My mother walks over to stand right in front of me. “I guess this job is better than you taking your clothes off all the time. So I approve.”

Rolling my eyes at her, I wrap my arms around her shoulders and pull her in for a hug. “Thanks, Mom.”

She pulls back after a few seconds and sighs. “Now I don’t have any excuse to buy that Maximus magazine anymore if you aren’t in it. Where am I going to get my information on s-e-x and relationships?”

Matt’s father walks up and holds his elbow out for her to take. “How about you and I take a seat, Miss McCarty? I can tell you about the things I learned at Paige’s photo shoot the other day. Did you know men wear skirts now?”

My mother links her hand through his arm. “Maybe we can exchange information, Mr. Russo. My friend Eunice told me about this new thing called roofies.”

I stare in shock as the two of them go back over to the chairs against the wall to continue their discussion. Luckily, Kennedy comes up and takes my mind off of the thought of my mother slipping Mr. Russo a roofie in Jell-O salad.

“I’m going to say something right now, and after I’m finished, we’re going to pretend like it never happened, got it?”

I nod at her even though I have no idea what’s happening right now.

“Paige, I love you. You are an amazing friend. I even love that you force me to get my hair highlighted every six weeks. I’m sorry if you ever thought you needed to prove something to me. I have never thought of you as just a pretty face or not good enough for anything more challenging at the office. I respect you and everything you’ve done with your life.”

This is all I ever wanted—to be taken seriously by my friends and family. The fact that it’s happening all at the same time is more than a little overwhelming. The fact that it’s so heartfelt and sweet coming from Kennedy is nothing short of a miracle.

“Kennedy, I . . .”

She puts her hand up in front of me. “And now begins the portion of our evening where we forget this ever happened. Good work today, Paige. You’ve earned that promotion. I’m going to go home now, watch football, drink beer, and do anything else un-girly that I can think of.”

“You could do me. I’m about as un-girly as it gets,” Griffin teases.

Kennedy looks at Griffin like she wants to rip his clothes off right in the middle of the station. She grabs his hand and I smile as the two of them walk over to a quiet corner.

Matt stands in the middle of the room with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. I start to walk over to him when I hear my name called. Turning around, I see Andy standing in the doorway.

“Can I talk to you?” he asks.

I know exactly what he’s going to say. He’s going to beg for my forgiveness and tell me he was an idiot. He might even add in a few promises that he’s going to change.

Been there, done that, don’t want to hear it. A few months ago, I might have given him a chance to explain and even told him that I forgive him. I’ve let him control the way I feel and the way I think for far too long. Lorelei was right. I’m the only one who controls my destiny, and right now, my destiny is screaming at me to man up and put an end to this bullshit once and for all.

Turning away from Matt, I stalk over to Andy and hold myself tall.

“Andy, I couldn’t care less what you have to say to me. You are a pathetic excuse for a man, and I’m sorry I ever wasted my time with you. The lying, gambling, getting mixed up with the Mob and expecting me to bail you out, making me feel like I wasn’t good enough for all those years—it’s over. It should have been over the day I kicked your ass to the curb. Have a nice life. And if you ever even think of picking up the phone and calling me again, I will shove my Louboutins so far up your ass you’ll taste leather.”

Dismissing him with a turn of my body, I leave him standing in the doorway with his mouth gaping open.

Matt opens his arms and I walk right into them, burying my face into his chest.

Kennedy starts to clap from the corner of the room and I suddenly realize that everyone in here heard my entire tirade.

“That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard,” Kennedy announces.

“Is that a tear? Are you crying?” Ted asks, staring at her in astonishment.

“Shut the hell up. There’s nothing more moving than watching a worthless man have his ass handed to him. I’m so proud,” Kennedy says as she beams at me.

Matt hugs me closer to him and I tilt my head back to look up at him.

“So, Miss Hotshot PI, it looks like all of your dreams have come true.”

I stand up on my tiptoes so we’re eye level. “Not all of them. Not yet, at least.”

He was seconds away from telling me that he loved me back in the abandoned church. I didn’t just stop him because I wanted it to happen someplace a little more romantic. I stopped him because I wanted to make sure he really meant it when he said it. I wanted to be certain that he didn’t have any lingering feelings left over for Melanie.

He looks at me in confusion and before I can elaborate, there’s a commotion behind us.

“Matthew! Don’t let them put me in jail!” Melanie shouts as she’s taken past the waiting area with two police officers flanked on either side of her. “I forgive you for not paying enough attention to me. We can work this out!”

Her shouts are cut off as the officers lead her into the interview room and shut the door behind them.

Matt looks back down at me and when he sees the worry on my face, he smiles. “You stalked me, put your friendships on the line to catch Melanie, and saved your sorry excuse for an ex-husband. It’s been a crazy month, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Melanie doesn’t, nor will she ever, hold a candle to you. I’m sorry for ever thinking I couldn’t trust you, Paige McCarty. There’s no one else in this world I could ever rely on more.”

“No, I don’t need assistance with a subpoena delivery. I’m pretty sure I can handle it,” Lorelei tells Dallas sarcastically on the other side of the room.

“Are you sure about that, lawyer? We wouldn’t want you to accidentally cut the poor guy’s balls off with that sharp attitude of yours,” Dallas replies.

Lorelei huffs. “Don’t you have anything better to do, like club a woman over the head and take her back to your cave?”

I roll my eyes at their typical exchange and block out their voices, content to just concentrate on the man holding me in his arms.

Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs in life. Sometimes you have to marry a frog and then learn how to be strong again after that frog turns into an ass. But eventually, Prince Charming will finally show his face and make all those damn frogs before him worth it.

EPILOGUE

Two weeks later . . .

Can we get everyone a refill? I’d like to do a toast,” Kennedy announces.

Griffin walks around Fool Me Once Investigations and adds champagne to everyone’s glasses.

I stare around the room at my friends and family. Kennedy is curled up against Griffin’s side, Lorelei is shooting daggers at Dallas as he lounges against the wall, Ted is listening to my mother scold him about police response time, and Mr. Russo is standing next to Matt and me, complaining about the state of a world where nice, older women are forced to take matters into their own hands to catch a hardened criminal.

Vinnie DeMarco survived the bullet my mother lodged in his thigh and is now in jail, awaiting trial for all of his crimes. I wasn’t able to get him on tape admitting his wrongdoings, but with eyewitness testimonies from Melanie and me, his fate was sealed. It also helped that he was so afraid of my mother shooting him again that he confessed to all of his sins in the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Giovanni was so traumatized after watching his boss take a bullet from an old lady, and then getting beat up by said old lady and her friends, that he took a plea bargain and gave Vinnie up. There is no way Vinnie DeMarco will be able to escape the many years of prison time that are in his future now.

My mother and her friends were hailed as heroes at Saint Michael’s for their detective work in finding out who stole the Communion hosts. It turns out I was right about Father Bob looking guilty. He had a serious gambling addiction, and when he couldn’t pay Vinnie the money he owed him, Vinnie sent Giovanni to the church to collect his debts in the form of enough Communion for every church service for the next five years, and every single gold chalice and church heirloom he could stuff in his bag. The Communion wasn’t worth a dime to him, but it was Vinnie’s way of sticking it to Father Bob. Father Bob became so paranoid that the Catholic Church would find out what he’d been doing, strip him of his clergy status, and take away his church that he began stealing money from women’s purses during Altar and Rosary meetings. My mother, Fran, and Eunice caught him red-handed and made him ’fess up.

My mother apologized to Father John at Holy Cross for wrongly accusing him, and they have since asked him to join their congregation. My mother, Eunice, and Fran have also started up a community watch program called The Golden Girls: We’re Armed and Dangerous. So far they have twenty-five members. I hope to God they don’t all buy guns, or the police force will have to look for a new line of work.

After Melanie was questioned, she was sent off with a warning to stay as far away from the Mob as possible and not do anything stupid, or else a prison tat on her ass would be the least of her worries. The next day, she immediately signed the divorce papers for Matt and told him she didn’t want his father’s company after all. Vinnie had given her enough money in the year and a half they dated that she was able to save quite a nice chunk of change. She wouldn’t need a job for quite a while. Little does she know, though, that that money has all been earmarked as stolen, and it will be disappearing from her bank account before she can make it to the mall.

Andy is still Andy. Nearly dying because of his gambling debt didn’t change him at all. Last I heard, he decided to move to Vegas and become a professional poker player. My guess is that he’ll be slinking back home with his tail between his legs very soon. Or the Vegas Mob will get hold of him and we’ll never hear from him again. One can only hope.

“Everyone, please raise your glasses,” Kennedy tells the room.

We all comply, and Kennedy smiles at me. “I’m going to keep this short and sweet because I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough lately with my girly speeches. To one of my best friends—Paige. You’ve annoyed the hell out of me with salon appointments and shopping trips, but you have proven to be an asset to Fool Me Once Investigations,” she announces. “With your help, the South Bend Police Department was able to take down one of the largest crime rings in the city, and Fool Me Once got credit for it. I am officially promoting you to lead investigator, and you are free to handle any case that comes in.”

Everyone claps, cheers, and whistles before taking a drink of champagne. I hold my glass in front of me without taking a sip while the conversations resume around me.

“Hey, why didn’t you drink to that? It’s awesome news and I’m so proud of you,” Matt tells me.

Setting my glass down on the closest desk, I turn and cock my head at him. “I guess I’m just in shock. I mean, this is what I’ve always wanted—to be taken seriously.”

I trail off and Matt sets his own glass down and gathers me to him. “But?”

“But there’s just one thing missing. Something I never thought I would ever want again. Something I stopped believing in a long time ago,” I tell him softly, bringing my hands up to cradle his face. “I love you, Matt Russo.”

Matt smiles and rests his forehead against mine. “I love you, Paige. I’m so glad you thought I was a cheater.”

I laugh and he presses his lips against mine. We get caught up in the kiss and don’t even realize that everyone in the room has their eyes on us until we hear someone clear their throat.

“You seem like a nice young man, Matthew. But if you cheat on my daughter, there will be nowhere for you to hide,” my mother threatens him.

“Don’t you worry, pretty lady. I’ll make sure my boy stays in line,” Mr. Russo assures my mother, walking up next to her.

“Is someone going to order food? I’ve got to take my arthritis pills,” my mother announces to the room at large.