Maya Banks - Sweet Persuasion

“You don’t understand,” Serena said as she raised her head again.

Faith leaned forward on her chair and took Serena’s hand in hers. “Then make us understand, Serena. Because you’re obviously miserable. You’ve been avoiding us. You’re not eating. You’re not sleeping. And Julie’s right. You look like hell warmed over. It has to stop.”

“How do you stop loving someone?” Serena asked. “I don’t even know if it’s him I love or if I’m in love with the fantasy he gave me. Do you see my problem now? And how am I supposed to believe he loves me when I never gave him the real me, the real Serena? He loves a fantasy. He loves the ideal I sold him.”

Faith expelled a long breath. Even Julie had nothing to say for once. Finally Faith scooted in closer to Serena and looked her hard in the eye.

“Are you sure you didn’t give him the real Serena?” Faith asked gently. “Is the thought of what he wants so abhorrent to you?”

“It was a game,” Serena said. “A role I played, a role he played.”

Faith held up her hand. “Whatever you may think about your actions, let me assure you that Damon never played a role. What you saw, what you got, was Damon. He doesn’t play games. Yes, he entered into the agreement but it was because you wanted what he could give you. He didn’t have to act, Serena. That’s the real Damon.”

“Look, I appreciate what you guys are trying to do. Believe me. But I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to rehash it because that’s all I’ve done for the past week. I just want to forget.”

Even as she said it, a cold chill snaked through her veins, and she clutched the jacket tighter around her. Maybe she was coming down with a bug. God knew she hadn’t been taking care of herself worth a damn.

Damon would have taken care of you. He would have never let you get so run-down.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. It wasn’t Damon’s responsibility to take care of her. It was hers.

“Can you forget?” Faith asked. “Really? Or are you instead going to screw up the best thing that’s ever happened to you because you’re afraid?”

Serena gave her friend a startled look. “Afraid?”

“Yeah, afraid. Afraid that if you put your faith, your well-being, your entire self in Damon’s hands, that he’ll let you down, that he’ll screw up.”

“Serena, if that’s the case, then you’ll never have a relationship with a man,” Julie said with a sigh. “Believe me, I know. I’m not sure that fear ever goes away. We’re women. We’re conditioned to fear betrayal, I think. Or at least it feels that way.”

“It’s not that,” Serena said quietly. “Damon wouldn’t hurt me. I know that. I’m afraid I can’t be what he needs. I’m afraid I’ll hurt him.”

Faith sighed. “Shouldn’t you let Damon decide whether or not he wants to take the risk?”

Serena had no answer for that. The question discomfited her because it was too close to the truth. She’d taken the decision out of Damon’s hands entirely.

She buried her face in her hands. She was so damn tired. She wanted to sleep for a year.

Faith squeezed her leg and got up from her chair. Serena glanced up to see her check her watch and exchange glances with Julie.

“We’ve got to run to the store to stock up on supplies,” Julie said. “Why don’t you stay here and hang out in the sun. We won’t be gone too long.”

Serena nodded. “Thanks, guys. Really.”

Faith leaned down to hug her. “We just want you to get better.”

“If you had a rewind button, that would be cool,” Serena said with a crooked grin.

Faith looked at her with serious eyes. “Would you really go back and erase what you had with Damon if you could?”

Serena stared out over the water, watching as the waves rolled into shore and then retreated. “No,” she said honestly. “I wouldn’t trade that week for the world.”

Damon pulled up to his beach house and cut the engine. As he got out, he saw Julie and Faith coming down the steps of the house. They looked grim and worried.

Faith came to him immediately and gave him a hug. “She’s not doing well, Damon. She needs you.”

Did she? He sure as hell needed her. He wanted her. But he had no idea what Serena wanted.

“Where is she?” he asked quietly.

“We left her on the deck,” Julie said tersely. “She’s a mess. She’s talking about selling her business. It’s like she’s given up.”

Damon closed his eyes. Had he done this to her? Made her so desperately unhappy?

“Go to her,” Faith said softly. “Convince her, Damon. She’s so afraid.”

He almost laughed. Afraid didn’t even come close to describing his feelings. He was absolutely terrified. Terrified that he’d fail, and that he’d leave without her.

“We’re gonna go,” Julie said. “Call us if you need us, okay?”

“Thank you,” he said to them both. “You’re good friends to Serena. She’s lucky to have you. If I have my way, she’ll be leaving with me.”

He watched as they got into Faith’s car and drove away, and then he turned back to stare at the beach house. Faith had told him on the phone that Serena was exhausted, hadn’t eaten and looked like hell. He wanted to walk in, turn her over his knee and spank her ass for not taking better care of herself, but that wasn’t going to win him any points in his pursuit.

Instead he was stuck walking on tiptoe until he could find a way to persuade Serena that she belonged to him and they belonged together.

He squinted against the sun and mounted the steps. He let himself in the front door and headed for the back deck. When he got to the glass doors, though, he didn’t see her in the lounger.

He opened the doors and stepped out, scanning the beach. His pulse leaped when he saw her, standing in the distance, her back to him as she stared out over the water.

He crossed the deck and made his way down the wooden walkway over the dune and then stepped onto the beach. As he neared her, he slowed his pace.

There was a fragility to her stance. Her arms were hugged tight around her body, and she was huddled in a jacket as though the wind blowing chilled her to the bone. Her hair whipped like streaks of midnight, and then she turned, ever so slightly, and he caught a hint of her profile, the softness of her face and the sad set of her lips.

Faith was right. She looked tired. She looked worn out, but she was still beautiful.

Serena mine.

He didn’t know whether he should stay where he was or go to her or wait for her to turn and see him standing there. The waiting was agony as he readied himself to fight a battle he wasn’t prepared to lose.

And then she turned, and those beautiful, expressive eyes widened in shock.

Serena stared in bewilderment at Damon, who stood just a few feet away. He was dressed for a day in the sun. Khaki shorts, polo shirt and brown sandals. Sunglasses were shoved to the top of his head, messing his hair slightly. He was heart-stoppingly gorgeous, and he stood there watching her, his liquid brown eyes bright with concern. But he was here.

Joy, pure and unfettered, flooded her body until she feared she’d fall to her knees. She swayed and threw her hand out only to catch air as she tried to steady herself.

He stepped forward to catch her, but she righted herself and blinked away the shock of seeing him so close after so many days.

“What are you doing here?” she asked faintly.

“I came for you.”

A shiver worked over her body.

He frowned, concern brightening in his eyes. “Are you cold?”

“I’ve been cold since the day I left your house,” she whispered. She wanted to cry. But more than that, she wanted to be warm again.

He held out his arms, and she walked into them, unable to deny the comfort of his embrace. He tucked her head under his chin, and she laid her cheek against his chest. She closed her eyes as his warmth bled into her.

Slowly the ice began to melt. A low throb began, and sweet relief whispered delicately through her veins.

He lowered them both onto the sand, arranging his body around her as he positioned her between his legs. He kept firm hold of her, absorbing the trembles of her body as the cold gradually eased, and she could feel the sun once again.

“What happened, Serena mine?” he asked against her hair. “Why did you leave?”

She buried her face in his neck and tried to keep the tears at bay. “She died, Damon,” she said hoarsely. “Michelle, the girl I told you about. She died during the cruise I arranged for her.”

Damon stroked her hair, offering her comfort with his touch. He was calm and methodical, no urgency to his actions. No question. Just acceptance. Did he have acceptance enough for both of them?

“I’m sorry,” he said huskily. “I’m so sorry, Serena. Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you let me help you? Why leave?”

For a long moment she lay there, unable to form a response around the knot in her throat. She knew her thoughts weren’t logical. Maybe she’d always known she was chasing a fantasy.

Damon waited. He sat there quietly, just holding her as she collected her courage.

“I thought that if I could give her her dream, it would be enough to save her. That if I could make magic for her, I could save her.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Damon said, his voice cracking as emotion throbbed in his throat.

“When she died, I realized that nothing I’d done made a difference. None of it. She got a few minutes to be a princess, and her parents have a lifetime to live without their daughter.

“My clients still have to go back to their normal lives. They enjoy a brief respite and nothing more. I realize now how cruel it is. To give someone a taste of paradise only to yank it away? I can’t think of anything worse.

“I never knew, would have never known if I hadn’t tried to fulfill my own fantasy. It was then that I realized that there are worse things than never living your dream or never indulging in a fantasy. It’s far worse to get a taste and know that it isn’t real, will never be real, and then go back to your regular life knowing what it’s like to have perfection and that you’ll never have it again.

“Some things . . . some things are better left in the realm of fantasy,” she said faintly.

“I think I understand what you’re saying,” he said.

She pulled slightly away so she could look into his eyes. “Do you? Then you know why I can’t . . . why we can’t . . .”

He shook his head. “I said I understood what you were saying, not that I agreed.”

He lifted a hand to her face and trailed his fingers over her temple and to her cheekbone. They shook as he moved them to her lips.

“I have a lot I want to say to you, and I want you to listen to every word.”

She nodded slowly.

“Good. Now, I understand that you’re afraid. I understand that the volatility of our attraction, of our relationship, frightened you. It scared the shit out of me as well.”

Her eyes widened.

“Don’t look so surprised, Serena mine. You knocked me for a friggin’ loop.”

He leaned in and brushed a light kiss across her lips before withdrawing again. “Somewhere along the way, you decided that the Serena who gave me the gift of herself couldn’t possibly be real. That not only was she not real, but she could never be what I wanted and needed. And so, you decided that in order to do what was best for me, you were going to leave me. Never mind the fact that you never once consulted me in the matter. Pretty messed up, wouldn’t you say?”

“It’s not that simple,” she argued, remembering that she’d said the exact same thing to Julie and Faith not long ago. She glanced away, no longer able to meet the burning intensity of his eyes.

“Serena, look at me,” he said gently.

He didn’t prod her, didn’t tug at her chin as he had so many times before. But she turned back anyway, unable to resist his softly spoken request.

“It’s as simple or as complicated as we make it. Me? I’m a simple kind of guy. I love you, and I hope to hell you love me or that maybe you can love me, given a little time and persuasion on my part.

“You, on the other hand, are as complicated as they come. You twist yourself in knots until you don’t know which end is up. You try to convince yourself that you can’t be what I want or need, but you’ve never asked me what I want. Or what I need. Because if you had? I would have said only one thing. You.”

She opened her mouth, but nothing would come out. He wiped his thumb over her lip as if removing the obstruction.