think about this.” “I thought you said you loved me, too.” “I did. I do. It’s just—”

Baylor tried to keep the hurt out of her voice. Just what is she afraid of when it comes to me? “Hobie, I’m not going to hurt you,” she said gently.

“It’s okay, never mind.” Hobie turned back to face Baylor, but her face was an emotionless mask.

“God, you are so frustrating! Why are you so…so...guarded?” Baylor had to struggle for the right word. “It’s like you have all these walls built up around you and you only let me in so far.”

“Oh, right. I think telling you my life story, what I used to be like, was a pretty good invitation.”

“No. No, it’s not. You’re guarding yourself like Fort Knox. You let me on the front step, or through the door, but no farther. You’re acting like you’re scared to death of something, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out what it is.”



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“I’m not scared.”


“You are! What are you afraid of, Hobie?” Baylor placed a hand on Hobie’s arm.

Hobie pulled free and moved away. The tears made their way down her cheeks. “I am not afraid. Nothing scares me!”

“Bullshit!” Baylor reached Hobie in two strides. “You’re terrified and I want to know why. Look at you!” She gestured toward Hobie’s nervously intertwined fingers. “What are you so afraid of, Hobie Lynn?”

“You!” Hobie brushed her sudden tears away. “All right? You scare me!”

“Me?” Baylor questioned in a soft voice. “Why do I scare you?”

“Because at first I didn’t like you. It didn’t matter what you did or how you acted because I didn’t care, then all of sudden you became...nice, and...well, before you could treat people like shit and walk all over them because...because I didn’t like you!” Hobie lowered her head, as well as her voice. “And now, I like you. I love you. I really love you.”

“And that scares you?” Hobie nodded.

“Why does it scare you to be in love with me? I mean, aside from the fact that I’m a loathesome and generally detestable character.” Baylor smiled but couldn’t get Hobie to reciprocate.

“I’m thinking of Noah.” Hobie lowered her gaze again. “Noah? But I love Noah, and I thought he was crazy about

me, at least—”


“It’s not that. It’s just that, well, he is crazy about you.” “Then the problem would be?”

“Because he likes you, he’ll begin to trust you. Trust that you won’t lie to him or treat him badly. Then he’ll come to depend on you. Depend that you’ll always be there for him and that you’ll love him as much as he loves you. And then one day...one day you’ll leave.”

“Hobie, you’re not really talking about Noah here, are you?” She gently wiped a lone tear from Hobie’s cheek. “You’re talking about you, right?”



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Hobie nodded and fell into the embrace that Baylor offered. Baylor had always thought of Hobie as a strong woman, one

who could take care of herself. At that moment, however, Baylor felt that she wanted, even needed, to protect Hobie. Hobie’s father had left her with one lasting impression: he had loved her, then he had left. It didn’t matter that it was death that took him away. To a young girl, things like that didn’t matter. What Hobie had always remembered was that things she loved left.

Baylor kissed Hobie’s forehead and smoothed her hair. “Hobie, if you’re afraid of loving me, well...knowing me the way you do, you have every right to be afraid of that. I can be selfish and controlling. I can act like a child sometimes, and loving anyone other than Tanti and Jules is new to me.” She lifted Hobie’s chin. “Frankly, I’d be more worried about your sanity if you weren’t afraid.”

Hobie returned Baylor’s smile with a hesitant one of her own.

“But if you’re afraid of something else, something like…like me leaving, all I can say is that I have some other attributes that you may not know about yet. For one, I’m very loyal. Jules and I have been through some major rows, but I’ve never thought twice about watching her back, even during our worst fights. I’m faithful, Hobie, honest to God I am. I haven’t been able to think about anyone else since I met you, and I don’t see that changing. And I know that thinking of someone other than myself is new to me, but I do love you...and Noah. I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I think about anything happening to either one of you. I love both of you, Hobie Lynn, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“It could happen, even if you didn’t want it to,” Hobie said in a frail voice.

Baylor closed her eyes and prayed she could convince Hobie otherwise. “I know that’s what happened to your dad, but that doesn’t mean it will happen again. Please, don’t live in fear of that. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being here, from loving you, it’s that I can’t let my past unhappiness dictate my future. If I do, I just keep making the same mistakes over and over. Even little kids learn not to touch a hot stove once they’ve been burned.”



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She wondered if it was only her imagination, but she thought that Hobie began to look at her differently. She no longer clung to Baylor quite so desperately. Baylor didn’t think one statement from her would change Hobie’s life, but she hoped that the frightened woman would be able to get a sense of what was in her heart.

“I can’t predict the future, but I do know that I love you and that I have no intention of leaving you. I want to be with you, and I don’t mean just while I’m on the island or for any sort of affair. I want there to be a commitment between us. It can be here, on the island, or on the moon for all I care. Wherever you and Noah are is where I want my home to be. My question is, do you want the same thing?”

“I’m not any picnic to live with, Noah will tell you that.” “And you think I am?” Baylor breathed a sigh of relief. Hobie

was smiling and looked more like the lovely woman Baylor had come to know.

“I know my fears are unreasonable—”