Danielle Steel - Rogue

“No, we don't.” And then she had a thought. “Maybe Blake would lend us his boat. It would be perfect for a honeymoon.” Charles frowned as she said it.

“I don't want to spend my honeymoon on your ex-husband's boat,” he said firmly, “no matter how big it is. You're my wife now, not his.” He had been jealous of Blake from the first, and Maxine backed off immediately.

“I'm sorry. That was stupid of me.”

“Maybe Venice,” he said dreamily. He had always loved it. She didn't suggest that they borrow Blake's palazzo there. Charles had obviously forgotten that he had one.

“Or Paris. That might be romantic.” It was one of the few cities where Blake didn't have a house.

“We'll figure it out. We have until June to make plans.” He wanted to get her an engagement ring too, and he wanted her to help pick it out. But now she couldn't wear it till June, since they wouldn't tell the children until then. He was sorry about that. But it would be August before they knew it, he realized. In six months, she would be Mrs. Charles West. He loved it. And so did she. Maxine West. It had a nice sound.

They sat and whispered and made plans. They agreed that he would sell his apartment and move in with her. Given his small apartment and the size of her family, it was the only arrangement that made sense. After they talked, she wished they could make love, but they couldn't. Sam was in her bed, sound asleep. She agreed to go to his apartment the following night, “to seal the deal” as he said. They could both hardly wait now until they could spend the whole night together, and get up in the morning under one roof. And she would have everyone she loved in one place. It sounded great to her too.

They kissed for a long time before he left. He was tender and loving and kind. And as he got into the elevator, he whispered to her, “Goodnight, Mrs. West.” She beamed at him, and whispered, “I love you,” to him. And as she locked the door and walked to her bedroom, she turned it around in her mind. It wasn't at all what she had expected, but now that they had decided, it sounded like a wonderful plan to her too. She just hoped the kids would take the news well. She was glad Charles had agreed to wait. She loved the whole idea. He was the kind of man she should have married in the beginning. But if she had, she wouldn't have the great kids she did. So in the end, everything had worked out right. And she had Charles now. That was all that mattered.

Although Charles and Maxine didn't tell the children their plans and kept them private for the moment, having made them between themselves changed everything subtly anyway. Charles suddenly had a proprietary air about him whenever he was around Maxine or the kids, and Daphne was quick to pick it up.

“Who does he think he is?” she complained one day when he had told Jack to take off his cleats and change his shirt before they went out to dinner. Maxine had noticed it too, but she was pleased that Charles was trying to fit in and take his place, even if awkwardly. She knew his intentions were good. Being stepfather to three children was a big leap for him.

“He means well,” Maxine said to Daphne, excusing him far more easily than her daughter was willing to.

“No, he doesn't. He's just bossy. Dad would never say that. He wouldn't care what Jack wears out to dinner, or if he wore his cleats to bed.”

“Maybe that's not such a good thing,” Maxine suggested. “Maybe we need a little more order around here.” Charles was very proper, and liked everything neat and in control. It was one of the things they had in common. Blake was the opposite extreme.

“What is this? A Hitler Youth Camp?” Daphne snapped at her and stormed off. It made Maxine glad they had waited to announce their engagement and marriage the following summer. The children weren't ready to hear it yet. She was hoping that in the coming months, they would accept it a little more each day.

March was a busy month for Maxine. She attended two conferences at opposite ends of the country, one in San Diego on the effects of national traumatic events on children under twelve, where she was the main speaker. And another on suicidality in adolescents, in Washington, D.C. Maxine was part of a panel that opened the conference, and she gave a separate lecture of her own on the second day of the event. And then she had to rush home to New York for spring break with her kids. She had hoped to convince Blake to see them during their spring vacation, but he said he was in Morocco, working on the house, up to his ears in construction and plans, and too busy to take a break. It was disappointing for her children and stressful for her to take a week off with them. Thelma handled her patients for her when she did.

Maxine took her children skiing in New Hampshire for a week during their break. And unfortunately, Charles couldn't get away. He was busy with his practice, so Maxine went to New Hampshire with her children, and a friend for each, and they had a ball. When she told Charles what she was doing, he confessed to being enormously relieved that he was too busy to join them. Six children were far too many for his nerves. Three already seemed like a lot to him. Six sounded insane. Maxine loved it, and called him from New

Hampshire with reports several times a day. And the day after they returned, she left for the conference in Washington, D.C. Charles came down to visit her for one night, and they finally met in her bed at midnight. It had been a very busy week.

It ruffled his feathers a little when she was so busy, but in theory he understood. She was a woman with a demanding medical practice, and three young kids, who were hers to bring up on her own, with no help or guidance from Blake. She couldn't even reach him most of the time, no longer tried, and made every decision on her own.

Blake was wrapped up in his latest house adventure, and his life of “fun,” while she worked her tail off, and took care of their kids. The only one who helped her was Zelda, no one else ever did. Maxine felt eternally grateful and in her debt. Neither Charles nor Blake had any concept of what it took to keep her life running smoothly and her kids attended to and in good shape. Charles's occasional suggestion that she take a month off, to relax and plan the wedding, only made her laugh. What? How? When? No way. She was swamped, and Blake was back to being the invisible man to their kids. He had been adorable with them in Aspen. But he had no plans to see them again before July or August. It was going to be a long time for them to wait, with everything on Maxine's shoulders until then.

And as spring and warm weather came, she saw more and more kids in crisis. Her sicker patients always responded negatively to spring and fall, particularly March, April, May, June, and September. In spring, all the people suffering from winter doldrums began to feel better. The weather was warmer, the sun came out, flowers bloomed, joy was in the air, and the truly sick ones felt more hopeless than ever. They were left like rocks on the beach when the tide went out, and they stuck out in their darkness, misery, and despair. It was a dangerous time for suicidal kids.

Much to her chagrin and despite all her efforts, two of her patients committed suicide in March, and a third one in April. It was a terrible time for her, and Thelma lost one of her patients too, an eighteenyear-old boy she had worked with for four years, and she was heartbroken for the family, and missed the boy herself. September was also an equally dangerous month, and statistically prime time for suicides in adolescent boys.

Thelma and Maxine commiserated about their lost patients over lunch, and Maxine shared the news of her secret engagement with her. It cheered them both, and was a sign of hope in their world.

“Wow! That is big news!” Thelma said, looking thrilled for her. It was a far happier topic than the reason they had lunch. “How do you think your kids will react?” Maxine had told her they weren't telling them till June, and the wedding was planned for August.

“I'm hoping they'll be ready to hear it by then. June is only two months away, but they seem to be adjusting to Charles little by little. Basically, they like the way things have been, having me to themselves, with no man around to share me with, or interfere.” Maxine looked worried as she said it, and Thelma smiled.

“That makes them nice, well-adjusted, normal kids. It's a sweet deal for them having you alone, with no man for them to compete with for your attention.”

“I think Charles will be a great addition to our family. He's just the kind of man we always needed,” Maxine said, sounding hopeful.

“That will make it even harder for them,” Thelma said wisely. “If he were a jerk, they could dismiss him, and so would you. Instead, he's a reasonable candidate and a solid citizen. That'll make him Public Enemy Number One, as far as they're concerned, for a while anyway. Fasten your seat belt, Max, something tells me you may hit some turbulence when you tell them. But they'll get over it. I'm really happy for you,” Thelma said with a broad grin.

“Thanks, me too.” Maxine smiled back at her, still nervous about her kids. “And I think you're right about the turbulence. I'm not looking forward to it, so we put off telling them as long as we could.” But June was just around the corner, only two months away. And Maxine was getting anxious about the big announcement. For the moment, it made their wedding plans a little tense, and somewhat bittersweet. And a little bit unreal, until they told the kids.

She and Charles went to Cartier and picked out a ring in April. They had it sized, and Charles gave it to her formally over dinner, but they both knew she couldn't wear it yet. She kept it in a locked drawer of her desk at home, and took it out to look at it and try it on every night. She loved it. It was beautiful, and the stone sparkled unbelievably. She could hardly wait to wear it. Getting the ring made their plans feel more real. And she had already reserved the date for the caterer in Southampton in August. Their wedding was only four months away. And she wanted to look for a dress. She wanted to tell Blake too, and her parents, but not until after they told the kids. She felt she owed them that.

She, Charles, and the children spent the Easter weekend in Southampton, and had a very nice time. Maxine and Charles whispered about their wedding plans at night, giggling like two kids, and took romantic walks on the beach hand in hand while Daphne rolled her eyes. It was May when Maxine had an unexpectedly serious talk with Zellie. She'd had a bad day. A friend of hers had died in an accident , and for the first time ever, she talked mournfully about her regrets about never having had children of her own. Maxine was sympathetic and figured it would pass. It had just been a very bad day.

“It's not too late,” Maxine said, trying to cheer her up. “You could still meet someone and have a baby.” It was getting late, but it was not over for her yet. “Women have babies a lot later than they used to, with a little help.” She and Charles had talked about it too, and Maxine would have liked that, but Charles felt her three were enough. He felt too old to have his own, which Maxine thought was too bad. She would have loved to have another baby, if he'd been willing. But he wasn't.

“I think I'd rather adopt,” Zelda said practically. “I've been taking care of other people's kids all my life. I don't have a problem with that. I love them like my own.” She smiled, and Maxine hugged her. She knew that was true. “Maybe I should look into adoption sometime,” Zelda continued vaguely, and Maxine nodded. It was one of those things people say to make themselves feel better, but don't necessarily mean. Maxine was fairly certain it was that.

Zelda knew nothing of Maxine's upcoming marriage. But they were planning to tell the children in three weeks when they got out of school. Maxine was apprehensive about it, but excited too. It was time to share their big news with them. Zelda didn't mention the idea of adoption again, and Maxine forgot about it. She assumed Zelda had too.

It was the last day of school, in early June, when Maxine got a call from the school. She was sure it was just a routine call of some kind. The kids were due home in an hour, and she was seeing patients at her office. The call was about Sam. He had been hit by a car when he was crossing the street to get to his car pool. He had been taken to

New York Hospital by ambulance. One of the teachers had gone with him.

“Oh my God, is he all right?” How all right could he be, if they'd taken him away by ambulance? Maxine was panicked.