Susan Mallery - Sweet Spot

She walked into the kitchen and found him pouring fresh coffee. They looked at each other. She was hoping for some hint of reconciliation or compromise in his gaze, but it was like staring at a stranger.

“I have to get to school,” he said. “You’ll let me know if you hear anything?”

She nodded.

“I’ll do the same.” He took another drink of coffee, then he left.

Nicole sank onto one of the kitchen chairs and wondered how everything had gotten so messed up. Then she reached for the phone and dialed a familiar number.

“What are you doing after you drop off Amy at school?” she asked her sister.

“Coming to see you,” Claire said.

“Good answer.”

FORTY MINUTES LATER Claire was stretched out on the sectional, her feet propped up as she rested her hand on her growing belly.

“I don’t get it,” Claire said, then sipped her herbal tea. “Why is Hawk mad at you?”

“Because I’m an easy target. Because he can’t seem to blame himself or Brittany or circumstances. Because he can’t see reality.” Nicole leaned back in the club chair and sighed. “Can I pick ’em or what?”

“It’s not that bad.”

“His daughter is pregnant and not speaking to him. The boy who got her pregnant is living with me. Hawk thinks I knew about them running away and didn’t tell him and he pointed out I let Jesse go without a fight. Why wouldn’t I do the same with them?”

“Because it’s not the same,” Claire said. “Are you sure you like this guy? He sounds like a real jerk.”

“He’s not. He’s a worried father.”

“You’re making excuses for him. That can only mean one thing.”

“I know.”

“You like him.”

Nicole looked at her sister. “I’m in love with him.”

Claire grinned. “If I could jump up easily, I would. Really? That’s so great.”

“No, it’s not. It’s a mess and makes the disaster that was my marriage to Drew look positively successful by comparison.”

“I don’t believe that.”

Nicole didn’t snap at her sister, even though that was her first instinct. For one thing, Claire genuinely loved her and there weren’t enough people with that attribute hanging around her world. For another, Claire led with her heart. She believed the best of people, no matter what. She’d been surprisingly sheltered in her life. Nicole was the cynic in the family.

“Whatever happens with Brittany, Hawk’s going to blame me,” Nicole said. “Because it can’t be his precious daughter’s fault or even his own.”

“When this gets resolved, and it will, you two can move on.”

Nicole shook her head. “He’s still in love with his late wife. She’s been gone about five years and their house is exactly how she left it. Her stuff is everywhere. It’s like she went to get milk and will be home any second. I wouldn’t expect him to pretend she didn’t exist, but there should have been some changes after all this time.”

“People deal with grief differently.”

Nicole clenched her jaw. “You are the most annoying person on the planet. Stop acting like the middle child.”

“I would be a great middle child.”

“We’re twins. We’re a team. Take my side.”

“Hawk is a big fat poophead.”

Nicole couldn’t help laughing. “Oh, he’s going to run scared now. You’re calling him a poophead.”

“I learned that from Amy.”

The mention of Wyatt’s daughter reminded Nicole of Brittany and her humor faded. “I don’t actually care about any of this,” she admitted. “What kills me is Hawk’s attitude. He can’t or won’t see the truth. I would be willing to accept the problems if he saw them, too. But that’s not his style.”

“You love him. You’re going to have to figure something out.”

“I guess.”

“Nicole, falling in love is a big deal.”

“It’s less of one when the guy in question isn’t interested.”

“Is that what you think?”

“I don’t know. He likes me. He wants me in bed.”

“That’s a start.”

“I’m not sure it’s enough of one.” She sighed. “I married Drew for all the wrong reasons. I knew I was in a rut. I had so much responsibility all the time. I never got a chance to be a kid. Not really. Drew was the opposite of that. He couldn’t take responsibility for anything. I saw a flake and thought he was a free spirit. I saw an inability to commit to anything and thought it was spontaneity. I thought he’d be good for me.”

“And he broke your heart.”

“That’s the problem. He didn’t. When he proposed, I accepted, not because I loved him more than anything, but because I didn’t think anyone else would ask. I didn’t want to die alone.”

Claire had always been the emotionally sensitive one of the sisters and her eyes filled up with tears. “Oh, Nicole. I wish you’d called me and talked to me.”

“I hated you then, remember?”

Claire dismissed that reality with a flick of her fingers. “Still, I would have listened.”

Nicole didn’t bother pointing out she wouldn’t have called. “I knew the marriage was a mistake within the first couple of months, but I was too proud to say anything or do anything. So we stayed together. By the time he slept with Jesse, I was emotionally divorced already. It still hurt, but I was so much more angry at her than him. That says something.”

“I know. So it’s different with Hawk?”

Nicole thought about the sexy, stubborn, difficult, amazing man she’d gotten to know over the past few months.

“More than different. Hawk makes me crazy in the best way possible. I just have to be around him and I can’t catch my breath. He makes me laugh, we talk about stuff. He’s fun and responsible. He cares so much about his kids and yet he has an ego the size of the Titanic. He’s…”

“Perfect.”

“No, but he’s perfect for me.”

Claire clutched her tea. “I’m going to cry again.”

“That’s getting really boring.”

“You try being pregnant. The hormones are a nightmare. Sometimes I feel like a character in a horror movie. My point is, you’ll get through this. The situation with Brittany will be resolved and then you and Hawk can get back to being in love.”

It hurt to think the truth, let alone say it, but Nicole wasn’t going to lie to herself. “He’s not in love. He likes me, but I’m no Serena.”

“Does he want a replacement for her?”

“I don’t think he wants anything romantically. In his mind, he’s had it all. A wife, a kid, a great career. He’s not interested in more children and he’s not looking to get serious.” He was everything she wanted and nothing she could have.

“Maybe he’ll change his mind.”

“Maybe.” Nicole wasn’t holding her breath for the possibility.

“You can’t give up hope.”

Nicole shook her head. “You can’t give up hope. I’m very comfortable with the process.”

“You’re going to walk away?”

“I’m going to see how this plays out. That’s all I can do.”

NICOLE HAD a restless day. She ended up cleaning bathrooms, which only went to show how bad things were. She hated cleaning bathrooms. But it beat wandering from room to room, wondering what was happening with Raoul and Brittany and wishing Hawk would call and say he wasn’t mad at her anymore.

Wanting to hear from him was so pathetic, she told herself. She was a totally self-sufficient, self-actualized woman. She’d been successfully running the family business since she was a teenager. She didn’t need Hawk’s approval. So what if he was blaming her rather than taking responsibility himself? She didn’t care.

Except she did. She cared a lot and she missed him. She also missed Raoul, which was weird. The kid had only been living with her for a month or so. Even Sheila seemed to be moping a little.

Rather than indulge in self-pity, Nicole collected cleaning supplies and attacked Raoul’s bathroom. She made the tub sparkle, the shower doors streak-free, then started tidying up the long counter. There was a half-open box of condoms just behind the cup dispenser. She shook the box.

“Should have used them every time,” she murmured. That would have solved a lot of problems.

Of course condoms weren’t a hundred percent effective. So they might have always used them.

Nicole stared at the box. Condoms failed. She and Hawk used condoms. Except for that last time. Not that she could be pregnant. It was the wrong time of the month. She was sure of it.

Panic was a funny thing. Sometimes it came in big rushes, but sometimes it started so small it was hard to recognize the feeling. Sometimes it was nothing more than a flicker that grew and grew until it filled the room and made it impossible to breathe.

The phone rang.

Nicole jumped then ran to her bedroom.

“Hello?”

“It’s Raoul.”

Relief was instant and sweet. “Where are you? Are you okay? What’s going on? Did you try to get married? Did you consider that using a fake ID invalidates the marriage? When are you coming home?”

There was a slight pause, then he said, “That’s a lot of questions.”

“Answer them in any order. No. Start with telling me if you’re okay.”

“I’m okay. We both are. We’re not married, we didn’t try.” He paused again. “There’s no baby.”

Nicole sank onto her bed. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah. She got her period. Brittany isn’t pregnant.”

Thank God, Nicole thought. “Are you okay with that? Is she?”

“We’re good. She was a little upset at first, but now she’s better. I’m…” He cleared his throat. “I started thinking about what you said before. About something going wrong. Me busting up my knee or something. I got scared. I’m glad there’s no baby. Is that bad?”

“Of course not. You’re still in high school. Why would you want to take on that kind of responsibility?”

“I still want a family.”

A place to belong, she thought, recognizing the longing in his voice.

“I’m your family,” she said. “I miss you. So does Sheila. This is your home, Raoul.”

“Still?”

“You mean because you took off in the night and didn’t give me any warning except a crappy note?”

“I’m sorry about that. I wanted to tell you but Brittany was afraid you’d try to stop us.”

“She’s a smart girl.” Spoiled, but smart. “You’re still welcome to live here. Although we’re going to have a long talk about the rules. There will be some new ones. When are you coming home?”

“Today. Brittany’s on her cell phone with her dad. They seem to be getting along again. She’ll be moving back home.”

That was a relief, Nicole thought. “She’ll be happier there,” is what she said, followed by, “Drive safely.”

“I will.”

“Good.”

“I would have done it,” he said. “I would have taken care of her and the baby.”

“I know.”

“I’m glad I don’t have to right now.”

“Me, too.”

“Thanks, Nicole. You’ve been great. I couldn’t have gotten through this without you.”

She felt all warm and squishy inside. Having Raoul around was like having a better version of Jesse home.

“Hurry back,” she said.

“We will. Bye.”

She hung up. It was a good ending to what could have been a disaster. Brittany moving back with her dad was also a plus. Let Hawk deal with his little princess. She had enough on her plate right now.

She put down the phone and walked into the hallway. On the top shelf of the linen closet was the pregnancy kit Brittany had left. There were still two tests left inside.

Nicole thought about the condoms and how her luck had been running lately, then she carried the box into her bathroom.

Ten minutes later, she stared at the plastic stick.

There was still a baby, she thought, unable to believe the news. It just wasn’t the one everyone thought.

HAWK STOOD by the garage as his daughter drove her car inside. He’d always prided himself on being in control but he’d never had to struggle so hard to keep it all together. Relief battled with anger. He wanted to hold Brittany close to prove to himself that she was all right, then he wanted to lock her in her room for the next hundred and fifty years. She’d scared the hell out of him.

She climbed out of her car and walked toward him. Her expression was wary, as if she wasn’t sure how mad he was going to be. Indecision pulled at her mouth. No doubt she was trying to figure out the best way to play him.

Nicole had been right about him taking the easy way out with Brittany. He hadn’t wanted to hear that truth and he’d taken a lot of his temper out on the messenger, but he’d been unable to escape reality. Somewhere in the past few years, Brittany had turned into a spoiled brat.

“Oh, Daddy, I’m so happy to see you,” she said, rushing toward him. “I missed you, Daddy. I missed you so much.”

So she’d decided to play the loving daughter game. He accepted her hug, patted her back, then led the way into the house. When they were in the kitchen, she walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a can of soda.