"I wondered what they would do with me. I had heard stories of the fierceness of the natives of some far-off lands. Captain Cook had been clubbed to death when he went to the Sandwich Islands to recover a stolen boat. I might have thought of a hideous fate which they were preparing for me—but I did not. Strangely enough I sensed the goodness of these people. They were tall and strong; they could have been warlike, but there was a gentleness about them and in spite of my position and the strangeness of it all, I felt no fear.

"I was completely exhausted and slept for a long time. When I awoke there was always at least one pair of dark eyes watching me. They gave me food—fruit milk and something which I had never tasted before but which I believe is known as breadfruit.

"I think I must have been at least four days and nights in their care before I was fully conscious.

"When I stood up they clapped their hands. They began to shout and one of the men ran out of the house and began beating with his hands on a drum which I learned later was the way in which they summoned the company. I shall never forget the hour or so which followed. They came in to look at me. They walked round me. They touched me, marvelling, I guessed, at my white skin. They looked with wonder into my light eyes; but it was my fair hair which intrigued them most.

"I had no fear of them. That was what was so wonderful. They stood around me, those tall men and women with their shining golden ornaments and their flowers. They could have tortured me, killed me in the most horrible manner... and that did not occur to me. It was only after I left the island that I thought of it.

"They were happy people. They laughed continually. They squatted round me, touching my hair again and again, offering me fruit and coconut shells full of liquor.

"I sat beside the chief. I guessed he was the chief because he wore more gold ornaments than the others. Moreover he had an air of authority.

"Well... that was my island."

"And how long were you there?"

"I don't know. I lost count of time." He turned to me. "I have to find it. It was all so strange. I could at times believe that there is no such place ... that I imagined it."

"How could you have done so?"

"No. It is impossible. I went there."

"Tell me more. Tell me everything. I want to share all your adventures."

"We talked to each other by signs. I learned one or two of their words. Go; Come. Words like that. It was a thriving community because they had all they wanted on the island. They had fish and fruit in abundance. They grew certain crops, the like of which I have never seen elsewhere. They cooked in earth ovens with pots made of gold buried in the ground with the sun's rays beating down on them... and sometimes in an apparatus like a haybox. They lived mainly on fish which abounded in the seas and could be caught with little effort. Any clothes they wore were woven from leaves and fibres of plants. They lived simply and I have never known harmony such as I found on that island. They had a simple faith in goodness... they worked together... one for all and all for each ... It was paradise, Ann Alice.

"There was gold there—the metal which we call precious was as plentiful as the fish in the sea and the fruit on the trees. One could see it in the streams... on the surface of the earth. One picked up handfuls of earth and there was gold. They had learned how to weld it into necklaces and bangles. They polished it and held it up to the sun. I fancy they thought the gold had captured something of the sun itself and that was why they used it to such an extent. They worshipped the sun. The life giver. They watched it rise every morning and welcomed it with joy; and they were always very solemn when they watched it disappear at night. I remember standing there on the shore with them watching the great red ball drop below the horizon. It seemed to disappear suddenly. There is no twilight. Sunset is different there from how we know it. It is hard to believe that it is the same sun. But I shall go on talking for ever about my island."

"I love to hear of it."

"I lived with them ... for how long? I really have no idea. I became almost one of them."

"Did you not want to come home ... back to your family?"

"Oddly enough I did not think of them. I seemed to be in a different world. I had forgotten my ambition to sail the seas and discover new worlds. I was contented to live their life. I fished with them; with their help I built a house for myself. I lived as they lived; and I was aware of a great contentment. It is difficult to explain. I think it had something to do with the inborn goodness of these people. I would not have believed there could be such a place in the world."

"Why did you leave it? How did you leave it?"

"At times I think there is something mystic about my experience. That is why I am reluctant to talk of it. They lived on fish and as I told you, it abounded in the seas. We spent a great deal of the days in the boats. They were primitive craft... rather like canoes. I remember the day well. The canoes held two people and we used to fish in twos. I often went with one of them whose name sounded like Wamgum. He and I were special friends. He had taught me a few words of his language and I was able to make myself understood now and then. I taught him some of my words too.

"Well Wamgum and I went out. The sun was high in the sky, blazing down on us. We had a covering of straw on our heads for protection. We did not start to fish immediately. We just paddled along and after a while allowed ourselves to drift. I remember looking back at the island, lush, green and beautiful. I sang a song of my country which always delighted them. Wamgum closed his eyes as he listened. I dozed too.

"When I awoke heavy clouds obscured the sun. It was almost dark. I awoke Wamgum in some alarm. He looked about him in dismay. The island was no longer visible. A gust of wind suddenly shook the canoe.

"Storms spring up suddenly in tropical seas. The rain started to teem down, the wind to roar. It was happening again—and this time I was in a frail canoe. We could not fight against the elements. We were overboard, clinging to the canoe. Suddenly Wamgum was no longer there. A great wave seized the canoe and broke it in half flinging it high into the air. I found myself clinging to a piece of wood. It was as it had been before. Death was close to me. I thought, This must be the end. I clung to the wood. I was able to hoist myself onto it so that I was above the water. I hung on. I was tossed and shaken and it seemed like a miracle that I was able to keep my hold on the wood.

"It could not happen again, I thought, unless I was being saved for some special purpose. This time it must be the end.

"I do not know how long I clung there. It was all happening again ... the numbness ... the consciousness slipping away ... the waiting for the sea to swallow me. I lost count of time. I did not know whether it was day or night. I could only cling to my spar and wonder whether the next gigantic wave would carry me off.

"The wind dropped suddenly. The sea was still rough but my broken piece of wood was riding the waves. The sky was bright; the sun so pitiless that I almost wished for the storm. I floated on these calm seas limp, exhausted for ... I did not know how long.

"I was picked up by a passing ship but by that time I was not sure where I was or even who I was. I remember lying in the darkness of that ship, cool drinks passing my lips. I was delirious, I think. I talked of the island.

"Gradually I began to emerge from that state. The ship's doctor came to me. He said they were bound for Rotterdam and he told me that I had come through my ordeal miraculously. Rarely could anyone have come so near to death and escaped. I was suffering from acute sunstroke, starvation and exhaustion. But I was young and strong and before the journey was completed I had completely recovered."

"What an extraordinary adventure. Suppose it hadn't happened the way it did, you would not be here now."

I looked so forlorn that he laughed. "You would never have known me so you would not have grieved for me."

"I shall never let you go on voyages without me."

"We'll go together."

"Do you still want to go, after all that happened?"

"I must go. It is my life... I feel I must go and discover new lands. Besides, I have to go back to the island."

"Could you find it?"

"It won't be easy. I talked of it to the sailors. They thought I was delirious. An island where the savages are gentle, where love and amity reign, where the fish and fruit abound to supply all their needs; where one picks up gold and uses it for cooking pots. I was indeed in delirium. And do you know, Ann Alice, there were times when I believed I might have been, that I might have imagined the whole thing. You see, I had been shipwrecked. There was no doubt of that. I was picked up by the ship and brought home. Did I live in that fantasy world when I was half-conscious in my raft? Did it exist outside my imagination?"

"But you wouldn't have been all that time on the raft?"

"The time was short. I couldn't have been more than a couple of weeks on the island. It seemed a very long time... looking back. Sunrise merging into sunset. The days seemed long. I can't be sure. Sometimes I think they are right. That is why I must go back to find that island."

"I shall come with you."

"Oh, Ann Alice, I knew you would feel as I do. I knew it the moment we met... that first day. I have made a map. I want to show you. I have placed the island where I believe it to be. I know where we had sailed. I can roughly estimate where we were when the storm struck us ... so I can't be far wrong."

"Oh yes, please show me the map."

"I will."

He put his arm round me and held me against him. Then he took my face in his hands and kissed me. We stayed thus for some minutes, our arms entwined.

Then vaguely in the distance I heard the sound of footsteps, but I wanted nothing more than to stay close to Magnus.

A voice broke in on the stillness. "I don't understand you. Why don't you do it? It's easy enough. What's happened to you? You've changed. Fallen in love with the easy life, eh? Edging out of the bargain."

It was the voice of Desmond Featherstone. It sounded harsh and angry. I had never heard that tone before. I wondered to whom he was talking. To whom could he be speaking? Only my stepmother. Surely not. I could not imagine anyone's daring to talk to her like that.

"What is it?" asked Magnus.

"I thought someone was coming. Listen."

The footsteps were dying away.

"They evidently changed their minds," said Magnus. "They have left us with this beautiful garden to ourselves."

"I think we ought to go back. I shall be missed." I sighed with reluctance. "I should like to stay here forever."

We kissed again.

"We will make plans," said Magnus. "Tomorrow I will show you the map of the island."

We went back to the house together.

So here I sit in my bedroom with my journal before me. I am so glad I started to write it. I want to capture every moment of this night and hold it forever. It is the happiest night of my life.

While I am thinking of it, though, every now and then I hear Desmond Featherstone's voice intruding. It spoils the perfection of the night. I wonder what he meant. It is there puzzling me, forcing its way into my happiness... bringing a faintly unpleasant whiff into perfection.


June 30th

Mr. James Cardew came this afternoon. It seems that I forget my journal except when something wonderful or disastrous happens. Perhaps that is as well. If I recorded everyday happenings it would become decidedly boring. As it is, when I read back I can relive the highlights—good or evil.

It is more than a month since Magnus and I revealed our love for each other. What a wonderful month! How we have talked! We have made so many plans. It was arranged that he was to stay in England for a year during which time he would study the methods which were used here. His family had thought that my brother might care to go into the Perrensen business to study their methods in exchange. And this would probably have happened if Charles had been here. My father had said that Charles would want to go when he returned home.

Magnus must stay his term here. He wants to. Much as he longs for our marriage he was completely absorbed in the making of maps and very interested in our methods. I wouldn't have wanted to disturb that for I had determined that I should never put anything in the way of his work.