Kristen Ashley - Rock Chick Revolution

In order to communicate this to Darius, it was my turn to lean into him.

And when I did, I whispered, “You know, I totally love you.”

Something moved over his face. Something I’d seen before when he didn’t know I was watching.

Uncertainty mixed with melancholy. I didn’t totally get it. What I did get was that Darius Tucker had had a beautiful life a long time ago. A big loving family, good friends, a bright future. And all that went to shit. He made desperate—and it had to be said, angry—decisions, and his life spiraled down the toilet. In that time, I suspected he did a lot of things that seared marks onto his soul.

I just didn’t know if he was on a path to redemption or thought his future only held damnation.

That was his to know and share if he felt like it.

As for me, I’d learned over and over again, since Rosie dragged Indy into his mess (thus starting the Rock Chick Rollercoaster), good people did bad things and bad people did good things.

I just trusted God would sort it out as it needed to be.

When Darius said nothing, I assured him, “You don’t have to say it back. I know where you are. And if I didn’t, you coming here tonight and doing what you’ve done would have told me.”

To this, Darius said, “You’re a pain in the ass.”

He so totally loved me.

“Good,” I replied on a smile. “That’s what I strive to be.”

“Woman, trust me. You’re succeeding beyond your wildest dreams.”

My smile got bigger.

He took it in, shook his head, then looked back in my eyes.

“Tonight, you’re done. You wait until we look over what Brody gets. He gives you what you need, you got no reason to come back. He doesn’t, we’ll assess and plan. You down with that?”

“Totally.”

“Right,” he muttered, sliding out of the booth. “Get your ass outta here. We’ll go somewhere else and get a drink. You brief me, then I can end this day and get home.”

I followed him out, asking, “Would it be a hit to your street cred if I held your hand?”

“Pain in the ass,” he muttered as answer.

“Or hugged you?” I threw out an alternate suggestion.

“Total pain in the ass.”

I grinned.

We hit the door.

Darius pushed it open for me.

I moseyed through.

* * *

Two days later…

I hauled my ass up into Darius’s black Silverado and slammed the door. I didn’t put on my seatbelt. I leaned forward, put my elbows to the dash and drove my hands into my hair, yanking it away from my face and scrunching it at the back of my head.

Brody had found nothing.

But we’d just had a conversation with one of Darius’s informants, and he knew everything.

The vehicle rocked when Darius folded into the driver’s seat and closed his door. He didn’t hit the ignition and the cab stayed silent.

It was the dead of night and we’d just cracked Garden Girl’s case.

And what we learned sucked.

After some time, Darius broke the silence.

“Tomorrow,” he said gently, “you report this to her man and walk away.”

I sat back with a jerk, pulling my hands out of my hair and twisting to him.

“We have to do something,” I snapped.

“We don’t gotta do shit,” he returned, his words harsh but his tone still gentle.

“Darius—”

He leaned into me and hooked his hand behind my head, pulling me close.

“This guy works at an electronic store and is payin’ you by givin’ you a discount on a new flat screen TV. You do not wade into a mess like that for twenty-five percent off a flat screen TV, Ally.”

“That’s a good discount,” I shot back.

His lips curved up, but the humor didn’t reach his eyes. “You give him what he asked for and let him deal.”

“His woman is turning tricks to pay off her brother’s drug debt,” I told him something he already knew since he was the one who found the informant and he stood right by me when we both learned what had befallen Garden Girl.

“That is not your problem.”

“Someone has to tell her it’s not hers.”

“That’d be her man’s job.”

“You think her man’s gonna stick by her side, knowing she’s giving fifty dollar blowjobs?” I asked.

Darius said nothing.

That meant no.

I kept going. “Someone has to kick her brother’s ass straight into rehab”

“That’d be her job.”

“Darius—”

His hand on my head tightened. “Ally, I know his dealer. I already told you, he’s taken two digits, and he’s threatening next up is this guy’s dick. And this dealer will do that. He won’t blink. And he’ll keep sellin’ to him ‘cause he doesn’t give that first fuck this guy’s breakin’ into cars to steal stereos to feed his habit or that his sister is spreadin’ her legs to keep him trippin’. She should have never swung that deal. That’s on her. Her man’s worried about it. You found his problem; it’s on him to solve it. You give him what he needs and walk away.”

He waited for that to penetrate, and when I just sat there grinding my teeth, he kept going.

“And his dealer is all over havin’ her sweet pussy out there bringin’ in coin. You take that away, I take that away, we insert ourselves into a situation that is not ours to deal with, and we make a dangerous guy unhappy. That is not our mission. Our mission was to find out why that bitch was bein’ hinky. We found out. You report it. We’re done.

“This is fucked up,” I hissed.

“Learn now,” Darius returned. “You keep doin’ this shit, you’ll see a lot that’s fucked up. Then you’ll learn a whole new definition of fucked up, and that definition will keep changing. What you always gotta remember is that it’s not your fuck up. It’s someone else’s. You never take that shit on. You do the job and walk away.”

I clenched my teeth and slid my eyes away.

Then I looked back and asked, “Why would she do that for her brother?”

“What would you do, body parts from Lee or Hank came to you through the mail?”

I again clenched my teeth and slid my eyes away.

This was my answer, but Darius already knew it.

I’d do anything.

“There is nothing stronger and there is nothing that’ll get you as fucked up as love,” Darius finished sagely, and I looked back at him.

There was a wisdom borne of experience behind that and I wanted to know what it was.

But, again, that was his to share.

The Rock Chicks, hell, anything (and this evening’s activities proved it), I’d stick my nose in and not give up until I had it all.

Darius… I loved him enough not to go there until (hopefully) he gave it to me.

“You gonna be able to walk away?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I answered.

He studied me before pressing, “Is that yeah firm?”

He so totally knew me.

My eyes moved to the side for a second before going back to him.

“Yeah,” I whispered.

He held my gaze.

Then he nodded.

After that, he let me go and turned toward the wheel. Then he started up his truck and drove me home.

Rock Chick Rewind

Two hours later…

There was a banging on my door.

My eyes fluttered open and I focused on the clock.

It was twelve seventeen.

I smiled to myself. I’d left my Lelo in the nightstand before going to sleep. This was not because, after that night, I didn’t need some form of relaxation.

It was that I was hoping Ren would be the source of that relaxation, as these days he always was. He’d texted me earlier saying he had a late meet, but was hoping, if it didn’t go too late, that he’d come to my house and spend the night.

It was late, but as ever with Ren and me (and we both knew it), no late was too late.

I threw the covers off, got out of bed and moved out of my bedroom.

I was wearing a sexy sapphire blue nightie with deep edges of black lace.

Everyone now knew Indy’s former secret (a secret that was leaked by Indy herself during a Girls Night Out; it wasn’t me who shared, swear) and that was that she always wore sexy underwear. This was because her grandma bought her some on her sixteenth birthday and told her every woman should have that particular secret. Indy took this to heart and lived it from that day forward.

Unfortunately, seeing as he’s my brother, I also knew that Lee very much appreciated this now-not-so-secret.

As in a lot.

I couldn’t say I very much appreciated knowing this about my brother. I could say it wasn’t much of a surprise. I’d been underwear shopping with Indy, and often. She had good taste. And Lee was all man (of the Ren variety) so it wasn’t a big leap that he’d get off on something like that.

What everyone didn’t know was that because I’d known Indy since I was born (which meant I knew Grandma Ellen since I was born, and Grandma Ellen was like a grandma to me too), she gave me the same life lesson.

I just took it further. I wore sexy underwear, no exceptions, no holds barred. I had never owned a pair of granny panties from age sixteen onward.

And I never would.

I also never slept in anything unsexy unless I didn’t sleep in anything (and that was the sexiest of all).

I’d learned that Ren was turned on not only by the tactile but also the visual. He liked watching me go down on him. He liked watching me ride him. He liked watching my face as he rode me. He also liked my nighties. The look and feel.

And I knew he’d learned if he showed late at my place he was in for a treat, because over the last couple of months I’d given him a lingerie cornucopia of delights that he showed his appreciation for in a variety of righteous ways.

And tonight’s nightie was actually new. I bought it just for him.

Though I’d never tell him that.

I checked the peephole just to be certain and saw Ren again gazing down the hall. Since there was nothing there but carpeted hall and doors, I wondered what fascinated him about that.

Then wondering got in the way of opening the door and getting to Ren so I quit doing that, and I unlocked and opened the door.

He heard the locks so he was looking at me when I did.

I was lamenting the fact that when we had the chance to hook up, he usually had time to get home and change. That meant I didn’t get him in suits very often. Like now, he was wearing a lightweight white shirt, sleeves rolled up, and faded jeans.

It wasn’t a suit I could peel off him, but those everyday items of apparel looked better on him than any other man could pull off, so I wasn’t quibbling.

I tipped my head back, smiled at him, leaned in and fisted a hand in his shirt. Then I pulled him in my apartment.

He kicked the door closed as I moved into him, my hand sliding up, my mouth aiming for his.

But he surprised me by putting a hand to my waist and holding on there even as he set me slightly back. He twisted and flipped the light switch.

I blinked at the sudden brightness and caught his eyes.

Then I smiled.

Yeah. Ren was visual. Whatever he had planned, he wanted to watch. And to be able to watch, he had to see.

It was always good, but I was thinking tonight was going to be better.

I leaned in and got up on my toes.

When my mouth was almost on his, Ren’s head moved back an inch and his other hand curled firm at the side of my neck, holding me warm but steadily away from him.

What the fuck?

“Zano—”

“That night,” he said, his eyes looking into mine in a weird way that felt intense and probing. “What were you doin’ at Club?”

My head gave a little confused shake and I asked, “What?”

“That night I apologized,” he gave me more info and I, unusually belatedly, sensed the danger and my body stiffened. His hand at my waist wrapped around it to hold me to him as his fingers at my neck dug in as he kept talking. “What were you doin’ at Club?”

“Why are you asking this?” I queried.

“Why aren’t you answering?” he returned.

My brows drew together. “Because it’s none of your business.”

He ignored that and tried a different tactic.

“Were you with a man?”

“No.”

“A friend?”

“No, Zano,” I snapped. “Why does it matter?”

“’Cause you weren’t with anybody. You stayed a few minutes after I left you, took off to the bathrooms and never came back. I know. I watched for you.”