Carly Phillips - Summer Lovin’

"What?" Ryan asked in shock.

"She'd call collect or drop me a note. She'd remind me of what she knew and I lived in abject fear of her revealing all. But then after a while the threats stopped. It seemed as if she was cleaning up her act and I was able to justify sending her away. But then it was silent for too long. I was petrified of her going back on drugs, or exposing me. That's when I began my investigation into her whereabouts."

Ryan's head pounded and he braced himself for his uncle's next admission.

"I found out she'd died in a drug dispute," he said, his voice cracking.

"You kept that from my parents? From me? You let me investigate and search and hope?"

Russ nodded. "Please hear me out. When I first found out, the guilt nearly killed me. I blamed myself and I stopped my part in bilking the insurance company. It helped that the feds were cracking down and the guys I dealt with wanted to lay low and focus on other things."

"And with Faith gone, so was the threat of discovery," Ryan said.

Russ nodded. "I stayed clean and focused on you, but the guilt never went away. Guilt over sending her away, over her death, over keeping the news from you, but I couldn't see what good it would do to tell you. I couldn't hurt you that way."

"Or deal with my reaction to your role in it."

Russ hung his head. "That, too."

"But then I started investigating on my own. With only partial information to go on, since you withheld the important things, like my sister's death," Ryan said with contempt.

"Guilty as charged," Uncle Russ admitted dully.

Ryan leaned back in the chair, his body heavy with the weight of everything he'd just heard.

"How did you feel when Ryan found out something you hadn't? When he found Sam?" Zoe's voice startled Ryan and he glanced her way. She was face-to-face with his uncle.

Uncle Russ merely shook his head and Zoe continued. "I can answer that. You got nervous that maybe she knew something or had something that could implicate you, isn't that right?"

Ryan's gaze shot back to his uncle. "Is she right?"

Uncle Russ nodded and nausea churned in Ryan's gut. He'd had enough revelations today to last a lifetime, but Zoe obviously wasn't finished.

"You were so nervous this child of Faith's might know something or have something of her mother's that you hired someone to break into my family's home and tear the place apart, starting with Sam's room," she said, accusing him of something that had never even crossed Ryan's mind. While he'd been consumed with the past, Zoe had been focused on the present.

"She's right about this, too, isn't she?" Ryan said, knowing the answer before he'd asked the question.

Defeated, Russ merely nodded. "But how did you know?"

"The guy's in jail in Boston and we found out he has a mob connection to the same people involved in the truck robberies. I also had my brother-in-law run a check on you during Faith's troubled years." She shot Ryan a regretful glance, but he wasn't about to be angry at her.

"Do you know how badly I wanted to be wrong?" she asked Russ. "Ryan loves you. He believed in you. I didn't want to think that you were capable of something so low," Zoe said, her anger and fury evident in the clench of her fists and the barely controlled tone of her voice. "Do you realize you scared a fourteen-year-old girl half to death and you violated my parents' home, all to save your sorry- " She stepped forward.

Ryan rose and grabbed her by the waist to prevent her from going after his uncle. Her Mediterranean blood was fired up and though he'd like nothing better than to let her take care of the man, he was compelled to protect her from her own anger.

When her breathing slowed and he knew she'd calmed down, he released her, holding her hand to be sure.

"You also pretended to extend an overture to Sam just so you could get your hands on her keys," Zoe said in disbelief. "She's a child and you violated her trust in the worst way. But then you'd already done the same thing to her mother, so why should Sam get in your way?"

With each word, with each revelation, Ryan's stomach rolled in sick disbelief. "I don't know who you are," he said, glancing at his uncle.

"Sometimes I don't know the answer to that, either," Russ said.

Zoe's hand still in his, Ryan pulled her toward the door.

"Ryan," his uncle called to him.

Ryan paused.

"I've always loved you- you and Faith," Russ told him. "And I pray that someday when you've had time to think this over, you'll see through my weakness and stupidity and realize that."

Unable to see anything at the moment, Ryan strode through the door with Zoe without looking back.

ZOE FOLDED HER LAST TANK TOP and placed it into her suitcase. A few more items and she'd be good to go. She glanced around the small guest room she'd called home for a short time and realized she'd always felt comfortable here. Not just here in this room, but here in Ryan's apartment and in his life. Surely that was because he hadn't been in his normal routine any more than she'd been in hers.

As she'd told him already, they needed to return to their jobs, their friends, their lives and then their differences wouldn't just be apparent, but dramatically so. Of that she was sure- no matter how much her heart hurt at the thought of leaving him.

Sam knocked, interrupting Zoe's thoughts. She bounced into the room and plopped herself cross-legged on the bed. "So we're going home?" she asked, her gaze on the bag.

Zoe nodded. "It's about time, don't you think?"

"I guess."

Catching the uncertainty in Sam's voice, Zoe knew the young girl had started to care for her new family and would find it difficult to leave them behind- even if it wasn't for good. The next chapter in all their lives promised to be a challenge.

"You had fun here, didn't you?" Zoe asked.

Sam twirled a long strand of her hair around one finger. "This last day or so, yeah I guess I did. Even the old lady isn't so bad as long as I keep Ima away from her." Sam snickered.

"Be nice, you," Zoe chided, but she was laughing, too.

Suddenly Sam sobered. "Am I gonna have to come live here?" she asked, her eyes deadly serious and too wise for her fourteen years.

Zoe turned and sat down beside her, joining her on the bed. "I wish I could say no, but there's a good chance you will."

Sam nodded slowly. "I figured."

Zoe narrowed her gaze, wanting to be sure she was reading Sam's mood correctly. That her lack of tantrums and yelling meant she'd begun to accept the inevitable and even look forward to her future a little bit.

"You're okay with this?" she asked the teen.

"I don't have much of a choice, right? The Baldwins are my real family. I love you guys, but even I know the law and kids always end up with their relatives even if it's not what's good for them."

That damnable lump rose in Zoe's throat. "Is that how you feel? That Ryan's family isn't good for you?"

"No," Sam whispered. She hung her head, shaking it from side to side at the same time. "They're not bad people. Grandma Vivian said she's learned from her mistakes. A person who says that can't be too awful."

Zoe smiled. "Good point."

"But I feel guilty."

Sam looked up with watery eyes and Zoe felt her pain like a punch in the stomach. "Why? All we want is for you to be happy."

"You guys took me in and wanted to adopt me." Her bottom lip quivered as she tried to find the words to explain. "I love you all so much and I feel bad liking these uptight people at all."

Zoe shook her head, rejecting Sam's guilt. "Liking them doesn't mean you love us any less." She reached for Sam's smaller hand. "You have a big heart, honey. Big enough for everyone in your life."

"As big as my mouth?" Sam grinned and at that moment, Zoe knew the teenager would be okay.

"When's Ryan driving us back?" Sam asked.

"Actually I thought we'd fly. I didn't want to put Ryan out and- "

"Isn't that for Ryan to decide?" The man himself stood in the doorway, eyeing the open suitcase with an unreadable expression.

Zoe's stomach cramped at the thought of the conversation to come. "Sam?" she asked pointedly.

"I know, I know, you want privacy," the young girl said with an exaggerated tone and a roll of her eyes that said she thought the adults in her life were complete dorks.

But Ryan didn't appear anything like a dork. Wearing a light blue short-sleeve polo shirt and khaki shorts, he looked completely masculine and self-assured. He was so sexy he literally took her breath away, reminding her exactly why it was time for her to leave.

Ryan cleared his throat.

Sam jumped off the bed. "I'm going, I'm going," she said, ducking underneath his arm.

He stepped into the room.

Sam shut the door behind her and yelled, "I'm gone." Her footsteps sounded behind her as she walked down the hall.

"Gotta love her," Zoe said, forcing a smile.

He strode toward her. "Please don't change the subject or make light of leaving. This is serious."

She inclined her head, feeling the guilt Sam had spoken of earlier. She didn't want to cause Ryan to feel bad. "You're right."

His gaze bore into hers. "And I'm serious about you."

She swallowed hard. "Ryan."

"Zoe," he mimicked, but he wasn't laughing. "I'm not going to say what you want to hear. I can't make it that easy on you."

She wondered if he could hear her heart pounding in her chest, wanting to leap out and- she didn't know what her heart wanted. Nor did she know what he desired from her.

"What is it you want from me? From us?" she asked him.

He held up his hand and she laced her fingers through his. His touch was warm, their connection solid, yet she couldn't discount what separated them- physical distance and social differences, she thought.

"I'll take an open mind to start," Ryan said.

She narrowed her gaze. "Meaning?"

"Meaning I agree that we have our own individual lives and we need to go live them."

She blinked, unsure she'd heard him correctly. He was letting her go? "Say that again?"

"I agree with what you've been saying, that we need to get back to our daily routine and the things that define our lives."

She nodded slowly. "Okay, then." She could zip her suitcase and hop on a plane. He wasn't stopping her. Just the opposite, in fact. He was giving her what she wanted, so why did she feel so bad?

Like her heart had been sliced open and would never heal?

"I'd just like to know that while we're apart, you'll keep an open mind. Remember the good times we shared. Can you do that?" he asked.

His voice soothed her emotions like warm honey and she savored the liquid heat and delicious feelings he inspired. He was giving her time and space. He respected her feelings and, as a result, she respected him even more.

"Of course I can think about the good times." It was probably all she would think about. "Besides, we'll keep in touch through Sam." She forced a smile, refusing to think about how difficult a mere friendship with him would be.

"Definitely," he said easily.

Too easily.

"Speaking of Sam," he continued. "I thought through everything you suggested, and you were right about that, too. You should take her home for the summer. Not only will your parents get time with Sam, but I'll have a chance to organize things around here."

Zoe waved her arm through the air. "Her school, her room, things like that?"

He shrugged. "Things," he said vaguely.

Well, he was entitled to his privacy no matter how much she disliked being shut out. "So what did you mean when you said you weren't going to make it easy on me or tell me what I want to hear?"

He curled his fingers around hers. "I'm not letting you go without reminding you that I love you. And remember, nothing is forever." He kissed her forehead, his lips lingering. "Not even goodbye."

On that enigmatic note, he released her without even a kiss on the lips.

* * *

ONE WEEK HAD PASSED since Ryan had driven Zoe and Sam to the airport, and he still felt as if he'd put his heart on the plane with them. Letting Zoe go, allowing her to think he wanted the break, was the most difficult thing he'd ever done.

He hoped it was the smartest.

He hadn't been able to think of another way to force her into realizing that she missed him when they were apart and that they could easily make a life together- if only she came to terms with her fears.