Rina rolled her eyes. "That sounds like Emma, all right. Which just goes to show you, even her own social life doesn't keep her busy enough to keep her from meddling."

"Nothing could," Cat said. "Listen, before I forget, the reason I called is that I left my favorite serving dish at your house the other night."

"It's all cleaned for you." Rina drew a deep breath. "How about we meet for lunch sometime next week and I'll return it then?"

Because in her heart she realized that Ashford was home and she couldn't bear to leave it or the friends she'd begun to make here, regardless of whether Colin decided to stay or go.

"Sounds good."

After agreeing on an exact day and time, Rina hung up the phone and stared around her small apartment. If she closed her eyes, she could see Colin everywhere. He'd made such a big impact in the weekend he'd spent here.

And she missed him now. But how much worse would the ache be if she let things get even more serious and then he took off? She'd lost Robert in an unexpected, devastating tragedy and she'd promised herself from the beginning that she wouldn't get emotionally involved with Colin because he'd never said he was staying. She didn't want her heart broken again. But control was an illusion and she'd fallen in love despite it all. With a man who would probably leave at the first opportunity, whether he knew it yet or not. His history spoke louder than his words.

She rubbed her aching temples. She didn't know what, if anything, Colin wanted out of their relationship. There was no denying he understood and accepted Rina for who and what she was. The question was, did she accept him?


* * *

COLIN HAD SPENT a long week gathering information. From the accountants, he'd learned that things were on a slow upswing. From old and loyal advertisers who'd slowly begun to pull out or take less space, he'd discovered that they liked the new offerings but not in place of hard news. The old format or some semblance thereof would entice them to advertise more in the hopes of reaching more people again. Especially if Colin promised to stay in town and run things along with Corinne.

And the head guys at Fortune's had latched on to the financial upswing, too. Because of their loyalty to Joe, they'd agreed to ride out the problems for a while longer. The conservative advertiser could live with the risqué quality of the columns, as long as it wasn't shoved in people's faces over breakfast.

From the bank, Colin found out that he qualified for a line of credit, one that would enable him to pay back the lender, and leave the fate of the paper solely within Colin's hands. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of it sooner. The line of credit was the only means to convince Rina he had faith in her column, her vision, and in her. It was the only thing he could think of to secure their future. If she bailed on him after that, he couldn't say he hadn't tried.

When his doorbell rang late New Year's Eve, he was surprised, since he had no plans and wasn't expecting company. He zipped his jeans, skipping the button. Whoever wanted to talk to him would just have to deal with his couch-potato casual dress.

He pulled open the door, shocked when he came face-to-face with Rina. He hadn't expected to see her until after the new year and had resigned himself to leaving her alone since that's what she seemed to want. At least until he had his proof compiled and groveling speech ready, of course.

"This is a surprise." He stepped back to let her inside, hoping he wouldn't do something to scare her off before he had a chance to find out what she wanted.

"I had to talk to you and it wasn't something I could do at work." She bit down on her lower lip. "Can I take off my coat and stay awhile?"

She could stay forever, but he doubted she was ready to hear that. "Sure thing." He helped her off with her jacket and hung it on the rack in the entryway, then gestured for her to head up the stairs.

Following behind, he couldn't keep his eyes off her jean-clad behind, swaying as she walked, and he was hard in an instant. He needed to make her his once more. Not just in a primal male way, but in a completely permanent one.

She stood by the couch and turned toward him, a file folder clutched against her chest.

"What do you have there?" he asked.

"Something that I think will simplify your life." She reached inside the manila folder and pulled out a single sheet of white paper. "I know that our relationship complicated your goals for the paper, and with Joe sick, you need to do what's right for the Times, not for me. So here."

His stomach in knots, he accepted the paper and skimmed the contents of the letter, his gut cramping more with each word. "You're resigning?"

She nodded, her eyes sad and huge. "You don't need to tiptoe around my feelings anymore or worry about what I'll think of you." She let out a laugh. "Not that I'm saying you worry at all about what I think of you, but I was hoping this would make any decisions easier on you."

"Are you finished?" he asked when she'd stopped rambling.

"Yes."

He held up the paper and ripped it in half. "Don't want it, don't need it. But I do want to know what the hell would possess you to quit a job you obviously love so much?"

"All good things must come to an end. And you said yourself, the paper's in financial trouble and getting rid of the newer columnists is the solution."

He raised an eyebrow. "I also remember saying I hoped to save both your job and Emma's."

"Hope isn't definite. And you need to concentrate on what's best for the paper, not what's best for me."

"But you believe I want to save your job?"

One side of her mouth lifted. He'd take the first half smile in over a week as a positive sign.

"Yeah, I do," she said at last.

"And if I said I had saved your column, that you still had a job, would you stay?"

"Is that a hypothetical question? Because I don't think I can play games anymore."

For the first time he noticed the stress in her taut expression and the darker circles under her eyes. Well, at least she wasn't getting any more sleep than he was. Reaching out, he grasped her hand. "I'm not looking to play games, either. It's an honest question."

She glanced down at their intertwined hands, his darker skin, her softer, whiter flesh. "I'm staying whether or not there's a place for me at the Times," she admitted. "Ashford is home now."

He released a harsh breath. Now that, he hadn't expected to hear. "Rina?"

She glanced up to meet his gaze.

"I'm glad."

She blinked, moisture filling her eyes. "You are? Why? Will you stay long enough for it to matter?"

"I told you the other day, I'm not going anywhere. My family is here, my new job is here, and most importantly, you're here."

"Your family's always been here."

He laughed. "Leave it to you to point out the obvious. Yes, my family's always been here, but my heart hasn't been."

She searched his expression, obviously looking deeper inside him. "And now it is?"

He paused, wondering how to explain something he'd only just come to terms with himself. "I needed to face my past in order to have a future. Or at least a stable one, anyway. I've done that now." He squeezed her hand tighter. "Thanks to you. From the day I met you, I recognized you were special. That you had the ability to change me."

Rina's heart felt full. She didn't know whether to laugh because she seemed on the verge of getting everything she wanted, or cry because she was so afraid he was saying the words he wanted to believe but wasn't ready to act on. She was still afraid she'd lose him to his emotional fear.

Then again, there was the real possibility it was still her fear she was dealing with, not his. Knowing she had one chance left with Colin, she listened with an open mind, and she hoped with an open heart. "Change you how?" she asked.

"For the better, of course." He winked, then sobered quickly, looking at her with those intense blue eyes she adored. "I never let Joe and Nell inside." He tapped his chest. "I couldn't because I feared it would mean being disloyal to my parents and losing them forever."

He shook his head. "Of course, they were already gone, but I didn't want to face that. So I ran. First into a marriage that was doomed from the start because we were so different, and then abroad. But now I've come home and faced the fact that I almost lost Joe. So I'm through running. I've got too much going for me here."

Rina tipped her head to one side. "Am I included in all that?"

"As long as you've stopped running, too." He gestured to the torn resignation pages that had dropped to the floor. "That was my doing. But you're the one who has to have the courage to stick around. I know you said you're staying, but…"

"Are you calling me a coward?" Rina tried to play things light but the situation was too serious. Too much was at stake, and her joking words fell flat.

Placing an arm around her shoulder, he lowered her to the couch, then met her gaze. "I can't promise you I won't up and die on you, sweetheart," he said, nailing her biggest fear.

Her heart began a rapid, pounding beat and her pulse rate skyrocketed. For the first time since knowing Colin, sexual desire wasn't the cause. Pure adrenaline was. That old fight-or-flight mechanism.

The time had come for her to make a stand. As Colin had done, she had to face her past and reach out for what she wanted, or regret it for the rest of her life. She'd come here intending to bare her feelings, but now fear lodged in her throat.

But she was letting it go. To move forward, not away. "I can't promise you I won't panic every once in a while," she warned him.

"I can handle a little panic," he said wryly. "In fact, I've gotten used to going out on a limb. I've talked Corinne into taking a second mortgage on their place. And I've co-signed for a loan, as well. I've held off the advertisers with a promise of better returns next quarter, and I paid off the guy who lent us money to keep the paper afloat. The only people controlling the Times now are me and Corinne. We're running things together." He laughed. "Who'd have thought?"

She blinked, stunned at his news. For one thing, he was working with Corinne, though she shouldn't be surprised. He'd do anything for Joe. Then there was his second bit of news. "You put Joe's place-and your finances-on the line for the paper?"

He shook his head vehemently, shocking her. "I did it for you."

"What?" She wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly.

"I could have continued to use Ron's money and pay off the loan as the paper steadily gets back on its feet. He was willing. But I don't want you to ever doubt that I have faith in you or your abilities."

Her heart soared higher than it had minutes earlier, strengthening the resolve she'd had all along to risk her heart on this man.

"Colin, I'm sorry. Because I feared another loss, I blamed you for not telling me about the loan, the paper, everything. But that was my problem to resolve, not yours. You never had to prove anything to me." But he cared enough to try and she loved him even more for it. "And now you've risked so much for me…I don't know what to say."

"I do." He treated her to the endearing, sexy grin she'd missed in the last week.

She leaned closer, waiting.

He stroked her cheek and an erotic, tingling sensation shot a path to her belly. A delicious, curling warmth settled inside her.

"You can say you love me, too," he said.

She sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled as everything she'd dreamed of fell squarely into her lap. "You love me?"

"That's what I said."

"In a backhanded way."

"Okay, so call it guy-speak. In female terms, that would be those infamous three words. I love you."

He grinned, but she didn't miss the apprehension in his voice and she put him out of his misery. "I love you, too."

He met her lips with his in a kiss much needed and long overdue. His tongue swept over her mouth and she opened wide, allowing him inside…and into her heart.

Too soon, he broke the kiss and reached over, pulling open a drawer in the table at the end of the couch. "I left your Christmas party with this still in my jacket. I didn't think I'd get the chance to give it to you." He opened his hand and revealed a bangle bracelet with tiny diamonds embedded in gold.

She sucked in a startled breath. "It's beautiful," she murmured as he snapped it on her wrist.

"I stared at it for many lonely nights, imagining what it would look like on your wrist." He tilted his head and met her gaze. "Merry Christmas, Rina."