His lips parted hesitantly, as if he grappled with what to say and how to say it. There was torment in his eyes, and deep shadows lurked, making his gaze appear haunted.

There was an ache to his words that touched the deepest part of her soul.

“From the minute I knew what was going on, I kept wondering if this was where it would all be taken back. I guess some part of me has lived in fear that I was living on borrowed time and that people just don’t get handed what I’ve been given without having to give it back at some point.”

Her heart throbbed at the vulnerability in his voice. She tossed aside the boot and then crawled onto the bed, her hands smoothing up his chest until she got to his shoulders.

Her mouth hovered just over his, her dark hair falling like a curtain onto his skin.

“I hate to tell you this, but you’re stuck with me,” she teased, hoping to lighten the darkness in his eyes. “You can’t get rid of me that easily. I think I’ve proved that already.”

He wrapped his arm around her waist and anchored her firmly against him. “I don’t want to ever lose you, baby. You’re my life. The babies are my life. Our family means everything to me, and I’ll always fight to keep you safe and happy.”

She kissed him then. Warm and melting, their lips fused together.

“You make me so very happy,” she whispered. “I can finally sleep at night without fear that I’ll wake up in hell or that I dreamed you coming for me. I can see past today and get a glimpse of our future when our children are older and we have a lifetime of loving behind us.”

He ran his fingers through her hair, toying with the strands in a tender gesture.

“Do you want me to quit KGI?” he asked in a serious tone.

She blinked in surprise. Then she studied the earnestness in his expression and sighed.

“I never wanted you to quit your SEAL team. That was your decision. What I want is for you to be happy, and working with your brothers makes you happy. I can see it in your eyes when you come home from work. We’re older and wiser now, Ethan. We’re stronger than we were when you were in the Navy. I have a solid support system when you’re away on a mission.”

“I just want you to know that nothing is more important than you and our children. And I mean that. If it would make you happy, I’d walk away from KGI tomorrow and have no regrets.”

“But it wouldn’t make you happy, and if you aren’t happy, I certainly won’t be happy,” she said.

He kissed her again, and she molded her body to his. She reached down, sliding her hand between them until she cupped him intimately, stroking him through his pants.

He groaned. “God, woman. I’m cut to my knees, weak with relief that you’re alive and well, and you’re acting the temptress, like you didn’t almost get yourself killed today.”

She smiled against his lips as she kissed him again, and then she drew away, propping her elbow on his upper chest, above where he’d been bruised.

But then she sobered as she took in the worry in his eyes. She touched his face, tracing the hard lines and then smoothing a finger over his lips.

“I made peace with death a long time ago. I’m not saying I want to die, but I don’t  fear it anymore. There were days that I wasn’t strong during captivity, and I actually hoped for death. That they’d grow tired of keeping me on a leash and would give me an overdose and that I’d slip away.”

Tears glittered in Ethan’s eyes, and his jaw hardened. His entire body was tense. She knew it was difficult for him to hear, but she didn’t hold anything back. She was honest if nothing else.

“I think it’s why I could be relatively calm and not lose it today. One, I didn’t want those kids to get hurt. And two, after everything I’ve endured, I’ve come to the conclusion that when God is ready for me to go, I’ll go, and not a minute before.”

“I’m just grateful he wasn’t ready for you and that you’re back home with me where you belong,” he said, his voice husky with emotion.

She adjusted her body so she could turn and unfasten the fly of his pants. He lifted his hips upward and helped her push them down over his thighs. She got to her knees to finish removing the rest of his clothing until he was fully naked beneath her roving hands.

Tonight she was going to make love to him. So many times he’d been the one to handle her so gently. Always offering her reassurance. Telling her with more than words that he loved her and would always be here.

She wanted to be that person for him tonight. To show him that she loved him every bit as much. That she valued the sacrifices he’d made and was willing to make for her and their children.

Easing from the bed, she took only long enough to slip from the gown she’d put on after her shower, and then she crawled back onto the bed and positioned herself between his muscled thighs.

She leaned forward, pressing her mouth to his taut abdomen. Not a spare inch of flesh could she find. Gently she pressed tiny kisses to the bruise that marred his flesh, and then she moved lower again, teasing a trail down to the apex of his legs.

He sucked in all his breath when she licked from the base of his cock to the very tip. It twitched and bobbed underneath her lips, allowing her to suck the head inside her mouth.

In a warm, moist glide, she took him all the way in and then slowly released him, inch by agonizing inch, exerting firm suction the entire time.

He stirred restlessly, fidgeting, unable to remain still as she stroked up and down, squeezing him with her mouth.

His hands twisted in her hair, holding her then pulling her to meet his thrusts. It was as if he had no control over his movements and he was frantic for more.

Already, she knew exactly what she wanted. How she wanted to make love to him. She teased and toyed with him until she tasted the first spill of pre-cum on her tongue. Then she slowed her movements and let him slide down from his impending release.

When his breathing slowed, she shifted upward again until she straddled him, arched up as she carefully fit him to her opening.

His big hands closed over her hips, offering his help as she angled over him. But he let her do as she wanted, never forcing the action.

Closing her eyes, she sank slowly down, taking him deeply inside her until she came to rest over his groin.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Ethan said, his voice full of awe. “The most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my life. This is the way I want to remember you. Naked and lush, astride me, my dick so deep inside you. Your head thrown back and all that gorgeous hair flowing over your shoulders.”

He slid his hands from her hips up to her breasts, cupping the small mounds and rubbing his thumbs over the peaks.

She fidgeted and then leaned forward into his grasp, savoring the feel of his hands on her breasts. She braced her palms against his arms and eased upward, allowing him to slide out of her.

Then she let herself down again, engulfing him until they both let out soft moans of appreciation.

“I want you with me, baby,” Ethan whispered. “Together. Let’s go together. Tell me what you need.”

She sighed again. “Touch me. I’m so close.”

He moved one hand between them, sliding a finger through the curls covering her mound to the sensitive nub of flesh sheltered in her slick folds. As soon as he stroked her, she tightened all over, which caused him to grow even more rigid inside her.

Needing more, she picked up the pace and began a steady rhythm that caused the most exquisite friction she’d ever experienced. He was so tight within her.

His free hand curved over her ass, and then his fingers dug into her flesh as she rode him.

“Come baby,” he gasped out. “Get there.”

He didn’t have long to wait. Her body tightened into a taut coil, and then she snapped, suddenly releasing all the pent-up tension in one explosive burst.

Her soft cry was lost in his roar as his own orgasm flashed over him. She went warm and slick, the snugness eased by his release. Euphoric satisfaction wafted through her veins, infusing her with a drugged, hazy sensation.

She settled over Ethan, allowing her body to blanket his. He wrapped his arms around her so she was surrounded by him. Completely content, she snuggled more firmly into his embrace and let out a long sigh.

Life had taught her that nothing worthwhile came easy, but everything was all the more sweet for the sacrifices made.

“I love you,” she said against his skin.

“I love you too, baby,” he said, his voice fierce and possessive. “Sleep now while I hold you. I just need some time to hold you and remind myself that you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry to have scared you.”

He slid his hands warmly over her back. “I know, baby. I know.”

Chapter 15

Rachel had never been so grateful to live behind the gates of the compound. She was extremely thankful for the timing and that she and Ethan had moved from their old house before the incident at the school because the media had camped out in their old neighborhood ever since she’d been released from the hospital.

It was a complete zoo in the small town where Frank’s hardware store was, and he’d had to close it down after only one hour in operation the day he reopened after the gunman’s arrest.

Once again, Rachel found herself in the media spotlight, only this time she hadn’t returned from the dead. She’d merely flirted with death once again.

The only article she’d glanced at had mentioned that she had nine lives. Maybe it was true, but she wasn’t going to waste time dwelling on all the ways she’d cheated death.

For the past few days, she and Ethan had sequestered themselves in their new home. Marlene and Rachel’s sisters-in-law had taken turns bringing them home-cooked meals, and so Ethan and Rachel had remained indoors, soaking up the fact that they’d survived a close call and Rachel was suffering no illeffects from the scare.

“Baby, Ma just called,” Ethan said as he ambled into the living room.

Rachel had kept the television off ever since they’d gotten home because they couldn’t flip through the channels without coming across a mention of the near-shooting.

The police had made multiple trips to the compound because Ethan refused to take her out where they’d be mobbed by media.

She’d told her version of the incident so many times her ears were numb from listening to herself.

“Oh?” Rachel asked, turning her attention from the book she’d been reading.

“She informed me that they’ve given us enough alone time to recover and that they’re converging tonight for the housewarming party they’d already planned.”

Rachel froze, sure she had a deer-in-the-headlights look. “Tonight?” She glanced around the living room in horror. Nothing was clean. There were boxes everywhere.

Ethan held up his hands. “Don’t freak. Ma wouldn’t do that to you. I mean just come over when she knows we’ve been moving and stuff’s not clean. She’s rounding up the daughters-in-law and they’re coming over in an hour to clean and cook.

Rachel stared at him, utterly appalled. “And that’s supposed to make it better? I’m supposed to sit and watch them clean my house and cook for a party we’re having here tonight?”

“That’s precisely what you’re going to do,” Ethan said sternly. “I don’t want you overdoing it.”

Rachel sighed, and Ethan plopped down on the couch and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“Everyone’s worried about you. They just want to do something to make you happy and to celebrate our move. I think they think you’re sad over leaving the old house.”

She pressed her lips together and puffed her cheeks out before allowing the air out in an audible pop.

“Does it still bother you that I’m not bothered by leaving?”

Slowly he shook his head. “Your reasons made sense. How can I fault you for being honest? And I want you to be happy. If having a new house in a safer location makes you feel content and secure then I’d have to be a complete asshole to begrudge you that.”

She turned into his chest and hugged him fiercely. “We’re going to make some great memories in this house, Ethan.”

He kissed the top of her head and ran his fingers through her hair. “Yeah, we are. Starting tonight.”

* * *

The house was alive with chatter, laughter, and the warm smiles that only came from being with family.