Vivian Arend - Rising, Freestyle

The vulnerable sensation rippling through her body had nothing to do with her past injuries. It had everything to do with the rising lust she seemed helpless to resist, the yearning to be caressed by the two men who mattered the most.

A warm hand slipped across her belly, palm in full contact, and she froze. Nathan was touching her. He delicately circled her bare belly button—she had taken out the ring for climbing—before pulling his fingers back to wrap them around her waist. Settling directly on top of her scarred skin.

Oh my God.

Instant fear surfaced, even though she had buried it under layers and layers of barriers. Bile rose to her mouth, in anticipation of the coming agony. Any second now Nathan was going to recoil in disgust, and his response would rip her soul in two. A blur passed in front of her eyes as she waited for the dagger to stab into her heart.

“Breathe, Mel. Come on, I’m here, holding you. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Derrick’s voice dragged her back from the wall of anxiety that had rushed up, blocking all possible escape routes but sheer panic. She took a deliberate breath of air through her nose before lifting her gaze to his.

He remained waiting like a rock, something solid to cling to. Still, the mixture of terror and desire clouding her brain made concentration difficult. “He’s t-t-touching me.”

Derrick nodded. “If you like it, he’ll continue to touch you. But only if you want.”

“You’re a very desirable woman, Melanie.” Nathan swept his hand over her abdomen again, ranging higher this time. The tips of his fingers brushed the underside of her breasts and sent jolts of excitement to her nipples, her core.

In spite of the ache in her body, she needed to know. Her heart was fragile—even more fragile than her body had been three years ago as she lay crumpled at the bottom of the hill. Melanie spoke her fears. “I don’t understand. Derrick—what’s happening? Are we not a couple anymore?”

“Oh, Mel.” Derrick cupped her face in his hands. “No, that’s not it at all. I need you, I want you, and have no intention of letting you go. But I also care enough about you to give you what you need.”

“What I need?” Another gentle pass of Nathan’s hand over her sensitive skin caused a shiver that consumed her entire body. “You think I need…Nathan?”

Derrick soothed her, hands and lips petting her softly. “You tell me.”

Sunlight wavered around them, the tall trees swaying in the breeze making the shadows dance around the clearing. It was the most peaceful of settings, and she closed her eyes and soaked in the serenity around her to force out the fears rocking her world.

Sexually aroused, emotionally anxious—and stunned by what she grew more certain was love shining in Derrick’s eyes.

Melanie twisted until she sat sideways in his lap, both legs dangling to the side. She glanced behind them where Nathan squatted. There was no mistaking the heated interest in his expression as his gaze roamed over her body.

Derrick thought she needed Nathan. Did she? Her first response to him touching her scars had been worlds apart from her reaction earlier in the gym, and on the bouldering wall. Instead of a rush of desire, she’d felt dread.

Why? Why the change?

Because he’d made actual contact. That’s when she’d been rejected before.

She touched Derrick’s face. “You want me to let him touch my scars. To prove that they don’t mean anything.”

“To prove your attractiveness is far more than skin-deep.”

Even as fast as her heart fluttered, there was a twist of irony in the setup. “This seems a radical form of therapy.”

Derrick bumped his nose against her cheek, breathing from the vee of her neck. The warm puff of his breath slid down her skin like a delicious secret. He spoke for her ears alone. “Doing is much better proof than discussing for hours. I’ll be right here, and you can say stop whenever you want. Kiss him if you want, touch him, allow him to touch you.” He pulled back, staring possessively at her lips. His tone dropped, thick with lust. “And when you’ve had enough, I’m making love to you until you lose all doubts about how desirable you are.”

She squeezed her legs together at the instant response his promise created in her body.

“Do you understand?”

Melanie nodded slowly. It was preposterous. Fantastic. Slightly mad.

Derrick paused. “If this is what you want, it’s up to you to take it.”

Brilliant. There would be no chance down the road she could claim this was something she’d felt pressured into. If she wanted, she could act. Make it her decision to step forward to prove herself attractive to more than just one man.

A rush of self-reproach hit. Why wasn’t being attractive to Derrick enough? He’d been so consistent and caring, and she still hadn’t been able to move beyond her limitations. Melanie lifted her lips to his and accepted his kiss. Hard for a moment, both of them affirming their connection, needing proof of it. Derrick eased back, a questioning expression on his face as he waited for her decision.

Having Derrick in her life was the start of healing, but she still felt caged. And it was past time to fix this problem.

This offer—to try and break the final chains that wrapped her in bondage—it was as if a lifeline was being stretched to her. Even though her limbs trembled, she turned to face Nathan, because she damn well needed this for her soul.

“Monkey?” Nathan’s knuckles were white where he’d dug his fingers into his thighs as he waited a few feet away. The grass lay crumpled under his knees, a smear of dirt along the edge of his shorts. Patient, and oh-so masculine. No longer the young man she’d lusted after before she even knew what lust was.

She shook her head, casting aside all her childish connections. “I’m not a monkey anymore. I grew up.” And the grown-up woman had needs the teenage fantasy couldn’t answer.

But the man before her could.

Nathan’s response was a skin-tingling, body-melting smile. “I noticed.”

She shuffled forward on Derrick’s lap, the firm base of his thighs giving her a chair-like base to rest upon that allowed her feet to touch the ground. With one hand she reached for Nathan, and he moved to accept it.

His fingers were less callused than Derrick’s. Not soft, but not the hands of a climber. With her wrist captured, Nathan rotated his hand, delicately holding her palm upward in the circle of his fingers.

“Derrick is right. You can say stop at anytime. I find you very attractive, Melanie Dixon, and I can’t wait to prove it. In detail.”

She couldn’t tear her gaze away. He seemed fascinated with the tendons in her wrist, tracing them with the fingertips of his other hand, inching his way up the sensitive skin of her arm until he made contact with the inside of her elbow. Traveling in conjunction with his touch was a freaky sensation somewhere between being tickled and being held at the edge of a rocking orgasm.

Was it possible to climax without a single sexual touch?

“I want to kiss you, Mel.”

He waited for her response, his long dark lashes that she’d envied as a teen lazily fluttering as he stared at her mouth.

A kiss would be good. If she remembered how to talk, she would tell him that. Instead, she managed a nod, and his smile arrived right on cue. He released her wrist, slipping one hand all the way up until he cradled her neck. His other hand dropped to rest feather-light on her thigh.

Nathan leaned in until his mouth made contact with hers, tracing his tongue over her bottom lip tentatively. Even as she pressed closer for more, Derrick’s firm grasp reassured her, his thumbs stroking slowly back and forth over the curve of her hipbones, adding to the desire rocking her core.

The situation was bewildering, but the actual increase in her pulse had everything to do with arousal instead of fear and she could have cried because it felt so wonderful.

She crushed her lips against Nathan’s, not allowing him to remain delicate. His response was immediate—passionate and demanding. He held her head in place and took her mouth by storm. Thrusting with his tongue, biting her lips, rocking the pleasure in her to a higher level in a split second. It was unlike any childish fantasy she’d clung to and, oh God, it was good.

The heat behind her confirmed Derrick was still there. That when she’d had enough of Nathan’s caresses, her lover was going to make her body sing like he had proven over and over he could—

The line between panic and pleasure blurred further. It might have been fear that started her heart racing in the first place, but it was the sensation of Nathan’s hand moving on her thigh that pushed a needy cry from her throat.

Crux: The hardest move on a route.

The breathless sound echoed in his ears, and Derrick felt the same damn shiver of lust that occurred when he was the one making Melanie respond. He was a fucked-up bastard—Nathan and Mel’s lips were locked together, the man’s hands were moving on her body and not one single iota of jealousy registered. If anything, Derrick had gotten harder in the last minute than he’d been before.

He stroked her skin under his fingers, smooth on one side, pocked and marred on the other—there was nothing about her body she had to be ashamed or worried about. If having Nathan touch her could convince Mel of that forever, this was the cure to use.

She gasped again and Derrick tightened his grip on her hips. Centering her, being there for her. Listening for any indicators she wanted to retreat, but even while she leaned away from Nathan’s kiss, Melanie reached up to catch hold of his head.

“That was way better than when I was sixteen.”

Nathan grimaced. “You weren’t supposed to know it was me who gave you that kiss.”

She wriggled in Derrick’s lap as she laughed. “Oh my God, are you serious? Even blindfolded I knew it was you.”

Blindfolded?

Then there was no chance to ask any questions as the train moved forward in a rush.

“Take off your top.” Nathan flicked a glance over Mel’s shoulder at him then returned his full attention to her. Under Derrick’s hands, she’d gone tight. Rigid as a rock wall, and Derrick wondered if Nathan had pushed too hard.

She leaned against his chest and took a deep breath. Nathan waited, silent yet demanding. Derrick was on the verge of speaking—of suggesting this wasn’t needed. That he’d made a mistake, when Melanie surprised him.

“Close your eyes,” she ordered back, and Nathan complied, snapping them shut. His hands remained resting on her thighs, hunger on his face.

Mel twisted her head. “Derrick, you still with me?”

“All the way, whatever you want.” Whatever it took to make her happy. Derrick was more convinced every minute he was in for the long haul.

She nodded, then maneuvered the sports bra from her body, dropping it to the grass beside them. Derrick peeked over her shoulder to admire the tight points of her nipples poking from the rounds of her breasts.

“Hmm, can I touch as well?” he asked, and Melanie reached back and caught his head, tugging until their lips met. Passion rocked through him, a thunderous noise in his ears as they kissed—so right and familiar now, yet new and unique each time. Derrick wrapped his hands around her torso to cup her beautiful breasts. He played with her nipples between forefingers and thumbs, lightly teasing the tips, rolling and tugging and pinching until she moaned.

Moisture touched his fingers, and Derrick swallowed the exclamation she made before pulling back to observe Nathan come in for a second slow swipe over the exposed peak of one breast. Nathan had kept his hands locked on Melanie’s thighs, only his mouth touching, tongue darting out to flick the tip again and again.

Derrick adjusted his hold to bare more of her breast, and Nathan took immediate advantage, wrapping his lips around the entire nipple and sucking.

Melanie writhed on Derrick’s lap, her ass rubbing his erection as she arched and pressed closer to Nathan’s eager mouth. “So good. Yes, like that…”

As Nathan moved his hands up to cradle and caress, Derrick slipped his out of the way, simply enjoying the heat of her in his lap, the brush of her skin against his torso as she continued to lean in his direction. He watched. Assessing, judging, ready to act if her enthusiastic response changed, but there was no need. She caught Nathan by the hand and directed his touch, their fingers linked as she allowed her old friend to brush the damaged skin on her torso, the side of her breast.