Alla Kar - Stroke Of Fear

   Tipping the flask back, I swallow a gulp of hard liquor. I don’t even remember what I put in here. My adrenaline races through me. All I can see is her. Not Amanda. Not the girl I loved. Not the one that death stole from me. But Aubrey. The girl I meet two days ago. The girl I saved. The girl who hasn’t left my thoughts.

   Pressing my face against the shower wall, I wrap my hand around my dick. The pain is haunting me. You shouldn’t be doing this. Not to another girl. But, I can’t help it. I stroke myself up and down, imagining her full lips wrapped around me, taking me in her throat—the moans I can imagine her letting out as her nails dig into me.

   Goddamn. Every cell in my body seems to be on edge. I want her. Need her. Why? I have no fucking idea. She slapped the shit out of me, and I want it again. I want her flustered. Underneath me. Only two fucking days and I want her.

   My release comes a few minutes later, washing down the drain. Once I grab my flask from the side, I down the rest of the cool brown liquid.

   “Get it together, Tanner,” I rasp. “Get it the fuck together.”

Aubrey

“Well, we now know that breakfast is beast. All the bacon you can eat,” Cassie says, kicking up a tornado of dust with her shoe. “So, you have canoeing with Jake…” she trails off. She doesn’t need to say anything else. I know what’s she’s getting at.

   “Don’t remind me,” I say, pulling at my ponytail. I actually tried to look decent today. Well, as decent as you can in a blue polo and khaki shorts. At least there isn’t a length requirement. “It’s going to be a long ass day.”

   Cassie wraps her arm around me and pulls me closer. “It’s going to be a great day,” she says, showing her white teeth. “You’re going to go kick ass at every activity and then go make-out and fondle someone behind a tree. It’s exhilarating.”

   I snort. “That’s what you’re going to be doing, Cassie. Not me. And I know you took a shower with him. I heard you two laughing.”

   A devilish grin rides up her face. “I like to live on the wild side. Oh, speaking of, Tanner caught us making out last night.”

   Hearing his name makes my stomach tighten. I know it shouldn’t—I met the guy two days ago—but, it does. “What was he doing out that late?”

   “Why? You want to sneak out to meet him tonight?”

   Rolling my eyes, I push my shoulder against hers. “No, just curious. It freaks me out that all the counselors are walking around outside at night. It’s creepy.”

   “Puh-lease,” Cassie says. “You like him. I know it. And you’re gonna get some Tanner loving before the summer is up.”

   “Don’t hold your breath. I’ll see you later. I’m going this way.”

She runs off screaming, “Aubrey’s gonna get laid!” Damn her.

   The lake is toward the back of the camp, behind a shitload of trees. It’s a pretty big lake. I have no intention of getting in the water with the campers. Jake can do it. I’ll get them in line and ready, but I’m not stepping foot into that water. When the trees start to dwindle down, I see Jake standing on the dock. His back is toward me, but I know it’s him.

   Then an arm snakes around his waist. What. The. Fuck. My stomach feels like it’s falling from my body. A small girl with, from what I can tell, a huge rack is staring up at him. He runs his fingers through her hair. Fucking bastard.

   Anger isn’t even the fucking word. Did he not come beg me to be with him last night? Had we not come to the conclusion we were going to give it some time and then try again? I guess this is his way of giving it some time. Fucking other girls.

   Swallowing the lump in my throat, I push toward them. My legs are shaking but I march forward anyway. They don’t see me until I’m standing on the dock with them. Jake drops his hand and then girl pouts up at him.

   “Aubrey, baby…what’s going on? You’re early.” He looks at his watch and gives me a small fake laugh.

   “So are you. I’m getting the canoes ready. I think you should stay here and try to soften her up so you can fuck. That’s what you’re good at, right?”

   Jake’s jaw drops from his mouth. “Baby—”

   “Save it. Then shove it up your ass later when you realize that you’re the biggest fuckup known to mankind.” I curtsy toward the wide-eyed, big-racked counselor. “Excuse me,” I say.

   The breath I take releases a ton of pressure off of my chest. What an asshole. I get to the dock on the other side of the lake without even glancing at the water. When I turn I see Jake halfway across the lake, walking toward me.

  “Stop. Turn your ass around and go fondle the girl over there. I’m not in the damn mood. Fuck off.”

   Jake stops, shoves his hands in his jeans pocket and turns back toward the other dock.

   Thank God.

   I talk underneath my breath as I try to get myself together. I’m reaching out to grab the rope that ties the canoes to the dock, when I hear a deep laugh. It sounds like caramel drizzling down a poisoned apple. Deadly delicious. I turn on my heel. Tanner is sitting off to the side of the dock, fishing pole in hand. Holy fuck. He’s out of his camp uniform. A red plaid shirt, unbuttoned, is hanging loose on him. Christ, he doesn’t have an undershirt. And those holey jeans are so…God, they’re so hot.

   “I can take my shirt all the way off if ya want me to, darlin’.”

   All the blood in my body rushes toward my cheeks. “That full of yourself, are we?”

   He casts his line back out, and lifts an eyebrow. “No. I just happen to know when a hot girl is checking me out. It’s kind of like a gaydar. But for women.”

   I’m sure I’m as red as a tomato. “Why aren’t you with your group?”

   He cracks his neck and pulls his pole in. “I have a free morning. I don’t have any activities until tonight.”

   Oh. Biting my lip, I turn and start to reel in the canoes. My fingers are trembling being so close to the water, but I keep my eyes locked on the ropes.

“You need some help with those?”

   “No,” I pull, trying to make it look easy. “I got it.”

   A throaty laugh floats from behind me, closer than I had imagined. “Move over, I’ll help.”

   “I got it,” I snap.

   A low grumble sounds from his lips, and he scoots me out of the way. I turn around, and my breath catches in my chest. Tanner is close, too close. His tanned chest is glistening from sweat in the morning sun. “I want to help,” he whispers.

   “I don’t need it,” I say, still focused on the hard planes of his abs. My mind urges me to reach out and touch, but I don’t dare move. “Is this a southern thing? You try to be all macho and stuff? It’s annoying.” I snap out of it, crossing my arms over my chest.

   The blue specks in Tanner’s eyes are vibrant against the gray. “It’s called being a gentleman. Obviously you aren’t accustomed to that.”

   “And how in the hell would you know what I’m accustomed to? You just met me two days ago.”

   “Good to know you’re countin’.” He winks.

   Grinding my teeth, I try to snatch the rope, but he retracts his hands. “I’m helpin’ out a lady in need. Obviously”—his eyes dart toward Jake—“you’re not used to it. That guy is flirting with another girl in front of you. He’s fuckin’ trash, Aubrey.”

   Aubrey. God, I’ve never heard my name sound so…sexy. No sane girl could turn a cheek to that. I’m sure that deep southern drawl will drop any pair of panties, which is probably what he’s trying to do now. Not. Going. To. Happen.

   “Thanks for the help and advice but I can handle myself.”

   “I’ll say. That was sure some language comin’ out of that pretty little mouth of yours. Good girl. Don’t take any shit from anyone.”

   “Well, in that case,” I say, snatching the end of the rope. He pulls his end back, so I yank as hard as I can. I know this is stupid. I’m twenty-two years old. Damn it, give me the rope!

   Tanner jerks back, and I go flying forward, knocking him on his ass. My elbows hit the ground on each side of his head, then my face smacks right into his.

   I look down at Tanner, gasping for breath. A huge smile is crawling up his face. It’s breath-taking. I’ve yet to see him smile—well, really smile—and I think I just melted on the inside. My panties are soaking wet. Can I even move if I wanted to? His white teeth are shining, straight besides a small turn of the fourth one from the right. What. The. Hell. I’m staring at his mouth, which draws attention to his lips. Holy Hell his lips.

   Embarrassment floods to my cheeks. “You can get up anytime now, darlin’. Unless you want to stay like this. I won’t object.”

   Pressing my lips together, I push myself up. My body is still shaking from the closeness, from the heat of his body. It felt so…safe.

   “Now,” he says, dusting off his jeans. “We both know you can take care of yourself. Can I please finish brining in the canoes for you?”

   Licking my lips, I nod. “Fine.”

   I watch as Tanner pulls each canoe onto the shore. He’s lost his shirt, and the muscles in his back are thick, long and tanned. I want to run my tongue over every square inch of his body. And for some reason I don’t think he would tell me to stop.

   Tanner pulls the last canoe up to the bank, and he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand. Turning, he smiles over at me. “Need anything else?”

   I shake my head. “No, but thank you.”

   He tries not to smile. “It’s no problem. If you ever need help you know where to find me.” He points toward a bucket he was fishing off of.

   “You’re not leaving?”

   He sits down and picks up his pole. “Why not?”

   Because it’s going to make me nervous as hell. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I shrug. “Just asking. Thanks again.”

   I make my way back to the other dock where the kids are lining up. Jake’s whore isn’t here anymore, which I’m not complaining about. He’s checking the names off the clipboard when I walk up. Stopping, he glances down at me. “We need to talk.”

   “We need to work. Is everyone here?”

   He nods. “We’re ready when you are.”

   I clasp my hands together. “Okay, campers. Follow Jake. You guys are going to do a few laps around the lake.”

* * *

   “So, how did canoeing go today?” Cassie asks, slipping out of her camp uniform and into some jeans and a T-shirt.

   I let out an exasperated sigh. “God-awful. First I see Jake and some girl rubbing on each other and cuss them out. Then Tanner sees the entire thing, and I fall on him while he’s trying to help me get the canoes ready. I would rather do anything other than this campfire right now.”

   Cassie lets out a loud laugh and falls back onto her bed. “You fell on him? How freaking classic is that?”

   After sliding out of my khakis, I shrug into a pair of yoga pants and a thin T-shirt. “It was horrible that’s for sure.”

   Cassie stands up, and pulls her hair into a high ponytail. “Oh come on, just admit it. He is smoking hot and you love it.”

   My heart thumps an extra beat thinking of the warmth of his skin, the closeness, the long muscles hiding underneath that tanned skin. “He is pretty cute, but…he’s an ass.”

   “Really? An ass who saved your life and helped you get the canoes ready? Yeah, doesn’t really seem like an ass to me.”

   “It’s not that. I mean he’s a gentleman, but he has this look on his face.”

   “What kind of look, Aubrey?”

   “Like… ‘I know I’m hot.’”

   “Well,” Cassie says, placing her hands on her hips, “he has every right to think that. He is hot. And that’s confidence. It’s sexy. Plus, Jake has that same attitude, but he’s not a gentleman.”

   That’s so true. Instead of responding, I slip into my flip-flops and grab Cassie’s hand. “Let’s get this over with.”

   The smoke is heavy in the air the closer we get to the campfire. Most of the camp counselors are already there, too. Mrs. Jones is passing out marshmallows and chocolate for the s’mores. She has that crazy Energizer bunny smile on her face. She just keeps going.

   The fire is hot, cozy, and logs are set up around it in a circle. Some of the campers are whispering, hiding their jokes behind their hands. Cassie drags me, and I look up just in time to see Tanner. He’s leaning against a tree close by, eyes locked on mine. I try to wriggle from Cassie’s grasp, but she pulls me harder.