The desire to scoop Vicki into his arms and teach her how to relax grew by the minute, but Joel needed to keep this under control. No matter how much her bossy attitude turned him on. “Fine. Let’s teach you to like horses.”
Her eyes widened. “Seriously?”
He caught hold of her wrists to stop her from rebounding away from him. “First off, you need to slow down. If you want, we can go over to the barns—”
She froze, face going white. “Shit.”
Panic setting in already? He rocked forward to reassure her. “Don’t worry. I’m not planning on throwing you up on one right off the bat.”
She shook her head. “It’s just…” She twisted away and stomped along the top of the lookout, curses rising the entire time she paced. Joel hid his smile at a few of the racier terms. Not often he heard that kind of language from the ladies—although he’d been impressed with how raunchy his sister-in-law Jaxi could get.
Vicki had a far more extensive vocabulary.
She pivoted on the spot and glared. “Here’s the issue. If I start showing up at the ranch, people are going to notice. Either we tell them what we’re doing, which doesn’t work to keep Karen in the dark, or we tell them something else.”
He shrugged. “Not like we have to tell them anything, really.”
“They’re going to assume we’re seeing each other.”
Oh hell. She was right.
The initial dismay that struck faded far too quickly. Only two days earlier Jesse’s suggestion he had the hots for the woman had made him squirm.
Why wasn’t he nearly so upset with the idea anymore?
He kept their gazes locked together, refusing to look her over, no matter how much he wanted to. “So what?”
“So…it’s not true. We’re not dating. I’m not going out with you, because if I did, people will then assume I’m also fooling around with Jesse. I’m not a slut.”
He could have sworn his jaw hit his chest. He’d never expected to hear those words pop out of her mouth. “I never said you were.”
Her chin rose a fraction of an inch. “Plenty of others have said it.”
She was right about that.
His brain whirled with ideas. He wasn’t sure why this woman had gotten under his skin, but damn if he didn’t suddenly want to toss everything to the side and help Vicki make a change. He had a feeling an even break wasn’t something that came her way very often.
No matter how much trouble it was, he made a decision. He was in. One hundred percent. If the town rebel wanted to clean up her act, he was game.
“You’re planning on moving out of town, if all this works out?” Joel asked.
Vicki nodded.
“If I promise there will be no games with Jesse involved, will you go out with me?”
Her righteous anger blurred into confusion. “Go out—? Joel, I want to learn to ride.”
He tried, he really tried, but he couldn’t stop his lips from twitching, even though he buried the full-out grin.
She swung a fist into her thigh hard enough it had to hurt. “A horse, you ass. Yes, I know the goddamn song, but I want to ride a horse without freaking out.”
“And I promise we’ll work at that as well. But maybe diving in at the deep end would help deal with the idiots. I’m not saying I won’t try to help if you don’t date me. But if you and I are hanging out together for a long, steady time, that could go a long way to killing some of the…”
Shit. How much did he want to admit about the talk of the town?
“The rumours how the Hansol girls are loose and easy? You don’t have to try to protect me, Joel.” She glared up into the tree where the leaves were slowly changing colour. “I’ve heard pretty much everything you could repeat. Hell, Eric Tell doesn’t even feel the need to temper his talk during full daylight in public places.”
“Yeah, but he’s an asshole.”
She snorted. “No arguments there.”
Joel reached for her hand. “We could do this. We can make sure it’s crystal clear it’s just you and me involved, and frankly…”
He trickled to a stop. Vicki’s body language was all tied up tight, and she wasn’t giving an inch yet. She’d been honest with him about her fears? Maybe she needed a little reciprocated honesty.
“In a way, you’d be doing me a favour. You know that reputation you’re worried about? Jesse’s and mine?”
Lord, the faces this woman could pull.
“If you two were women you’d have been painted as harlots ages ago. Instead you’re held up as sexual heroes.”
“I know, it’s damn unfair, but honestly I’m getting tired of it. It’s time to get this town to see me and Jesse in a different light, and you and I dating would help a lot.”
Vicki stepped back a pace, freeing her hand, her alert gaze looking him over. “And Jesse’s going to simply agree with you? Because if he fucks around, it won’t help either of our situations.”
“I’ll take care of Jesse.” Confidence was rising. “Not a problem.”
“And you’ll help me get over being afraid of horses?”
“I’ll give it a shot.”
Vicki stared out over the water for a minute. “We’re both crazy, but it might work. You’re right. I shouldn’t give a damn what the town thinks, especially if I’m leaving, but I still do. I want what I shouldn’t bother wanting.”
“You’re not your family. You’ve got every right to change the things you don’t like about your life.”
God, listen to him. He was still finding his own way and now he was giving out advice?
When she turned, some of the bounce was back, a touch of the anger, but now, something else as well. He waited for her to share whatever was going on in that intriguing mind.
Vicki stepped in close.
“You’re right. It’s time to get moving forward with my life. So what do I want?” She took a deep breath as if gathering her courage. Then she held up one finger. “I want you to teach me to deal with the bloody horses.”
Joel grinned as he dipped his head in acknowledgement.
A second finger rose. “I want people to stop talking about me like everything my family does is etched on my back simply because we share a name. If you’re brave enough to try and help me fight that bullshit, I’d be damn grateful.”
“Deal.” A trickle of pride in doing something honourable—doing something that could make a difference in a person’s life—struck again. Even though he’d get some benefit down the road, it was going to take some energy to accomplish this.
He was ready for the challenge.
Then she caught hold of his shirt and leaned in. “And just so you know, that girlfriend thing? I’ve never been anyone’s girlfriend before.”
Both her actions and her words made something inside tighten as he fought to understand. “You’ve never had a steady boyfriend?”
She moved in close enough their lips were nearly touching as she whispered the words. “I’ve never had a boyfriend, period. I want to learn all there is about being a girlfriend, Joel. Everything. And I want you to teach me.”
Chapter Four
Joel’s brain wasn’t working properly. Even skimming through what he knew, her words didn’t make sense. “Vicki…”
She released him and backed up. “Great, I did that well, didn’t I?”
He grabbed her wrist before she could run away. “Would you slow the hell down? And explain a little better? I’m just…what do you mean no boyfriends?”
Vicki heaved out a huge body-shaking sigh. “Okay, I did have one boyfriend. Back in fifth grade, Danny Webster gave me a Valentine’s card that said ‘Will you be mine?’ For three days straight we sat on the swings during lunch and talked. I figured he was working his way up to stealing a kiss by Friday or something. Only my older sister Sarah got in trouble, and Danny’s parents said I wasn’t a nice girl to spend time with, so he dumped me the following day.”
Grade five? She was going back to grade five to find a guy she’d been interested in? He was sure there’d been another huge blow-up just a couple years ago.
“But you went out with Eric Tell in high school.”
Her lips pressed together into a tight line. “Now we’re back to secrets, and I’m not ready to share that one. I know from watching people what a girlfriend does, yet I’ve never done it, okay? And before I get the hell out of this godforsaken town I want to experience them at least once. The little things. And the big things.”
She caught his gaze, the dark honey gold in her brown eyes seeming brighter than ever. “I’m trusting you with a lot, Joel Coleman. Please don’t let me down by talking out of turn.”
Then as if she couldn’t maintain eye contact, she stared at his fingers. He wasn’t sure when he’d begun to rub his thumb over the inside of her wrist. It had started without thinking, her soft skin drawing him. He’d love to take that stroking touch and slip up to the inside of her elbow, teasing her along the way with delicate kisses.
“I can keep a secret,” he reassured her. Being her boyfriend wasn’t going to be a sacrifice at all, but holy shit— “Little things like…?”
“I’ve never held hands with a guy,” Vicki whispered, trying to tug her hand free. “I’ve never been kissed.”
Sweet mercy. Joel’s pulse picked up. “And the big things?”
He had a good idea by now, no matter how impossible it seemed.
Vicki lowered her chin and looked him in the eye as she spoke. “I’m a virgin. In everything. So if you’re up for the challenge, go ahead, teach me to ride.”
The response of “you’re fucking kidding me” wasn’t the right one, but damn, he’d never been so tongue-tied in his life. Her wrist slipped from his fingers, and she moved away, staring down the ravine at the creek.
Silence stretched between them, different this time than before. It wasn’t him patiently waiting for her to gather her courage. This time there was anticipation along with the discomfort.
The discussion had totally not gone where he’d expected, and all his images of being a knight in shining armor and helping her redeem her name were buried under a sea of holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck…
Her being a virgin was impossible, and yet why would she lie? And she wasn’t lying, not that he could tell.
“I’m trying to absorb this, okay?” Joel spoke softly, like he would around skittish horses—ironic, that. He didn’t want to scare her off, but he needed time to process the information. “I’m totally going to work with you on the horse thing, and dealing with your fears will require us to at least pretend to date each other. All of that, I’m good with. I’ll do it.”
He stood and walked to her side. Vicki had crossed her arms over her chest and she wasn’t bouncing anymore. Just standing, motionless.
It was awkward, towering over her. He shifted uneasily on his feet before pulling her back toward the bench. “Sit, I want to ask you something.”
She went willingly enough, curling up on one side of the sturdy bench and drawing her legs to her chest. She wrapped her arms around them and rested her chin on her knees. “I kind of blew your mind, didn’t I?”
He nodded. “I won’t push for the secrets right now, but…holy shit, yeah. I want to ask you something.”
She lifted her head and waited.
“Why me?”
A crease folded between her eyes. “Why you, what?”
Joel shrugged. “I promise to help you no matter what, so it’s not like we have to fool around to make this work. If you’ve gone this long without having sex, why do you think you have to change things up now?”
“Because you don’t want to have sex with me?”
Oh God. He beat down the images flashing into his brain. “Because most women I know want sex to be something special. Especially their first time.”
Her mouth twisted into this teasing grin. “You saying you suck in the sack, Joel? That’s not what I’d heard.”
“You’re not making this any easier,” he complained.
“Look, if it’s too freaky to consider then, whatever. But sex is sex. I have my own reasons for not having had it until now, but…”
She turned those bright eyes his direction, and something inside just about melted. Whether it was from how hot she made him or her total lack of self-consciousness, he understood a little better what a deer felt like when the headlights hit them.
Vicki squirmed closer. “You’ve always been on my radar, although I never did anything about it, both because of my family and the you and Jesse thing. But honestly, if there’s anyone in this town I want to get intimate with, it’s you. So why don’t you think about it for a while and get back to me.”
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