Maya Banks - Sweet Seduction

"That he'll leave you?" Serena asked gently.

Julie wavered for a moment, her breath coming out all shaky like she was a hair from crying. She hated that. Hated coming off like a weak-kneed, emotional twit.

"I'm afraid ... I'm afraid he'll wake up one morning and the very things that first attracted him to me will be the very things that turn him away."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I'm a bitch, Serena."

"No, you're not!"

"I am. I'm blunt, forceful, headstrong and confident. People often say they admire me, or they appreciate people who say it straight, who keep it real. And for a while they do, until all the new and shiny wears off and suddenly they don't like me so much anymore. I become caustic and abrasive. The things they liked about me now turn them away. And men? They're the worst. A strong, confident woman is sexy to them, but then they become intimidated by me and they think I'm wearing the pants in the relationship."

"There is nothing wrong with you," Serena said fiercely. "Other than the fact that you've dated morons. The right man will love you, warts and all. He'll love your independence.

Contrary to popular belief, men really do love women who can think for themselves. They love women who can be an equal in the relationship."

"Very well said, Serena mine," Damon murmured.

Both women looked up to see Damon standing across the living room, his eyes glowing with pride.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," he said in Julie's direction. "But not sorry I overheard." He walked closer and sat down in the armchair next to the couch. "Serena is right, Julie. A woman who needs protecting, the helpless female persona, can be ... enticing. But beyond that first brush, that first shine of the relationship, it dulls really fast. A needy woman may appeal to the male ego, but a strong, independent woman is a treasure for the long haul."

Julie cocked her head. "But you . . ." She cleared her throat uncomfortably.

"You can say what you like in front of me," he said gently.

"You like submissive women." She cast an apologetic look at Serena because she didn't want her friend to think she thought she was wimpy. "How can you say those things about a strong, independent woman when you crave submission?"

Damon's eyes twinkled. "Serena is a strong, very independent woman in her own right. She chooses to submit to me. I have no desire for a doormat. For as long as Serena is mine, I will always take care of her. However, I need to know she can take care of herself."

Julie's eyes watered. "Do you know why I decided not to go back to The House?"

Both Serena and Damon gave her puzzled looks.

"I saw you that night." Again she looked at Serena in apology. "You and Damon in the common room."

Serena's mouth formed an O.

Damon's expression was no less perplexed. "I'm sorry if you were offended, Julie."

"No," she said huskily. "I won't lie. When I first saw what you were doing, I wanted to run over and kick your ass and then put my arms around Serena."

"You're a very loyal friend," Damon said with a smile.

"You changed something in me that night. I decided I wanted a man who looked at me the way you looked at Serena."

"Ah, Julie," Serena murmured as she stroked a hand through Julie's hair.

"Nathan looked at me like that," she choked out. "He said he loved me."

"And you don't believe him?" Damon asked.

"I do," she whispered. "That's what scares me so much. If I thought he didn't really love me I could laugh it off and know that his infatuation would wear off and it wouldn't bother me because I'd know from the beginning that it wasn't real. But I can't stand the thought of him growing to hate me."

A chill overtook her, and she shook uncontrollably. She rubbed her hands up her arms in an attempt to infuse some warmth. She hated the cold that had settled into her bones ever since she'd run from the apartment.

"Julie, I'm going to be honest,'' Damon said. "I understood Serena's concerns about our relationship. Because she shared them with me."

Julie flushed and closed her eyes. In other words, Serena wasn't the stone-cold coward Julie was.

"I understood them, but I was frustrated all the same, you see, because all I wanted was a chance."

Silence fell as his meaning settled over her.

"All you can do is give him a chance. Just like I asked Serena to give me. If he loves you, if you love him, you owe it to both of you to give him—and yourself—a chance. What do you have to lose?"

"Everything," she whispered.

"But think of what you could gain," Serena said gently. "Think about it, Julie. You were ready to kick my ass. Remember? You kidnapped me and ratted me out to Damon. Don't make me tell you what a dumbass you're being now."

Julie laughed even as a tear trickled down her cheek. "I love you, you know."

"Yeah, I know. I seem to have that irresistible quality that no one can resist."

"Conceited bitch," Julie said without heat.

Damon chuckled. "I'm going to leave you ladies now. I just wanted to make sure you were all right. If you need—"

The front door crashed open causing Julie to jump. They all looked up to see Nathan barrel around the corner, a murderous gleam in his eye.

Sam appeared from nowhere, stepping between Nathan and the other occupants of the room. To Julie's astonishment, Nathan curled his hands around the big man's shirt, snarled and shoved him out of the way. Sam appeared equally astonished and gaped as Nathan passed him on his way to Julie.

Ignoring both Serena and Damon, he bent over, trapping Julie by placing his hands on either side of her hips on the couch.

"I've tried doing this your way," he growled. "I've tried being patient, understanding, gentle even. I didn't want to come across as some knuckles-dragging-the-ground Neanderthal because I was afraid you'd run hard in the other direction. Ha! Well, I'm done with that. This time we're doing it my way."

She squeaked in utter shock when he simply hauled her up and tossed her over his shoulder.

"Damon, Serena," he said in a calmer voice. "I appreciate you being here for Julie when she needed you, but from now on, if I can help it, I'll be one she runs to and not from when she does her little panic act. Now if you'll excuse us, she and I have a hell of a lot to discuss, and I'd rather not do it in front of an audience."

"You be careful with her," Serena said fiercely as she rose from the couch.

Julie was getting a kink in her neck from peering around Nathan's back, and why the hell wasn't she putting up a fight? She was honest to God too stunned to do more than just lie there like a complacent twit.

"I'm going to do what I should have done a hell of a long time ago," Nathan said evenly. "And that's show Julie that she damn well belongs with me, and that all these silly games are over."

Julie sat in stunned silence as Nathan drove his truck through the gates of Damon's home.

"How did you get here?" she squeaked out.

"Well, you damn sure didn't make it easy," he grated out.

She sighed and huddled on her seat.

"Damn it, Julie, don't you look like that. I could cheerfully strangle your ass right now, but you can give up that kicked puppy look."

"I'm sorry, Nathan," she said quietly.

Nathan sighed then reached over and took her hand. "What I want is for you to sit quiet and let me get over the urge to strangle you. We're going to go back to your place where we're going to have a sane, reasonable discussion about the direction of our relationship. And make no mistake, Julie. We are having a relationship."

"Damon says I should give you a chance."

"No, you should give us a chance. And you damn sure shouldn't need someone else to tell you that."

She acknowledged the truth of his words but fell silent for the remainder of the drive. She had to gear up to say just the right thing or face losing the one thing she most wanted.

Several long minutes later, Nathan pulled back into her apartment complex and they both got out and walked to her door. His anger seemed to have faded, and in its place a wary unease shadowed his face.

They walked into the living room, and Julie stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say next. Nathan saved her from making the decision by pulling her over to the couch. He sat down and then tugged her down so that she straddled his lap, facing him.

His hands rested on her hips, possessively. He eyed her intently, letting her know with no words that this time she wasn't escaping.

The chase was over. For her. For him. They'd danced around each other for far too long. Done some silly stuff, made goofy decisions. And she'd tried to sabotage anything good between them before it ever got started because she didn't want it to hurt so damn bad when he left.

She framed his face in her hands. Her fingers trembled against his cheeks, and try as she might, she couldn't prevent the shaking from invading the rest of her body.

"I love you," she choked out.

'Thank God," he murmured, closing his eyes.

He nuzzled into one of her hands, kissing the palm.

"I thought I was going to have to handcuff you to that damn bed until you admitted you felt something for me beyond simple lust."

She nodded, the knot in her throat too large to say anything more.

"Why did you run, honey?" he asked softly. "What scared you so bad?"

"I don't want you to leave me."

A tear slipped down her cheek, and he raised his hand to gently wipe it away with his thumb.

"Why the hell would you think a harebrained thing like that? I've got to catch you before I can even think about leaving you. And honey, leaving you is the furthest thing from my mind. I know we can't predict the future, bur right now? You're mine. All of it. I don't have a future without you. You're going to be in if it kills me, and I'm beginning to think it just might!"

"I'm an artist at self-sabotage," she croaked out. "My relationships . . . well, let's just say I don't have the best track record with relationships. At first, it wasn't my fault. I mean, I went into them hoping for the best. The first couple of guys were drawn to my personality. They liked that I was brassy and outgoing and that I was uninhibited in bed. Soon, though, I grated on their nerves and they moved on, deciding that I wasn't what they wanted after all. I intimidated them."

Nathan scowled but let her continue.

"Then there was the guy who thought I could stand to lose a few pounds. Okay, a lot of pounds."

"What the hell? I'll kick his fucking ass. You don't need to lose a damn thing. My God, woman, you're perfect."

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. He ran his hands over her ass, up to her waist and then back down again as if he couldn't get enough of touching her.

"I'm ashamed to say that I took it to heart. I lost thirty pounds but quickly figured out it wasn't me. I didn't like myself and I wasn't happy. Then I got angry because I allowed the moron to dictate my life. In essence, to control my self-esteem. So I gained the weight back, bought a flashy convertible, started wearing sexy clothes again and said fuck you to any guy who didn't like it."

" 'Atta girl," he said approvingly.

"After that I was wary, I guess. I tended to come on too strong just to let the guy know what he was getting up front, and if he was still interested, I kept the relationships short and sweet. I figured if I was the one doing the ending, it wouldn't hurt so much. I'd never know if they lost interest or not because I was calling the shots."

His eyes softened, and he traced the line of her cheekbone with his finger.

"And then you walked into my salon." She sighed and shifted on his lap. "You walked in with Faith, and I don't know. It felt like a ton of bricks was dropped on me."

"Tell me about it," Nathan said. "You rocked my world, woman."

She smiled. "I wanted you, did everything I could think of to get your attention, and you were so oblivious."

He grimaced. "I was anything but. I just had no idea how to act around you. Every time I got close, my tongue knotted up and I felt like some horny teenager again."

"I was so furious with you," she continued. "I finally decided to hell with you. I'd make you notice me come hell or high water, and then I'd turn you loose. I set up my threesome fantasy with Damon, and, well, you know the rest."