Worried someone might try to stop her, she didn't ring for Beatrice but fought her way into the dress herself, grateful the garment buttoned in front. She penned a note to her maid, telling her she would return on the morrow and please not to worry her father. A few minutes later, she was on her way down the hall, descending the servants' stairs, making her way out to the stable.

She paused to light a lantern, then stepped inside. Grand Coeur nickered at her approach, then whinnied softly as she led him from the stall. She hadn't brought Noir or any of her racing stock. She still wasn't certain whether she would remain at Kinleigh.

"Whatcha doin', Miss?" It was Jack Johnson, the walker who had delivered her saddle horses. Lee had hoped none of the grooms would awaken.

"I have an errand to run." She turned to lift the heavy sidesaddle off of its rack, but Jack, a big, brawny man at least a head taller than she, reached over and hefted it as if were light as a feather. He settled it on Grand Coeur's back.

" 'Tis late, Miss. Ye can't be thinkin' of goin' off by yerself. There's a storm movin' in. And it's dangerous on the roads for a lady."

"I have to go, Jack. I'll be back some time tomorrow."

He shook his grizzled head. He was not a handsome man but there was kindness in his features. "I'll not be lettin' ye go, Miss. Not by yerself. If ye leave, I'll be goin' with ye." He didn't tighten the cinch and blocked her from doing it herself.

It was fifteen miles to London, but the road was well traveled and the inns along the way not far apart. She knew which house in Berkeley Square belonged to the Earl of Selhurst. It wasn't likely she would be assaulted, but there was no way to be sure. In truth, she felt a sweep of relief that Jack would be going with her.

"Thank you, Jack. Perhaps it would be better if you came along."

He nodded, went to saddle a horse for himself, and returned a few minutes later. "Mind tellin' me where we be goin'?"

Lee smiled as she flipped the hood of her woolen cloak up over her head. "London, Jack. We're off for London."

A few minutes later, they disappeared into the misty night.


Caleb couldn't sleep. Tomorrow he would begin his journey back to Spain. He wished it were already dawn so he could be on his way.

Instead, a black, moonless night darkened the sky outside his bedchamber window. A harsh, north wind howled over the chimneys and a slick mist dampened the cobbled streets. Caleb paced in front of the window, paused to watch a lone carriage roll past, then walked over to pour himself a drink.

He thought of Lee and wondered what she was doing this night and if she had settled in with the marquess's family. He hoped so. He wanted her to be happy. It was his most fervent wish.

He removed the stopper from the decanter and poured some of the amber liquid into his glass. He took a drink, hoping the brandy might help him to sleep, started to take another sip when a light rap sounded on his door. Caleb crossed the room to open it, wondering what Grimsley was doing up well past midnight.

"You've a visitor, sir." The old man's ears turned slightly pink. "A lady, sir. She has come a bit of a ways. She says if you do not wish to see her, you should tell her so and she will go away."

His heart started thudding. Surely she wouldn't come all this way. Then he remembered her riding like thunder over the fields, the reckless way she had taken jump after jump. Of course she would come. He set the snifter down on a table beside the door, fighting to curb his impatience to see her.

He wasn't dressed for company. He wore only his breeches, no shirt or boots. He dragged his shirt back on but didn't bother to button it, just followed the butler back down the stairs.

Lee stood in the foyer, a small, cloaked figure with damp, windblown hair the color of rubies and cheeks rosy from the chill in the late night air.

"I took the liberty of showing her groom into the kitchen, sir, for a bite to eat. There is a pallet in front of the fire should he wish to sleep."

A groom. At least she hadn't traveled alone. "Thank you, Grimsley." But his gaze remained on Lee and he couldn't seem to tear it away.

She didn't say a word until the butler had retired, then she hoisted her chin. "If you wish me to leave, merely say the word and I shall be on my way."

His mouth curved. "So I've been told." He wanted to sweep her up, to crush her in his arms, but he was afraid if he touched her he would never let her go.

"Well?"

"I leave for Portsmouth at dawn."

"I know that. That is the reason I am here." She waited for him to say something more, to invite her to stay. When he didn't, she whirled toward the door and started walking. "I'm sure you have a great deal to do before you leave. I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Good night, Captain Tanner."

She reached for the door but he was there behind her. He caught her waist, spun her around, and straight into his arms.

"Too late," he said softly. "You had your chance to escape. Now I won't let you out of my sight until dawn."

She looked up at him, ready to push him away. Whatever she saw in his face changed her mind. Her arms went around his neck and she pressed her cheek to his.

"Caleb…"

For long moments, he just held her. He could feel her heart beating nearly as fast as his own, feel the faint tremors running through her body. She was here. God only knew they would both regret these hours in the morning. Still, he swept her up in his arms and started up the stairs.

"I've missed you," he said as stepped inside his bedchamber and closed the door with his bare foot. "Every day that you have been gone I have thought of you and wished you were here."

He kissed her then, knowing he shouldn't, unable to help himself.

Wishing things could be different.

Knowing for him they never would be.


Lee could scarcely believe she was actually here, upstairs in Caleb's bedchamber. There was a time she wouldn't have been so bold, but that was long ago, before she had met him. Before she had become the person she was today.

She leaned toward him, went up on her toes and kissed him. "I've missed you, Caleb. So very much." She kissed his eyes, his cheeks, his lips. "I had to see you. I couldn't stay at Kinleigh, knowing you might still be here, knowing I might never see you again. I had to come, Caleb. I had to see you one last time."

His hand came up to her cheek. "I know I shouldn't say this, I know you're being here is bad for both of us, but I'm so very glad you came."

"I've thought of you every night. I've dreamed of touching you… of having you touch me. Once you are gone, all I'll have left of you are memories." She kissed him very softly. "I want to spend the night curled up beside you. I want you to hold me in your arms. Make love to me, Caleb. Please?"

His hands shook as he framed her face between his palms, bent his head, and kissed her, a kiss so soft and sweet it nearly broke her heart. Reaching up, he began to pull the pins from her hair, then he combed the heavy curls out with his fingers.

"I can't make love to you—not the way you mean. I gave your father my word." But he kissed her again and began to unbutton her clothes and she reached down to unbutton his.

Outside the window, the storm was moving in. Lightning cracked and she heard the roll of thunder. The black night seemed to echo the darkness creeping into her soul.

Caleb removed the rest of her clothes and the last of his own. In the glow of the lamp flickering beside the bed, she could see the bands of muscles across his chest and she ached to touch them. She watched the way they bunched and thickened as he moved and she yearned to press her mouth against his skin. His stomach was flat, and ridges of muscle rippled in the faint, golden lamplight. His hips were narrow, his buttocks round, and his long, thick shaft jutted out from its nest of protective dark curls.

God, he was so beautiful. And she loved him so much.

Caleb lifted her again, carried her over to his tall four-poster bed, and set her down on the edge of the mattress. Propping an arm on each side of her, he bent and kissed her, a long, lingering kiss laced with the faint, sweet taste of brandy. She could feel the heat of his mouth, the softness of his lips, and an ache throbbed inside her. He was leaving. In a few short hours, he would be gone.

Caleb kissed her long and deep. He took and took and at the same time, the pleasure he gave was nearly unbearable. He kissed the side of her neck, trailed soft, open-mouthed kisses over her shoulders, bent his head and took one of her breasts into his mouth. Desire washed through her. Love for him welled up so strong it nearly made her weep.

Beneath his mouth, her nipples pebbled, turned diamond-hard and he rolled them around on his tongue. "Like berries," he whispered. "I shall forever remember the taste."

He cupped them almost reverently, massaged them as he claimed her mouth again, took her deeply with his tongue.

"I won't break my word," he said as he knelt between her legs, but she could see the hunger in his eyes, the hot desire and something else, something that matched the longing in her own.

She felt his mouth on her belly, his tongue in her navel and waves of pleasure washed over her. He eased her back on the bed and moved lower, pressed his mouth into the curls at the apex of her legs. Lee gasped as he parted her slick, woman's flesh and began to taste her there. It felt as if a torch had set fire to her blood.

"Caleb!" She tried to sit up but he coaxed her back down, began to kiss her again.

"I won't come inside you," he whispered. "But there are other ways that I can make love to you."

And so he began to show her. Sliding his palms beneath her hips, he lifted her against his mouth. He caressed her with his lips and his tongue until her body was on fire for him, until thoughts of Caleb consumed her, until she began to whimper his name. She fisted her hands in his thick brown hair, but he did not stop. Just held her hips immobile as he laved and tasted, stroked her again and again. There was reverence in the way he held her, in the way he gave and gave and did not stop. She reached her pinnacle thinking about him, wishing he were inside her. Pleasure poured through her. Even then he did not stop, not until she peaked again.

She was limp and sobbing when the sweet torture ended. Lifting her up, he settled her on the bed, then lay down beside her. He was still so hard she could see a faint pulse beating in the rigid length resting on his belly and she realized that what he had done was a gift.

Outside the window, the storm went on, a mirror of her own turbulent emotions. Lightning flashed as she reached out to touch him, wanting to give him the same gift he had given to her.

Caleb caught her wrist. "It's all right. You don't have to—"

"I want to, Caleb," she said softly. Bending over him, she tasted him, felt the smooth, rigid texture of his hardness, took him into her mouth. Her hair swung forward, pooled against his groin, and she heard his sharp intake of breath. She wasn't sure exactly what to do, but when she felt the tension sweep through his body, when she heard him whisper her name, she thought that perhaps it didn't matter. She cupped him and tasted him, caressed him more deeply, and in minutes he reached release.

She could feel the beating of his heart as he pulled her down beside him in the bed and nestled her against his chest. "I don't want to leave you," he said. "If there were any other way…"

She pressed her trembling fingers over his lips and ignored the painful lump in her throat. Caleb's arms tightened protectively around her and she felt the brush of his lips against her hair.

I love you, she thought. I love you so much. But she didn't say it. It wouldn't be fair to either one of them.

"I don't want to fall asleep," she said instead. "I want these last few hours with you." But she was exhausted from the tiring ride to London and he had pleasured her well. As hard as she fought to stay awake, sleep crept over her.

When dawn broke over the horizon and her eyes slowly opened, Caleb was gone. Inside her chest, her heart simply shattered.






24


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Lee's return to Kinleigh Hall the following day went unremarked. If her father knew where she had been, if he noticed the despair in her eyes or the weary defeat that weighed down her shoulders, he made no comment and she would forever be grateful. Caleb was gone from her life. She would make a fresh start without him. Her father seemed to read her thoughts and he was determined to help her.