Her hands were clenched on her stomach under his forearm. Her eyes were closed.

“Do you feel that, Tatia?”

She moaned.

Alexander stroked her up and down and then in small circles. “You feel unbelievable . . .” he whispered.

Her hands clenched tighter.

He rubbed her a little firmer. “Want me to stop?” He groaned slightly.

“No!”

“Tania, do you feel me against your hip?”

“Hmm. I thought that was your rifle.”

His hot breath was in her neck. “Whatever you want to call it is fine with me.” He bent over her and sucked her nipples as he rubbed her and rubbed against her—

In circles, in circles—

As she moaned and moaned—

And—

He pulled his fingers away and his mouth away and himself away.

“No, no, no. Don’t stop,” Tatiana murmured in a panic, opening her eyes. In the palpitating tension of her flesh she had begun to feel combustion, and when he stopped, she started to quiver so uncontrollably that Alexander lay on top of her briefly to calm her, pressing his forehead to her forehead. “Shh. It’s all right.” He paused for a second and got off her. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

Unsteadily, Tatiana said, “I don’t know. What else have you got?”

He nodded. “All right, then.” He pulled off his shorts and knelt in front of her.

When Tatiana saw him, she sat straight up. “Oh, my God, Alexander,” she muttered incredulously, backing away.

“It’s all right,” he said, smiling from ear to ear. “Where are you going?” His hands held on to her legs.

“No,” she said, shaking her head, staring at him in astonishment. “No, no. Please.”

“Somehow, and in His infinite wisdom,” Alexander said, “God has ensured that it all works the way it’s supposed to.”

“Shura, it can’t be possible. It’ll never—”

“Trust me,” Alexander said, staring at her with lust. “It will.”

He lay her down flat, and said, “I cannot wait a second longer. Not another second. I need to be inside you right now.”

“Oh, God. No, Shura.”

“Yes, Tania, yes. Say that to me. Yes, Shura.”

“Oh, God. Yes, Shura.”

Alexander climbed on top of her, supporting himself on his arms. “Tania,” he whispered passionately, “you are naked and underneath me!” As if he could not believe it himself.

“Alexander,” she said, still trembling, “you are naked and above me.” She felt him rubbing against her.

They kissed. “I can’t believe it,” he said, his breath shallow. “I didn’t think this day would ever come.” He paused and then whispered, “Yet I couldn’t imagine my life without it. You alive, under me. Tania, touch me. Put your hands on me.”

Instantly she reached down and took hold of him.

“Do you feel how hard I am,” he whispered, “. . . for you?”

“God, yes,” she said in crazed disbelief. Seeing him was a profound shock to her. Feeling him was entirely too much. “It’s impossible,” she muttered, stroking him gently. “You will kill me.”

“Yes,” Alexander said. “Let me. Open your legs.”

She did.

“No, wider.” Alexander kissed her and whispered, “Open yourself for me, Tania. Go ahead . . . open for me.”

Tatiana did. She continued to stroke him.

“Now, are you ready?”

“No.”

“You are, you are ready. Let go of me.” He smiled. “Hold on to my neck. Hold on tight.”

Slowly Alexander pushed himself inside her, little by little, little by little. Tatiana grasped at his arms, at the blanket, at his back, at the grass above her head. “Wait, wait, please . . .” He waited as best he could. Tatiana felt as she had imagined she would — that she was being torn open. But something else, too.

An intemperate hunger for Alexander.

“All right,” he said at last. “I’m inside you.” He kissed her and breathed deeply out. “I’m inside you, Tatiasha.”

Softly she moaned, her hands around his neck. “Are you really inside me?”

“Yes.” He pulled up slightly. “Feel.”

She felt. “I can’t believe you . . . fit.”

Smiling, Alexander whispered, “Only just, but yes.” He kissed her lips. Took a breath. Left his lips on her. “As if God Himself joined our flesh . . .” He took another breath. “. . . Me and you together, and said, they shall be one.”

Tatiana lay very still. Alexander was very still, his lips pressed against her forehead. Was there more? Tatiana’s body was aching. There was no relief. Her hands went around to hold him a little closer. She looked up into his flushed face. “Is that it? Is that all there is to it?”

Alexander paused a moment. “Not quite.” He inhaled her breath. “I’m just — Tania, we’ve been so desperately longing for this . . .” he whispered into her mouth, “and the moment will never come again.” He gazed into her face. “I don’t want to let it go.”

“All right,” she whispered back. She was throbbing. She tilted her hips up to him.

Another moment.

“Ready?” He pulled slowly and slightly out and pushed himself back in. Tatiana gritted her teeth, but through the gritted teeth a moan escaped.

“Wait, wait,” she said.

Slowly he pulled halfway out and pushed himself back in.

“Wait . . .”

Alexander pulled all the way out and pushed himself all the way in, and Tatiana, astounded, nearly screamed, but she was too afraid he would stop if he thought she was in pain. She heard him groan, and less slowly he pulled all the way out and pushed himself all the way in. Moaning, she gripped his arms.

“Oh, Shura.” She was unable to breathe.

“I know. Just hold on to me.”

Less slowly. Less gently.

Tatiana was feverish from the pain, from the flame.

“Am I hurting you?”

Tatiana paused, dizzy and lost. “No.”

“I’m going as slow as I can.”

“Oh, Shura.” Breath, breath, where is my breath . . .

Short panting pause. “Tania . . . God, I’m done for, aren’t I?” Alexander whispered hotly. “Done for, forever.”

Less, less gently.

Speechlessly Tatiana clung to him, her mouth open in a mute scream.

“You want me to stop?”

“No.”

Alexander stopped. “Wait,” he said, shaking his head against her cheek. “Hang on tight,” he whispered. He was still for another moment.

Through his parted lips he breathed, “Oh, Tania . . .” and suddenly he thrust in and out of her so hard and so fast that Tatiana thought she was going to pass out, crying in tumult and pain and gripping his head buried in her neck.

A breathless moment.

And another.

And another.

The heart was wild, and the throat was parched, and the lips were wet, and breath was slowly coming back, and sound, and sensation, and smell.

And her eyes were open.

Blink.

Alexander pulsed to a gradual stop, took a deep relieved breath, and lay on top of her for a few panting minutes.

Her hands continued to grip him.

A bittersweet tingle remained where he had just been. Tatiana felt regret; she wanted him inside her again; it had felt so excessive and absolute.

Lifting himself off her, Alexander blew on her wet forehead and chest. “Are you all right? I hurt you?” he whispered, tenderly kissing her freckles. “Tania, honey, tell me you’re all right.”

She couldn’t answer him. His lips on her face were too warm.

“I’m fine,” Tatiana finally replied, smiling shyly, holding him to her. “Are you all right?”

Alexander lay down by her side. “I’m fantastic,” he said, his fingers running down the length of her body from her face to her shins and slowly back up again. “I have never been better.” His shining smile was so full of happiness that Tatiana wanted to cry. She pressed her face against his face. They didn’t speak.

His hand stopped moving and rested on Tatiana’s hip. “You were surprisingly more quiet than I had anticipated,” he said.

“Mmm, I was trying not to faint,” Tatiana said, making him laugh.

“I thought you might be.”

She turned on her side to him. “Shura, was it . . . ?”

Alexander kissed her eyes. “Tania,” he whispered, “to be inside you, to come inside you . . . it was magic. You know it was.”

“What did you think it was going to be like?” she asked, nudging him.

“This was better than anything my pathetic imagination could conjure up.”

“Have you been imagining this?”

“You could say that.” He held her to him. “Forget me. Tell me — what did you expect?” He grinned, kissed her, and laughed with delight. “No, I’m going to burst,” he said. “Tell me everything.” Huskily he added, “Have you been imagining this?”

“No,” she said, nudging him again. Certainly not this. Her fingers floated down from Alexander’s throat to his stomach. All she wanted was permission to touch him again. “Why are you looking at me like that? What do you want to know?”

“What were you expecting?”

Tatiana thought about it. “I really don’t know.”

“Come on, you must have been expecting something.”

“Mmm. Not this.”

“What then?”

Tatiana was quite embarrassed and wished Alexander wouldn’t look at her with such mouthwatering adoration. “I had a brother, Shura,” she said. “I knew what you all looked like. Sort of quiet . . . and down . . . and very . . . hmm . . .” Tatiana searched for a proper word. “Unalarming.”

Alexander burst out laughing.

“But I’ve never seen one . . .”

“That was alarming?”

“Hmm.” Why was he laughing like that?

“What else?”

Tatiana paused. “I guess I thought this unalarming thing would . . . I don’t know . . . quietly sort of . . .” She coughed once. “Let’s just say the movement was also quite a surprise to me.”

Alexander grabbed her, kissing her happily. “You’re the funniest girl. What am I going to do with you?”

Tatiana lay quietly facing him, the aching inside her thoroughly unsubsided. She was fascinated with his body. Her fingers lightly stroked his stomach. “So what now?” She paused. “Are we . . . done?”

“Do you want to be done?”

“No,” she said at once.

“Tatiana,” Alexander said, his voice filled with emotion, “I love you.”

She closed her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Don’t give me that,” he said, lifting her face to him. “I have never heard you say it to me.”

That couldn’t be true, thought Tatiana. I’ve felt it every minute of every day since we met. Spilling over — “I love you, Alexander.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, gazing at her. “Tell me again.”

“I love you.” She hugged him. “I love you breathlessly, my amazing man.” With affection she smiled into his face. “But you know, I have never heard you say it to me either.”

“Yes, you did, Tatiana,” said Alexander. “You heard me say it to you.”

A moment passed.

She didn’t speak, or breathe, or blink.

“You know how I know?” he whispered.

“How?” she mouthed inaudibly.

“Because you got up off that sled . . .”

Another mute moment passed.

The second time they made love, it hurt less.

The third time Tatiana experienced a floating, incandescent moment of such pain-infused exquisite pleasure that it caught even her by surprise. She cried out.

Crying out, she moaned, “God, don’t stop. Please . . .”

“No?” Alexander said, and stopped.

“What are you doing?” she said, opening her eyes, parting her lips, looking up at him. “I said don’t stop.”

“I want to hear you moan again,” he murmured. “I want to hear you moan for me not to stop.”

“Please . . .” she whispered, milling her hips against him, her hands around his neck.

“No, Shura, no? Or yes, Shura, yes?”

“Yes, Shura, yes.” Tatiana closed her eyes, “I beg you . . . don’t stop.”

Alexander moved in and out of her deeper and slower. She cried out.

“Like this?”

She couldn’t speak.

“Or . . .”

Faster and faster. She cried out.

“Like this?”

She couldn’t speak.

“Tania . . . is it so good?”

“It’s so good.”

“How do you want it?”

“Any which way.” Her tense hands clenched around him.

“Moan for me, Tania,” Alexander whispered, changing his rhythm and his speed. “Go ahead . . . moan for me.”

Alexander didn’t have to ask twice.

“Don’t stop, Shura . . .” she said helplessly.

“I won’t stop, Tania.”

He didn’t stop, and there it was — finally Tatiana felt her entire body stiffen and explode in a convulsive burn, then a lava melt. It was some time before she was able to stop moaning and quivering against Alexander. “What was that?” she uttered at last, still panting.

“That was my Tania discovering what is so fantastic about making love. That was . . . relief,” he whispered, pressing his cheek to her cheek.