Her eyes squeezed tight, trying to hold back the flood of moisture welling in them. It was only then that she realized that her whole life had been a lie. “I used to think you were the only person who ever knew and accepted the real me, but I don’t even know the real me. I spent so much time trying to please you that I never got to know who Patti was.”
She felt so completely alone in that moment that she finally did cry. It was the worst feeling she ever had, being cast out into the world having no idea whom she was, and with so many questions bouncing around in her head. The only thing she knew for sure was what she wanted, and it looked like that wasn’t going to happen. She was on her own.
“I know I can’t blame you for everything. I’m my own person and I’ve made many mistakes. I would never give up the time we spent together, but I just wish things could have been different. Maybe then I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to your headstone.” Smoothing her fingers across the engraved lettering, she asked him, “Do you even know I’m here?”
Her hand dropped. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if he were going to give her an answer.
“I should probably get going,” she muttered. As she stood up to brush dirt from her pants, she hesitated. “I’m sorry things got so heavy today, Daddy. I just needed someone to talk to that would listen and understand, and you were always so good at that.” She smiled as she dropped down facing the gleaming black marker. “I have some good news, though,” she said, pausing for dramatic effect. “You’re going to be a grandpa.”
The excitement of her news faded as soon as the words left her mouth and she realized that her father would never get to meet him or her. He’d never get to hold them or take pictures with them or send them presents for their first Christmas. It was just one more reason to be angry with him, but she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to focus on the negatives, because there had been far too much of that in her life already. She just wanted to be happy.
“Don’t worry, Daddy,” she told him. “I’ll make sure he or she knows who you are. I’ll tell them all about you and what an amazing person you were. I’ll tell them so much about you that they’ll feel like you’ve been there all their lives. But you will be there, won’t you, in your own way.” Kissing her fingertips, she pressed them to the cold stone, spoke her goodbyes, and turned to leave.
She hadn’t taken more than a few steps when she looked up to find a familiar face staring back at her. “Jon, what are you doing here?” she asked, her knees wobbling slightly from just the sight of him.
He’d parked his truck on the path behind her car. He looked so good dressed in a pair of light blue jeans that hung low on his tapered hips and a simple white T-shirt. His big body leaned against the side of the truck, and he didn’t take his eyes off her for a second as she made her way over to him.
“Why didn’t you wait for me?” His voice was low and gritty, and it made Patti shiver.
It took her a moment for his meaning to sink in. “You seriously think I would want to stay and wait for you?” she asked, incredulous. “And do what? Catch up on the morning news with your girlfriend, no, thanks.”
Jon’s mouth curved up in mild amusement. “So I was right.”
Patti could feel herself growing irritated. “Right about what?”
“Tell me, Patricia, when she opened the door, were you pissed off, or just plain jealous?”
Patti narrowed her eyes, anger suffusing her every cell. How dare he make fun of her? Is that what he had come here for, to grind it in that he had so easily replaced her? “You’re an asshole,” she told him, and spun around, determined to get the hell out of there before she burst into tears and embarrassed herself further.
Patti felt the heat from Jon at her back and felt the grip of his hand on her arm as he spun her back around and pressed her up against the side of his truck. “Not so fast,” he said, framing her in. She almost forgot how incredibly blue Jon’s eyes were. The intensity in them held her prisoner as he stared down at her. “We have some things we need to talk about.”
“I think I’ve said everything.” Patti sneered, trying and failing to break free of his cage. His arms were like steel bands, pinned to the truck panel on either side of her. She wasn’t going anywhere.
“Well, I haven’t,” Jon returned fiercely. He lowered his head so that they were face-to-face, so close that Patti could feel his warm breath on her skin when he talked. “Since you don’t have anything to say to me, I’ll talk and you’ll listen. That woman you met was my sister,” he blurted, laying it all out there for her.
Patti’s heart skidded to a halt as she tried to rework the wiring in her brain to accept his admission. His sister? How could that…Wait, was that why she felt like she had seen her before? But she knew they had never met. She racked her brain as Jon continued.
“There’s no other woman for me, Patricia,” Jon said, tucking her hair behind her ear. The gesture was so tender that Patti had to fight not to lean into his touch. “You’re the only woman I want, the only woman I’ll ever want. You’re my heart, Patricia. You’ve healed it and you alone have the power to destroy it.”
Patti looked up at him with accusation in her eyes. “You turned your back on me.”
Jon’s face twisted and he shifted to cup her face in both of his large hands. “Baby, believe me when I tell you, I had no idea when I walked away how much you meant to me. I have never been so torn apart by anything or anyone before you. I’m only sorry that it took losing you to realize that.”
Without thinking, Patti’s hands found Jon’s shirt. She gripped the soft cotton in her fists, focusing on the heavy rise and fall of his chest as she tried to sort out her thoughts. That past week had armed her with so much, from her talk with her mother to the heart-to-heart with her father, she felt like she finally had the courage to face her demons head-on.
Her father wasn’t perfect. Neither was Jon. She already knew that she loved Jon more than she had ever loved another man. It wasn’t difficult to see that if she let him walk out of her life now, she would be losing a chance at something great.
Plus, Jon was the father of her unborn child. There was no way she could let him go without first giving their relationship a fighting chance. She owed it to herself to try.
“I’m scared, Jon,” she admitted, pulling him closer. Her eyes shined as she looked up at him. “But I love you so much. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Oh, baby, never,” Jon said, his voice catching as he dipped his head and captured her mouth. “You’ve got me. You’ve got me,” he repeated.
Patti clung to him, pouring all of her love into her kiss. Jon didn’t kiss her softly or gently, but devoured her mouth in a kiss so passionate and hungry that Patti’s entire body trembled. When he pulled away, they were both breathing heavily and Jon had to keep one arm around Patti’s waist to hold her up.
“I love you,” Jon said, stroking her cheek.
“Ditto,” Patti said, smiling at him. Jon released a long, heavy breath that told Patti that he was building up to something. “What’s wrong,” she asked worriedly.
The corner of Jon’s mouth tipped up. “I was just bracing myself.”
“For what?”
“For meeting your dad.”
Patti’s eyes welled. Taking his hand in hers, she stepped away from the truck. “Come on.” She led him across the manicured lawn. When they stopped in front of her father’s grave, she gave Jon’s hand a squeeze. It was crazy, but standing there made her feel like she was a teenager again. Nerves made her voice small as she said, “Daddy, I’d like you to meet Jonathon Bradshaw.” Her gaze lifted as she fell into Jon’s warm blue eyes that shone with adoration and reflected back what she felt in her heart a hundred fold. It gave her the courage she needed as she held his eyes and told her father, “The father of my baby.”
26
Being held in Patti’s arms felt like coming home. Jon traced his finger around her dusky areola, watching as each pass caused the nipple to pucker until it became a hardened point.
“That feels good,” Patti said on a shiver.
“So does what you’re doing.” Closing his eyes, Jon enjoyed the feeling of her fingers combing through his hair as well as the heat of her body pressed up against his. He was lying on her, his arm draped over the thinnest part of her waist, his cheek pressed against her breast. It was perfection personified.
After a proper introduction to her father, Patricia followed Jon back to his condo and he’d promptly kicked Casey out for the day. It embarrassed her to have thought ill of his sister, but he and Casey both assured her that it wasn’t anything to worry about, and Casey was just thrilled that they had worked things out. Giving them her blessing and asking that they keep the action in the bedroom and not on the couch, she was out the door so fast she put The Flash to shame.
Jon didn’t waste another minute talking. As soon as the door was closed, he whisked Patricia into his room and tore their clothes off, and then he spent the rest of the afternoon worshiping every inch of her body.
Now, as they basked in the afterglow, he couldn’t imagine a more perfect reunion. Everything felt complete now that he had her back in his life and in his bed where she belonged. Now that he had her, he knew he was never going to let her go. “You’re stuck with me now, you know,” he informed her, skimming his fingers lightly down her side.
A breathy laugh left her as she squirmed. “I was afraid of that.”
She laughed outright when Jon gave her hip a playful pinch. “I’ll never let you out of my sight. I’m going to be your shadow.”
“Mm, sounds creeptastic,” she teased. “And what about work? You have to leave sometime.”
Shaking his head, Jon craned his neck back and wrapped his mouth around her nipple. Giving it a firm suck, he released it with a pop. “I’ll work from home. Teleconference. Maybe I’ll hire a stand-in. We’ll never have to leave the house again.”
“Oh really?” Patricia chuckled. “What about food? How will we eat?”
“We’ll order in.”
“What about our friends? Our family? They’re going to worry when we suddenly disappear off the face of the earth.”
“They can come here and visit us. We’ll open the door just long enough to let them slip inside, entertain them for an hour, and then send them packing.” Jon leaned up and nipped her bottom lip. “It’s the only time we’ll ever have to get dressed.”
“It sounds like you’ve got everything all figured out.” Grasping the back of his head, Patricia drew him in for one of her sweet kisses.
When Jon came up for air, he stared into Patricia’s heavenly blue eyes and felt utter contentment wash over him. He smoothed her golden hair away from her face, enjoying the way it spread across his pillow and fanned out around her slender shoulders. My God, he thought in wonderment as he dipped his head to kiss the hollow of her throat, he was in love with a goddess. “I got your gift,” he blurted out, continuing to kiss a path down her chest. He lavished attention on each breast, licking her nipples until they beaded against his tongue, then moving further south.
He was so in tune with her body, he felt the instant Patricia’s muscles tensed beneath him. “And?” she asked hesitantly.
Jon smiled into the valley between her breasts. “And I can’t think of a more perfect gift.”
“I know we didn’t get a chance to talk about it, but are you sure? You’re not upset?”
“It’s not something I expected,” he admitted. “I kind of always pictured my life moving in a series of events, but no, I’m not upset.” He reached her flat stomach and pressed a kiss to the soft skin just below her belly button. When he lifted his gaze, they were shining with his happiness. “I love him already.”
Reaching for him, Patricia ran her fingers through the hair at his temple. “Him? I hate to break it to you, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a girl.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I have a sixth sense about these things.”
Jon’s eyes flashed and a grin spread across his face. “I think you just pulled that out of your ass.”
Patricia burst out laughing, making her breasts jiggle deliciously. As Jon crawled up her body and nestled himself between her legs, he took in her toothy smile and felt his stomach flip. “A daddy’s girl,” he mused, nuzzling his nose against hers. “I think I can live with that.”
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