Susan Mallery - Straight From The Hip

He got harder. Muscles tensed in his jaw as if he were trying to get and keep control. Foolish man. Didn’t he know this was about losing control? She moved up and down in a steady rhythm, stealing his ability to determine his fate.

There was only one flaw in her plan-she enjoyed it, too. He filled every part of her and each time she raised and lowered herself, he drove in deeper, arousing her, pushing her to the edge. Nothing in her body cooperated. Her skin was sensitized to every brush of his. Her heart pumped faster and faster. Her breasts bounced as if showing off and her muscles kept tensing in anticipation of a release she was determined to resist.

Nick moved his hand down her belly in a slow, sexy movement that mesmerized her. She knew where he was going but was less sure what he would do when he got there. She sucked in her breath, determined to be strong, then he cupped her center and pushed his middle finger between her curls to find that single spot of pleasure.

He circled it slowly, as if exploring, remembering. Around and around, never touching it exactly. She rocked her hips, hoping to push him onto the spot, resisting the need to guide his hand with her own. He knew exactly what he was looking for. If he wasn’t touching it, it was on purpose.

She could do this, she told herself, moving a little faster. She could hold off just as long as he could. She wouldn’t give in to the pleasure shooting through her.

Around and around. Up and down. Eyes locked, bodies straining, they moved in a sensual dance that left her gasping.

She tightened her muscles around him. He tensed but didn’t surrender. She went faster, so did he. Then he shifted slightly so his fingers pressed directly on that knot of nerves.

Izzy came in an unexpected rush of ecstasy. The shudders started deep inside of her and worked their way out. It was beyond pleasure-it was a new plane of being, of feeling. Then Nick pushed up hard and groaned, losing himself in her. She knew because she could see it in his eyes. They continued to stare at each other all through their release, barely blinking, seeing all that was there and into each other’s soul.

When they were done, she slid off him and started to climb off the bed. He pulled her down next to him, rolling onto his side so they faced each other. Once again she stared into his eyes. He touched her cheek, her bottom lip, then he kissed her.

It was just a kiss. Soft and gentle. Almost like a promise. They moved together, her leg over his hip, him entering her again. She didn’t ask how he was already hard or why she was suddenly so close. He filled her, shorter strokes because of their position, but still satisfying.

Like before, they stared at each other. She knew she could get lost in his green eyes, possibly forever. And what would happen if she couldn’t find her way back? This was the man she loved. Terrifying but true. But what would he do with her heart? Could she trust him? Then the pleasure swept through her and she couldn’t think anymore. There was only the magic of being with this man. Maybe it was enough.

IZZY RUBBED DOWN Jackson. The horse stood in the sun, seeming to enjoy the attention. Every now and then he gave her a friendly head butt.

“You’re getting sassy,” she told him. “I’m not sure that’s such a good thing.”

He snorted.

“Of course you think it’s fine. You already know you’re a darned handsome horse, don’t you. It’s important to be all nice and clean for the weekend. We have three more kids coming.”

Aaron had told her that morning. At least she was pretty sure that’s what he’d said. It was hard to tell with the glow from last night still burning inside her.

For the first time in her life, she knew the difference between having sex and making love. It wasn’t in the act itself. She’d enjoyed the physical part of what she and Nick had done. What had made it different, what had made it matter, was how she’d felt after. There had been a sense of belonging. Just as scary, she knew she’d exposed a part of herself to him. An intimate part she never showed anyone.

Love. It was terrifying. What did it mean? And more confusing, what was she supposed to do? Tell him?

“No,” she said aloud. “That’s not a good plan.”

Because she knew in her gut Nick didn’t want to hear the words. Not from her and not from anyone else. He wouldn’t believe it was okay for him to love anyone and certainly wouldn’t think he was someone who should be loved. There was a whole lifetime of punishment in his future. Or so he thought.

She had to figure out a way to make him see that he’d set himself on an impossible task. The rules were such that he couldn’t win. Of course he’d made a mistake, but at some point didn’t he get to have a life, too? Didn’t the good outweigh the bad?

The problem was he was trying to earn forgiveness, which was yet another impossible task. Forgiveness was a state of grace. Like faith, it either existed or it didn’t.

“Deep thoughts,” she told Jackson. “And I’ve only had one cup of coffee. Impressive, huh? Okay. Back to those kids.”

Aaron hadn’t told her much about them, mostly because he hadn’t been told either. She knew it was their first visit and that they’d been involved in domestic violence. The possible horrors were endless, but that wasn’t her concern. She was going to help them learn to ride so they could have fun and forget about whatever bad thing existed.

She heard footsteps and turned, expecting either Aaron or Nick. Instead her visitor was Garth Duncan.

Izzy wouldn’t have been more shocked to see a talking garden gnome, or the devil.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded, wishing she’d thought to bring a gun. Not that she knew if Nick kept any around. She was going to have to ask.

“So the operation was a success,” he said.

“What?”

“You can see me.”

“Better to be blind.”

Garth smiled. “You’re always a challenge, Izzy. I like that about you.”

Righteous anger filled her, giving her strength. “Is that why you tried to kill me? To show your affection?”

His expression hardened. “That wasn’t me. I had nothing to do with the explosion.”

“Right. And of course I’ll believe you.”

He wore jeans, a long-sleeved shirt and boots. Despite his billions, he looked at home in the barn. Maybe he was one of those men who looked at home anywhere.

“Ask me about any of the other incidents,” he said. “I’ll tell the truth. I didn’t have anything to do with what happened to you.”

For a second she wanted to believe him. There was something in his dark eyes-the truth maybe? She wasn’t sure. Then she shook her head. There was no way she was getting weak when it came to Garth.

“Are you saying that in the battle to ruin my family, you have limits? I don’t think so.”

“You’re wrong,” he said, “but that’s not why I’m here. I wanted to check on Nick.”

She frowned. “How do you know anything happened to him?”

Garth smiled. “We’re old friends. Didn’t he tell you?”

Despite the shock and pain that ripped through her, she refused to go for the bait. “Sell it somewhere else.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“Why should I? You’re a known liar.”

“I do many things, Izzy, but I don’t lie. I know Nick. I have for years. We were roommates in college.” He chuckled at the memory. “What a geek. He was fifteen or sixteen, clueless when it came to anything about girls. But he was smart. Scary smart, and a good kid. We became friends.”

She didn’t believe him. She repeated the words over and over because it was the only way to make them true. He had to be lying, because if he wasn’t, then Nick had kept his relationship with Garth from her. Nick had known what was going on and not said a word. He’d betrayed her.

“After college he went to work for my company,” Garth continued as he reached for the front of his shirt and started unbuttoning it. “Did he tell you about finding oil in South America? Did he tell you what happened next?”

She didn’t want to look, didn’t want to see the proof, but she couldn’t turn her head. Garth pulled apart the fabric and exposed a network of scars eerily similar to the ones Nick carried.

Her legs nearly gave way. She leaned against Jackson to stay standing.

“No,” she whispered, even though she knew it was true. All of it.

“I kept him alive all those months, then he carried me out. Nick and I are like brothers. He’s on my board of directors, Izzy. Why do you think you’re here? I arranged it.”

She couldn’t breathe. Her throat had tightened to the point where she could barely speak.

“Nick knew I wanted you here, so he brought you.”

“No,” she whispered.

“He’s known from the beginning. In the battle for Nick’s soul, I’ll always win.” He buttoned his shirt and shrugged. “There are some things a person can’t get over. You know Nick. Tell me-do you think there’s anything you can say or do that compares to what he and I went through?”

She was going to pass out. The shock was too great. Everything she’d thought, everything she’d believed…She’d trusted him, cared about him, fallen in love with him.

“Nick works for me,” Garth told her. “He always has. This is nothing but a game for him. I guess you didn’t figure that out.”

“Get out,” she said weakly.

“Sure. No problem.” He walked away a few feet, then turned back to her. “Ask him, Izzy. He’ll confirm everything.”

“Get the hell out!” she yelled.

“Right.”

He walked around the barn. A few seconds later, she heard a car engine start.

Ask Nick, he’d said. But she didn’t have to. She already knew the truth.

IZZY CLUNG to Jackson, her arms around his neck, his warm body providing comfort. Her stomach churned, her hands and feet felt cold. She was sick to the very core of her.

“I don’t believe it,” Rita said from behind her. “I heard him and I don’t believe it.”

“I do,” Izzy said, straightening and brushing the tears from her eyes. “He was with Nick in college and later in South America. I saw the scars.”

Nick had always talked about the other guy he’d been held captive with, but had never mentioned his name. And she’d never thought to ask. It hadn’t seemed important.

“I know Nick,” Rita said. “He wouldn’t do this.”

Exactly what Izzy would have thought five minutes ago. “He was in on it from the beginning. He was working for Garth when he took me from my sisters.”

She thought about all the times they’d talked, how he’d baited her and challenged her until she’d left her room and started living again. He’d kissed her, held her, made love with her, all the while knowing it was a game. He’d led her to believe that he’d opened his heart to her. But it had all been a lie.

She didn’t know what to feel, what to think. Everything hurt. Her body was ice and fire and she just wanted to make it all go away. How could it be true? How could she have been so wrong?

She’d fallen in love with one of Garth’s men. Nick had never cared about her. He’d been playing a part and she’d trusted him with her very soul.

“I’m so stupid,” she murmured.

“You couldn’t have known.”

“I should have guessed. I was too easy. He was too perfect.” She walked to Rita and hugged her. “I have to go.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do.”

“You did everything. You made me believe in myself again. Thank you.”

Rita grasped her arms and stared into her face. Izzy knew the other woman couldn’t see her, but that wasn’t important. Rita saw to the heart of things.

“Be sure,” Rita told her. “Be sure before you decide. This isn’t the man I’ve known for years. He’s better than this.”

“I’ll be sure,” Izzy lied. She liked Rita enough to leave her with a few illusions intact, but she knew the truth. Once again Garth had struck where they were all most vulnerable. It was a gift. Maybe later she would be able to admire it, but right now she had to get out of here.

She hurried back to the house and made her way to her room. She couldn’t think too much or the tears would start again and she wasn’t going to give Nick the satisfaction of knowing he’d made her cry. She got her suitcases out of the closet and began packing. She worked quickly, shoving things in as fast as she could. Wrinkled clothes were the least of her problems. All she wanted was to get out before Nick showed up. Was it too much to ask?

She got her answer when she heard footsteps in the hallway.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he said as he entered the room. “What are you doing?”

She kept packing, not wanting to look at him. “You’re a smart guy. Figure it out.”