Kristen Ashley - Rock Chick Revolution

Dad’s eyes moved to Lee and Hank.

Mom’s mouth got tight.

I kept speaking.

“I’m not down with that. He’s unwilling to see my point of view. So that’s done. What’s not done is the fact that Daisy is looking for office space to rent and I’ve tentatively taken her on as my receptionist.” I looked to Hank. “And you may or may not know, but Roxie has started designing a website for me.” I looked to Mom. “And Ava is mocking up logos. So it’s all a go. I’ll be sitting down with Daisy after Luke and Ava’s wedding to organize a business plan, and shortly after we’ll be actively recruiting clients.”

I took in a breath and kept going.

“I intend to get licensed eventually, and Darius is approaching Sylvie Bissenette so I can work with her and acquire the hours I need to approach the Licensing Board. Until that all takes off, I’ll continue to work at Fortnum’s with Indy.”

I threw out a hand and moved to my conclusion.

“If I’m willing to lose Ren for this, the man I love, the man who loves me, the man I fell in love with the first night we met, then I’m willing to do anything for this. In other words, you won’t talk me out of it. But because I love you all and respect you, I’ll listen to what you have to say.”

After that, I shut up.

Dad looked at Mom.

Mom only had eyes for me.

“Maybe you and me can go into the kitchen, get you a drink and have a chat,” Mom suggested gently.

This meant she wanted to ascertain just how cut up I was about ending things with Ren.

I had no intention of going there. Not until I was alone with a bottle of tequila.

“I have things to do tonight, so thanks Mom, but that’s gonna be a no,” I replied.

“I’m thinkin’ we should delay this meeting until you’re in a better state of mind, honey.” This came from Hank and it was also suggested gently.

I looked to him and saw his expression was just as gentle.

My brother was awesome. Both of them were.

Still, I shook my head. “I’m thinking we should get this over with.”

“You, Hank and me, we’re going to The Hornet,” Lee stated and I looked at him. “And I’m calling Indy.”

This meant he was worried about me and didn’t want to discuss my career path, but wanted to call in reinforcements (namely Indy) who could see to my broken heart while he and Hank paid for tequila shooters.

See?

Awesome.

“Thanks, bro, but that’s also a no,” I whispered.

“Sweetheart—” Dad started, and my eyes got instantly hot just hearing that word.

When you’re a kid and a girl, dads had superpowers. They could heal any hurt, usually with a word said just like that one. Or, if shit was extreme, if he added a hug, it would all go away.

My dad’s superpowers were finely honed.

But they didn’t extend to this kind of healing.

“No, Dad,” I whispered. I looked through my family and requested, “Can we please just get this done?”

“We’ll talk Monday,” Hank declared. “You come to Lee’s office. We’ll all be there.”

“Hank, we’re here. Why can’t we just do this now?” I asked.

“Because we’re not doing it now,” Lee said. “We’re doing it Monday. Five thirty. My office.”

I looked from one brother to the other.

Fuck.

“Fine,” I snapped. “Now I gotta go.” I looked through my brothers again and finished, “I’ll see you tomorrow at the rehearsal.”

“Ally, why don’t you stay and eat dinner with your dad and me?” Mom asked, and I looked to her.

“You’re cool with it, I’ll come over for dinner on Sunday,” I offered an alternate, which might appease her even if it would not do it totally.

At least it was something.

She looked to Dad then back at me and nodded.

“Later,” I murmured, turning and giving them a low wave.

“Allyson,” Dad called, and I sucked in breath and turned back. When I caught his eyes, he said softly, “You’re loved, sweetheart.”

I pressed my lips together and nodded, keeping my eyes to Dad because I knew I couldn’t cope with them all at once showing me Dad’s words were true through the expressions on their faces.

I then turned again and got the fuck out of there.

* * *

I clenched my teeth as I sat in my Mustang outside Ren’s house.

This was because, regardless of the fact that I texted him before I drove away from Mom and Dad’s, Ren’s Jag was at the curb.

During our Not-Really-Fuck-Buddies phase, I’d always wondered but never asked why he didn’t park in the two car garage he had out back. It was in good repair and had a kickass wooden garage door with these interesting windows at the top.

I figured it was because the front was closer and had easier access to the house since his backyard was long. Some of it was terraced so he had a boatload of steps to climb up. That wouldn’t be all that fun for lugging in groceries, even if you were a tall, strong, fit hot guy.

Then again, the front required, without fail, parallel parking, which was something I, like only three point two seven percent of the population (my estimation, not based on a study or anything), had the skills to do. Still, that didn’t mean it didn’t suck having to do it.

I was sitting there thinking I would never get an answer to this question at the same time I was thinking there was nothing for it. I had to go in, even with Ren there. I needed clothes, and my clothes were in Ren’s house. So even if he wasn’t going to be cool and let me get in and out without hassle, I had to get my meager belongings.

But before I did that, I knew I had to make a clean getaway. Therefore I had to have somewhere to get away to, and I’d made my decision on the drive there where that was going to be.

I pulled out my phone, found the contact and hit go.

On ring three, Daisy answered, “Everything good, sugar?”

“I ended things with Ren and I need a place to stay,” I announced and ignored her sharp gasp. “Can I crash with you and Marcus for a couple of days?”

Silence before she asked, “You ended things with Ren?”

My eyes got hot and my voice was husky when I requested, “Please, Daisy. Not now.”

This bought me more silence, but it lasted a lot less time before she said, “Absolutely, darlin’. I’ll go up and make sure one of our guest rooms is ready for you and I’ll be doin’ that right now.”

I so freaking loved Daisy.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

“No problem, baby,” she whispered back. “Now, you get here when you get here and we’ll sort you out.”

“Okay, Daisy.”

“See you soon, sugar.”

“Right.”

I hung up before she could keep being sweet. I didn’t have a lot left in me before I lost it, and Daisy had a lot of sweet and that would undo me. So I had to cut that off. Pronto.

I twisted his key off my ring in order to be ready, angled out of my car and hoofed it to Ren’s.

Get this done and get gone.

Done and gone.

I tried the door, found it unlocked and walked right in.

The TV was on and Ren was in jeans and a tee, lounging like the hot guy he was on the couch, watching it. But the minute I entered, his eyes turned to me.

My mouth filled with saliva.

I tore my eyes from him and made a beeline to his kitchen.

I heard the TV go off.

I didn’t take this as a good sign.

I dropped the key on his counter and moved out of the kitchen.

He caught me at the doorway. Arm hooking my waist, he shuffled me to the side and closed in so I was back to the wall and Ren was pressed to me.

I looked up at him and his face was set to sweet.

Somebody.

Please.

Kill me.

“We need to talk this through, baby,” he said in a voice set the same way.

But this time there was no way he was going to get to me through his sweet.

“We haven’t talked about much in all the time we’ve been together,” I replied. “Except this. And we never agreed. I’m thinking we never will. You’ve got a life to lead, so do I. So I also think we should get on with doing that.”

His free hand came to my jaw and I fought swallowing because I didn’t want him to get anything from me. He already had enough.

In fact, everything.

“You love someone, you compromise. We’ll find a way to compromise,” he told me.

“What you mean is, I’ll find a way to compromise,” I told him.

“Ally—”

I was losing it, so my voice was scratchy when I asked quickly, “Why are you doing this?”

His fingers flexed into my flesh and his face got closer when he answered, “Because I believe in us.”

“There is no us,” I returned.

“There’s always been an us, but I get you needed not to believe in that and why. That said, you can’t deny there’s been an us the last three days, honey.”

“That was all fantasy.”

He blinked and whispered, “What?”

“That Ren and that Ally don’t exist. That was just you and me wanting to believe we could. But we couldn’t. We fight. We don’t agree on important things. We want the same thing in different ways. We don’t work, but for those three days, we pretended we do. We can’t pretend anymore, Ren. We have to be honest, see this isn’t going anywhere and move on.”

“So you’re saying right now you’re going to get your shit and leave and not sit down and see if we can work on finding a future we both believe in?” he asked.

“What I’m saying right now is that I think all that’s been said has said it all.”

“Right, then, you’re not in a space right now where you’re up for talkin’ about this, so I’ll ask you don’t make any decisions. Stick with me, sleep beside me, and tomorrow when we’re less raw, we give each other that time.”

I shook my head. “Nothing’s going to change, Ren.”

“It won’t if you don’t give it a shot, Ally.”

I held his eyes and laid it out. “You don’t believe in me.”

His jaw got tight.

Yep.

He didn’t believe in me.

Fuck.

Again my fucking eyes got fucking hot, but again I powered right the fuck through to end this.

“Even if I could talk you around, I can’t live with a man who doesn’t believe in me. And I can’t do what I have to do out there with half a mind to wondering what you’ll think about this case or that decision or a client or how you’ll react when I come home and tell you about my day. I wouldn’t have to worry about any of that shit if you trusted me. Believed in me. But you don’t and you won’t, because you don’t want this for me, or for you, or for our future. So what is the fucking point of dragging this shit out now when it already hurts in a way that if we even gave it days, it would kill?”

He took that as an in. I knew it when he pressed deeper and his face got closer.

So I moved to end it.

“You’re not the man for me, Ren, and I’m not the woman for you. We’re done and when I say that it is not a Rock Chick done where you can be badass or cool or whatever and talk me into changing my mind. I mean that in an Ally Nightingale way, where I know what I want and I’ve found the path that leads to a future that’s exciting to me. So when I say we’re done, I mean we’re done.”

With that, I pulled away, sliding out from in front of him and walking quickly up the stairs.

I had not had time to scatter my shit to the four corners of Ren’s house.

Which was good.

It meant what I had to gather took little time.

But it didn’t matter.

Because I barely hit his bedroom before I heard the front door slamming.

When I had it all gathered, I went to the window and looked down to see the Jag was gone.

So the coast was clear.

Nevertheless, I wasted no time double checking that I had absolutely everything.

And then I got the fuck out of there.

I opened my eyes and stared at the early morning light peeking through Daisy’s curtains.

I knew I hadn’t slept long. This was because I cried most of the night.

Yes. Me.

But I did it in Daisy’s pillow so she nor Marcus would hear.

When I arrived the night before, she took one look at me and gave me space. That was, she took me to a room, asked my preference and brought me a glass and a bottle of tequila.

Then she touched my cheek and whispered, “We’ll talk in the mornin’, sugar.”