It was all very agreeable.

Kitty came over to see me one morning. She was as excited as everyone else about the wedding. She thought Mr. Lestrange was ever so nice. “There is no side about him, Miss, if you know what I mean. He’s nice to us servants … just as though we were of importance. The family like him … from the mistress to the stable boys. I reckon Miss Myra’s lucky.”

Lilias and I often talked about Ninian Grainger’s suggestion. There were times when I thought it would suit me to follow the example of those young governesses; and there were others when I would swerve away from the notion. A terrible uncertainty would sweep over me. As Lilias had said, it was a step that should not be taken lightly.

While we were at breakfast one morning a message came from Lakemere House. Mrs. Ellington wished to see Lilias and me at eleven-thirty that morning. She could only spare a short time, but it was important and could we please be as punctual as possible?

Lilias grimaced at me. “The royal command. It’s a nuisance. I promised old Mrs. Edge that I’d take her some of the wine that Jane makes. She says it puts new life into her.”

“Couldn’t we take it another day?”

“Well, she’s so lonely. She’ll be watching for us. There’s time to take it and we can go straight from her to Lakemere.”

That was agreed.

We delivered the wine and chattered for a while, Lilias keeping her eye on her watch.

Mrs. Edge was disappointed, but Lilias explained that Mrs. Ellington wished to see her and me as well—and we all knew how busy Mrs. Ellington was at this time.

Mrs. Edge wanted to talk about the wedding so we indulged her for another five minutes, telling her all we knew, and then we departed.

We put our horses in the Ellington stables and were taken to Mrs. Ellington’s private sitting room. She was seated at her bureau with papers before her.

“Oh, Lilias,” she said, “and you, Miss Grey. So good of you to come. I’m so frightfully busy … guests and so on. Some will have to stay in the house. I shall see you both at the reception, of course. But you’ve no idea. It’s all so sudden. If only we had more time. But needs must.”

“I am sure you are very happy about it, Mrs. Ellington,” said Lilias.

“I should be if I could be sure everything will go well on the day.”

“You couldn’t fail to make it so,” said Lilias perfunctorily.

“No, of course not. I did want to speak to you both about the stalls at the fete. That’s why I asked you both to come. My big concern is the village drama meeting. As you know, they usually have it here, but I simply cannot have them. It’s tomorrow … short notice, I know, but could you possibly have it at the vicarage? You’ve plenty of room there and …”

“But, of course, we can,” said Lilias.

Mrs. Ellington beamed on her. “I knew you would, but I wanted you to call personally because there is the list of the cast for the Nativity play. It’s early yet, but they need lots of rehearsal … and they’ll be discussing it tomorrow. I wanted them to see my suggestions. They do need guidance; otherwise they select the most incongruous people … and then once it’s done … it’s awkward to change.”

“I’ll see that everyone knows it will be at the vicarage and I’ll give Miss Crew the list. She’s in charge of all that, isn’t she?”

“Thank you so much. I hope I have not dragged you away from something, Miss Grey.”

“Oh no, not at all.”

“We’ll talk about the fete later. Thank you so much for coming. Now … I have to get on.”

“We should be going anyway,” said Lilias.

“Thank you. Thank you for coming.”

We were graciously ushered out and made our way to the stables.

“There was no need to summon us to the presence,” said Lilias. “She could have sent a note with her cast of players.”

“I think she enjoys being frantically busy.”

Kitty was standing outside the stables chatting with one of the men. I was reminded of Hamish then and how she had fallen victim to his lust. I supposed some people never changed. Kitty had also reminded me of Zillah. They both seemed to sparkle in the admiration of men.

The man went into the stables when he saw us and brought out the horses. Just at that moment Roger Lestrange rode up.

“Oh, good morning, Miss Milne, Miss Grey. How nice to see you! Are you just coming to the house?”

“No,” said Lilias. “We are just leaving. We’ve been to see Mrs. Ellington.”

“Oh … what a pity!” He smiled at us warmly. He was a very attractive man. I could understand why people thought Myra lucky. Soon she would be going to a new country with this charming husband. I might be going away. But how different my departure would be.

“We must be getting on,” said Lilias, mounting her horse.

I was not sure what happened next. I had my foot in the stirrup and was about to mount when suddenly my horse turned abruptly. The next thing I knew was that I was on the ground, my foot caught in the stirrup. The horse began to move away, fortunately at only a slow pace. Nevertheless I was dragged along the ground.

“Miss Davina!” It was Kitty’s voice—shrill, loud, audible to all.

The incident was over in a few seconds. Roger Lestrange had seized my horse and brought it to a standstill. My foot was released and I stood up, unhurt.

He put an arm around me and looked at me steadily. “All right?”

I could not answer. All I could hear was that shattering cry of “Miss Davina!”

Lilias looked shaken. She was standing beside me and she took my arm.

“How are you feeling?” she asked. “What a nasty shock! What happened?”

“He just moved in the wrong direction, that’s all,” said Roger Lestrange. “You shouldn’t have let him do that, you know.”

“Miss Grey has only just learned to ride,” said Lilias.

Roger Lestrange was looking at me intently, his eyes more blue than I remembered them. “You’ll have to look on it as an experience, Miss Grey. It’s lucky we were here and the horse didn’t gallop off. That could have been … well … let’s not think of it. You’re not hurt … that’s the important thing. It was just a bit of mischief on the part of the horse. He knew you weren’t up to all the tricks he could play … so he tried one. They’re like that sometimes, aren’t they, John?”

“Aye, sir, they be that,” said John. “You make sure when you mount him, Miss. Look, like this. He couldn’t have done it then.”

“All’s well that ends well,” said Roger Lestrange. “Do you feel like mounting again, Miss Grey?”

“I must.”

“That’s the spirit. Never give up. At least you won’t do that again. Just give him a pat to show he’s forgiven and he’ll be friends again. That’s so, isn’t it, John?”

“Aye, sir, that be it.”

Rather shakily I mounted the horse; but I was not thinking of the danger I might have been in but of the shrill penetrating cry of “Miss Davina!”

Lilias and I rode back to the vicarage in silence. We had no need for speech. Each of us knew what was in the other’s mind.

I went straight to my room, and sat staring out at the graveyard.

“Davina,” Ninian Grainger had said. “It’s an unusual name.” What if Roger Lestrange had noticed? What if he remembered that I came from Edinburgh?

There was a knock on the door and I knew it was Lilias. She came in and stood for a few seconds looking at me.

“He must have heard,” I said.

“He probably didn’t notice.”

“It was so loud and clear.”

“Only to us because we understood. I am sure Kitty was very upset about it. It came out involuntarily. It’s understandable. She was worried about you. She looked so … penitent. She didn’t mean any harm. That’s the last thing. But she thought you were going to be hurt and it slipped out naturally. I don’t think anyone noticed. We were too concerned about you.”

I said suddenly: “I’m going to write to Ninian Grainger to ask him to put me in touch with Mrs. Crown.”

“Well … I suppose you might go and hear what she has to say. There’s no commitment in that.”

“I think I have made up my mind. It’s what I’m going to do.

I can’t stay here … on edge, as it were … just waiting for something to come up … like this morning.”

“I think you have been more upset by that than by the accident. If that horse had started to gallop you could have been very seriously hurt.”

“I know. But it’s showed me that when Kitty called out my name like that, it’s the sort of thing that could happen at any time. I am going to explore this possibility.”

Lilias said slowly: “I see.”

She left me and I sat down and wrote a letter to Ninian Grainger.

Dear Mr. Grainger,

It has taken me some time to make up my mind, and I cannot be sure that I have done that yet, for this is such a big step I have to take. There was another incident today and this has decided me that at least I must see Mrs. Crown and discuss a few details with her.

It is so kind of you to take so much trouble to help me. I do appreciate that.

With grateful thanks,

Sincerely, D.

The letter was posted. I had taken the first step.

I was preparing for bed that night when there was a knock on my door. Lilias came in wearing a dressing gown and carrying a candle.

“I thought you might have been asleep,” she said.

“I shan’t sleep. I have too many things to think about.”

“This is only the first step.”

“Yes, but it’s an important one.”

“I’ve been thinking …”

“Yes?”

She paused for a moment and then she said quietly: “I might come with you.”

Joy swept over me. This would change everything. That which I had contemplated with fearful apprehension could be planned with excitement. Two people together could face difficulties so much more easily than one alone; and if that person was the best friend one ever had …

“Lilias!” I cried. “Do you really mean that?”

“I have been considering it ever since I heard of it. The Society … it sounds interesting to me. You see, I feel this isn’t what I want to do … visiting people like Mrs. Dalton, being directed by Mrs. Ellington. I suppose I get through … as anybody would, but it’s not what I want. I want to be teaching. I really feel I have a vocation for that. I want to get back to it.”

“Lilias … this is so unexpected. You didn’t tell me …”

“No. Like you, I couldn’t make up my mind … but I have been thinking more and more of it.”

“If we went together … it would be so exciting. If I could believe you were coming with me, it would be so different.”

“We both have something we don’t want revealed.”

“Oh, yours wasn’t like …”

“No. My ordeal was not so horrific. Yours was carried out in the light of publicity. But I have a slur on my character. I’m in a quandary. I don’t know whether it’s the right thing or not … but if you go, I want to go with you.”

“Oh, Lilias, I can’t tell you how much I want that, too. Have you really thought about it … deeply?”

“From every angle. Alice could come back. She is much more useful at what I am trying to do. She doesn’t like teaching in any case, though she pretends all is well. I know her, and I sense this is not entirely the case. If I went, she could come back.”

“There’s Charles Merrimen,” I reminded her. “Have you thought of him?”

“I’ve thought a great deal about him. It’s over really. It seems we were just trying to keep something alive … something which isn’t really there. I go and read to him. Several people could do that for him. We talk about the books I read to him. We could go on like that till one of us dies. I am beginning to realise that if there had been deep love between us we should have married. It’s rather like you and Jamie. There is something for a time … but it’s a fragile plant.”

“You were away from him all those years when you were with me.”

“And when I come to think of it, those were the most rewarding years of my life so far. One has to be realistic. We have our lives to lead. I want to teach. I think I have a vocation for it. I do believe I want that more than anything. Also I want to get away from the past … just as you do. Yes, if you go, I am coming with you.”

“Oh, Lilias, I feel so much better. I know I can face whatever there is to come if you are there.”

We talked far into the night. We both knew that sleep was impossible; and for the next few days impatiently we awaited Ninian’s reply.