Vivian Arend - Rocky Mountain Heat

He shook his head, but she felt it. Felt his plea as clearly as if he’d spoken.

“Oh, Travis.” She pulled him against her and carefully hugged him. Just let the warmth of her body comfort him. She wasn’t looking to provide anything more than compassion, but if nothing else he needed a human touch right now.

They stood, locked together. Travis’s torso remained tense, but he dropped his forehead to her shoulder. She stroked a hand over his head, giving him the only thing she could—caring the only way possible. As if she were comforting a grieving child. Her heart hurt for his sake.

He drew a big breath and squeezed her one final time before opening his arms and stepping back. His eyes glistened with moisture, and she wiped at her own for a moment.

“You going to be okay?”

His response was somewhere between a laugh and a cry. “I always land on my feet in the end. Don’t worry about me.”

Jaxi caught his hand in his. “That’s not possible. You can’t just turn off worry.”

His confusion was clear. “I thought you didn’t want me? I thought you and Blake were together now?”

Jesus. “Don’t be a stupid ass, Travis. I don’t want you as a partner, but I do care about you as a friend. And Blake is—”

“Right here, wondering what the hell is wrong with you.”

Jaxi spun toward the door. Blake leaned against the frame, his arms crossed in front of him. Travis cursed, soft and low, and quickly dragged the clean T-shirt over his head, keeping his back hidden from Blake’s view. Jaxi winced on his behalf as the fabric hit his skin.

“Nothing happened. Jaxi was just helping me…clean a cut.”

Blake scowled. “And if I was asking about Jaxi and you, right here and now, that would be a suitable response. But I trust Jaxi too much to even have a moment’s thought that she’d be doing something wrong. I meant what the fuck is wrong with you in general? You didn’t show this morning for chores, and the few things you are responsible for around the ranch you keep messing up. Damn it, Travis, it’s time you grew up and took things more seriously. You’re not a baby who should have to be told everything that has to be done.”

He stepped into the room. Travis twisted away, the two of them traveling in opposition like predators circling each other. Travis stopped an arm’s length from the door. Jaxi moved into Blake’s path, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tucked her against his side.

“I don’t have to report to you where and what I’m doing.” Travis’s chin lifted, his words and attitude a million miles away from the broken boy she’d been comforting a few minutes ago.

“While Dad’s out of full commission, yes, you damn well do report to me. We work together as a team, and you’re not putting in the energy. Face that reality and whip your ass into shape. It’s not only the family you’re letting down, it’s yourself.”

Jaxi debated speaking up, but what could she add? Travis had screwed up. Whatever personal issues he was struggling with didn’t mean he could mess with the rest of them.

Travis rolled his eyes. “Oh, yes, sir. I promise to get right on that. The growing-up shit. You have no bloody idea—”

“You’re right. Maybe I don’t.” Blake’s volume dropped to almost a whisper. He slowed and held a hand toward Travis. “I have no idea because for a lot of years you’ve been one of the ‘little boys’ back at the house with Ma and Dad, and I just didn’t take the time to find out more. I have no idea what is going on in your life. I’m sorry for that. But I can’t be expected to know more than you tell me. Until you let me in, until you and I find some common ground other than our blood and the fact we both work this patch of land, I’m not going to understand you.”

Jaxi’s throat tightened.

Travis was frozen in place by the door, his face rigid. “So that makes it all fine? That you don’t know?”

Blake shook his head. “It makes it wrong on my side. And I’m serious about wanting to get to know you better, at whatever speed you’re comfortable with. But I’m also serious about you taking responsibility for your actions around the ranch. You don’t have to let me into your life this instant, you don’t have to share all your secrets, but don’t let us down on the job. If you need help, then ask.”

Travis stared over their shoulders at the back wall of the laundry room for a moment, his fingers crushing the ruined shirt he’d grabbed. When his gaze returned, he glanced first at Jaxi—a silent request for secrecy in the depths of his eyes. Then he nodded at Blake.

“I’ll get my shit together. Sorry I blew off work today. It won’t happen again.”

Then he was gone. Nothing more about the family, nothing about his own personal hell. Jaxi turned her face into Blake’s chest and held on to her tears by a thread. God, she ached.

He stroked her back and soothed her, lips brushing her cheek as he dusted kisses there. Light and gentle, a caress of comfort.

“I don’t know why I feel like crying so hard right now.” Jaxi forced the words out past her closed throat.

Blake’s chest moved under her as he sighed. “I know how you feel. Realizing I’ve been a shit to him for years makes me want to weep as well.”

Jaxi leaned back with a jerk. “What? You’ve been a good—”

“Good brother? Actually, no. I’ve been thinking about it since we had that argument in the barn. There’re a lot of years between me and Travis and the twins, and it’s been too easy since I moved out to concentrate on my life and only fit theirs in when it was convenient. The twins I’ve kept in touch with a little bit, but Travis? He kind of slipped under the radar, not just with me, but I think with the rest of the family as well.”

Blake pressed his lips to her forehead. Jaxi thought he might be right. Even to her, Travis was a mystery in some ways. It had been three years since they’d really spent much time together, and other than him constantly having a new woman on his arm every few weeks—yeah, all she’d seen as well was the surface persona he wanted to show.

“So, what we going to do?”

He lifted her onto the washer so their eyes were level. “We’re going to do the laundry.”

“What?” Jaxi frowned. “I meant about Travis.”

Blake squeezed her hand, then stooped to open the dryer. “It’s in his hands now. I’ll make sure I keep a little more aware of my brothers, but other than that, I can’t make him tell me anything, now can I? So let’s just move forward and hope that he chooses to do his job and at some point open up more.”

He pulled clean laundry into a basket, squatting on the floor to reach the back of the machine. Jaxi watched for a moment as she rearranged some of her expectations and worries.

Then she hopped down and hugged him right there where he was, squeezing his neck tightly.

“Now, what’s this all about?” he asked.

She kissed his cheek, then stood to deal with the basket she’d brought in with her. “You’re a good man, Blake. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Not even yourself.”

They stared at each other for a moment before turning back to the ordinary, everyday task of laundry. The pain in her heart didn’t go away, but somehow, that was just fine. She’d trust Blake. Trust that Travis would choose at some point to come back to the family.

Matt stared across the coffee-shop table at Helen. “You’re headed where?”

“Edmonton. Just until next weekend.”

He bit back his frustration. “You said you would help out at the picnic this afternoon. Going to be kinda hard to help when you’re four hours away.”

She picked at the rim of her paper cup, refusing to meet his eyes. “Well, gosh, what a shame. A community picnic. Be still my heart—I’ll miss the social event of the decade.”

“Don’t be like that.” Matt glanced at the tables around them to see if anyone had heard her snide comments.

“Don’t be what? Honest? For God’s sake, Matt, I don’t want to spend all Sunday afternoon wandering out in the sun with the smell of horses and sheep and shit. I said I wanted to spend the day with you. I didn’t think that meant I had to go country for the entire day. Again. So when the opportunity came up…”

Matt leaned back and stared out the window as he drank his coffee. His mind raced. He’d thought things had gotten better between them after the ménage, and for a few days, it seemed they had. Helen had been the most content he’d seen her in a long time.

But then she’d started making comments about how maybe they should think about moving. Only she wasn’t talking about moving in together like he’d suggested, but moving away. Getting jobs in Calgary or Edmonton.

What was a rancher supposed to do for work in the city?

He turned his gaze back to look her over carefully. All the things about her that had attracted him in the first place seemed to be changing, and he wasn’t sure quite what to do with this new Helen.

Even in the bedroom she was different, more demanding. Which was okay every once in a while, but being commanded to tie her up seemed to lose some of the spontaneity. He wanted to be involved in what they were doing, not simply servicing her requests.

But ordering her around was a lost cause. He didn’t want to be one of those asshole boyfriends who assumed he could control her entire life.

“How you getting there?” Since it seemed she was determined to go.

“Darrel Aften is driving out. I’m hitching a ride with him. He’s going to his cousin’s. Dora and I go way back.”

Matt swallowed the words wanting to burst out. Yeah, those two went way back. Dora was one of their high school classmates who’d been on a bus out of Rocky before the ink was dry on their diplomas.

Helen leaned forward, all excited to tell him about the things she planned on doing while away. Matt listened with only half an ear. Keeping a smile on his face took more effort than he thought possible.

Fine. She’d go away. When she got back they were going to have a serious discussion about the future, because this relationship wasn’t growing the way he wanted. He wasn’t giving up on them, but for two people who’d spent so many years and so much time together, the paths they were walking seemed to be veering part.

It would be a fucking shame if he couldn’t pull them back together.

The children led Jaxi through the maze, a dark bandana covering her eyes. The little fingers tugging her along were sticky from the picnic dinner, giggles rising as they guided her around obstacles toward the finish line. Suddenly there was an extra loud burst of laughter, and Jaxi smiled in amusement.

The past weeks had been better than anything she’d ever expected. Her work around the house had flown while at every possible opportunity Blake found time to romance her. Not only dinner, but dancing and horseback riding. Long walks in the fields where he’d teased to try and find out more about her schooling over the past years. She’d told him a bit, but there were a few things she thought better shown than told. She’d even suggested a game of pool at one point just to see his reaction…

“You ain’t going anywhere near the pool hall for a good long time, Slick. My heart can’t handle any more games right now.”

Jaxi opened her eyes wide. “But you promised we could—”

He’d covered her mouth with a finger, followed by his lips, kissing her into oblivion.

And that’s about all they’d done in the physical department. Held hands, snuggled on the couch watching movies. Kissed. It was a step backward, taking it sweet instead of sexy. She missed his touch, his intimate caresses, but she had to admit there was something intoxicating in seeing his eyes clouded with lust when she turned from washing dishes or doing chores and have him simply give her a gentle kiss. She knew no matter what clothes she wore, he found her attractive.

That he wanted her, but wanted to be with her more, shook her to the core.

A tug on her hand brought her back to the present and the picnic.

“Miss Jaxi? You gotta hold this now, okay? We’ll lead you with the rope.”

She smiled at the sweet sound of the child’s voice. “Are we almost through the maze? I need to serve coffee and dessert soon, you remember.”

The chorus around her all assured her she was nearly at the end, so she grabbed the section of rope they pressed into her palm.

More giggles and a few shhh noises rose before another tug led her forward. She inched ahead with careful steps, trusting the little ones to do their best, but knowing they might miss a gopher hole underfoot.