Carly Phillips - Simply Sinful

“Not quite everything.” He stepped toward her, determined, sexy and sure. Just as he had been the first time, when her life had changed forever.

He grasped her hand and held on tight. He might as well have gripped her heart in his fist. “Did you ever think I didn’t say the word goodbye because I didn’t mean it?” he asked.

Frustration filled her. She’d had enough of double-talk, word games and drawing out the inevitable pain. “Just like you didn’t say I love you because you don’t?” She regretted the impulsive, straight-talking words the minute they left her mouth, but once spoken, the truth lay between them.

She tried to jerk her hand free, but he held on with an iron grip. Ignoring his heat was impossible. As always, it elicited an answering liquid warmth inside of her.

She resented the easy hold he had over her, the way he could make her react despite her better judgment. She sighed. “Look, I accepted your limitations, Kane. Now accept mine. You know how I feel about you, so please respect me enough to…”

“Explain?”

“I have a pretty good handle on the whys. I’d rather you just left me alone. It’s better for both of us. I know for sure you feel the same way.”

“That’s what I thought. What I kept telling myself, even as I walked out your front door. But it’s not true. I’m a better man with you by my side…and I’d like to think the reverse is true.”

His sheepish grin gave rise to spiraling hope deep inside her. Foolish hope. But he had come back. And that was more than she’d ever thought possible.

“And even if you’re better off without me, I’m selfish enough to ask you to stay with me anyway.”

Kayla’s heartbeat tripled and she could barely catch her breath. Kane had never spoken beyond the present before and that was promising. But many other words had been spoken, too.

“What about your edge?” she asked carefully, working hard to bank her hope and her emotions. “You said I distract you…I threaten your ability to be the best cop, the best man, you can be.”

“I was wrong. You make me be the best I can be.” His fingers tightened around hers. “You were right. I’ve been hanging on to a lot of old guilt, trying to atone with each new case, and making sure I remained miserable in the process.”

The future suddenly loomed wide before her, full of possibilities. Full of love. She’d invested all her hopes in this man and he’d come through. She hoped she could repay the gift with a lifetime of love and acceptance.

She glanced at his strained expression, a result of facing his past and baring his soul. For her. “She was your mother. She wouldn’t have wanted that, Kane.”

He nodded. Kane had told himself the same thing. “I know that now.” Reid’s unwavering faith in him over the years had finally sunk into his thick skull.

The older man had been right. He’d stopped feeling the day his mother walked in front of that bus. And he hadn’t started again until he’d walked in this front door for the first time.

“I haven’t given you much reason to believe this, but you’re wrong.” He looked into liquid green eyes and for the first time let himself hope for the future. “I didn’t say I love you-not because I don’t, but because I was afraid I didn’t deserve you.”

“And now?” A pink flush stained her cheeks.

“I still don’t deserve you, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let you go.”

“There’s that control thing again,” she said with a laugh.

Her huge smile eased the tightening in his chest he’d been living with all week. The tightening in other areas, well, Kayla would ease that as well.

“I might let you get away with it this time.” She braced her hands on his shoulders. “But you have to say the words, Kane.”

He met her gaze head on. “I love you,” he said.

She threw herself against his chest, crushing her breasts against him. He inhaled her lemony scent and groaned aloud. “I could get used to this,” he said and laughed.

“You’d better, because now that I’ve got you, I’m not letting you go, either.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Her hands slipped downward and into the back pockets of his old jeans. She gripped him hard in both hands.

“I hope you’re thinking what I’m thinking,” Kane said. “Because, otherwise, you’re playing with fire.”

Her soft laugh inflamed his desire. “Want to get Lucky, Detective?”

Those were the last words spoken between them for a good, long while.

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