"Do you want something?" Eric asked as I stepped aside

to let a mother pushing a double stroler pass on her quest

for free junk. "T-shirt?"

"No, thanks. I don't listen to that station. And besides, it

"No, thanks. I don't listen to that station. And besides, it

doesn't matter if it's free if I'l never use it."

"Mind if I grab one? You can never have too many T-

shirts."

"Go ahead." I looked at the crowd surrounding the boom

box and estimated how long it would take him to get his

shirt, then down the rows to the line for funnel cakes. "I'l

get in line for the funnel cakes."

We parted and I pushed my way through the crowd. The

prizes might be cheap and the food overpriced, but

nobody seemed to care. Kids carried baloons in ice-

cream-covered fists and couples walked hand in hand. I

got in line behind a couple with matching tattoos on their

wrists, a pair of joined hearts. As I watched them whisper

and giggle, their fingers linked, their eyes for nobody else,

envy roled slowly over in my gut.

Against my skin, lace and satin once again reminded me

how it felt to be wanted. Craved. Obeyed. None of it did

me any good standing here in the setting, early spring sun,

with a ten-dolar bil clutched in my fist and nobody there

to hold my hand.

I looked back through the crowd for Eric but caught only

a glimpse of what might have been the top of his dark,

curly hair. The crowd around the boom box had grown

and the DJ standing on a smal platform with a microphone

in his hand was now announcing some sort of contest. The

line in front of me was moving faster than I'd expected and

I placed my order and walked away with a paper plate of

hot fried dough covered in powdered sugar before the DJ

was even done drawing a winner.

At first look they were just another couple, she in tottery

heels better suited to a pinup-model calendar than a strol

along the river, and him in faded, baggy jeans and a T-shirt

that showed off the muscles in his arms. The reddish

sunlight turned his blond hair auburn, and I blamed that as

the reason that I didn't recognize him at first, but the real

reason was that with another woman on his arm, Austin

had become a stranger.

She, on the other hand, recognized me right away and let

out a squeal that could have cracked a mirror. "Paige!"

Kira. With Austin. My Austin? My teeth clenched,

grinding, in instant reaction, and I couldn't force a smile.

Our eyes met, his and mine, and while I don't know what

Our eyes met, his and mine, and while I don't know what

mine revealed, his showed me he didn't like what he saw.

His expression changed, and I recognized him again.

"Hi." I kept my voice even when I looked at her.

She slid her hand down his bare arm, her fingertips

lingering on the inside of his wrist before diving down to

capture his fingers. Austin didn't pul away, but he didn't

tighten his grip, either. I noticed, and so did she, but Kira

was good at getting what she wanted. She curled her

fingers into his, instead.

"Are you here alone?" Acid didn't drip from her tone. She

sounded genuinely curious.

And who knows, maybe she was. We'd already

established high school was over and our rivalry should

have folowed suit. I'd fucked Jack once upon a time, and

now she was fucking Austin. Tit for tat, literaly. I

should've let it go.

"No. I'm here with a friend." The way I said friend made it clear that's not what I meant.

Oh, I knew the tic of Austin's jaw, the slow narrowing of

his eyes. Kira might be fucking him, but she didn't know

his eyes. Kira might be fucking him, but she didn't know

him. Not the way I did.

She leaned into his arm, and I couldn't get a handle on if

she was being affectionate or cunty, if she was always that

way or if she was trying to work my nerves. I guessed the

latter.

"A boyfriend?" She pushed too hard.

Austin took his hand away to reach for my plate. He

grabbed off a hunk of now-cool funnel cake and ate it.

Powdered sugar coated his lips and he licked each finger

slowly, his gaze never leaving mine.

"Help yourself," I told him. I held the plate out to her.

"Want some?"

Kira wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but there wasn't

realy any way she could've missed Austin's look. She

shook her head. "No. I can't eat that stuff. I'd have to

exercise for a week."

"Paige, you been exercising for a week?" Austin shoved

his hands in his pockets, down deep, and the jeans sunk

lower on his hips to show a strip of tanned bely beneath

lower on his hips to show a strip of tanned bely beneath

his T-shirt.

"No. I'l take my chances." I tore off a piece for myself and bit into the heavy sweetness, then licked sugar from my

fingers, too.

It wasn't nice, what we were doing to her, but it wasn't my

fault she wasn't very good at it. It wasn't my fault he stil

wanted me even after al this time. I looked again for Eric

and spotted him being handed a T-shirt. In a minute he'd

be heading this way. I didn't want to introduce Eric to

Austin.

"Austin and I were going to watch the barge concert. Do

you…do you want to come along?"

I gave her a real look then, my once-upon-a-time best

friend. She didn't try to reach for Austin again, and the

corners of her mouth and eyes drooped. I remembered

how once we'd practiced putting on eyeliner in her

mother's bathroom, and how Kira had been the one to

teach me how to use a tampon when my mother had been

inexplicably too embarrassed. She'd punched a guy in the

nuts for hassling me and lent me her favorite lipstick

without a second thought. She wanted Austin, and I knew

without a second thought. She wanted Austin, and I knew

I should let her have him since I didn't want him anymore.

So, I did.

Chapter 29

"Another time." I spotted Eric closer now, his T-shirt dangling from a front pocket. "I'l catch you guys later."

I left without a backward glance and hurried through the

crowd to get to Eric before he got to me. "Hey."

"Hey." He looked at my half-eaten funnel cake. "Is it good?"

"You can have some." I'd lost my appetite for it.

With a shrug, Eric took a piece and chewed it. "These

always smel better than they taste."

I risked a glance over my shoulder, expecting to see a sea

of strangers. I saw Austin, his face tight, and Kira, staring

up at him. "Yeah. Listen, do you mind if I bug out? I've got

a kiler headache al of a sudden."

Eric's brow furrowed, and he reached to rub the back of

my neck. The gesture, automatic but casual, ought to have

made me feel better, but I wanted to cringe away from his

touch. He gave my neck a gentle squeeze and let go.

"Sure, no problem. I'l walk back with you if you want."

"I don't want to ruin this for you." I didn't look behind us again, just started moving back toward the Manor. I

dumped the funnel cake in the first garbage can I passed.

"Nah. These things are the same as that funnel cake. I'l

walk you back."

I was already walking, but I shot him a glance. "Are you

sure?"

"Paige, realy. Not a problem. Oops, watch it." Eric

reached to steer me away from a puddle of something I

hoped was spiled fruit smoothie and not something

grosser.

His fingers gripped my arm just hard enough to keep me

from stumbling, and my heart thumped harder at the

pressure. Lace and satin pressed my skin beneath my

clothes. He held on a little longer than necessary but let go

sooner than I wanted him to.

In the lobby he checked for mail even though he'd stopped

to peek in the box on the way out. I knew how he felt

when he found nothing but the Tenant Association

when he found nothing but the Tenant Association

newsletter, but he turned to me with a grin anyway.

"Looks like they're planning another barbecue. If it's

anything like last year's the beer wil be warm and the food

cold."

"I wasn't here last year," I reminded as he crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the trash.

"But you'l be here this year, right?" he asked as we both

headed for the elevator. "How's your head, by the way?"

"Oh…I'l be fine. I'm just tired." The lie slipped easily

enough off my tongue, and though Eric gave me a curious

look he didn't press me about it.

When the doors opened on his floor he hesitated before

stepping off, and I wondered if he'd meant to kiss me or

shake my hand. "I'l cal you, okay?"

I nodded and smiled and watched the doors close behind

him before I let the smile slide from my face. My jaw

ached from clenching it. When I got into my apartment I

ran a cold shower and let the icy needles pound my skin

until envy swirled down the drain around my toes.

I blamed the tears on the sting on my scalp as I yanked a

comb through my hair, but when I looked in the mirror I

couldn't avoid my frown. So I turned from the mirror and

puled on a lightweight summer nightgown over my bare,

damp and chily skin.

Jealousy and the funnel cake rested heavy in my stomach,

so I boiled water for tea. The headache I'd made up

became real, though I nipped it quickly with ibuprofen. I

grabbed up the novel I was reading and had just settled on

my sofa when the knock came at the front door.

Expecting Eric, I didn't bother looking through the

peephole. So when I saw Austin framed in the doorway,

al I could do at first was stare. Then I took a step back to

let him in.

His mouth was on mine before either of us said a word.

My book fel to the floor in a flutter of pages, and I kicked

it to the side as Austin stepped me back toward the couch.

I put my hands up between us and pushed him away

before he could get me there.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I swiped the back of

my hand across my lips, smearing the taste of him.

my hand across my lips, smearing the taste of him.

Austin licked his mouth and swalowed, his gaze flicking

around the room. "Is he here?"

"You're lucky he's not. You can't just come in here and

attack me like that."

Austin scraped a hand over the top of his hair, then

cupped the back of his neck briefly, his head bent. He

closed his eyes, brow furrowed. I stepped back when he

opened them.

"He's not here," I said. "But you should go."

He shook his head.

"Austin," I whispered. "You need to go."

Again, he shook his head. Only an arm's span held us

apart, but it might as wel have been a mile. My nightgown

swirled around my knees as I turned. I was very aware of

the pul of cotton on my skin. The lingerie Eric had sent me

had reminded me of how it felt to be desirable, but under

Austin's eyes I didn't need something outside me to know

how it felt for him to want me.

"Paige. Please." His voice snagged, rough and broke.

"Let's stop pretending—"

"I'm not pretending anything." I crossed my arms but kept

my back toward him.

Slow, roling cramps clutched at my bely. When we were

married, Austin had put me to bed with a heating pad

when my cramps were bad. He'd rubbed my back, too,

and gone at night to get me ice cream, no matter how late.

"He's not your boyfriend. Is he? That guy?"

"Is Kira your girlfriend?" I turned on him then.

"Hel, no."

"Are you fucking her?" I advanced a step to poke his

chest, and Austin retreated a step.

"No!"

I laid my hand flat on his chest over the steady thumping of

his heart. I had to tip my head to look at his face. " Did you fuck her?"

He shook his head, just once. I pinched his nipple only half

as hard as I wanted to. He didn't wince, though his tongue