fel over me. I opened my mouth to reply. Nothing came

out. I tried to think of what to say, but my mind stayed

blank.

"You can tel me if you do." Austin's eyes didn't make me

believe his words.

"I don't have a boyfriend, Austin. Jesus. Is it any of your

business?"

I'd always been able to turn around his accusations, but he

wasn't having it this time. His blue-eyed gaze pinned me in

place as easily as his hands on my wrists had done more

than once. He shrugged.

"Or is it just another fuck buddy?" He paused, slim golden brows furrowing.

"No," I said coldly. "And watch your mouth. There are kids around."

Austin's gaze traveled up and down my body before

settling on my face. I couldn't tel from his expression what

he thought. I didn't have to guess, though, because he told

me.

me.

"You've changed, Paige. A lot."

"People change."

He leveled me with a steady look. "Yeah. They do."

And with that, he turned on his heel and walked away.

Chapter 24

"Austin!"

Heads turned. He stopped. He waited until I caught up to

him, which was more than I'd expected. Maybe more than

I deserved.

"Why do you care?"

It wasn't the question I meant to ask, but I wasn't realy

sure what I'd meant to ask. I clamped my mouth shut on

other words, softer ones. I bit my tongue until I tasted

blood.

"Why don't you?"

"I care," I said in a low voice, conscious we were

surrounded by a hundred pairs of eyes.

"Paige! Can I go play—"

I cut Tyler off by jamming my hand into my pocket and

puling out a palmful of coins. "Go. You and Jeremy go.

Don't leave this building."

"Wow." Tyler took the coins from my hand and looked

from me to Austin. "Thanks, Paige!"

"You're good to them," Austin said when Tyler had gone.

"That's me. Sister of the year." I led the way out the glass front doors to the concrete outside. I wished for a coat,

though my chil came from deep inside and not even an

Eskimo parka would have helped.

We stared at each other until I looked away.

"What do you want from me?"

There wasn't anything wrong with Austin's question, but it

made my stomach twist and turn. "I don't want anything

from you. That's the point. Isn't it?"

"Jesus, Paige!" The doors opened and a mother holding

two kids by the hand pushed her way through. Austin

stepped aside to let her pass and we waited until she'd

halfway crossed the parking lot before he spoke again.

"Why not? Why the fuck not?"

"I don't know!" Again, not what I thought I meant to say

but once the words came out I had no others.

but once the words came out I had no others.

He stepped closer to me. Taler. Broader. I couldn't

decide if I was intimidated or turned on.

"What wil it take to convince you I'm different?"

"What wil it take to convince you I'm not?"

We weren't shouting, but my throat hurt as much as if I'd

screamed. Austin's face worked. He stepped closer stil.

"What do you want? Do you want me to jump through

hoops? Is that it? Is that what you want?" He studied my

face and must have seen something in it, because al at

once his shoulders slumped. "What kind of man does

that?"

Helplessly, I thought of Eric and the mingled heat of

shame, fury and desire mingled with despair. "Some men

would."

Austin tossed his hands in the air and made a noise that

had a depth of meaning, even without words. This time,

when he walked away, I watched him go and I didn't cal

him back.

him back.

The car ride back to my dad's was quieter, thank God, as

Tyler wound down. We made it home to a message on the

answering machine teling us they'd be home later than

expected. I sent Tyler upstairs to brush his teeth and get

into bed, but I held Jeremy back. It was proof of how

much Tyler was worn out that he barely argued.

"Sit." I pointed at one of the bar stools pushed up against the kitchen island. "Want a soda?"

"I'm not supposed to."

I'd already puled out two from the fridge and pushed one

toward him. "Yeah, yeah, save the innocent act for your

mother."

We both cracked the tops of our cans. From upstairs

came the rush of water and some thudding footsteps, then

some singing. I laughed. Jeremy roled his eyes.

"So," I said after I took a long swig. "What crawled up your ass and died?"

"Nothing."

I understood sulen. "Dad says you've been giving him and

Stela a hard time. And that you even got into trouble at

school. What's up, dude?"

"Did Dad tel you to interrogate me?" Jeremy sneered and

didn't even open his soda.

"Ooh. Mr. Vocabulary."

He scowled and hunched over the island. "Why can't he

just leave me alone?"

"Because he's your dad."

Jeremy had the same color eyes as my dad. As me. Blue

edged with gray. Now they'd gone dark with his anger.

"He's your dad, too!"

Of al the things he could have said, I wasn't expecting

something like that. "Yeah. So?"

He shrugged violently and hunched forward again. I leaned

on the island across from him and waited. Jeremy had

used to be a lot like Tyler, mouth going a mile a minute. I

could wait him out.

"Don't you ever…hate him?"

He'd voiced his question so low I almost missed it, but I

didn't lean closer to hear better. I pushed back, instead,

stunned at the vehemence in his tone. "Hate Dad?"

Jeremy lifted watery eyes to me. "Yeah. Don't you?"

I had absolutely no idea what any of this was about, but I

kept my voice gentle. "Why, Jeremy? Do you?"

He ducked his head again. Twelve was tough. Not a kid

anymore, not a teen. I'd given my mom her first gray hairs

when I was twelve.

"He always tels us family is so important." He spat the last word and I heard the snurfle of snot.

I grabbed a couple tissues from the box on the counter

behind me and passed them over. Jeremy grabbed them

and tucked them against his face, stil bent into the circle of

his arms. I drank some soda while I thought of what to

say.

"Family is important," was al I could come up with.

Jeremy looked at me again, though his tears had to be

embarrassing. "He was married before my mom."

"Yeah. I know. To Gretchen and Steven's mom. But that

was before you were born, guy."

"But not," Jeremy said in a voice laced thick with disgust,

"before you were born."

He'd only just now figured it al out. Wel, I'd known it

younger than twelve and it hadn't made it any easier for me

to know my father had been married to another woman

when he had me. I was three before my dad realy started

making an effort to see me, his first marriage already over.

He was dating Stela by then. I never realy knew him with

anyone else.

"My mom…" Jeremy shuddered and swiped at angry

tears. "She's the reason he got divorced from Gretchen

and Steve's mom. Isn't she?"

"I don't know, Jeremy. I never asked. It's not my business.

And, realy, not yours." I didn't want to come off hard on

him. I understood. But I also knew it wouldn't change

anything for him to be angry over it.

"If family is so important, why did he do that?"

I sighed, at a loss. "I don't know."

Jeremy scrubbed at his face, the tears gone. His bright

eyes were shaped like Stela's though they were my dad's

color, and he looked like her when he frowned that way.

"He cheated on his first wife and had another baby, and

then he did it again!

That's not putting family first. That's not treating them like

they're important!"

Of al my dad's kids I'd thought Gretchen or Steven might

have had the most to bitch about. After al, their lives had

been turned upside down and torn apart by their dad's

infidelity. Mine hadn't been al strawberries and cream, but

it had been al I'd ever known. Jeremy and Tyler had lived

the lives of princes from birth.

"What are you worried about?" I asked him quietly. "That he'l do it again?"

He didn't have to answer with words. I reached across the

island and took my half brother's hand. In my pocket, my

island and took my half brother's hand. In my pocket, my

phone buzzed, but I didn't reach for it.

"Your dad loves you. And he loves your mom. Crazy

like."

Jeremy let me hold his hand but didn't squeeze my fingers

in return. "Did he love your mom, Paige?"

I let go of his hand. "I don't know. That's between them."

"And it doesn't make you mad?"

I shrugged. "It used to, I guess. But what can I do about

it? I'm a grown-up now, kiddo. I have to do my own thing.

At least I know my dad, you know? Some kids never do."

He nodded finaly and wiped at his face again with the

grimy, shredded tissue. "It makes me so mad, though."

"It's okay to be mad. Maybe you should talk to him about

it, though, instead of being bad in school."

Jeremy looked stricken. "He'd tel Mom that I know!"

I didn't point out that it wasn't just our dad who'd done

wrong. Stela had known what she was doing, or at least

I'd always assumed so since she wasn't a woman who

ever did anything by accident. I just patted his hands and

washed my own before I finished my soda.

The sound of the garage door opening had us both on our

feet. Jeremy hopped up the stairs without a word from me,

while I dumped his can in the sink and stashed the can in

the recycling bin. By the time my dad and Stela got in the

house, silence reigned from upstairs and I was flipping

through a back issue of some home-and-garden magazine.

"How did it go?" Stela bustled into the kitchen and stuck

an aluminum swan in the fridge. "You got our message?

The fund-raiser had only the tiniest hors d'oeuvres and we

were starving, and since you were here, wel, we just

decided to treat ourselves to a nice dinner out."

"No problem. I took them to Jungle Java."

Stela raised a brow. "That junky place?"

My dad had come in behind her and let out a long, loud

belch. "What junky place?"

Stela roled her eyes. "Paige took the boys to Jungle

Java."

Java."

"Yeah?" He looked at the clock and yawned. "That place is stil around?"

I got the not-so-subtle hint. "Yeah. They're upstairs, but

I'm not sure if they're asleep."

Stela sighed. "Did they bring home a bunch of junk?"

I grinned unapologeticaly. "Absolutely."

She gave me a second glance, then a smal smile. "I'm

going up to say good-night. Are you leaving, Paige?"

"Yeah." I glanced at my dad, who was rooting around in

the fridge for something.

"Vince! We just ate!"

"I need a drink," he said and came out holding a bottle of designer water.

"Fine. Good night, Paige. Thanks for watching the boys."

"No problem."

My dad and I turned to watch her head up the steps. I

My dad and I turned to watch her head up the steps. I

thought he'd ask me about Jeremy since that was the

whole reason I'd come over in the first place, but he didn't.

He drank his water with a sigh and tossed the empty bottle

in the trash. Then he puled out his walet and handed me a

fifty-dolar bil.

"For watching the kids," he said.

The paper, crisp and sharp edged, rubbed my fingers.

"Dad, I don't need this."

"Jungle Java isn't cheap."

"I wanted to take them."

"Take the money, Paige," my dad said amiably enough.

"I'm sure you can use it."

I straightened my shoulders and folded the bil in half, then

shoved it in my pocket. "You don't have to pay me for

watching the boys. I'm doing al right."

My dad laughed. "I'm sure you are. I'm not paying you for

anything, I'm just being your dad, okay?"

"Wel, then. Thanks." Gratitude stuck in my throat but I