“I don’t know, Mum,” I say desperately. “Listen, I’ve got to go, OK? There’s someone at the door. But I’ll talk to you soon!”

I put down the phone and bury my head in my hands.

“What am I going to do?” I say hopelessly. “What am I going to do, Suze? I can’t tell them I’ve been fired. I just can’t.” To my dismay, tears squeeze out of the sides of my eyes. “They’re so proud of me. And I just keep letting them down.”

“You don’t let them down!” retorts Suze hotly. “It wasn’t your fault that stupid Morning Coffee completely overreacted. And I bet they’re regretting it now. I mean, look at her!”

She turns up the sound, and Clare’s voice drones sternly through the room. “Those who fail to provide for their own retirement are the equivalent of leeches on the rest of us.”

“I say,” says Rory. “Isn’t that a bit harsh?”

“I mean, listen to her!” says Suze. “She’s awful!”

“Maybe she is,” I say after a pause. “But even if they get rid of her too they’ll never ask me back. It would be like saying they made a mistake.”

“They have made a mistake!”

The phone rings again and she looks at me. “Are you in or out?”

“Out. And you don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“OK…” She picks up the phone. “Hello? Sorry, Becky’s out at the moment.”

“Wendy, you’ve made every mistake possible,” Clare Edwards is saying on the screen. “Have you never heard of a deposit account? And as for remortgaging your house to buy a boat…”

“No, I don’t know when she’ll be back,” says Suze. “Would you like me to take a message?” She picks up a pen and starts writing. “OK… fine… yes. Yes, I’ll tell her. Thanks.”

“So,” I say as she puts the phone down. “Who was that?”

And I know it’s stupid — but as I look up at her, I can’t help feeling a hot flicker of hope. Maybe it was a producer from another show. Maybe it was someone wanting to offer me my own column. Maybe it was John Gavin, ringing to apologize and offer me free, unlimited overdraft facilities. Maybe it was the one phone call that will make everything all right.

“It was Mel. Luke’s assistant.”

“Oh.” I stare at her in apprehension. “What did she want?”

“Apparently some parcel has arrived at the office, addressed to you. From the States. From Barnes & Noble.”

I stare at her blankly — then, with a pang, suddenly remember that trip to Barnes & Noble I made with Luke. I bought a whole pile of coffee-table books, and Luke suggested I send them back on the company courier bill instead of lugging them around. It seems like a million years ago now.

“Oh yes, I know what that is.” I hesitate. “Did she… mention Luke?”

“No,” says Suze apologetically. “She just said pop in anytime you want. And she said she was really sorry about what happened… and if you ever want a chat, just call.”

“Right.” I hunch my shoulders up, hug my knees, and turn up the television volume.


For the next few days, I tell myself I won’t bother going. I don’t really want those books anymore. And I can’t quite cope with the thought of having to go in there — having to face all the curious looks from Luke’s staff, and hold my head up and pretend to be OK.

But then, gradually, I start to think I’d like to see Mel. She’s the only one I can talk to who really knows Luke, and it would be nice to have a heart-to-heart with her. Plus, she might have heard something of what’s going on in the States. I know Luke and I are effectively over, I know it’s really nothing to do with me anymore. But I still can’t help caring about whether he’s got his deal or not.

So four days later, at about six o’clock in the evening, I walk slowly toward the doors of Brandon Communications, my heart thumping. Luckily it’s the friendly doorman on duty. He’s seen me visit enough times to just wave me in, so I don’t have to have any big announcements of my arrival.

I walk out of the lift at the fifth floor, and to my surprise, there’s no one on reception. How weird. I wait for a few seconds — then wander past the desk and down the main corridor. Gradually my steps slow down — and a puzzled frown comes to my face. There’s something wrong here. Something different.

It’s too quiet. The whole place is practically dead. When I look across the open-plan space, most of the chairs are empty. There aren’t any phones ringing; there aren’t any people striding about; there aren’t brainstorming sessions going on.

What’s going on? What’s happened to the buzzy Brandon C atmosphere? What’s happened to Luke’s company?

As I pass the coffee machine, two guys I half-recognize are standing, talking by it. One’s got a disgruntled expression and the other is agreeing — but I can’t quite hear what they’re talking about. As I come near, they stop abruptly. They shoot me curious looks, then glance at each other and walk off, before starting to talk again, but in lowered voices.

I can’t quite believe this is Brandon Communications. There’s a completely different feel about the place. This is like some deadbeat company where no one cares about what they’re doing. I walk to Mel’s desk — and, along with everyone else, she’s already left for the night. Mel, who normally stays till at least seven, then takes a glass of wine and gets changed in the loos for whatever great night out she’s got planned.

I root around behind her chair until I find the parcel addressed to me, and scribble a note to her on a Post-it. Then I stand up, hugging the heavy package to me, and tell myself that I’ve got what I came for. Now I should leave. There’s nothing to keep me.

But instead of walking away, I stand motionless. Staring at Luke’s closed office door.

Luke’s office. There are probably faxes from him in there. Messages about how things are going in New York. Maybe even messages about me. As I gaze at the smooth blank wood, I feel almost overwhelmed by an urge to go in and find out what I can.

But then — what exactly would I do? Look through his files? Listen to his voice mail? I mean, what if someone caught me?

I’m standing there, torn — knowing I’m not really going to go and rifle through his stuff, yet unable just to walk away — when suddenly I stiffen in shock. The handle of his office door is starting to move.

Oh shit. Shit. There’s someone in there! They’re coming out!

In a moment of pure panic, I find myself ducking down out of sight, behind Mel’s chair. As I curl up into a tiny ball I feel a thrill of terror, like a child playing hide-and-seek. I hear some voices murmuring — and then the door swings open and someone comes out. From my vantage point, all I can see is that it’s a female, and she’s wearing those new Chanel shoes which cost an absolute bomb. She’s followed by two pairs of male legs, and the three begin to walk down the corridor. I can’t resist peeping out from behind the chair — and of course. It’s Alicia Bitch Longlegs, with Ben Bridges and a man who looks familiar but whom I can’t quite place.

Well, I suppose that’s fair enough. She’s in charge while Luke is away. But does she have to take over Luke’s office? I mean, why can’t she just use a meeting room?

“Sorry we had to meet here,” I can just hear her saying. “Obviously, next time, it’ll be at 17 King Street.”

They continue talking until they reach the lifts, and I pray desperately that they’ll all get inside one and disappear. But as the lift doors ping open, only the familiar-looking man gets in — and a moment later, Alicia and Ben are heading back toward Luke’s office.

“I’ll just get those files,” says Alicia, and goes back into Luke’s office, leaving the door open. Meanwhile, Ben is lolling against the water dispenser, pressing the buttons on his watch and staring intently at the tiny screen.

This is horrendous! I’m trapped until they leave. My knees are starting to hurt and I’ve got an awful feeling that if I move an inch, one of them will crack. What if Ben and Alicia stay here all night? What if they come over to Mel’s desk? What if they decide to make love on Mel’s desk?

“OK,” says Alicia, suddenly appearing at the door. “I think that’s it. Good meeting, I thought.”

“I suppose.” Ben looks up from his watch. “Do you think Frank’s right? Do you think he might sue?”

Frank! Of course. That other man was Frank Harper. The publicity guy from Bank of London. I used to see him at press conferences.

“He won’t sue,” says Alicia calmly. “He’s got too much face to lose.”

“He’s lost a fair amount already,” says Ben, raising his eyebrows. “He’ll be the invisible man before too long.”

“True,” says Alicia, and smirks back at him. She looks at the pile of folders in her arms. “Have I got everything? I think so. Right, I’m off. Ed will be waiting for me. See you tomorrow.”

They both disappear down the corridor and this time, thank God, they get into a lift. When I’m quite sure they’ve gone, I sit back on my heels with a puzzled frown. What’s going on? Why were they talking about suing? Suing who? And how come Bank of London was here?

Is Bank of London going to sue Luke? It sounds like everything’s a complete mess! I thought Alicia was supposed to have everything under control.

For a while I just sit still, trying to work it all out. But I’m not really getting anywhere — and suddenly it occurs to me that I ought to get out while the going’s good. I get up, wincing at the cramp in my foot, and shake out my legs as the circulation returns to them. Then I pick up my parcel, shake back my head, and as nonchalantly as possible, walk down the corridor toward the lifts. Just as I’m pressing the “Summon” button, my mobile phone rings inside my bag, and I give a startled jump. Shit, my phone! Thank God that didn’t happen while I was hiding behind Mel’s desk!

“Hello?” I say, as I get into the lift.

“Bex! It’s Suze.”

“Suze!” I say, and give a shaky giggle. “You have no idea how you nearly just got me in trouble! If you’d rung like, five minutes ago, you would have completely…”

“Bex, listen,” says Suze urgently. “You’ve just had a call.”

“Oh right?” I press the ground-floor button. “From who?”

“From Zelda at Morning Coffee! She wants to talk to you! She said, do you want to meet for a quick lunch tomorrow?”


That night, I barely get an hour’s sleep. Suze and I stay up till late, deciding on what I should wear — and when I’ve gone to bed, I lie awake, staring at the ceiling, feeling my mind flip around like a fish. Will they offer my old job back after all? Will they offer me a different job? Maybe they’ll upgrade me! Maybe they’ll give me my own show!

But by the early hours of the morning, all my wild fantasies have faded away, leaving the simple truth. The truth is, all I really want is my old job back. I want to be able to tell Mum to start watching again, and to start paying off my overdraft… and to start my life all over again. Another chance. That’s all I want.

“You see?” says Suze the next morning as I’m getting ready. “You see? I knew they’d want you back. That Clare Edwards is crap! Completely and utterly—”

“Suze,” I interrupt. “How do I look?”

“Very good,” says Suze, looking me up and down approvingly. I’m wearing my black Banana Republic trousers and a pale fitted jacket over a white shirt, and a dark green scarf round my neck.

I would have worn my Denny and George scarf — in fact, I even picked it up from the dressing table. But then, almost immediately, I put it down again. I don’t quite know why.

“Very kick-ass,” adds Suze. “Where are you having lunch?”

“Lorenzo’s.”

“San Lorenzo?” Her eyes widen impressively.

“No, I don’t think so. Just… Lorenzo’s. I’ve never been there before.”

“Well, you make sure you order champagne,” says Suze. “And tell them you’re fighting off loads of other offers, so if they want you to come back, they’re going to have to pay big bucks. That’s the deal, take it or leave it.”

“Right,” I say, unscrewing my mascara.

“If their margins suffer, then so be it,” says Suze emphatically. “For a quality product you have to pay quality prices. You want to close the deal at your price, on your terms.”

“Suze…” I stop, mascara wand on my lashes. “Where are you getting all this stuff?”

“What stuff?”

“All this… margins and close the deal stuff.”

“Oh, that! From the Hadleys conference. We had a seminar from one of the top salespeople in the U.S.! It was great! You know, a product is only as good as the person selling it.”

“If you say so.” I pick up my bag and check that I’ve got everything — then look up and take a deep breath. “Right, I’m going.”