Caroline decided to get right to what was on her mind. “When are you going to stop letting her get to you?”
Dane glared at Caroline and reached a hand into her pocket for a cigarette. Her hand shook as she lit it. “She doesn’t get to me.”
“Oh, sure,” Caroline said sharply, “that’s why you left in such a huff last night.”
“I just don’t care for Brad’s brand of company, okay? I’m tired of her arrogance and her fucking ego.”
Caroline sighed. “It’s been three years, Dane. Can’t you let it go?”
“You know damn well what she did!” Dane exploded. “She drove me over the edge and then just walked away. No one—no one should do that to someone they love. Or say that they love.”
Caroline remembered those precarious few months in Dane’s life. She hadn’t been certain that Dane would be able to survive the demons Brad had awakened in her. But she had. Caroline would always respect her for the way Dane had struggled to hold her life together after Brad had left.
“Damn it, Dane. You beat her. You beat her at her own game. You made it without her.” She waved an arm toward the kennel. “She doesn’t even show dogs any more!”
“Baron beat her,” Dane said quietly. “He’s made this kennel—and she knows it. Before I got him, Brad was the big name around here. Now it’s us.” She shook her head. “But she still thinks she can beat me in everything else.” Maybe she’s right.
“You mean Kyle?” Caroline said astutely. She had seen the way Dane had looked at Kyle when they were dancing. A stranger might not have noticed, but Caroline did. She knew Dane was more than just physically attracted to Kyle.
Dane tensed. “Kyle is nothing to me.”
“Oh, come off it, Dane. What are you so damned afraid of? If you ask me, Kyle is pretty interested in you, too.”
Dane turned away, staring out the window over the counter. She didn’t want to hear this. She didn’t want to even think it. “She doesn’t know what she wants right now.”
Caroline disagreed. “You’d better give that woman a little more credit. She does know what she wants—she just may not be sure who she wants.”
Dane turned back abruptly, her blue eyes flashing. “Well, Brad is the master, right? Who better to show her what she wants!” She winced visibly as another sharp pain shot through her chest. “Shit.”
“What’s the matter?” Caroline cried, moving quickly across the room.
Dane closed her eyes for a moment. “Nothing. I’m fine.” She wiped the beads of perspiration off her face with her sleeve. She gazed affectionately at her friend, aware of Caroline’s concern. “Really—it’s okay.”
Caroline knew her friend very well. “Oh, Dane. Not again.”
Dane smiled weakly. “Yeah.” She was in trouble.
Caroline took her arm firmly. “Come on. We’re going to my place.”
Anne checked the rear-view mirror and caught a glimpse of Dane’s face. She couldn’t tell if Dane was asleep or not. Her head rested against the back of the seat, her eyes closed. No one had said anything since Caroline marched into the office, saying, “Close up. We’re leaving.”
Anne looked over at Caroline. She was staring out the window, her face expressionless. She had been holding Anne’s hand tightly ever since they got into the jeep. Caroline turned, as if feeling Anne’s eyes upon her. She smiled softly and shook her head slightly, motioning toward Dane. Anne sighed, thinking it was not going to be a good day.
When the three of them entered the apartment, Anne went immediately into the den, closing the door behind her. She knew Caroline and Dane would need privacy.
Dane followed Caroline into the bedroom wordlessly. She was emotionally and physically too exhausted to protest. She hated to admit it, but she knew she needed Caroline right now.
“Take your clothes off and lie down,” Caroline said as she walked into the bathroom. She opened the medicine chest and pulled out several jars. When she walked back into the room, she stopped short, drawing a sharp breath. Even from a distance, she could see the condition of Dane’s back. Dane’s flesh was swollen and discolored from her shoulders to her hips. Caroline couldn’t imagine the discipline it must have required to accept all of that punishment.
She sat down on the side of the bed, placing her hand tenderly in Dane’s hair, the only place she wasn’t afraid to touch her. “Why does it have to be so damn much every time, Dane?” she asked gently.
Dane lay quietly, trying to dissociate her mind from her aching body. “It takes that much.”
“To do what?” Caroline asked as she began very carefully applying a soothing ointment to Dane’s back. She knew from experience that her ministrations would only help temporarily, but it was an excuse to keep Dane quiet for a while. And it was also a chance for them to talk. Perhaps if Dane would talk to her, she might not need this.
Dane tried to relax, but even the slight pressure of Caroline’s hand sent lancets of pain through her sensitive muscles.
“Every time it gets harder,” she began hesitantly, trying to capture the thoughts that she avoided much of the time. “I can’t seem to let go of everything in my head unless I push my body further and further. It takes so much more physical sensation to clear away my feelings. And I can’t just let them eat me alive.”
Caroline continued to stroke Dane’s back gently, closing her mind to the sight of her friend’s beautiful body in ruins. “What about when you make love? Doesn’t that help?”
“Once in a while. With Kyle—” Dane stopped, not having meant to speak of Kyle.
“Kyle?” Caroline said in surprise. “Have you slept with her?” Suddenly things made more sense.
“Once,” Dane said, her voice muffled by the pillow.
“So, Kyle was the one you were telling me about last month?”
Dane nodded, calmed by Caroline’s touch. “Everything just happened so naturally. I didn’t think about it, we just fit so well.”
“Why didn’t you ever call her?”
“She’s a novice, Caroline. She’s just beginning to understand —about herself, about the whole thing. I don’t want to bring someone else out. I’ve had enough of that.”
Caroline winced but continued. “You mean like with Anne?”
Dane laughed as much as her protesting muscles allowed. “Will you stop? You know very well it’s okay about Anne. I love you two together. You’re good together. Anne and I would never have made it.”
“Do you want to make it with anyone?”
“I don’t know anymore. I’m used to the way things are. I meet someone, we do a scene and then it’s over. It’s easier that way.”
Caroline hesitated, not sure how far to go. “Maybe what’s easier isn’t always what’s best. Maybe if you had someone you could really reach, you wouldn’t need this.”
Dane sighed. “I’m afraid I’ll always need this.”
“Who is she?”
“Caroline—” Dane began.
“Damn it, Dane. You’re my friend. I love you. Why can’t you tell me who does this to you?”
Dane rolled gingerly over onto her side, facing Caroline. “It’s personal.”
“Oh, come on—and this isn’t?”
Dane reached up and touched Caroline’s cheek gently.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Caroline sighed, accepting defeat. “She must be something.”
“Yeah. A top’s top.” Her voice was at once bitter and begrudgingly respectful.
Caroline ruffled Dane’s blond hair, her voice sad. “Right.”
Nancy shook Kyle’s shoulder firmly. “Wake up, you. It’s after noon.”
Kyle protested sleepily and tried to roll away. “No, it’s not. It’s the middle of the night.”
“Wrong. Wake up!”
Kyle opened one eye and peered up at Nancy. “Is the party over?”
“Yes, thank God. And Roger’s gone to some meeting upstate until Monday. So get up—I want company.”
Kyle groaned and sat up, looking about the room. “Where are my clothes?”
Nancy feigned ignorance. “I don’t know. Where did you leave them?”
“Nance!” Kyle said threateningly.
Nancy laughed. “All right. They’re in the dryer. I’ll have them out for you in a minute.”
Kyle fell back gratefully into the pillows. “Good. Wake me up when they’re done.”
“Oh, no you don’t! You’re getting up. Here’s my robe. We’re having breakfast, and then we’re going to the shop.”
“Oh, fun,” Kyle said.
“And then we’re going out.”
Kyle looked up in surprise.
“Where?”
Nancy smiled. “To that bar you always hang out at.”
Kyle stared after her friend as she left the room.
CHAPTER NINE
NANCY PIROUETTED BEFORE the full-length mirror in Kyle’s bedroom.
“Well, how do I look?”
Kyle nodded appreciatively as she supervised her friend, who somehow managed to look elegant in blue jeans and a flannel shirt.
“Great!”
“Are you sure I can’t wear your leather pants?”
“No!” Kyle exclaimed. “First of all, they’re too big for you. Secondly, I don’t trust you in them.”
Nancy tried to look innocent. “What do you mean?”
Kyle laughed. “I’m not sure I could stand the competition!” She was suddenly serious. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Why not?” Nancy said lightly, searching through Kyle’s closet for a jacket. “How much different can it be?”
How much different indeed, Kyle thought, shaking her head.
Brad saw Kyle the moment she entered the crowded bar. She smiled to herself and took note of Kyle’s pretty companion. Another new one!
Carrying her beer, she threaded her way through the crowd and settled into the shadows against the wall. She considered how much things had changed these last few years. What once had been primarily a men’s bar had slowly been usurped by women. More and more women congregated here, dressed in leather and stalking the night with sexual appetites previously attributed to their gay brothers. Partly it was due to the increased publicity of bars such as this, and partly to women’s increasing awareness of their own sexual diversity. The sexual horizons of gay women seemed to be expanding. As the voices of women previously on the fringes of the sexual spectrum were heard, more and more women moved away from the mainstream to explore previously taboo areas. Brad found that she rarely had to look long for company. Now she had only to seek a challenge, and Kyle represented a challenge. Sensing that Kyle was involved with Dane heightened the thrill. Nothing intrigued Brad more than a battle with Dane, especially in the sexual arena. Since they had parted, Dane’s reputation had flourished. She was known as a demanding but safe top. Women trusted her to take them unharmed through a scene, although she never let anyone top her. Brad welcomed the opportunity to reestablish her own superiority. Seducing Kyle would certainly be satisfying, and if it hurt Dane, all the better. As she slowly sipped her beer, Brad waited for an opening to make her first move. She was in no hurry; she enjoyed the game as much as the winning.
She watched Kyle and Nancy wend their way through the crowd to the end of the bar. When she got the bartender’s attention, she motioned her over.
“Let me have another beer,” she said, “and send two down the bar to the women at the end. With my compliments.”
The bartender nodded and moved away. When she set the bottles down in front of Kyle, she leaned over toward her.
“From your friend over there,” she motioned.
Kyle followed the woman’s gaze. She flushed when she saw Brad staring coolly down the length of the bar at her. She tried to ignore the excitement stirred by Brad’s lean, leather-clad figure.
Nancy watched the exchange with interest. “What’s happening?”
Kyle turned back to face her. “We just got drinks—from Brad.”
Nancy looked down the bar and immediately saw a dark-haired woman, dressed in a black leather vest and pants, staring pointedly at them. Nancy stared back, but Brad’s features never changed. Brad raised her beer to her lips, her eyes locked on Nancy’s face.
“Whew,” Nancy said, finally breaking away from the woman’s hypnotic face. “She is something.”
“Uh-huh,” Kyle said, keeping her eyes on the bar in front of her.
“So, now what happens?” Nancy asked eagerly.
“Damned if I know,” Kyle said.
Nancy looked surprised. “Aren’t you supposed to do something?”
Kyle looked at Nancy in exasperation. “What do you want me to do? Take my clothes off?”
“Well, you’d better think of something,” Nancy said with a surreptitious glance over her shoulder. “Here she comes.”
Brad stopped in front of the pair, appearing to tower over them even though she was smaller than them both.
“Ladies,” she said smoothly. She stood casually, her legs slightly apart, her beer bottle dangling from her fingers, resting against her thigh.
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