“It is a matter for you to decide.”

“I know what you’d do. You’d break it off. You’re strong. I admire you. You left your husband and they would all say that was social suicide. But you don’t care about that, do you?”

“I don’t seek to go into society.”

“Prince Albert wouldn’t receive you. He’s very straitlaced.”

“I can well do without Prince Albert’s company. I do not want to be received by anyone. I am comfortable here. I am quite ready to leave everything as it is until I find out what I can do.”

She looked at me with sparkling eyes.

“I thought it was wonderful the way you went into that hospital.”

“Wonderful! It was horrible.”

“I know. But to go in and get that girl out. It was magnificent. So I thought you were the one whom I should ask.”

“My dear Miss Marlington, you are the only one who can decide on that.”

“But if it were you, would you go ahead and marry him?”

I closed my eyes. Those memories persisted. This man who was so much older than herself, how did she know what he would expect other? She was not in love with him. That much was clear; and fears had come to her. I remembered the dream I had had on the night before my wedding.

Had that been a warning? I had not recognized it as such. But this girl was being more clearly warned.

I said: “You are not in love with him. If you were, you would want to marry him.”

“So you think I should break it off’ ” How can I advise you? It is for you to decide. “

“But if you were in my place, what would you do?”

I did not answer.

“I know,” she said triumphantly.

“Thank you, Miss Pleydell.”

Her mood changed. She became very merry. She told me amusing incidents about coming out in society; how the importance of making one’s mark was astonishing. Her first ball had been a nightmare before it started and turned out to be a triumph.

“I was so scared that I should be a failure and no one would ask me to dance. To be a wallflower is the haunting fear of every debutante.

And if you are a success, all the mamas are a-titter and terribly jealous except your own, of course, who is triumphant. It is an ordeal.”

“Which I am sure you came through with flying colours.”

“I had lots of partners and it was fun, and it went on being fun for a long time. Then Tom appeared, and there was all the excitement which grew and grew. I was petted and pampered, their darling, their ewe lamb, their saviour. It is a terrible responsibility.”

We had come round to the subject again.

When she left me, she took my hand and held it.

“May I call you Anna?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“And you will call me Henrietta.”

I agreed. I expected I should not see her again, but I should probably hear whether or not she had broken her engagement. It would be in the society columns of the newspapers.

I was unprepared for the sequel. Two days later a jar vie arrived at the house. I looked through the window and, to my amazement, saw Henrietta stepping out. The driver was carrying two travelling bags to the door.

Jane answered the knock.

I heard Henrietta’s voice.

“Is Miss Pleydell at home?” And then to the driver.

“Just bring those bags in, will you, please? Thank you very much.”

I waited.

Jane came into the drawing-room where I had been sitting reading.

“That young lady is back, Madam,” she said in her parlour maid voice.

“And it looks like she’s come to stay.”

Henrietta, flushed and triumphant, was ushered into the drawing-room.

“I’ve done it,” she said.

“I couldn’t face the family so I ran away.”

“But …” I began.

“I thought you’d let me stay … just for a little while … just till they get used to it. There’ll be such a storm.”

“Wouldn’t it have been better to stay and face it?”

“Well, to tell the truth, I think they would try to persuade.”

“But if you have made up your mind …”

“You don’t know my family. There’ll be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. I couldn’t have stood it. I’m not strong like you.

Mama would have wept and I hate to see that. I might have given way and I know I must not give way. The only thing to do was to leave. So I thought, as you’d been so kind to that girl who had gone to the hospital, you’d be kind to me, too. You won’t send me away, will you?”

“Of course I wouldn’t do that. But I do wonder if you have been wise.”

“I feel loads better. I really was scared of Tom Carlton. It was the way he looked at me .. as though there were all sorts of things in his mind. He’s old and he has had lots of mistresses … all sorts, I believe. I didn’t feel I would come up to his expectations. So it is better for him really that I get out now, before we both realize what a big mistake we’ve made. I thought I’d stay here till the storm blows over. Tom can find someone else and my family will get over the disappointment in time. After all, those death watch beetles have been at it for hundreds of years, a few more won’t make much difference, and then perhaps we’ll have someone in the family who knows how to retrieve the fortune, and perhaps one of them will be able to find a benefactor and marry him. I’m babbling on, aren’t I? I do, you know.

But if you could understand how relieved I feel. “

I said: “You may certainly stay the night. Perhaps in the morning you will have changed your mind. Have you told your parents where you are going?”

“In my note, I said to a friend. I have a number of acquaintances where I could go. And I’ve written to Tom trying to explain that I don’t think I’m ready for marriage.”

“I will ask them to prepare a room. We have just one spare room. This is not a big house, you know.”

“I know. That’s what I like about it. I’m heartily sick of baronial halls and magnificent linenfold panelling which has to be preserved at the cost of one’s self-respect.”

“I think you should consider your future. You see, I am a woman who has left her husband. Society is not very kind to people like me.”

“Who cares for society?”

“I don’t. But are you sure you don’t?”

“Absolutely. I’m going to love talking to you.”

“I think you make rather hasty judgements.”

“Well, perhaps, but I’m right in some, and I’m right about us. You and I are going to be friends.” And that was how Henrietta Marlington came to live with me.

It was not to be expected that Henrietta’s family would allow her to escape lightly. For weeks there were comings and goings, entreaties and threats. I was amazed at Henrietta’s resolve. I had thought her rather frivolous, and so she appeared to be in many ways, but the frivolity hid an iron resolve. I was rather disturbed to find myself in the centre of a storm, which was the last thing I wanted; and there were occasions when I wished I had not allowed myself to accept the invitation to Amelia’s parents’ dinner-party. Yet on the other hand I was growing increasingly fond of Henrietta. She was an enchanting creature and her presence in the house was a joy to us all. Jane, Polly and Lily were her fervent admirers; they were ready to take up arms against the whole Marlington clan and Lord Carlton himself if they persisted in their attempts to force Henrietta into taking action which was repulsive to her.

Henrietta’s mother came to see me to beg me to try to persuade Henrietta to think of her future.

I said I believed that that was what so concerned her.

She replied that Henrietta was young and had always been headstrong, and she did not realize what an opportunity she was throwing away. I had great influence with her.

I explained that I had met her on only two occasions when she had come to my house. I had known nothing about her feelings. She had just asked that she might stay in my house while she made up her mind. I could not persuade her one way or another.

And then, finally, they seemed to have decided that all hope of bringing Henrietta to her senses, as they called it, was futile, and they must accept the inevitable. They wished Henrietta to return to them. Henrietta declined; and by that time she had become part of our household and we were all very pleased about it.

For more than two months Henrietta’s affairs dominated our lives; and when the storm finally died down, I found I was another step away from my overwhelming grief and was beginning to take a greater interest in life.

Lily Craddock’s affairs were next to demand our attention. I had noticed a change in her. She went out more frequently; she had always been an outstandingly pretty girl, but now she was radiantly so.

It was not long before Jane and Polly prised the secret from her.

Lily often called at her favourite haberdasher’s where she said she found the best lace trimmings and coloured silks in London, and she was on fairly good terms with the owners a Mr. and Mrs. Clift. A few weeks previously she had been in the shop when a handsome soldier had come from the parlour while Mrs. Clift was serving Lily. She had said:

“Oh, William, you must meet Miss Craddock. She’s one of our best customers.”

“It seemed,” said Jane, recounting this to me, ‘they took to each other and that was it. What you might call love at first sight. “

“So,” I said, ‘this is the reason for the change in Lily. “

“Lily is, in a manner of speaking, courting,” added Polly.

We were all very excited about this turn in Lily’s fortunes, particularly when it seemed that William Clift was serious in his intentions.

Lily was asked to tea in the Clift establishment and she came back in a daze of happiness. I said she must ask William to tea with her, and there was a good deal of preparation and bustle in the kitchen. Jane made a cake and Lily made new collar and cuffs for her best gown.

Henrietta thought that we should all be present and that the tea-party should take place in the drawing-room. But Jane firmly put her foot down. What sort of place would the Clifts think this was with servants taking tea with the mistress in the drawing-room?

No! Jane knew how these things should be done. There should be tea in the kitchen which was the right place for it and then Henrietta and I should come down after they had all eaten and we should be introduced to William in the proper manner.

Everything went according to plan. Henrietta and I went down at the appropriate time and were formally introduced.

William was a good-looking young man and his manly bearing was enhanced by his uniform. He told me that he hoped to leave the army when he married and settle down in the shop, which was now becoming more prosperous than it had been when he enlisted. He thought he and Lily would live there with his parents when they were married.

It sounded ideal and I was delighted for Lily.

After William had left she came to me and told me rather tearfully how much she appreciated what I had done for her.

She said: “The luckiest day of my life was when I walked under your carriage. When I think it might have been someone else’s carriage I go cold with fear.”

That was one of the nicest compliments I could receive but I felt I didn’t deserve it. I had really done very little. I was so much better than I had been. Involvement in the affairs of those around me had taken me away from my troubles.

Henrietta was now settled in. She was part of the household and she told me that she felt so different, so happy and alive.

“Compared with what you have been used to, this must be a very humble existence,” I said.

She did not deny it. She said thoughtfully: “But here I have something I never had before. Freedom! Do you know, I am beginning to believe that that is the most desirable thing in the world. Here I think my own thoughts. I don’t believe what has been put into my mind is gospel truth. I make my own decisions. How glad I am that I did not marry Tom Carlton. I should now be his wife. Think of that.”

“So rich. So highly cherished in society,” I reminded her.

“My birthright sold for a mess of pottage.”

I laughed at her. I understood what she meant. She talked a great deal about her childhood, her coming out, her mission in life, as she called it: “To find a rich husband and save the family fortunes. Now I am free. I shall marry whom I like or no one at all … if that is what I want. I go where I want to. I do what I want to. Glorious freedom.”

I found I was confiding in her. I told her a little of my married life, which culminated in the death of my son.