Instantly she flashed back to that night when she’d walked in on Drew and Jesse in bed together. They’d been kissing, or about to. Jesse’d been topless. Nicole had-
She reminded herself not to go there. She had to stop torturing herself with the past. She’d put Drew behind her; she had to move on. She should think about something more pleasant.
Immediately images of Hawk filled her brain. The man might make her crazy, but he had a body to die for. She’d never been all that into appearance, but in his case, she was willing to make an exception.
Time for a mental change of subject, Nicole told herself.
She finished with the lettuce and passed the bowl to her sister. “So have you figured out your fall traveling schedule?”
Claire shrugged. “Nearly. Lisa gave me a list of places and I’m narrowing them down. I don’t want to be gone too much. Not just because of missing Wyatt and Amy, but I don’t want to get exhausted for the baby.”
“Are you checking with your doctor?” Nicole asked, trusting the medical profession with Claire’s health a lot more than she trusted Lisa, Claire’s manager.
Claire nodded. “She wants me to keep travel to a minimum during the last couple weeks of my first trimester. Then I’ll travel a lot during the second. Less during the third. Lisa mentioned something about a holiday concert series in Hawaii, but I don’t think I’ll be up for it.”
Nicole reached for an avocado. “Why not? Can’t you take Amy?”
“Oh, sure. We’d have a nice beach house to use, but it’s so far and not really a time when I want to be traveling. You know. Away from family.”
Nicole was about to point out that most of Claire’s family-her fiancé and his daughter-would be with her. Then she got it. Claire didn’t want to be gone from her. She didn’t want to leave Nicole alone for Christmas.
“I’ll be fine,” she said quickly. “You should go.”
“This isn’t about you,” Claire said, but she didn’t sound convincing. “This is our first chance to be together at the holidays since we were six. I’m not going to Hawaii. I don’t want to.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I can’t help that,” Claire told her.
“You worry about me.”
“Sure, but I’ll get over it.”
Nicole tried to smile, but couldn’t quite make her lips move. She appreciated that people cared, but disliked the need for sympathy. Normally she managed her life such that she was the capable one. The one others looked to for guidance. She wasn’t usually the one they pitied.
“Speaking of getting over things,” Claire said casually. “Have you talked to Jesse lately?”
“You know I haven’t.”
“You have to eventually.”
“Why?” If Nicole had her way, she wouldn’t deal with Jesse ever again. “Bad enough she slept with my husband. Then she stole the secret family recipe and sold our famous Keyes Chocolate Cake on the Internet.”
Just thinking about it made her crazy. Drew was one thing, but screwing with the business, too?
“It’s just like her,” Nicole muttered. “I bet you anything that if I talked to her, she’d have a million excuses. She never takes responsibility.”
“You threw her out,” Claire said quietly. “She had to make a living.”
“Exactly. She had to get a job. There are dozens of jobs out there, but did she even try to find one? No. She stole. First Drew, then the cake.” Nicole’s stomach started to hurt. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“It’s not going away until you figure out how to reconcile with her.”
“Maybe I don’t want to have anything to do with her.” Nicole fought anger and hurt. “There was this kid who came into the bakery last week. He stole a bunch of doughnuts, or at least he tried. When I confronted him, he took responsibility for what he’d done. He felt guilty and knew he was wrong. He worked off the amount he’d stolen. He did such a good job that he’s an employee now. Why can’t Jesse be like that? Why can’t she take any responsibility for what she’s done?”
“I know she hurt you.”
“More than hurt,” Nicole muttered. “A lot more than hurt.”
“You two have to figure this out.”
“I know,” Nicole muttered. “I will. Eventually. I think about it but then I get so mad I don’t even want to see her, let alone talk to her.”
“It makes me sad that you’re not getting along,” Claire told her. “You’re family.”
“Not any family I’d want.”
“I don’t believe you.” Claire looked at her. “You have every right to be angry and hurt, but I think it’s time to ask yourself how much of your behavior is about teaching your sister a lesson and how much of it is about getting revenge.”
CHAPTER THREE
NICOLE FELT STUPID and obvious as she leaned on her cane and walked toward the high school football stadium. She was too old to be at a Friday-night game…or too young. She wasn’t a student and she didn’t have a kid in high school. So what exactly was she doing here?
“It’s what I get for talking to my employees,” she grumbled to herself. She should have just waved and kept on walking. But no. She had to stop and talk to Raoul at the end of his first week working for her. She’d asked how things were going, because she was an idiot. And when he’d mentioned the football game tonight, she’d pretended that she was interested.
“You could have said no,” she reminded herself. When Raoul had asked her to come, she could have easily said she was busy. Only she wasn’t and she didn’t lie all that well. In a spiritual sense, that was probably a good thing, but as to how it affected where she would be spending her evening, it sucked.
She looked up at the rows of benches that passed as seats. She didn’t know anyone here. Still, given the choice between the high school kids and the parents, she would pick the parents. At least she had a chance of talking to one of them.
“Nicole!”
She turned toward the field and saw one of the football players running toward her. He was suited up in his gear and it took her a second to recognize Raoul.
“Hi,” she said as she walked toward the railing separating the field from the stands. “Impressive. You look mean and burly.”
Raoul grinned. “Yeah?”
She nodded. He looked different. Older. Dangerous. The urge to tell him not to get hurt welled up inside of her. Apparently maternal instincts didn’t need much to kick in.
“Are you playing a tough team?” she asked.
“They’re okay. We’re gonna kick their butts, though.”
“I look forward to that.”
He grinned. “Thanks for coming tonight. I don’t usually have anyone at the games. Except for my friends, you know. Not an adult.”
That was her. Adult. “I’ll cheer a lot and try to embarrass you,” she teased.
“Good.”
A pretty blond girl in a cheerleader uniform ran up. “Hi,” she said with a big smile. “I’m Brittany.”
The teenager was even more lovely close-up. She looked perfect and popular. Nicole thought about hating her on general principle.
“Nicole,” she said.
“My boss,” Raoul said. “I told you about her. Brittany’s my girlfriend.”
“Nice to meet you,” Nicole said.
“You, too. I hope you enjoy the game. We’re going to have a great year.”
Someone blew a whistle on the field.
“I gotta go,” Raoul said. “I’ll see you after the game.”
He ran off before Nicole could explain that she wouldn’t be staying. Then she reminded herself it wasn’t as if she had a full social calendar. So what if she spent the whole evening there?
“Couldn’t stay away, could you?”
Nicole heard the voice, felt the rush of heat and despised both him for causing it and herself for reacting.
She looked over the railing to where Hawk stood on the grass.
For once he was dressed…khakis, polo shirt in school colors. He looked good. Better than good. Talk about annoying.
“Raoul asked me to come watch him play.”
Hawk looked unconvinced.
“I’m telling the truth,” she insisted. “He says he doesn’t have any adults come watch him. Why is that?”
“He’s in foster care. Has been for a long time. It’s nice that you could take an interest.”
He sounded sincere, which made her feel guilty about complaining about coming.
“It’s no big deal,” she mumbled.
“It is to him. I gotta go. Enjoy the game.”
Hawk ran off. Nicole tried not to stare at his butt as he moved, although it was difficult to ignore any part of him. Weird, because she’d never been that superficial before. She was always far more interested in a guy’s mind.
It was because of where she was in her life, she told herself as she turned back to the bleacher seats and started to climb, using her cane for balance. Under any other circumstances, she would barely be able to remember Hawk’s name.
“He’s damn pretty,” a woman said.
Nicole looked at her.
“The coach. He’s the best part of the game, although my two boys would be humiliated if they heard me say that.” She smiled. “I’m Barbara.”
The woman scooted over to make room.
Nicole sat next to her. “Hi. I’m Nicole.”
“You’re a little young to be a mom,” Barbara said. “You here for Hawk?”
“No,” Nicole said quickly. “I own a bakery. One of the guys on the team works for me. He asked me to come.”
“That’s nice of you. I’m not sure I’d be here if I didn’t have to be. Of course I’ve been sitting on hard seats for years now. My boys are twins and they’re into sports. We’ve done it all. Little League, soccer, football, baseball. My husband travels a lot so it’s up to me to show up at the games.”
“It’s great that you want to see them. I’m sure they appreciate the support.”
Barbara wrinkled her nose. “They never say anything unless I can’t make a game. Then they won’t stop complaining. But I’m used to it by now.”
Family, Nicole thought sadly. That’s what people did for each other in a family.
“So,” Barbara said, her voice low. “How do you know Hawk?”
“I, ah, met him through Raoul.”
“Dating him?”
“No.”
“Tempted?”
“No.”
“Because you’re dating someone amazing?”
“Not really.”
Barbara smiled. “So you’re either into girls or you’re lying.”
Nicole laughed. “How are those my only choices?”
“I don’t believe any woman can be around Hawk and not wonder what it would be like to have her way with him. He’s got that body of his. Plus, he’s actually nice. I know it seems unfair, but there we are. He’s single and he likes to play. Rumor has it he’s a real gentleman out in public and a wild animal in the bedroom. They say he can go for hours.”
Barbara fanned herself. “Not that I have any personal experience. He doesn’t get involved with married women and I wouldn’t cheat. At least I don’t think I would. No one’s ever asked.”
Nicole didn’t know what to say. This definitely fell in the category of too much information.
“He used to play professionally,” Barbara continued.
“I’d heard that.”
“It’s an amazing story. He got his high school girlfriend pregnant. Everyone said they wouldn’t make it, but they got married anyway. They lived on macaroni and cheese while he was in college on a scholarship. Had the baby, were blissfully happy. Then Hawk got drafted into the NFL and started making big money. Instead of living on a golf course somewhere, they bought an average house in a regular neighborhood here, in Seattle. Raised their daughter.”
This was the expanded version of what Raoul had told her, Nicole thought. Although she hadn’t known about a child. Hawk was a father? He seemed too flashy and sexually charged for that.
“Then Serena, that’s the wife, got cancer. It was maybe six or seven years ago. Hawk quit the NFL to stay home with her. She died and he became a single dad. He took the high school coaching job because he wanted to give back. He sure doesn’t need the money.”
Barbara pointed to the pretty blonde Raoul had introduced Nicole to earlier. “That’s his daughter.”
“Brittany?”
Barbara looked at her. “You know her?”
“We met earlier. She’s dating Raoul, my employee.”
“That’s her. She’s absolutely perfect. Good grades, head cheerleader, interested in saving the planet. Loves her dad. I console myself that even if I was single and Hawk was desperately in love with me, Brittany would be a challenge to any relationship. She’s a real daddy’s girl. But who can blame her?”
Nicole studied the teenager urging the crowd to cheer, then turned her attention to Hawk. He paced along the sidelines, a clipboard in his hands.
“So he’s not a jerk,” she murmured.
“Not even close. You still not interested?”
“He’s just someone I know,” she said. “Nothing more.”
Not that she wanted more. He was the kind of trouble she didn’t have time for.
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