Susan Mallery - Straight From The Hip

“You love him.”

“Which again brings the stupid thing to mind.” Tears filled her eyes. She fought them, determined not to cry over him. He wasn’t worth it.

The doorbell rang. Dana stood.

“You want them in here?”

“I’ll come out,” Izzy said.

She stood and followed Dana to the small living room of her apartment. Her friend opened the front door and Skye and Lexi spilled in.

“I can’t believe it,” Skye said as she rushed forward to hug Izzy. “I can’t. He seemed so nice. Oh, Izzy. I’m sorry. This is my fault. I made you go there.”

“Always the martyr,” Lexi said, taking her turn hugging her sister. “We both decided sending Izzy to Nick was a good idea. You don’t get all the guilt, Skye.”

“But my former assistant is the one who recommended Nick.”

Izzy held them both. “I’m sure if you do a little checking, you’ll find she has some connection to Garth. It’s nobody’s fault but mine. You sent me there so I would find the courage to have the surgery. Which I did. The falling-in-love part shouldn’t have been on the agenda.”

Her sisters stepped back and stared at her with identical wary expressions.

“Real love?” Lexi asked quietly.

“As opposed to the fake kind? Yes. Real love. Stupid but true.”

Skye twisted her hands together. “I’m glad you finally opened up to someone, but I’m sorry it was him.”

“Cruz wants him dead,” Lexi said. “If that helps. Or at the very least beaten and left on the side of the road.” She glanced at Dana. “You didn’t hear that.”

“Hear what?”

Izzy sank onto the plain dark blue sofa in Dana’s modestly furnished living room. “I’m fine,” she said as Lexi sat on one side of her and Skye sat on the other. Thankfully Dana took the chair opposite. She couldn’t handle them all crowding around her.

“You’re not fine,” Skye said.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“You know what I mean. You must feel terrible. I know how I felt when I thought Mitch was working with Garth.” She balled up her hands into fists. “But this is worse. It sounds like Nick is Garth’s best friend. I hate them both. I’ve never hated anyone before but I really hate Garth the most.”

“I know,” Lexi muttered. “It’s so damn personal. What is up with that? He can’t just attack our businesses? No. He has to go for the heart.”

“I’m going to get him,” Dana told them. “I’ve been talking to my friends at the Dallas police department and they’re getting close. I’m going to be the one bringing him in for questioning. I promise you all that he will pay.”

Dana looked fierce, which Izzy appreciated. She had love and support. That was something. She would make a new life for herself. None of what had happened with Nick changed her mind about college or what she would study. Obviously the fantasy about working with him on his ranch was over, but she could still make a difference.

“Thanks,” she told them all. “I’ll get through this.”

“You will,” Lexi promised. “You’re strong. Stronger than you know. In time, the pain will fade. Then you have to deal with the anger. Eventually you get back to normal.”

Izzy couldn’t imagine ever being normal again.

“You’ll find someone else,” Skye told her.

“Ever the romantic,” Dana said, rolling her eyes.

“She will. She’s opened her heart once. Now she knows how.”

“Lucky me,” Izzy murmured, thinking she would never fall in love again. It wasn’t worth it. Love was pain. She’d learned that as a child and had only gotten into trouble when she’d allowed herself to forget the truth.

Loving and losing Nick had fundamentally changed her. It was like a loss of innocence. She doubted she would ever be able to trust anyone ever again.

THE NEXT DAY Dana didn’t want to leave Izzy alone, which Izzy knew in theory was very sweet but she didn’t need one more person watching over her.

“Go to work,” Izzy told her. “We need you to bring in Garth.”

“Call me if you need anything.”

“I promise.”

“Don’t start looking for a job. Not for a few more days.”

Izzy ignored that and pulled out the paper as soon as her friend left.

The fastest way to earn money would be to go back on an oil rig. In three months she could save enough to support herself for at least a semester of college. But that felt too much like returning to who she’d been before. As if she hadn’t changed at all. She didn’t want that.

“Money or principle,” she murmured to herself as she poured more coffee. “Is that always the question?”

There was a knock on the front door of Dana’s condo. She looked at it, hating the swell of hope she felt inside. It wasn’t Nick. He wasn’t the type to come after anyone. But that statement didn’t stop her heart from thudding hard in her chest as she walked to the door and pulled it open.

Standing there was possibly the last person she’d ever expected to see.

“You’re not still blind, are you?” Jed asked as he pushed past her and walked inside. “I heard you could see. Is that true?”

“Morning, Dad,” she said. “I’m fine. How are you?”

“Too busy for bullshit.” He waved his hand in front of her face. “Well?”

“Very sensitive. Yes, I can see.”

“Good. You’re going to get a call from a man I work with. His name is Bill. Don’t ask me anything ridiculous, like is he cute. How would I know? He’s a business associate and I need him to be happy right about now. So when he asks, you’re going to say yes. Understand?”

She wasn’t even surprised. After all these years she was finally useful to her father.

“I understand,” she said coolly, “but I won’t be going out with him.”

“Of course you will.” Jed stood a full head taller than her. He glared down at her. “I need this, Izzy. Things are bad and you owe me.”

“For what? Being born? I don’t think that was much of a hardship on you. So no. I don’t owe you.”

Jed puffed up like an irritated crow. “I raised you.”

“You paid nannies to raise me and you’ve pretty much ignored me all my life.” She pointed at the door. “Get out.”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me you’ll take Bill’s call.”

“That’s not what you want. You want me to sleep with him.”

“Why not? You’ve slept with everyone else.”

Anger built up inside her. She knew some of it came from a lifetime of being ignored by her father but a lot of it grew out of finding out about Nick. There was betrayal in her, and outrage.

“I’m not your whore to sell,” she told her father, practically spitting with rage. “I won’t do it.”

“The hell you won’t. Don’t push me, little girl. You won’t like the consequences.”

“Then stop threatening me.”

“You’re my daughter. I’ll do whatever I want.”

“I don’t think so.”

She reacted without thinking. Maybe it had been building for years. Maybe in her heart she believed he deserved it. Maybe it really was about Nick. Whatever the reason, she pulled back her arm and slapped Jed across the face.

The impact sent pain up her arm to her elbow, but it was worth it, she thought as he jumped back and yelped. Blood trickled down his face from a cut her ring had made.

“You bitch!”

“That’s me,” Izzy said, resisting the need to shake her hand. Instead she opened the front door. “You need to go.”

He dug a handkerchief out of his slacks pocket and dabbed at his nose, then swore again. “That’s it. You’re dead to me, girly. You’re not getting a penny out of my will.”

“Was I ever?”

He didn’t say anything. Instead he stalked outside and walked down the sidewalk.

Izzy closed the door behind him, then leaned against the hard surface. It took a few minutes for her heart rate to return to normal, but when it did, she was surprised to discover she was actually feeling much better about nearly everything. Apparently she should have hit her father years ago.

NORMA MIGHT NOT be talking to him, but at least she hadn’t left, Nick thought gratefully as he walked from the kitchen to his office. Unlike Aaron, who hadn’t been seen in days.

The kids due to arrive tomorrow would be fed, which was good, but he couldn’t confirm much else. It had taken him longer than it should have to confirm the cleaning crew, mostly because he didn’t understand Aaron’s filing system and hadn’t been able to find their phone number for nearly two hours. Rita wasn’t speaking to him, but she would have the horses ready. That was something.

The house had never seemed bigger or more empty. He’d lived here alone for a couple of years before Aaron had arrived. He’d liked the silence and solitude. Not anymore. Now it weighed on him, dragging him into darkness even in the brightest part of the day.

Izzy would be pleased-her hope that the nightmares would haunt him forever had been realized. They came every night but were worse than before. Because now she was there, with him. Tied up, tortured. He wasn’t blindfolded, either, but instead gagged. He could see them coming for her with their gleaming knives, could hear her screams and see the blood but he couldn’t help her or even speak to her. He could only endure, hour after hour, waking soaked in sweat, writhing with agony, desperate to escape.

He couldn’t take much more of it. For the first time in his life he understood why people escaped into madness. Nothing was worth nights like those.

But the nightmares weren’t the worst of it. Being awake, missing her, wanting her and knowing he’d lost her forever, was even more torture. He breathed the ache and there was no relief.

He paused in the doorway to his office, not interested in facing the paperwork the visit required, then frowned as he heard a familiar car pulling up out front. Seconds later Aaron walked into the house.

“I thought you were gone for good,” Nick told him. “You just left.”

“I’m not back because of you,” Aaron said, neither smiling nor looking happy to be there. “I’m here because three children are coming. They’ve been through enough and don’t deserve anything less than a fabulous time. Now I suppose you’re going to tell me you don’t need any help.”

“I can’t do it without you,” he said instead. “Thank you for being here.”

Aaron stared at him. “I expected so much more of you, Nick. You’re the guy who saved my life and I’ll always be grateful. You were my hero.”

Were being the operative word, Nick thought grimly, feeling like shit. “Aaron, I’m sorry.”

“For what? Making me feel bad or what you did to Izzy? I trusted you. Imagine how ridiculous I feel, knowing what you did to Izzy. She didn’t deserve it. You’re not that guy.”

There was no point in defending himself. “I know.”

“She loves you.”

More knives. These were the kind that cut to the bone but didn’t make him bleed. “I don’t know that she-”

“Just stop it,” Aaron told him. “She loves you and you betrayed her. I’m sure you’re telling yourself that it’s for the best. That you could never be the man she needs. Whatever it takes to look at yourself in the mirror.”

Aaron moved closer, his expression painfully sad. “Here’s the part I don’t get. She was good for you. She understood you and loved you, anyway. Do you know how rare that is? How special? But you don’t care. All you want is to feel guilty. You like hiding in the past-it keeps you from having to take a chance on the future. You’re not punishing yourself. You’re not atoning. You’re taking the easy way out.”

Nick did his best to hold down his anger. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure I do and that’s what you can’t stand. It’s like the ranch. You want to do it all yourself, but you can’t. You need us all. Just like you need Izzy. Only you’ll never admit it. You think you’re not allowed to love anyone or that it makes you weak. You know what? You’re wrong. Love is the only thing that makes us strong. It’s all that matters in the end. Who we love and who loves us.”

He paused and drew in a breath. “I don’t know all the secrets of your past. I don’t know what you’re running from. What I do know is you’ll never escape by hiding. You’ll never find what you need. You’ll just destroy everyone around you. Heroes don’t do that.”

Nick stepped out of the way as Aaron pushed past him. Then he walked into his office and shut the door.

Aaron’s words ripped through him, mostly because they were true. He had been hiding. Because by not living he could make the past right? He’d always assumed he knew what he was doing-that if he didn’t get involved, no one would get hurt.

He’d been wrong. Everyone he cared about had been hurt. So what did he do now?

“IZZY TITAN,” the stable manager said, looking over Izzy’s application. “You’re not related to those fancy, rich Titans are you?”