Alaric’s lips twisted into a fierce snarl. Caelen acted as though Alaric was a senseless dolt. “You have no need to remind me what is at stake here, Caelen. I’m well aware of the implications of my marriage to Rionna McDonald. I’ve said I would do my duty. You insult me by suggesting anything less.”

Caelen nodded. “My apologies. I’ll not broach the subject again.”

“Good,” Alaric muttered.

He drained the rest of his ale anyway and promptly grimaced as it swirled and bubbled in his gut. He’d partaken too much and his head already ached. Unable to resist, he chanced another look over at Keeley just as she turned her head slightly in his direction.

Their gazes met and locked, and she froze like a doe about to bolt. Her eyes were wide and expressive, and for a moment he saw everything he knew she didn’t want him to see. The same longing he felt. The same desire. The same regret.

He dragged his gaze away and swore under his breath. Then he held up his goblet and signaled the serving woman to bring him more.

Suddenly he decided he hadn’t had enough to drink. He needed more and then maybe he wouldn’t feel the horrible ache that swelled in his belly and thrust upward into his chest.

Maybe he’d forget.

CHAPTER 15

Keeley bundled the heavy fur cape around her as she trudged through the snow toward Maddie’s cottage. The afternoon sun was high overhead and glistened off the snow-covered landscape, casting a shine that hurt Keeley’s eyes.

Mairin had been ordered to remain inside the keep by the laird, a fact Mairin was none too happy about. Keeley felt disloyal but in this she agreed with the laird. Ewan was afraid that Mairin might fall on the ice and injure herself. She was large and ungainly with the babe and had already nearly fallen down the stairs twice, both times giving Cormac, who was attending her, failure of the heart.

As a result she was now forbidden to walk up or down the stairs without someone holding her arm.

And since Mairin was confined to the hall and about to go mad with boredom, Keeley was trekking across the snow to collect Maddie and Christina because Mairin wanted their company.

Keeley smiled. ’Twas no burden to summon the other women. ’Twas the truth that Keeley enjoyed their company and Mairin’s as well. They spent many a night in front of the fire, sewing, gossiping, and teasing Christina about her infatuation with Cormac. Thankfully no one had picked up on Keeley’s interest in Alaric or his interest in her, or if they had, they had the grace to remain silent, a favor Keeley was grateful for.

Cormac had increasingly made more excuses to remain in the hall at night, usually to drink ale with the men and discuss the day’s training, but his attention was focused on Christina. The two played a game of cat and mouse that amused Keeley. They weren’t as direct as she and Alaric had been, but then what had admitting their attraction gained Keeley and Alaric except heartache and regret?

She knocked on Maddie’s cottage door and then blew warm air onto her cold fingers. The door swung open and Maddie immediately exclaimed, “Keeley! Don’t stand there in the cold. Come warm yourself by the fire.”

“My thanks,” Keeley said as she pushed inside to stand by the hearth.

“What brings you out on a cold day such as this?”

Keeley grinned. “Mairin is at her wits’ end. She wishes for you and Christina to come sit with her and keep her company. The laird has forbidden her to leave the confines of the keep.”

“As well he should,” Maddie said with an approving nod. “In the snow and ice is no place for the lass to be walking in. She could fall and hurt the babe.”

“She offered no argument, but she’s not happy about it. She asked that if you weren’t busy with your own duties, would you mind sitting with her awhile?”

“Of course not. Let me get my shawl and my boots. We’ll stop by and collect Christina on our way back to the keep.”

In a few moments’ time, both women bundled back up and stepped into the biting wind.

“Have you all you need for the coming winter?” Maddie asked as they approached Christina’s parents’ cottage.

Keeley shook her head. “Nay. There are a few herbs I must look for. ’Twill require digging into the snow but I know what trees to look under. Many will come down with a cough and aching chest as it grows colder. Especially the children. There is a paste I make that eases the ache and helps with the cough. ’Twill be useful to have this winter.”

Maddie frowned. “When will you collect these herbs?”

Keeley grinned ruefully. “Not until it stops snowing and the wind dies down. ’Tis too cold to go digging about in the snow right now.”

“Aye, you’re right. Be sure to bring a man or two to help you. ’Tis no easy task for a lass to take on herself.”

“Now you sound like the laird with all his dictates,” Keeley teased.

Maddie stopped and knocked at Christina’s door. “The laird is a wise man. ’Tis no insult to be compared to him.”

Keeley rolled her eyes. “I was offering no insult.”

Christina opened the door and her face brightened when she saw Maddie and Keeley standing there. When they told her Mairin would like her to come to the keep, she pounced on the opportunity.

“I love my mother dearly,” Christina said as they hurried toward the keep. “But ’tis God’s truth, the woman is driving me daft. I can’t take being sequestered in the cottage with her any longer.”

Maddie chuckled. “Complaining about the weather, I imagine.”

“When doesn’t she complain?” Christina asked in exasperation. “If it’s not the weather, it’s my father, or me, or some imagined ailment. I was near to screaming before you knocked on my door.”

Keeley smiled and squeezed the young woman’s hand. “I’m sure the opportunity to see Cormac again never entered your mind.”

Christina blushed and Maddie hooted with laughter. “She has you there, lass.”

“Do you think he’ll ever try to kiss me?” Christina asked wistfully.

Maddie pursed her lips. “It seems to me that if he hasn’t been trying to kiss you then maybe you should take the matter into your own hands and kiss him.”

Christina’s mouth dropped open and her eyes widened with shock. “Oh I couldn’t! Why, that would be brazen. He’d think me … He’d think me …” she sputtered to a halt, clearly unable to voice the word floating through her mind.

“I wager he’d be too knocked off his feet to have such thoughts,” Maddie muttered. “Some men need a shove every now and again. A stolen kiss does not a harlot make. No matter what your mother might preach.”

“I agree with Maddie,” Keeley said.

“You do?” Christina turned to look at Keeley just as they stepped into the keep and were greeted by much warmer air. “Have you ever … kissed a man?” Her voice dropped to a whisper as she looked around to make certain they weren’t overheard. “I mean did you do the kissing?”

“Aye,” Keeley said softly. “I’ve kissed and I’ve been kissed. ’Tis not a shameful thing, Christina. If it doesn’t go too far. Cormac is a good man. He won’t take advantage, and if he does, you scream loudly and I’ll kick him betwixt the legs.”

Maddie dissolved into laughter while Christina looked so shocked that Keeley wondered if she and Maddie should have counseled the younger woman at all.

But then a speculative gleam appeared in her eyes and Christina’s expression grew thoughtful. As soon as they entered the hall, Mairin rose from her chair in front of the fire and hurried toward them.

“Thank goodness you’re here. I am driving myself daft with boredom. Ewan won’t allow me out of the keep but everyone else must still go about their duties.”

Then Mairin stopped and studied them curiously. “What is amiss? And Christina, why do you have such a peculiar look on your face?”

Maddie chuckled. “The lass is conspiring.”

Mairin’s brows shot up. “This, I must hear. Come, sit in front of the fire with me and tell me all. If there is mischief to be had, I want a part in it.”

“Oh sure, make the laird furious with us all for leading you astray,” Keeley grumbled.

Mairin grinned cheekily and settled back in her chair, her palm molding to her protruding belly. “Ewan won’t touch a hair on your head. At least not until our babe is safely delivered.”

“It’s afterward you need to worry,” Maddie teased.

Keeley sobered, for after she delivered Mairin’s babe, her future was indeed precarious. She had no idea if she even had a cottage to return to at this point. With her disappearance, naught would be known of her fate and her cottage would surely be taken over by someone in need of a sturdy shelter. She had no champion to back her claim, and in fact the cottage didn’t really belong to her. It was a McDonald holding.

“Did we say something wrong?” Mairin asked anxiously. “You look so … sad, Keeley.”

Keeley offered a valiant smile. “ ’Tis nothing. I was thinking of my fate after your babe is born.”

The other women looked shocked and a little appalled.

“Surely you don’t think you’d be turned out,” Maddie exclaimed.

Mairin shifted forward in her chair and clutched Keeley’s hand to hers. “Ewan would never allow such a thing to happen. You do know that, don’t you?”

“ ’Tis the truth I know nothing of my future,” Keeley said softly. “More likely than that, I don’t have a home to return to. Such as it was.”

“You don’t like it here?” Christina asked.

Keeley hesitated. Once Alaric married Rionna, ’Twas true that being here would take her further away from Alaric than returning to the McDonald land where she might very well be called to deliver Rionna’s first child. With Alaric. The thought was too much to bear. And yet staying here would also put her into close proximity with both Alaric and Rionna when they came to visit. ’Twas a conundrum that promised hurt for her no matter what the course of her fate.

“Aye, I like it here,” she finally said. “I never realized how lonely I was before I had all of you to laugh and talk with.”

“Keeley, will you tell us what happened to you?” Mairin asked quietly. “If ’tis none of our business, feel free to say so, but I wonder so why you no longer carry the McDonald name and why it is you say your clan turned their back on you.”

“ ’Tis shameful that,” Maddie offered with a scowl. “Family is family. A clan is all a person has. If they won’t stand behind you, who will?”

“Who will indeed?” Keeley asked ruefully.

She sat back and drew in her breath, surprised by how angry she still felt after so long. Resentment festered just underneath her skin, looking for a crack in which to spill out.

“I grew up as a close friend to Rionna McDonald, the laird’s only child.”

“Alaric’s Rionna?” Mairin asked with a gasp.

“Aye, Alaric’s Rionna.” It took her all not to flinch when saying those words. “It was common for me to be around the laird and Lady McDonald. They indulged Rionna and me and gave us run of the keep. As we grew older and became more womanly in look, the laird began watching me. So closely it discomfited me.”

“The lecher,” Maddie muttered.

“It became so uncomfortable that I started to avoid him entirely and started spending less time with Rionna inside the keep. One day when going to summon Rionna from her room, the laird caught me alone and he began saying horrible things. He kissed me and I was appalled. I told him I would scream for help and he asked who would go against him? He was laird. He could have what he wanted. No one would gainsay him.

“I was terrified, for he spoke the truth. He would have raped me in his daughter’s chamber, but Lady McDonald walked in.”

Mairin looked horrified. “Oh, Keeley.”

“I thought the worst of it was having the laird attack me so. I was wrong. The worst of it was when Lady McDonald labeled me whore and accused me of enticing her husband. I was banished from the keep and forbidden to return. I suppose I was fortunate that they allowed me to take a cottage a distance from the keep, but ’twas a lonely existence for a young girl.”

“That’s despicable!” Christina exclaimed. “How could they have done that to you?”

All three women’s faces were creased with horror and it sparked gladness in Keeley’s heart. It felt good to have someone be outraged on her behalf.

“The loss of Rionna’s friendship hurt the most. I didn’t know at first if she believed what was said about me. After Lady McDonald passed and she made no effort to see me or allow me back into the clan, I realized that everyone had indeed believed the worst.”