Alla Kar - Stroke Of Fear

   Mrs. Jones holds up her hand. “Let him finish.”

   Tanner’s Adam’s apple bobs in his throat when he swallows. “So, I brought her back to her cabin. Jake was there, saw my arm wrapped around her and came at me. So, yes, I fought him. What was I supposed to do? Let him hit me? I defended myself. Momma didn’t raise no fool.”

   I bark out a laugh. It’s not the right time, I know. But, who says that? The corner of his lip rises. “Something funny?” he whispers.

   I shake my head.

   “Hush,” Mrs. Jones says. Her face is red now. I think I’ll shut up. “Is that true, Jake? Did you come at Tanner?”

   Jake’s jaw pops from clenching it so tight. “Yes.”

    “Well, I believe Tanner needs an apology.”

   “Hell no,” Jake says, sitting up in his seat. “I’m not apologizing to him. He shouldn’t have been with my girl.”

   “I’m not your anything, Jake. Drop it.”

   “Don’t say that. Don’t fucking—”

   “Shut up,” Mrs. Jones interrupts. “Say it. Now. Or you’ll go home and not be welcomed back.”

   Jake holds Tanner’s glare. Neither one of them blink. “Sorry,” Jake says.

   “Now,” Mrs. Jones interlocks her fingers around her knees. “On to other matters. Where were you two this morning?”

   Fuck. I press my mouth together. I’m so not going to say it out loud. Assumptions are going to be made—even if I wanted those said assumptions—they didn’t happen.

   Squeezing my hand, Tanner clears his throat. “Last night we went to a place about a mile from here. It’s a little field with a pond. We sat on the tailgate and watched the sunset and then fell asleep. We forgot to set our alarms, so we missed breakfast.”

    Mrs. Jones presses her lips together. “There will be no funny business at this camp. I would have to be stupid to think none of the camp counselors would hit it off. That’s fine …”she says, uneasily. “However, there won’t be any sleeping outside of your own cabin at night. I won’t tolerate it.”

   Tanner nods. “Yes, ma’am. I promise it won’t happen again.”

   She turns to me, her short, gray bob moving with the motion. She lifts an eyebrow. “No, ma’am. It won’t happen again.”

   She nods. “Okay, well, we need to get to the next camp activity. You all have your schedules. Get ready. Tanner and Aubrey you’re taking a group of seven camping.” She narrows her eyes. “Behave.”

   Cassie snorts, which makes Eric snort. Mrs. Jones closes her eyes. “Get to your activities before I come to my senses and fire you all. Go.” She shoos us away with her hand.

   Everyone piles out of the room. Cassie wraps her hand around my elbow and pulls me out in front of Tanner.

   She presses me against the outside of the building. “Details. Now. I need them.”

   “Calm down. You sound like a horny housewife. We did just what Tanner said. We fell asleep.”

   Her face falls in disappointment. She holds her hand out to the side. “Nothing happened? You didn’t even kiss?”

   A smile forms on my face without me knowing it. She squeals. “Oh! You did. Tell me. Was it good? Can he kiss?”

   “Cassie,” I say, grabbing her shoulders. “If someone could fuck your mouth with their own, that’s exactly what he did.”

   She rolls her eyes back in her head and fans herself with her hand. “Oh, I knew it. He has those sexy lips.”

   He sure does.

   “Did you see Jake’s face when he grabbed your hand? I thought he was going to run over there and break his fingers. Not that it looks like he can beat him up—I mean, look at Jake’s face.”

   I squirm. Even though I’m over Jake, and I’m no longer in love with him like I once was, I don’t want to see him hurt.

   I pull at the end of my shirt. “I know. I don’t want him to hurt, Cassie. I just want him to get over me.”

   Cassie nods and gives me a hug. “He’ll be fine. He’s a looker. He can get a girl. You’ve obviously seen him in action at the lake, right? Don’t feel sorry for him. That’s what he wants.”

   I’m nodding and glancing over her shoulder as she keeps talking. I scan over the counselors scattered around talking. Jake is leaning against a tree, eyes focused on me, with some blonde yapping in front of him.

   Then I see the gray eyes I stared into all last night. A grin crawls dangerously slow up his mouth. Cassie’s right. He does have sexy lips.

   “Hey,” Cassie says, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

   “Sorry,” I straighten my back. “Listening.”

   She rolls her eyes. “Right. I was asking if you wanted me to go back to the cabin with you while you shower.”

   “Is that a polite way of telling me I need a shower?”

   She smiles. “Bingo. You smell like grass.” She gasps. “Did you two make out on the ground?”

   I push her shoulder. “No. We made out in the back of his truck.”

   “Swoon.” She bats her eyelashes. “That is some sexy country shit right there.”

   Cassie waits outside the shower door while I get ready. She hasn’t stopped talking since we got here. I don’t mind. I just pretend to listen while I scrub my body. I imagine Tanner’s hands are still there, trailing over my skin, keeping me warm from the chilly night.

   When I’m finished we both head toward the cafeteria. I stuff myself, since I missed breakfast. We leave in thirty minutes for our trip. Eric slams his tray down beside Cassie and waggles his brow.

   “So, that was an interesting meeting this morning.” He glances over his drink at me. I’m sure I’m as red as a damn tomato.

   I take a bite of my food. “Don’t even start, Eric.”

   He laughs, choking on his food. “Oh, come on. We all get it on—” Cassie elbows him in the rib. “Ouch,” he says.

   “They didn’t do it, jackass. Get out of their business.” She sips on her drink.

   “Right. Like you didn’t run over there and ask her a million questions.”

   She moves her lips to the side and narrows her eyes. “I’m her roommate. You’re just embarrassing her. Look how red she is.”

   Kill me now.

Someone taps me lightly on the shoulder. I look up and Jake is standing behind me. Damn. He looks like a puppy dog someone’s been beating. Too bad I’m a cat person.

“What is it?” I ask.

   He swallows, and it looks like it hurts. Even though I don’t’ want to feel sorry for him, I do. His face is pretty fucked up.

“Can we talk?”

   I close my eyes. “Not right now. I’m eating. And I have to get ready to go camping.”

   He screws his eyes shut like he’s in pain from hearing that. “Please?” He lets out a breathless sigh.

   Cassie kicks my leg underneath the table and gives me the eye.

“Okay, two seconds.”

   I follow Jake outside and toward the corner of the building. He stops and leans against the wall. “Aubrey.”

   The way he says my name makes my stomach queasy. “Jake.”

   He looks down at me, big brown eyes wide. “Please, don’t date him. I miss you. So much.”

   I cross my arms over my chest and glance out at the field to my left. “I like him, Jake. A lot. I don’t know if you’ve felt it, but we’ve slipped away. We’re not the same as we were.”

   “Because of you,” he says, pointing his finger toward my chest. “You were so closed up when I met you. I was surprised you let me in. Then I realized… you hadn’t. You just went with the flow. I was determined to make you open up with me, but it never happened.” Kicking off the wall, he grabs my chin in his hand, forcing me to look up at him. “Why? Why was I never good enough to open up to?”

   I shrug, and move my chin out of his grasp. “I never felt comfortable. After four years of dating you, I didn’t feel like I could tell you why I was so closed up.”

   “But he knows, doesn’t he?”

   I don’t answer. Jake knows the answer and he wants to hear it. Pressing my lips together, I take a step back. “I have to go.”

   “Please?” Jake snatches my arm.

   “Stop,” I say, ripping from his hold. “I have to go.”

   He takes a step back, looking at me like he’s never seen me before. He’s lost. Eyes wide, lips parted.

   I turn and walk toward our meeting spot. I’m through letting him mess with my head.

Aubrey

   Tanner is talking to a few boys when I walk up. His eyes catch mine, and he smiles. Really smiles. My heart thumps a few beats faster, and I quicken my step. Not realizing I’m doing so.

   “Hey,” he whispers, adjusting his backpack.

    “You ready to do this?” I tug my own pack up my shoulder. I hate this damn thing. It has my tent, sleeping bag, food and my cell phone shoved down in it. Tanner reaches over and grabs my pack with ease. He slings it over his free shoulder.

   “You know, this isn’t the nineteen hundreds. You don’t have to break your back so you can carry my bags.”

   “You don’t think I can handle it?”

   I squeeze his bicep. “I guess you’ve got it under control.”

   He rolls his eyes. We get the group together, and double check all seven of their bags. Austin’s coming, and I saw the irritation in Tanner’s face when he saw his name on the roster.

   The hike up the trail is three miles. My feet are killing me in these hiking boots my mom got me. She said I would need them this summer. I’m fighting the urge to bury them in the woods.

   We stop halfway and have a snack and water, then we start back. Tanner looks hot hiking with me. A bead of sweat rolls down the side of his face, into the scruff of his jaw. I want to lick it off.

   It’s nightfall by the time we get there. The camp is a clearing in the middle of nowhere. I’m not sure how safe this is, but there were no murders listed when I Googled the camp three weeks ago. I’m hoping it doesn’t start now.

   “Ah,” I say, dropping to a log surrounding the campfire.

   Tanner eyes me rubbing my feet but doesn’t say anything. He gets everyone settled, and then starts to show them how to put up their tents. I’m glad he knows how, because the damn instruction pamphlet isn’t much help.

   A few minutes into attempting to put their tents up, Austin comes over with a ripped one in his hands. Tanner growls. “What the hell did you do?”

   Austin smiles and pushes his blond locks from his face. “It broke. I guess I’ll have to go back.”

   “No, you can use mine.” Tanner’s gaze catches mine and I know he wants to sleep in my tent. He lifts an eyebrow asking if its okay and I nod.

   Austin frowns. “Then where will you…?” he trails off, a smile forming on his face. “Ah, you’re going to share one with Aubrey. You’re welcome, bro. You’re welcome.”

   Tanner points toward his tent. “That’s yours. Don’t fuck it up, or I’m gonna whoop your ass.”

    Sharing a tent. Sure, I had imagined Tanner sneaking into my tent late tonight, holding me like he did in the field. But, knowing he has to sleep with me warms my body everywhere.

   Tossing some logs into the fire, I try not to laugh. Even though Austin is obnoxious, I can’t help but like him. He has that effect on people.

   The night is settling in, the crickets singing, the moon hangs brightly in the sky. Beside the moonlight, the fire is the only other source of light. The kids eat their Lunchables, and the ones who will eat the beans Tanner made shovel those in their mouths. I watch as he stirs the pot that was here for us, his muscles clenching with each movement. My thoughts drift back to the night before. He felt so warm and safe. And God, he can kiss.

   “See something you like, Blondie?”

   I jump and drop my plastic fork.

“Austin,” I say, grabbing another one from the package.

   He laughs and taps my shoulder. “You like my brother, huh?”

   I sigh but don’t answer. I don’t have to answer him.

   “Humm,” he says, chomping on his food. “He’s a good guy. Damaged, but good. But, I kind of think you’re damaged, too.”

   What. The. Hell? “How would you know that?” I ask, keeping an eye over all the kids eating.

   “I see it in your eyes. It’s the same look Tanner gets when Amanda is mentioned.”

I know that look. I see it every day in the mirror.

   Tanner sits down on the other side of me with his food and nudges my shoulder. “My brother givin’ you a hard time?”