“After you moved into my house and no longer had to pay rent, you mean.”
“Don’t do this, Nicole. Don’t be hard.”
What was she supposed to be? Happy?
“If Jesse hadn’t been here…” he began.
“So you’re saying it’s my fault you were tempted and gave in to that temptation. That you have no responsibility for what you did?”
“You’re twisting my words. You always do that.”
She looked at the man she’d married. He was reasonably good-looking, but he didn’t make her heart beat faster. He’d been a mistake-one she would be recovering from for a while.
“You need to take me back,” he told her.
She shook her head. “There’s no way you just said that.”
“It’s true. I love you. No one is going to love you like me.”
He was trying to hurt her. Or maybe just scare her. “People in love don’t cheat.”
“Sure they do.”
“I don’t.” She shook her head. “You can’t make this right. I can’t trust you, Drew, and I don’t want to try.”
His expression hardened. “You’re going to be alone forever. Is that what you want?”
She knew she shouldn’t listen to him. The fact that he was speaking her deepest fears didn’t make them the truth.
“I don’t believe that,” she said with a conviction she didn’t feel. “You’re a loser, Drew. My mistake was hooking up with you in the first place.”
“My mistake was trying to make it work. No one’s surprised I cheated on you, Nicole. You’re not easy to love. You’re closed off and distant and you can be a real bitch, but I’m trying here.”
She felt as if he’d slapped her. Knowing he was trying to hurt her didn’t make the words any less painful.
“Aren’t you magnanimous,” she murmured. “How did I get so lucky? Tell you what, Drew. You stop trying to win me back with your own peculiar brand of charm and I’ll do my best to get over you.”
“You don’t want to get over me. That’s your problem.”
“Get out,” she said as she walked to the door and held it open. “Don’t bother coming back.”
He hesitated, as if he had more to say, then he left. She shut the door behind him and locked it, then told herself she wouldn’t cry.
When she was alone, she crossed to the sofa and sank onto a cushion. She had no idea what Drew’s visit had been about. Did he just want to punish her? Did he actually think they could make their marriage work and that insulting her was the best way to win her back? No one was that stupid.
So why didn’t he want to let her go? Pride? The fact that she was a great meal ticket? She doubted he still loved her. Maybe he never had.
Doubts crowded in on her. She hated how they made her feel. She needed a distraction.
Just then the phone rang. She jumped up and ran into the kitchen.
“Hello?”
“Hi. How’s it going?”
While hearing from Claire wasn’t as exciting as an inappropriate sexual advance from Hawk, it was still better than thinking about Drew.
“Okay. How are you?”
“Still waiting to look pregnant. Do you want to come over for dinner tonight?”
Nicole hesitated. Did she want to spend the evening with her sister and Wyatt, watching them coo over each other as the waves of their love filled the room with more hormones than should be allowed by any state agency?
“Thanks, but I’m going to pass.”
Claire sighed. “You’re spending too much time alone.”
“No, I’m not. I was just at the bakery.”
“Work doesn’t count. Don’t be crabby. I’m worried because I love you. That’s a good thing.”
Nicole didn’t want to remember Drew telling her she wasn’t easy to love, but the words popped into her brain.
“You’ve been dealing with a lot of crap,” Claire said. “Come over and have fun.”
There it was-just like with Maggie. Pity. Nicole hated being pitied.
“You’re sweet to worry,” she said, trying not to clench her teeth. “But I’m great. Better than great. Another time.”
“You need to get out.”
“With a guy, right? You’d stop worrying about me if I showed up with a fabulous guy, wouldn’t you?”
Claire laughed. “Actually, I would.”
That made Nicole smile. “So you don’t actually care about how I feel. This is all about you.”
“Well, maybe. But you’re a part of it.”
“And I appreciate that. Look, I’m fine. I swear. I’ve gotta run. Talk to you later.”
She hung up and grabbed her purse. As she opened the front door and stepped out, the phone was already ringing again. She ignored it, even as she wished she had somewhere to go.
HAWK STACKED the DVDs he’d made of the raw footage from the game. He’d already been over the material and knew the points he wanted to emphasize. Normally he would use the few minutes he had before the guys started arriving to make notes, but on this Sunday, he kept checking his watch and wondering when Nicole was going to show.
He knew he was acting like a kid around her. And even when he wasn’t around her. He couldn’t seem to stop thinking about her. Okay-thinking was a stretch. Fantasizing would be better. He kept picturing her naked and begging. In his fantasy he was always happy to oblige. It was just the kind of man he was.
He didn’t know why she got to him, but he was enjoying the ride. She was funny and sarcastic. She challenged him. She had attitude. He liked attitude in a woman.
He heard footsteps in the hallway outside the meeting room. Light footsteps that didn’t belong to any of his players. His gut clenched in anticipation. Sure enough, Nicole entered the room.
“I have about six boxes of desserts in my car,” she said. “Want to help me carry them?”
“Sure,” he said, wondering if there was time to kiss her before his students started arriving. He moved toward her, stopping when he saw something dark and painful flicker in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“I don’t believe you,” he told her. “Something happened.”
Now that he studied her, he could see it in the slight slump of her shoulders and the paleness of her skin. “Someone hurt you.”
“I’m fine,” she told him, then shrugged. “It’s nothing.”
“I was married for twelve years. ‘Nothing’ in this context is female code for ‘you’re going to have to keep asking to prove you’re seriously interested.’ What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine.”
“I’m not letting this go.” He wouldn’t until he knew who or what had upset her.
She sighed. “I’m…I’m having a little trouble with my ex.”
What kind of trouble? “You’re divorced?”
“I’m in the process. The papers have been filed and the terms agreed to. I’m waiting out the time.”
“You still miss him?” Hawk asked, not wanting to know the answer. What if she said yes?
“Not even a little. He came by yesterday. He wants me back. His way of convincing me is to be insulting and mean.”
Hawk bristled. “Did he hurt you.”
She managed a smile. “Not really.”
“I can beat him up for you.”
Her smile widened. “I’m sure you’d do so with amazing efficiency, but no.”
He really wanted to. “I don’t mind. I’m always looking for new ways to stay in shape.”
“It wouldn’t be much of a workout for you.”
“You think?”
“I’m sure of it. You’re nice to offer, though. Thanks.”
There was more. He could read it in her eyes. The problem with an ex was that person knew the best way to hurt. He or she knew the weak spots, the soft underbelly. Apparently her ex wasn’t afraid to attack there.
He touched her cheek. “He’s wrong.”
“About what?”
“Whatever he said.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yeah, I do.”
Hawk’s expression was kind, his touch comforting and just a little sexy. He was exactly what she needed, Nicole thought.
His gaze dropped from her eyes to her mouth. Her body reacted with tingles and little sighs, and the man wasn’t even kissing her. How did he do that?
Before she could find out, there was the sound of several teenagers in the hallway. She stepped back.
“Reinforcements,” he said lightly. “I’ll get them to bring in the boxes.”
Which meant it could be done in a single trip, leaving her no excuse to stay and, for some reason, she wanted to stay.
“I have your change.” She dug in her jeans pocket and pulled out the money.
“Keep that for next time,” he said. “I’ll be ordering in a week.”
“Okay.”
“You’re going to stay for the meeting, aren’t you?”
“I, ah, sure.” Because the alternative was going home and avoiding her friends who all currently felt sorry for her.
Hawk sent several of the guys out to get the desserts she’d brought. Raoul returned with them and called out a greeting. She moved over to help with the setup.
“Am I freaking you out by being here?” she asked. “Is it too much like your boss being around in your personal life?”
He smiled. “No one says freaking anymore.”
“Sure they do.”
“Because you’re so hip?”
“No one says hip. I know that much.”
The teenager laughed. “It’s fine if you stay.”
“Good. Maybe I can give you a few pointers.”
“Maybe. Coach says women are a mysterious island and a smart man always knows the limits of his abilities.”
It was an interesting mixed metaphor. She didn’t doubt that Hawk had more experience than the average guy and that Raoul would be smart to listen to him.
In a matter of minutes, everyone was settled on folding chairs. Nicole found herself sitting next to Hawk, which made her happy. He was exactly the distraction she needed.
He pushed a remote. The lights went down and a grainy image of the game came on the big screen on the wall.
“You guys got lucky,” he said. “The snap was sloppy. Fundamentals are everything. Wilson, you were two seconds late off the line. Green, you’re supposed to be covering the quarterback. Their guys get through, we don’t score. It’s that simple.”
He dissected every second of the game, offering praise where it was deserved-which didn’t seem that often-and giving constructive criticism. He explained things simply. Even Nicole was able to follow what he was saying…at least for the first ten minutes or so. Then she felt a hand lightly brush her arm.
The unexpected contact nearly made her jump. She managed to stay in her seat and casually glanced down to see him running his fingers across the inside of her wrist. Slowly, gently, without once looking at her.
In theory there was nothing sexual about the contact. It shouldn’t have been meaningful. But there was something about the heat of his skin, the way he brushed his thumb across the inside of her palm, that made her want to squirm. She had to consciously control her breathing. After about ten minutes, she had to tell herself that throwing herself into his arms was completely inappropriate.
They took a break at halftime. The guys dove into the cupcakes and brownies, consuming everything she’d brought in a matter of seconds. Hawk leaned back in his chair.
“You enjoying the game?” he asked.
He sounds so damn casual, she thought, more than a little annoyed. With the lights on, they weren’t touching. He was acting like nothing had happened. Like they were little more than people who’d run into each other at the grocery store. She felt all squishy and swollen inside and desperately hungry for more than a light brush against her arm.
“I’m learning a lot,” she told him, determined not to let him know how he got to her. “I’ve never been into sports. It’s a lot more complicated than I’d realized.”
“Most things are. Want to get something to eat after this? Or head back to your place?”
“You’re very comfortable just going for it, aren’t you?” she asked, keeping her voice low and checking to make sure no one could hear them.
“I know what I want.”
Her? She shifted on the seat, then wished she hadn’t as her insides whimpered.
“Hawk, I…” What? Did she want to say yes?
Scratch that. Of course she wanted to say yes, but there were a thousand reasons why she shouldn’t. Sleeping with Hawk might be a momentary distraction, but she’d never been into easy. Or casual sex. She wasn’t sure reacting to Drew’s scathing comments by jumping into bed with someone else was smart.
“I should go.”
His dark gaze settled on her face. “How long are you going to run from me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Admitting you have a problem is the first step in solving it.”
“How very bumper sticker of you.”
She stood. He grabbed her hand and pulled her close.
“At least admit you’re tempted,” he murmured.
“More than you know.”
“HELLO?” Nicole said Monday afternoon as she answered the phone. She’d just left work and was looking forward to a little lounging time.
“Nicole? It’s Martin Bashear.”
Her lawyer. “Hi, Martin. How’s it going?”
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