Beth Kery - Since I Saw You

“She is loyal to you. No doubt about it,” Kam mused, feeling a little defeated at the very idea. There was no way he could compete with the years of experience, family ties, and close working relationship Lin shared with Ian.

Ian grimaced slightly and sat forward, bracing his forearms on his desk.

“Are you doing anything in particular to convince her?”

Kam blinked. “I told you how I plan to incentivize her.”

“Not like work incentives. I mean anything personal to set the atmosphere. Woo her. Are you taking her out to a nice dinner, at least, in order to broach the topic?” Ian persisted when Kam just stared at him in blank bemusement. “It’s a big deal what you’re proposing to do. You should do it right.”

“Are you giving me hints for how to convince Lin to work for me?” Kam asked incredulously.

“It looks like someone has to,” Ian muttered under his breath. “Take her out to a nice dinner. Order champagne. Get her some flowers.”

“Flowers?” Kam repeated.

“Yes,” Ian agreed as if warming to the subject. He picked up his phone and began tapping on the screen. “Get her purple lotuses. They’re her favorite. I’ll give you the number of the only florist in town that sells them. The owner grows them specifically for me to get for Lin. They’re extremely rare flowers. I’ve texted you the number of the florist,” he said, setting down his phone. “Kam?” he asked when Kam just sat there, frozen.

A strange wind seemed to be rushing in his ears. A vision of all those carefully preserved lotus flowers sitting in Lin’s bedside table drawer flashed before his eyes.

Lin had said she’d been in love before. When Kam had asked her what had happened she’d said . . .

. . . Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He was someone else’s, never mine.

He heard her voice as if she’d just spoken. She’d sounded sad. Resigned. If there was one woman he knew who could contain her sadness and pain and face each day with a determined smile, it was Lin. He’d always sensed that trace of sadness to her, a hint of loneliness. He just hadn’t fully realized the origins of it until now.

Lin was in love with Ian. Of course she was. She’d never revealed her secret because she’d sensed Ian didn’t return her feelings.

She was attracted to him—Kam—because he resembled Ian.

“Kam?” Ian repeated, bringing him out of his analytic trance. “Are you all right? You looked like you’d seen a ghost all of a sudden.”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks for the advice,” Kam mumbled as he stood. It all seemed so obvious now. Everyone said they’d never witnessed loyalty and devotion like Lin showed Ian. Ian was handsome, powerful, sophisticated, rich, and brilliant—the very epitome of what a woman would find attractive. She’d first met him when she’d been an impressionable teenager. It was no surprise she idolized him from the start. An entire generation of people Ian’s age and younger idolized him, not only for all he’d accomplished, but also for his influence in the social media and electronic-gaming sectors.

Ian had given Lin those flowers over the years, and Lin had carefully saved and preserved them near where she’d dreamed night after night. Those dried flowers were the only visible symbol of a passion she’d vowed to keep hidden.

She should have told him. Didn’t he have a right to know why she found him attractive? Was the hesitance he sensed in her at times inspired by guilt on her part? Did she know she was wrong in using him as a substitute for another man?

He bid Ian good-bye and left his office. Ian had been right. Kam had seen a ghost of sorts. It’d been himself. He’d been the phantom in his affair with Lin, a blurry, shadowy facsimile of the man she loved.

Lin’s phone began to ring as she walked through the main lobby at Northwestern Memorial. She’d seen Richard and Emile, and both of them were in reasonably good spirits. Much to her relief, she learned that Richard’s prognosis was very good.

She suppressed her disappointment when she saw it wasn’t Kam calling.

“Ian? Hi,” she said into the phone, pausing in front of a floor-to-ceiling window near the lobby exit.

“How’s Richard?” he asked.

“He’ll be fine. A pretty severe infection had set in, so the doctor recommended a course of IV antibiotics. That was why it necessitated an inpatient stay. They say he’s going to recover quickly, though. Lucien just left and I was on my way out.”

“Are you coming back to the office?”

“I have my class tonight,” Lin reminded him. She was hoping Kam would meet her there.

“Sure, I understand,” he said distractedly. “It’s just that I wanted to speak to you about something.”

“I’ll come back then.”

“No . . . no, that’s not necessary,” Ian said. She sensed his preoccupation.

“What is it, Ian?”

“I’d rather not broach the topic on the phone, but I suppose I should bring it up now before Kam mentions it to you.”

“What?” Lin asked, puzzled by his manner.

“Kam plans to ask you to work for him. Not just for him. With him. He wants you to be a full partner in Reardon Technologies, his new company.”

Lin just stared blindly out the window at a row of cabs waiting at the curb.

“You’re surprised?” Ian asked after a pause.

“To put it mildly,” she replied hollowly. It suddenly felt very hard to move her lungs. A tingling sensation started on her hands and feet. “How . . . how long has he been planning this?”

“According to him, the idea has been coming on ever since he met you. He has an enormous amount of respect for you, Lin,” Ian said quietly. “I think he realized how much he needs you to make this company fly.”

Needs you to make his company fly. Is that what all of this had been about? Had her seduction been a means to acquire her for his business dynasty?

“I . . . I don’t know what to say,” Lin mumbled. She felt numb.

“I can tell it’s coming to you as quite a shock,” Ian said. “The only reason I mentioned it before Kam had a chance to is that it came to my attention that you might turn him down out of loyalty to me. To Noble Enterprises. I wanted you to know that whatever you decide, I’ll be behind you. Kam is willing to offer you things that I can’t. He’s willing to offer you things most business owners would never consider.”

“You make it sound like you want me to leave,” Lin said, feeling stung and confused by the news.

“No. That’s not it at all. Nothing would make me happier than if you took your time with the decision and came to the conclusion that Noble is where you want to remain. You know how much I value you. At least I hope you do. But the fact remains: Kam’s offer is highly generous. I can tell you love the product. With Kam’s brilliance and your business savvy, you two would be unstoppable.”

The silence roared in her ears.

“Just think about it, Lin,” Ian continued, his tone warmer than usual. “More than you’ve thought about the dozens of other offers you’ve gotten over the years that you’ve turned down. You and I were going to discuss this week the relocation of Noble to London, at least for a short time period. That would certainly change up your life as well. If anything, it’s another factor you’ll need to consider in making your decision.”

“Yes. I have a lot to think about. Thank you for telling me your thoughts on the matter, Ian,” she said, glad to hear that her voice sounded even.

“I’m available if you need to toss things around. I’m also flexible in regard to making your position at Noble as comfortable for you with the location change as I can. This isn’t about me not wanting you, Lin. You’re the best damn executive I’ve had, or will ever have. I can say that without a doubt of ever changing my mind. More importantly, you’re a good friend. I care about you. I want whatever you want. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Lin managed.

She signed off with Ian and put her phone away. She just stared out the window for a stretched moment.

I want whatever you want.

What if she didn’t know what she wanted, though? Just minutes ago, she would have said she wanted what she had with Kam to flourish and grow, but on a personal basis, not a professional one. Or at least primarily on a personal basis. She really hadn’t ever considered being business partners with him.

The realization that was probably what Kam had in mind all along made her feel like she’d been dropped down a dark, fifty-foot hole with no ladder.

She went home that night instead of to her dance class, trying to absorb everything that Ian had told her, trying to decode what it all meant. She’d already decided she wasn’t going to call Kam until she’d thought things through and gained some perspective.

It surprised her the next morning, however, to discover that he hadn’t tried to call her, either. That was odd. He’d said he was going to call her. Before her conversation with Ian, she’d assumed they would be seeing one another.

Not that she relished the idea of seeing him now, but it just seemed strange that he’d avoided her as well.

She spent a highly distracted day at work. At around four o’clock, however, she realized she couldn’t keep avoiding Kam. They had the meeting scheduled with two executives from Stunde Watches tonight at the restaurant Festa. Lin had yet to even brief Kam about Stunde.

“Has Kam come into the office to see Ian or called?” Lin asked Maria, poking her head out of her office.

“As a matter of fact, I just got off the phone with him,” Maria said, setting down her pen. “He says to tell you he’ll meet you at Festa at seven.”

Irritation spiked through Lin at his distance handling of the matter, but so did confusion. “That won’t do,” she murmured. “Can you call him back and ask him to meet me at six thirty at the bar? We should at least touch base about Stunde before we meet with Kyle Preston and Nina Patel.”

Maria rang her a few minutes later and told her that Kam had agreed to six thirty. Again, she experienced bemusement that he hadn’t asked to speak with her personally.

That night Lin dressed with extreme care for their last meeting with the luxury watchmakers. She still hadn’t decided precisely what she wanted to say to Kam, but had already determined they should stick to business before and during the meeting. She’d call him out about his tactics for gaining her trust and interest after everything professional was over and done.

How dare he play with my emotions this way? she fumed silently for the thousandth time. He wanted her for his business and so he’d forced a physical relationship in order to secure his place in her life? Well, not forced precisely, she conceded irritably as she zipped up her dress that evening and closely studied her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She’d been more than eager to go to bed with him that first night, and progressively more enthusiastic every time since.

She’d loved every second of his primal, powerful lovemaking.

He just wanted me for his business.

But he could have wanted me for me as well, couldn’t he? A man couldn’t fake passion like Kam had shown, another part of her argued.

Now you are kidding yourself. Of course a man can make lust look like true feeling. Every day women are fooled into thinking sex means caring.

Kam’s not most men, though. He’s brutally honest.

He didn’t tell you what he was planning, though, did he?

Disgusted by her internal battle, she forced herself to focus on the moment. She’d just get tonight over with. After dinner, she had no choice but to confront Kam and try to discern the truth in him. She was admittedly scared of what that truth might be.

Taking a deep breath, she lifted her chin in preparation for battle. She wasn’t displeased with her appearance. None of the cracks in her armor were showing on the surface. Her hair was styled in an elegant partial upsweep with loose curls falling down her back. She wore a silk sarong print dress that left one shoulder bare, the feminine ruffles of the skirt tempered with a black leather belt that echoed the Reardon watch. She’d toyed with wearing the stunning pearls Kam had bought her, but no. Those were just another example of his unfair influence on her heart. The watch, she wore because it was business . . .

. . . and this was a business dinner, no matter how Kam had tried to alter the playing field to suit him. If there was one thing Lin could rely on, it was her professional persona. Calm. Charming. Polished. She’d rely on that persona tonight, just like she’d depended on it for years to survive.