As she went into the barn and walked toward Jackson’s stall, she felt both hot and cold, as if she were coming down with the flu. But it was also different. Uncomfortable and scary and…
She stopped in the middle of the stable and stared into Jackson’s big, brown eyes. Possibilities flashed through her mind, each more frightening than the one before. Would she? Had she?
She’d been terrified about Nick’s snake bite. The drive to the hospital had seemed endless and she’d been unable to stop crying, no matter how many times Nick calmly promised he would be fine. It was only after the doctor had sworn he was out of danger that she’d allowed herself to hope.
Nick was a friend, she told herself. Of course she would worry about him. Only she knew it was more than that. Much more. Losing Nick would have crushed her in ways she’d never experienced. The reason she was confused, the reason she didn’t know how to act or what to say was that everything was suddenly different. At least from her end.
Love.
Sometime, when she wasn’t paying attention, she’d fallen in love with him. She, who had never loved anyone. Who never got involved. She’d fallen for a man who had vowed to never let himself be happy or connect with anyone else. Which was pretty much just her luck.
NICK WATCHED Izzy carry in his tray for dinner. She brought it over to the bed and set it on the low table Aaron had already settled across his lap.
“Thanks,” he said, more interested in looking at her than the food. “I haven’t seen you all day.”
“I’ve been around,” she said, not quite looking at him. “You know, busy. There’s so much to do. Things to get caught up on. Despite appearances, you are more than a pretty face. I’m trying to pick up the slack.”
She sounded fine, but something wasn’t right. He could tell. “It’s been three days. There isn’t much slack to pick up.”
“I like staying current,” she murmured. “Anyway, here’s your dinner. Norma made all your favorites, which you should really mention. She said it about three times. And she kept Aaron from eating all the biscuits. Here’s my question. How does he eat so much and stay so damn skinny? It’s annoying.”
She gave him a tight smile that looked more pained than happy, then started backing out of the room. “I’ll just let you eat in peace.”
“Or you could keep me company.”
She froze, momentarily looked trapped, then gave him the fake smile again. “Sure. If you’d like. That would be great. Really nice.” She pulled over the armchair from the corner.
“Go ahead,” she said. “Eat. I’ll do the talking. I’m good at that.” She paused as if searching for a topic. “I, ah, got the catalog from the community college. I missed the fall semester start by three weeks. Which is okay. I can take my time and figure out my major. Not that I have to declare right away.”
He cut into the roast beef. “I thought you were studying psychology.”
“I am, but there are a lot of choices in the field. Not at the community college level, of course, but you know, um, later.”
“Izzy, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.” She smiled again and this time did a better job of faking it. “You’re getting tons of get-well cards. You’re way more popular than I would have guessed. Aaron has them all. He’ll bring them by later. I’m sure small but tasteful gifts will be arriving soon. Oh, look at the time.”
She started to stand. He grabbed her arm and held her in place.
“You’re not leaving until you tell me what’s going on.”
She stared at him, wide-eyed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’re acting strange.”
“No, I’m not. It’s the snake bite, isn’t it? Your brain is addled.”
He frowned. “You don’t say things like addled. What happened?”
“Nothing. Seriously, I’m good. And I really have to go. I’ll see you later.”
She slipped free of his grasp and walked out of the room.
Nick thought about going after her, but wondered if she needed time to deal with whatever it was that had…What? Scared her? It would be his first guess, only very little scared Izzy. She was tough and gentle, an impossible combination.
He would give it time, but eventually he would figure it out. Something had happened. Something that had her running scared and he was going to find out what it was.
THE KNIVES CAME OUT of the darkness. Nick recognized the burning as the blades cut through him. It was always the same, he thought, doing his best to fight. Silence, then the burn, then the warm trickle of blood followed by the intense pain. They liked to cut in a place that had almost healed. It hurt more that way. Sometimes they jabbed under his fingernails or the bottom of his feet. He never knew where they would strike or when. Or how long it would last.
The burning continued and he waited for the agony. Only it wasn’t there this time. And a part of him knew he was dreaming. This wasn’t real. But it felt real, he told himself, even as he fought the bone-chilling fear. It felt more real than it had for years.
The venom, he remembered. The snake bite. That’s what was different. He was weak-he who hadn’t allowed himself to be weak since his escape.
He fought the memories, the heat and told himself he would escape again, as he had before. He knew the way. He could…
Something cold stroked his face. A soft voice whispered for him to come back. It promised safety. A hand held on to his, guiding him, drawing him up and up until he opened his eyes and saw Izzy leaning over him.
“You made it,” she said. “You were dreaming. The jungle?”
He nodded. “What time is it?”
“Just after midnight.”
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“Watching over you.”
Being around him was safe, or so Izzy had thought. While Nick was asleep she was at less risk of giving herself away. So she’d curled up in the big chair a couple of hours ago, prepared to spend the night. She’d nearly been asleep when she’d heard him moaning.
She dipped the washcloth in the basin of water, squeezed it, then placed it back on his forehead.
“I want to check for a fever,” she said. “You feel hot.”
“Not as good as looking hot,” he teased.
“Someone’s been hanging out with Aaron just a little too much.”
“Is that possible?”
She smiled. “You certainly sound all right.”
“I’m fine.”
He looked better. The color had returned to his face. She dropped the washcloth into the basin and straightened.
“You should try to go back to sleep,” she told him. “I’m sure the nightmare has passed.”
His eyes were so green, she thought as she stared into them. She’d gotten used to everything about him except his eyes. They still startled her when she looked at him. Although not as much as the realization that she loved him. There was a piece of news designed to make her stagger from shock.
He cupped her face with his palm, then slid his fingers into her hair.
“You’re so damn beautiful,” he murmured.
Words that made her heart beat faster. Words that could make her want to believe. “Yeah, yeah, I look the same as I did yesterday. Now go to sleep.”
“Tell me what has you spooked.”
She drew back. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He kept looking at her. “Tell me. I can help.”
“Actually you’re the last person who can fix this problem,” she said before she could stop herself, then wanted to scream. Talk about a stupid thing to say.
He was going to ask a thousand questions. She would bet her last breath on it. He would come after her, relentless, determined to know, to “help” without realizing he was most of the problem.
“Izzy,” he began as he sat up in bed.
She panicked. Later she would even be able to admit it to herself. She panicked and did the only thing she could think of to distract him.
She kissed him.
At first he didn’t respond. She kept her lips against his, mostly to keep him from talking, but after a couple of seconds because it felt good. Really good. Then his mouth moved against hers in a way that told her he wasn’t interested in questions. Not when this was the alternative.
As he reached for her, she leaned in close. The night was around them, but the lamps in the room chased away the darkness. They were safe-maybe because she was always safe when she was with him.
He cupped the back of her head, then slid his hand down her back. She wore the same clothes she’d had on earlier that day and regretted not changing into something with less layers.
She tilted her head and felt the light stroke of his tongue against her lower lip. She parted for him, wanting to deepen the kiss, wanting to tease and arouse and get lost in what they were doing.
He plunged into her mouth, claiming her with an intensity that took her breath away. She remembered the last time they’d made love, how he’d reduced her to a puddle of satisfaction. The knowledge of how she would feel in a few minutes combined with the pleasure of his mouth on hers to make her whimper.
It was just a kiss, she thought as need shot through her. But that didn’t seem to matter. Not when her breasts already ached and she could feel herself swelling in anticipation.
She clung to him, then wanted more and tugged at his T-shirt. He pulled back enough to pull it off. She did the same, then reached behind her for the hooks of her bra, only to freeze in place.
She’d never seen his chest before. She’d touched it, had stroked the scarred flesh, but she’d never seen the crisscross marks that were proof of all he’d suffered. There were thin scars and thick ones. They made a patchwork pattern of ugliness and pain. Of course the purpose had simply been to punish him. Francisco had done his job well.
“Don’t,” Nick said, touching her chin and forcing her to meet his gaze. “Don’t get lost there. They don’t hurt, Izzy. They don’t matter.”
He was wrong about both. Of course they still hurt. They haunted his dreams. But that was a conversation for another time.
As much as she wanted to press her mouth to each of the scars, perhaps to heal, perhaps just to tell him she cared, she knew it would be a mistake. He wouldn’t understand what she meant and he would think she pitied him. So she reached behind her and unfastened her bra, then dropped it onto the chair next to the bed. She took his hands in hers and raised them to her breasts.
“These are for you.”
One corner of his mouth tilted up. “Exactly what I wanted.”
“Really? Because I can take them back if you don’t like them.”
“They’re perfect.”
“I’m glad you think so. They’re-”
He leaned in and took her left nipple in his mouth. She’d had more that she planned to say, but suddenly none of it was important. She wanted to feel everything he was doing to her. Feel his body against hers. Feel him inside her. Yes, the pleasure would be great, but she wanted the intimacy-the connection, more than she ever had before.
He moved between her breasts, licking and sucking her nipples, making her squirm and wish she were more naked. She ran her hands up and down his back, feeling the scars, but doing her best not to think about how he got them. That was for later. Tonight was about them being together.
He raised his head and pressed his mouth to hers. Their tongues tangled. She loved kissing him, but there were more pressing matters. She pulled back enough to kick off her sandals, then pushed down her jeans and thong. He removed his sweatpants and briefs. When he reached for her, she shook her head and pointed to the bandage on his arm.
“I’ll take charge,” she told him. “You’re not supposed to put any weight on that.” She knelt over him, straddling his hips and smiled. “I’m going to boss you around.”
“Or so you think.”
“Try me.”
She lowered her head so her hair teased his chest and belly, then kissed him. He cupped her face as he slid his tongue into her mouth. She clamped her lips around him and sucked. He groaned, dropped his hands to her hips and urged her back. She felt his erection flex against her.
He was already hard, which worked for her. She was already wet and ready. She lowered herself onto him. He squeezed his fingers into her hips.
“Not yet,” he said. “I have plans for you.”
“Excuse me, but who’s in charge? I believe that person is me.” She straightened and lowered herself onto him, taking all of him deep inside her.
His breath came out as a hiss.
Izzy loved the idea of controlling such a strong man. She had always believed that sex should be as much about play as it was about passion. So she locked her gaze with his and slowly raised her arms until they rested on top of her head. Then she moved up and down, watching him watch her, seeing what the sensation, not to mention the show, did to him.
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