Later, he told himself. When she was more accustomed to identifying as a submissive. After he had more of a handle on what she liked, what she craved.

She shivered when she moved on to the wall where masks and gags hung. He didn’t think it was a shiver of pleasure. The cane collection got a cursory nod and she tilted her head as she inspected the padded bench. She appeared so at ease with everything, it caught him off guard when she stopped short at the whipping post.

“What’s that?” she asked in a whisper.

Her voice held a note of anxiety he hadn’t anticipated. In less than two seconds, he was at her side, a hand on her shoulder. “Julie?”

“Is that a whipping post?”

He told her earlier a submissive had to be honest with her Dom. The reverse was also true. “Yes,” he said.

There was no mistaking her shiver at his affirmation. “Where you whip people?”

Silently, he cursed himself for being so blasé about her exploration of the playroom. “You can also use it for flogging and less intense play.”

“But you have a whip, like a bullwhip?”

He did, carefully tended to and practiced with weekly to ensure he stay proficient in its proper usage. “I think it’s time we left the playroom.”

“Show it to me.”

“No.”

“I marked the bullwhip as ‘won’t object’ on my list. Then I saw the . . . post . . .”

He breathed a sigh of relief; her reaction made more sense after she said that. “Sometimes we think we’re okay with something,” he said. “But when actually faced with it, we change our mind.”

“Just the thought of being strapped there, naked and exposed. Waiting . . . I want to change bullwhip to hard limit.”

“Yes, of course,” he said, but she didn’t move her gaze from the post.

“Look at me.” He took hold of her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Every submissive has a different need when it comes to sensation play. Some only desire a soft flogging, but others are hard-core masochists and require the bite of the whip. Part of play is to find where your need lies, but you get to be the one who ultimately decides how far you’ll go.”

Her body relaxed under his words and touch, which made him feel better.

“That’s right,” she said, though he realized she spoke more to herself than in response to him.

He took her hand and led her from the room. “Come with me.”

For the next few hours, they bundled up and he showed her around his property. She didn’t seem to be suffering any lasting effects from either the spanking or the playroom. In fact, she seemed more at ease around him.

He took her by the pond he’d spoken of earlier, showing her the place he would fish as a young boy. He pointed out his guesthouse and explained that he hosted play parties there. He even spoke of his parents, which was something he rarely did with anyone. How his mother died after giving birth to his sister and how his grief-stricken father had taken off and never come back.

He knew that, having lost her own parents, she understood. She simply took his hand and commented on how now it was even clearer why his grandparents were so dear to him.

Before she left, they made tentative plans to meet for lunch midweek and for her to come back to his house on Saturday. He wanted to ask her if she’d bring an overnight bag, but decided to wait until they met for lunch.

* * *

Sasha, of course, knew as soon as Julie walked in the door on Monday that something had happened.

“Tell me all about it, don’t leave a thing out.” She was hopping around the shop, way too hyper for a Monday morning.

Julie shrugged and tried to act all casual as she put her purse behind the counter. “We had dinner. It was nice. I spent the night.”

“Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Get your kink on?” Sasha said with a waggle of her eyebrows.

“Must we discuss every detail of my sex life?”

“Yes, we must. Every detail. So spill. Now.”

“Not until I’m properly caffeinated. And what’s gotten into you?”

Sasha talked while Julie prepared the coffee. She had rarely seen her friend so animated. Her eyes glowed and her entire body seemed energized. “I think Peter’s going to collar me.”

“Whoa. Really?” At first, Julie felt surprised to hear her friend was ready to take what she’d learned was such an important step. Although thinking about it, she realized Sasha had been with Peter longer than any other man in recent history. Which wasn’t saying a lot, but still. Julie couldn’t remember her ever wearing a collar.

“Yes! He hinted at it this weekend and I ended up staying at his place all day yesterday. And he’s building a playroom, it’s not anything like Daniel’s, but it’s still a room, right? And he’s—”

“Damn, take a breath.”

“Sorry.” Sasha climbed onto the stool next to her. “It’s just . . . I’m ready, you know?”

Julie nodded and took a sip of coffee. She was starting to understand. “How does that work, being collared?”

“Peter likes playing the entire weekend.” Her forehead wrinkled. “I’m not sure about that. It seems like a lot, but we’ll work it out. Besides, you’ve had coffee now.”

“Half a cup.”

“Surely that’s enough. Now spill.”

She wasn’t sure she was ready to spill; she rather wanted to keep it to herself a bit longer. To take the memory of being on her knees before Daniel and examine it, piece by piece, until she unlocked the secret of why it felt so good.

But she knew Sasha wouldn’t let it drop.

“He spanked me. I slept over. Had a mini freak-out in his playroom.”

“You played in his playroom?”

“No, he let me look around.”

“Okay. Whew,” Sasha said. “I didn’t think he’d play with a newbie in his playroom. Not Mr. These-Are-the- Rules-and-You-Will-Follow-or-Else.”

“That’s what you think of Daniel?” She couldn’t reconcile it with the man she’d spent so much time with the last few days.

“I don’t know Daniel. I just know Master Covington.”

Master Covington.

She would put that away to inspect later, too. Why the sound of it made her insides feel all wobbly.

Sasha was watching her closely. “What caused the freak-out?”

“And here this whole time I thought you’d ask about the spanking.”

“We’ll go there next.”

Julie swirled her coffee. “The thing is, I’m not ready to talk about it. It made me feel things I didn’t expect and I need to process that first.”

Her words had the desired effect on Sasha; she straightened up a bit. “Sure, I get that. It’s been a while for me, but I remember being new.” The bell above the door chimed and Sasha went to greet the customers. “Just remember, I’m here when you’re ready to talk.”

Julie took longer than normal lingering over her coffee. Daniel had said he had the need to dominate only in the bedroom and the playroom. The playroom made sense to her, but how would it be to always give up control in the bedroom? Could she do that?

She thought back to the hotel, when she’d slept with Daniel before knowing he was a Dominant. No matter which way she looked at it, the night had been beyond anything she’d ever experienced. Well, at least until the night in his bedroom.

Perhaps, she decided, that was her answer.

* * *

He met her for lunch Wednesday at her favorite deli. Though they had talked on the phone and texted a few times, there was something about seeing him in person that made Julie feel as giddy as a teenager.

He stood when she approached the table and pulled her chair out. Before she could sit down, he placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

“I’m so glad this worked out,” he said. “That you were able to step away.”

“Sasha owes me. She does lunch with Peter regularly and I’m left at the shop by myself.”

“She’s a lively woman. The group wouldn’t be the same without her.”

Julie placed her napkin in her lap. She didn’t have to look over the menu; she knew exactly what she was going to order. “She’s the people person of the shop. Never met a stranger. And she’ll talk to a stone wall just to have someone to talk with.”

“You’re not exactly an introvert.”

“No, I wouldn’t call me that. I’d just say I’m guarded.”

“There’s a lot of wisdom in being that way.” He stood up. “Do you know what you want? I’ll go order for us.”

She told him her sandwich order and watched as he walked up to the counter. There was such confidence and grace in the way he moved, she swore she could watch him forever. Even though he wore a suit and tie, it was easy to picture him the way he’d been over the weekend. She knew exactly what was under those clothes.

“This looks great,” he said, when he came back with their sandwiches. “I decided to try what you ordered.”

“It’s one of my favorites.” Chicken, Brie, and sun-dried tomatoes on ciabatta. She and Sasha ordered takeout here at least once a week.

They ate in compatible silence for a few minutes, though she was aware he watched her with careful eyes. When they started talking, they spoke about work and how the week was going.

“How are you feeling?” he asked at one point. “Any questions about last weekend or anything you want to discuss?”

“Here?” She looked around the crowded deli. Sure, people were wrapped up in their own conversations, but she didn’t feel comfortable discussing kinky sex in public. He’d spanked her, for crying out loud.

“I could take you back to my place, but I’m not sure I’d be able to keep my hands off you long enough to talk.”

That made her laugh. “It’s just so public.”

“I think we’ll be able to discuss it without anyone knowing what we’re talking about.”

She pushed her chair forward and leaned close to him to ensure no one heard but him. “I feel conflicted. There’s one part of me that says, what should it matter if I enjoy being spanked? I’m a grown woman fully capable of making my own decisions. Then the other part says, why would a grown woman let herself be spanked?”

He didn’t show any surprise at her confession. “And in your mind you think a grown woman shouldn’t want to be spanked or submit sexually?”

“I don’t know if it’s me who thinks that or if it’s what society has told me to think.”

“Then the question becomes, who do you listen to? Yourself or everyone else?”

She sighed and sat back in her seat, looking at the table. “You make it sound so simple.”

“Do you think I never struggled with the nature of my sexual needs?”

Her head shot up. “You? Why?”

This time it was his turn to lean in close to her. “Do you think society at large finds it acceptable for a man to get off tying up his lover and spanking her? Forcing her to her knees so she can suck him?”

“That’s different. You’re the man.”

“So where does that leave submissive men?”

She didn’t have a reply for that.

“You have to treat everyone by the same rules,” he said. “If you say men can be submissive or Dominant simply because they’re men, you have to say women can likewise be submissive or Dominant simply because they’re women. Fair is fair.”

She offered him a small smile. “Everyone’s equal?”

“Everyone’s equal. Inside the playroom or outside the playroom.”

“You make everything seem so easy.” What he said made sense at the moment. She just wasn’t sure if she’d still look at it that way when he wasn’t sitting across from her.

“Not easy,” he said. “Simple. There’s a difference. Something can be simple and still be hard. It was simple for your body to react to me last weekend. It’s hard for your mind to admit your submissive nature.”

She picked at a bit of cheese hanging off her sandwich. “You think I’m submissive?”

“Look at me, Julie.”

Her eyes met his before she could even process that he’d given a command she’d obeyed effortlessly.

“I’m not going to answer that,” he said. “If I say ‘yes’ because I’ve been around enough novice submissives to know, it’ll appear as if I’m trying to fit you into a defined box. If I say ‘no,’ it’ll look like I’m trying to make you something you’re not.”

“But if I’m simply looking for your opinion?”

He shook his head. “I’m too personally involved. Besides, understanding and accepting your sexuality is a journey of self-discovery.”

They spent the next few minutes eating silently. Daniel seemed at ease with the quiet. She appreciated that he allowed her time to think. Of course, she could always think more about their conversation when they weren’t on a date.