Now that he was saying the words, there was no real heat behind them. Emotion, for sure, but just speaking them out loud, the simple act of being heard, lessened his anger.
And his Master’s, it seemed. Aidan’s angry look softened. “I know you are.”
“And I’m mad at you, Lexi.”
She nodded. “You should be.”
“We have to be more important than your career.”
Her skin had paled to a waxy color and he reached out for her, but she stepped away, shaking her head. “No. Don’t. Not until you’ve heard what I have to say.”
“And me.” Aidan didn’t pull away. He took Lucas’s hand. “You misunderstood me, Lucas. I might have made some mistakes, but you have to hear me out.”
Because that was what people who wanted to stay in love did. They listened. They talked. They forgave. “All right. Aidan, it hurt when you told me that I shouldn’t feel like I had a claim to the ranch because it belongs to you.”
“I didn’t say that. I have never said that and never once felt that way.”
Lexi’s eyes were on the ground. “But the land has been in your family for years. You love that land.”
“Yes, I do. It’s O’Malley land, and you two are missing out on the fact that you’re both O’Malleys and so are our children. That’s not why I’ve kept you out of the business. I’ve kept you out because it hasn’t been much of a business up to this point. It’s been a money pit and you know it. Both you and Lucas brought money into this marriage and all I brought was a place to throw it the last couple of years.”
Lucas shook his head. “That’s not true.”
“Who paid for the house?” Aidan asked.
Lucas sighed. “I wanted to buy the house for us. The ranch house was getting too small.”
“I’m the Master. I should be the one to provide. At the very least, I should be able to pull my own damn weight. This year we should finally see a profit. Don’t think I don’t know that I wouldn’t have made it to this year without Lexi’s dad. I wouldn’t have made it without you, Lucas and Lexi. So I try to keep you out of it because you’ve already done your part.”
This was what made him crazy. “There is no part to this. Aidan, I can call you Master all you like, but at the end of the day this is our life and our home and I don’t have some part that you can stick me in and say this is what I’ll give or let you give back to me. I want to help with the ranch because it’s yours and mine and our babies’. Can’t you see it doesn’t mean as much if I don’t help? You said Sam was in on the ground floor. Yes, he was. They didn’t have a damn thing before. Well, I don’t care that the ranch has been in your family. It’s our family now, and if you won’t rely on me, then I’m not worth much.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. You have to understand. I wasn’t trying to cut you out. I was trying to offer you something. I wanted to turn the ranch into something that was worthy of you.”
“Everything you do, everything you have is worthy. Let me help you build it. I should be the first person you call when we have trouble, not the last.”
“Oh, god.” Tears were pouring down Lexi’s face. “Oh, god. I cost us the ranch. We’re going to lose the ranch because of me.”
Lucas had to catch her before she fell.
Lexi shook her head as she started to wake up. Had she actually fainted? She seemed to be on a bed. Someone had taken off her shoes, and she could feel a hard body pressed behind her.
“The doctor is apparently dealing with a situation.” Lucas’s deep voice penetrated her brain. Everything was a little foggy.
“Well, I have a situation right here. We have to call an ambulance,” Aidan said. His arms tightened around her as though he was afraid to let go.
She forced her eyes open. If she let him, Aidan would have three ambulances, the police force, and a fire truck in the front yard before she could take a breath. “I’m fine.”
“You fainted.”
She shook it off. “Because I haven’t eaten in a couple of days.”
Aidan’s eyebrows came together in a frustrated V. “What? I fixed you a plate.”
She shrugged. “And I couldn’t eat it.”
The thought of food turned her stomach. Ever since she’d gotten the last e-mail from Karen, she hadn’t been able to think about anything but maximizing her career.
“Lucas?”
“I’m on it.” Lucas had a glass of orange juice in his hand. “I brought this with me. Drink it. I’ll go and grab a protein bar.”
“This has to stop, Lexi. You can’t treat yourself like this. You’re making yourself crazy. Drink.” He held the glass up to her lips.
She was forced to drink. Cool, sweet juice filled her mouth. She swallowed it down before pushing his hand away. “We need to talk, Aidan. I’ve done something terrible.”
He frowned. “What was all that shit about you costing us the ranch?”
If only it was a joke. “The city council is going to take our ranch.”
“Baby, that’s not going to happen.” He smoothed back her hair. God, it felt so good to be in his arms. How long had it been since she’d just relaxed in their arms, lazing away the hours while they talked and made love?
She was pretty sure he wouldn’t want to hold her after she told him what she’d done. “You have to listen to me. I’ve got a plan to save us.”
“Lexi, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but it’s just gossip. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
She had to make him listen. She turned to him, staring into his eyes, willing him to believe her. “The city council is planning on rezoning key parts of the county.”
“Yes, I know, sweetheart. It’s already been taken care of.”
“You don’t understand. I pissed Karen off.”
“Karen Wilcox?”
“She’s Karen Carter now. You know, like Mayor Carter.”
His eyes rolled slightly. “Yes, baby, I know she managed to get the mayor to marry her. I don’t know what she has to do with this.”
Because he wasn’t thinking. “Right after Chelsea was born, I went to a brunch at the Deer Run Women’s Committee. I was going to head up the auction to raise funds for the new school. Well, Karen had me kicked off because she said there was no place for whores in her town.”
“She said what?” Aidan’s voice had gone dangerously low.
There was a reason she’d tried to take care of it herself in the first place. “She always calls me a whore, Aidan. But she usually does it behind my back. I got a little mad.”
His eyes narrowed. “What exactly did you do?”
She bit her bottom lip. “I might have dumped a punch bowl over her head and told her to take her fake boobs and get out of my house. We own the building the meeting was taking place in. Needless to say, they moved their meetings to somewhere else. But Karen was mad. Everyone laughed at her. She deserved it. But then she walked up to me at Patty Cakes and we had a little discussion.”
“You should have had a discussion with me.”
“Aidan, you shouldn’t have to deal with mean-girl name calling. But she took it further.” Tears threatened, but she bit them back. “Aidan, she’s going to have her husband take a thousand acres in the east field. He’s going to take our water access and he’s going to use eminent domain to take it. He claims he’s going to build an outlet mall.”
Aidan’s eyes closed, and he took a long breath. “Oh, baby, that wasn’t about a shopping mall. That was a land grab plain and simple. The east pasture is sitting on what might be a ton of natural gas. I turned down a contract with the gas company to drill because I don’t trust them. The mayor wants that money so he came up with the idea of taking the land.”
“You knew about it?” All this time she’d worried sick and he’d known?
“The mayor doesn’t want the land anymore.” Lucas was standing in the doorway, a plate in his hand. “I explained that I could keep him tied up in court for a very long time.”
That didn’t sound like Lucas. “Is that all you did?”
“I might also have had Chase dig up dirt on the bastard’s tax practices. He might owe the IRS a ton of money and he has undocumented workers working in his family’s estate. I might have presented him with evidence and he might have crapped his pants and backed down. But the official reason is we’re being completely unreasonable and threatening to tie the county up in court. I think he told everyone Aidan was an environmentalist.”
“Yeah, they think that’s worse than being gay, which is the other thing they call me.” He took her hands in his. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to fight about the gas rights. Baby, the company that’s offering is known for being sloppy and, honestly, I don’t want to take the chance that we could make a quick million but lose the land in the end. Ranching is our future.”
“But all this time I thought I was going to cost us the land.”
“Baby, the mayor might enjoy screwing Karen, but he’s not about to let her make decisions like that. He didn’t marry her for her brain. He married her because she’s thirty years younger than him. She was always a mean bitch. She probably heard what he was planning and decided to make herself look like she had some power. How long has this been going on?”
“That bitch.” She felt so stupid. “Months, Aidan.”
“Months? Why didn’t you talk to me?”
“Why didn’t you talk to me?” She threw back at him.
“Because you’re both impossibly stubborn and obnoxious.” Lucas sat the plate in front of her. “And you’re both going to change or we’re going to fall apart. Lexi, what was your plan to save the ranch and how did it involve being on the phone twenty-four seven?”
He knew her really well. “I was going to up my writing so we would have the money to fight this or I could buy us new land.”
Aidan shook his head. “Baby, do you know how much new land would cost? I know you make a lot of money, but you don’t make millions and that’s what it would take. Lexi, I don’t know what you were thinking.”
“I was thinking I didn’t want you to know how stupid I was. I was thinking I would try to save us. But you and Lucas had already done it and not even bothered to tell me something was wrong.”
“That sounds a whole lot like the pot calling the kettle black,” Aidan shot back. “You’ve kept us at arm’s length for months because you weren’t willing to talk about what had happened. I might not have been totally truthful with you, but I didn’t push you away.”
“Really?” Lucas asked, passing the plate to her. “Eat, Lexi. If you don’t, I’ll pull you over my knee. I haven’t topped you in almost a year. Between the pregnancy and this episode, I haven’t gotten what I needed in a very long time, so I wouldn’t test me now.”
Her heart ached a little. She’d known that Lucas was hurting and she’d still held him away. She took the sandwich he’d made her and had a bite.
“As to you, Aidan, you can’t say you haven’t held yourself apart from me. How long did it take you to ask me for advice? How many weeks went by?”
Lexi looked back at Aidan. “You didn’t talk to Lucas?”
They always talked. She couldn’t stand the thought of Aidan feeling so alone—the way she’d felt for months.
“I thought I could handle it.” Aidan took a long breath.
The same way she had thought she could handle it.
“I’m tired of both of you,” Lucas said. “I’m tired of being ignored. When I have a problem, I come to you. I’ve asked your opinion on everything from what car to buy to how to handle the human resources problems at the Dallas office. I didn’t do that because I thought the two of you knew everything. I did it because I trust you and love you and I need you to know what’s happening in my life. Neither one of you feels the same about me.”
“Or we’re just very stupid,” Lexi tried.
Lucas shrugged a little. “Either way, it has to change. I’m not saying I’ll leave. I can’t. We have two children who depend on me. But I will change my expectations of what our relationship means. I’ll hold myself apart. I don’t want that. I want what was promised to me. I want my family. Make your decisions. I’m going to go and think for a while.”
“Lucas,” Aidan called out as he turned to go.
Lucas didn’t turn around. “No. If you want me, you’ll know where to find me. Don’t come looking if you can’t be my Master.”
He walked out the door, his boots ringing against the hardwood floors.
“He doesn’t mean that.” She couldn’t let Aidan get mad at Lucas.
Aidan sat back against the bed. “Yes, he does. He has every right to be mad, Lexi. We failed him.”
The “we” gave her a little hope. Something had settled deep in her chest. Something that had been tight and nasty had loosened up. “I didn’t fuck everything up?”
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