As if answering the question, someone tapped on her window.
Great. Just what she needed. Interference.
She lowered the window a few inches, but didn’t bother looking at the person. “What?” she asked sharply.
“You okay?”
It was a man’s voice. He sounded concerned, which was just great for him, but wouldn’t do her any good. She needed the chance to go back in time and fix all the problems in her life, which wasn’t going to happen.
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
She turned to look at the guy. He was old, like grandpa age, but kind-looking, which made her want to tell him everything. Except the shock of her story might give him a heart attack and she didn’t need one more thing to feel guilty about.
“Go away,” she told him.
“That’s not very polite.”
And there came the guilt. She rubbed her eyes. “I didn’t mean it that way. Look, thanks for asking, but you don’t want to get involved.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you’re not really interested in my life. No one is-not even me.”
“Sounds like the first line of a country song.”
Of all the insensitive things to say, she thought, willing to burn off the little gas she had left by driving away. Then part of her realized he was right and she started to laugh, only to have the tears take over again.
“Okay, that’s not good,” the guy said and opened her car door. “Come on, young lady, let’s get you inside. You hungry? The food’s not fancy, but I cook a mean burger.”
Before she knew what had happened, she’d been led into a dark bar. The man flipped on lights, then pointed to the bar. “Have a seat.”
She settled on a stool. He passed her several paper napkins and a glass of water.
“Start at the beginning,” he said. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything.”
“Is that true?”
He was nice, she told herself. She should be nice back. But what she said was, “I’m pregnant. My sister thinks I slept with her husband, but I didn’t, only she won’t believe me. My boyfriend is the father of my baby and he doesn’t believe it’s his. He said he didn’t c-care if it was his.” The tears started again.
She blew her nose. “I had a big fight with my sister and with Matt and I left Seattle. I don’t have any money or anywhere to go and I don’t have a job or a place to stay. Is that enough for you?”
“It’s a start,” the old man said. “So get a job.”
She glared at him. “Doing what? Do I look skilled to you?”
“You must be able to do something. Everyone can do something.”
She could bake, Jesse thought grimly. She made perfect cakes and cookies that were so good, people cried when they ate them. But the recipes all belonged to the bakery and using them herself seemed wrong. Not to mention the last time she’d tried, Nicole had thrown her in jail.
“Nothing,” she said at last. “I can’t do anything.”
“How old are you?”
She glared at him. “Excuse me?” Was he coming on to her? That was disgusting. Beyond disgusting. “I’m outta here.”
He held up both hands. “Don’t get all high and mighty with me, young lady. I wasn’t asking for any reason you’re thinking. You’re young enough to be my granddaughter. Besides, I like my women with a little age on ’em. They have more to talk about and don’t take crap. I like women who don’t take crap.”
He pointed at the sign on the wall. “Bill’s Bar.”
“This is my place. If you’re old enough, I can offer you a job. Something temporary until you get your feet under you.”
“I’m twenty-two,” Jesse said, not convinced he meant what he said. “I have ID.”
“I believe you.”
No one believed her. No one had for a long time. “Why would you do this? Why would you offer a total stranger who’s a complete mess a job?”
“Trying to talk me out of it?”
“No. I’m just curious.”
“One of my girls quit on me last night. I haven’t gotten around to running an ad. You’ll save me the time and trouble, not to mention the money.”
“But you don’t know anything about me.”
“It’s serving drinks. It’s not that hard. Besides, you’re pretty enough that the customers won’t care if you screw up.”
She didn’t feel pretty. “You know I’m pregnant, right?”
“You mentioned that. Don’t worry. No one smokes in the bar.”
She wasn’t worried about that, although she should be. She meant that she wouldn’t be appealing once she started showing. But she didn’t say that. A job would give her time to think.
“I’ll take the job,” she said. “By the way, I’m Jesse.”
“Good to meet you, Jesse. I’m Bill.”
She smiled. “I got that from the sign. The alliteration is nice.”
“Just lucky. You need a place to stay?”
She nodded cautiously.
“You can rent a room over at Addie’s place. It’s like an old-fashioned boardinghouse. Nothing fancy, but the rent is cheap and she provides two meals a day.”
“Are you for real?” Jesse asked. “Is this a joke?” How could this man just show up and offer her everything she needed?
Bill stared at her for a long time. “Somebody hurt you bad, little girl, and I’m sorry for that. This isn’t a joke. I’m being neighborly. That’s what people do. Help each other out.”
“Not in my world.”
Bill nodded slowly. “A few years back, I got in some trouble. Someone helped me then. Now I’m helping you.”
Was it really that simple? “My luck’s not that good,” she told him.
“Maybe your luck has changed.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“YOU’RE ACTING WEIRD,” Nicole told Raoul as she stood in the middle of the family room.
He didn’t look up from the textbook on his lap. “How?”
“I don’t know. You keep looking at the clock.”
As if to prove her point, Raoul glanced at the clock above the fireplace, then shrugged. “I want to know what time it is.”
“Every fifteen seconds?”
He looked at her. “It’s not that often.”
“Close.” She knew something was going on, but couldn’t figure out what. “I’m going to start dinner,” she said.
“I’m not hungry.”
She put her hands on her hips. “If you’re breathing, you’re hungry. What’s going on? You might as well tell me now. I’ll find out eventually.”
His attempt to look innocent failed. “Nothing.” He looked at the clock again, then jumped up. “I’m going to study at Marcus’s house. His parents are home. The number’s on the counter in the kitchen.”
“What about dinner?”
“I’ll eat there.” He bolted past her, heading for the kitchen. “I’ll be late,” he yelled over his shoulder.
And then he was gone.
“Talk about weird,” Nicole muttered, wondering what he was really doing. She doubted it was anything bad, but still. Had she been this strange when she’d been his age?
Someone rang the front bell before she could decide. She crossed the great room and pulled the door open, only to find Hawk standing on her porch.
Instantly her insides sighed in appreciation. Despite their last meeting, which had ended badly, he still looked good. Better than good. He looked deliciously tempting.
“You’re home,” he said, not sounding surprised.
Suddenly Raoul’s odd behavior made sense. “You set me up.”
“In a good way,” Hawk told her as he entered the house. He held up two big bags that smelled amazing. “Chinese food. You haven’t had dinner. We’ll eat, we’ll talk, we’ll be friends again.”
“Is that what we are?” she asked.
“Sure.” He set down the bags and cupped her face. “Hey. I’m sorry.”
Despite her dancing hormones, she wasn’t going to be won over by male beauty and an egg roll.
“For?” she asked.
“Maybe overreacting.”
“Maybe? You plan to decide soon?”
“I overreacted. You were trying to help. I didn’t see it that way.” He kissed her with just enough pressure to make her lean toward him. “Did I say I was sorry?”
“Yes.”
“Did you accept my apology?”
“I am now, because I’m sorry, too. I can be pushy.”
“But cute. So we’re good?”
She smiled. “Yes.”
They went into the kitchen. While he put boxes of Chinese onto the table, she collected plates, flatware and napkins. He opened the bottle of wine she handed him, then they sat down to eat.
“Your point about Brittany is a good one,” he said, which she hadn’t expected. “Maybe I did make the past sound better than it was. Serena and I didn’t set out to do that on purpose, we just didn’t want Brittany to feel she wasn’t special or that she’d gotten in the way.”
Nicole was impressed he was willing to discuss this and see her side. “Maybe there’s some middle ground. A casual story about how it wasn’t all easy and wonderful. Unless it was.”
He shook his head. “We were too young. We got lucky. I had a lot of offers from universities to play football. I’d already picked Oklahoma before we found out Serena was pregnant. Not only did they have a great coach, but the alumni support was extraordinary.”
“Free everything?” she asked, knowing life was different for football gods in a football town.
“Just about. The rules weren’t as strict then. We weren’t handed money, but we had a lot of perks. There was always someone available to babysit when we needed it, so Serena got to come to all my games. Even the away ones. Different families took us on vacation with them. We had access to great doctors and someone was always dropping by with groceries or cooked food.”
“Sounds nice.”
“The guys were great, but it was the wives who kept us going. They were real nice to Serena. But it was still hard. We were away from home. Her parents never forgave or understood what we were doing. They turned their backs on their only daughter. She was sad about that until the day she died.”
Nicole thought about Jesse. Would her sister say she had turned her back on her? Nicole wasn’t sure. She also didn’t know how she would describe the situation herself.
“The worst part for her was the loneliness,” he continued. “The worst part for me was being so damn scared all the time.”
“Scared of what?”
“Getting hurt, mostly. We were on a free ride because I could catch a football better than anyone and then run like the wind. But if I got busted up, it all ended. And then what? I don’t think I took a deep breath and relaxed until the day the check for my NFL signing bonus cleared the bank.”
In some ways she thought of Hawk as larger than life, but in truth, he was just like everyone else.
“You made it through,” she said.
“We did, but I’ll admit there were times when Serena and I were fighting that I wished she’d never gotten pregnant. That’s what I don’t want Brittany to know. About the bad times.” He sipped his wine. “But I do see your point about making it all sound easy.”
“I’m glad.” She leaned toward him. “I wasn’t trying to butt in.”
“I know.”
“I think you’re a great dad.”
“Thanks.” He reached across the table and took her hand. “I’m sorry about what I said about Jesse. That was out of line.”
She smiled. “That’s okay.”
“I guess Brittany is a sensitive topic.”
“She’s your daughter. You feel a real sense of responsibility toward her. Believe me, I understand that. I grew up the queen of responsibility.”
His hand was warm on her forearm. He rubbed her skin.
“Your parents put too much on you. I see that with my guys. If a kid can get a job done, he gets a bigger job. Parents don’t realize that it can go too far.”
She appreciated the understanding. “Sometimes I didn’t mind, but sometimes I hated it. In high school there were so many things I wanted to do but I couldn’t, because I had to get up early to help in the bakery. Mornings are busy. So I couldn’t stay out late. I wanted to go out for theater, but I had to be home after school to look after Jesse.”
She stabbed her chow me in with her fork. “It was awful when my mom left. I missed her so much and I was angry with her, because I knew she wanted to be with my sister more than she wanted to be with us. She wanted to be traveling all around the world and meeting famous people. I think if she hadn’t had Jesse, she would have been gone from the beginning.”
Nicole glanced at Hawk. “The bakery belonged to my father’s family, not hers. I don’t think she ever liked the day-to-day responsibility of the place. It was a constant drain of time and energy and it was never going to make her rich. But Claire had potential.”
She pressed her lips together. “I’m making her sound awful. I don’t mean to.”
“You’re not. You’re telling me what happened. How you were just a kid and you got stuck with too much.”
His words were gentle, as was his tone. She found herself wanting to crawl into his arms so he could hold her and make her feel safe.
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