her, Kira's expression had turned stormy.
"You asshole!" She took a couple of steps forward, her
heel catching on a crack in the sidewalk, and stumbled.
Jack.
With an inward sigh, I went after her. Jack was with the
same woman from earlier and he did his best to ignore
same woman from earlier and he did his best to ignore
Kira. I saw him give his date a pained glance she
answered with a shrug, and they started walking.
"Hey, Jack! Jackass! Don't you walk away from me!"
"C'mon, Kira, don't." I didn't blame him for ignoring her. I was a little less pleased he was also actively ignoring me,
even though I knew it was realy for the best, al around.
"He's not worth it!"
"Fuck you, Jack!" Kira couldn't let it go, apparently.
Jack grimaced and puled his cap from his back pocket.
He put it on, but didn't look at her. We hadn't gone more
than another few steps down the sidewalk when Kira
launched herself at his back.
Jack stumbled forward as she slammed into him, her legs
and arms flying. She didn't actualy manage to hit him more
than once or twice, but the spectators leaped out of the
way of her drunken tornado performance. She was
shrieking insults, mostly stupid and incoherent ones.
Jack gave me an angry look that pissed me off. It wasn't
like I'd told Kira he and I had hooked up or anything. Her
issues with him were his own problem and had nothing to
issues with him were his own problem and had nothing to
do with me. He pushed her off him firmly and grabbed her
arm at the same time so she wouldn't fal. She kept trying
to hit him and missing.
"Stop it," Jack told her and gave her arm a little shake
before letting her go. When she flew at him again she
managed to knock his cap off. I stepped forward, wishing
I'd gone with Austin and left Kira to her theatrics alone.
This was a scene I realy didn't want to see.
"I hope your Prince Albert fucking rips out and you have
to piss through three holes!" Kira screamed.
"Kira, c'mon." I reached for her.
Kira alowed herself to be led away, stil shouting insults.
By the time we got to the parking garage the crowd had
thinned and we had a better shot at hailing a cab. I rubbed
my bare arms and shivered, but Kira had anger as her
cloak and she danced back and forth on the nubbly
pavement, waving her hands and muttering curses.
"He's not worth it," I repeated. "Jesus, Kira. What's wrong with you?"
"He's a jackass," she said sulenly. Her makeup had
smeared, her hair tangled. She needed to be in bed.
Fuck. I wanted to be in bed, and not alone. Yet here I
was, instead, babysitting her while she had a tantrum about
some guy she'd had a crush on a milion years ago but had
never even dated.
I didn't correct her, even though I didn't agree. "You're
drunk. Cal Tony. Go home."
She sniffed and crossed her arms. "Oh, you don't care!
You're going to screw Austin. What difference does it
make to you if my heart is broken?"
I laughed and knew I'd made a mistake by the way her
brows puled low over her smeared eyes. "Your heart's
not broken. You didn't even go out with him. He doesn't
even have the Prince Albert anymore."
She glared at me. I thought suddenly she was maybe way
less wasted than I'd thought. "Did you fuck Jack?"
"It was ages ago."
"You fucked Jack?" Kira's fist clenched at her sides, then
"You fucked Jack?" Kira's fist clenched at her sides, then opened as her shoulders slumped. "I thought you were my
friend!"
"Kira, it was years ago, and you weren't—"
"That doesn't matter!" she cried, and I knew she was right.
"You knew how I felt about him! I loved him!"
I'd never loved him. At least there was that. "I'm sorry."
Kira whipped her phone from her purse and stabbed the
buttons with her fingernail. She turned her back to me. I
should've counted myself lucky she didn't try to punch me
in the face the way she'd done Jack. As it was, I was cold
and my stomach had begun to churn.
"Your sorry is shit." Kira spoke into the phone next. "It's me. Come pick me up. Yeah, I know what time it is. I'l be
waiting at Tom's Diner on Second Street. Harrisburg, you
'tard."
She hung up and stalked off down the sidewalk without
looking back.
"Kira!" She flipped me the bird without even pausing.
There was no way I was going to run after her, not in my
There was no way I was going to run after her, not in my
four-inch fuck-me pumps. I managed a hobble, though.
"Kira, c'mon. Wait."
"You're supposed to be my friend," she said, and the quiet affront in her tone was worse than an insult or a punch.
"God, Paige. Just because you can doesn't always mean
you should, you know? This isn't high school anymore."
I stopped trying to folow her. "No shit, realy? And caling
out some dude on the street when he's with another girl,
that's not straight out of high school?"
"That's different!"
"How is it different?"
"You knew how I felt about Jack!" Kira shouted.
We'd have attracted more attention if it wasn't Friday night
just after the bars al closed, but as it was we were just
two more drunk sluts fighting over a guy. In high school I'd
have shouted back at her, maybe even done a little hair
puling.
But as we'd already established, we weren't in high school
But as we'd already established, we weren't in high school
anymore.
I trapped my tongue between my teeth to stop myself from
shouting back, but even then my voice came out clipped
and sharp. "I said I was sorry. You weren't with him. You
never even dated him. And you weren't even speaking to
me at the time."
She faltered for a moment, her lashes batting and her
mouth working as though she meant to say something
realy awful but could only come up with "…Yeah, wel.
You shouldn't have."
I didn't point out the number of boys I'd liked that Kira
had fucked, or tried to fuck, or lied about fucking just to
needle me. I said nothing, just stared, and she at last had
the grace to cut her gaze from mine. She shrugged instead
of speaking.
If you're lucky, the friends you make when you're sixteen
stay with you for the rest of your life. If you're smart, you
know when it's time to let them go. I stopped walking. I
watched her walk toward the diner, where drunk and
hungry people would order eggs and stiff the waitress and
steal the silverware. I let her go there, even though she'd
been drinking and she needed a ride home and I couldn't
be sure the person she'd caled would come to get her.
Yeah. Some friend.
Chapter 04
"I'm realy glad you came," Austin said this as soon as he opened the door.
I said nothing.
He closed it behind me as I moved past him and into his
living room. I recognized the chair and the couch. It had
been mine, once. The chair had been his and he'd been
welcome to it, but I'd paid for that couch.
The couch didn't matter.
"You want something to drink?"
I turned to look at him, this boy grown into a man. "No. I
didn't come here to drink."
Austin smiled. "So, what did you come here for?"
I puled him forward by his belt. Two steps. He didn't
stumble, but he did put his hands on my upper arms. I
must have caught him by surprise. I looked up, up into his
face. But when he bent to kiss me, I turned my head.
"Let me guess," he said into my ear. "You didn't come here for kissing?"
"You can kiss me." I took his hand off my arm and put it
between my legs. "Here."
I looked at him, then, and his expression gratified me
immensely. His fingers curled experimentaly against me
and pushed at the soft cloth of my skirt.
Austin blinked, slowly. His smile didn't fade so much as
leak away. "Paige?"
"We both know what I came here for." I curled my fingers
around his wrist and moved his hand down to the hem of
my skirt, then up again to replace his palm against my
panties. "Let's not pretend anything else."
I thought, for one brief, strange second, he was going to
turn me down. The heat of his hand seeped through my
panties, but the flash of ice in his eyes left me cold.
Suddenly I had no trouble remembering why I'd left him.
He didn't let me pul away. "Fine. I'm not pretending."
"Good."
"Good."
"Good," he said. His fingers slipped inside my panties and found me already wet. Again, his gaze flickered. "Fuck,
Paige."
"Yes, please," I said.
He'd always been bigger than me, but in the years since
we'd broken up he'd gone from a bulky footbal player's
build to the harder, leaner muscled frame of a man who
made his living working with tools. He might have quit the
construction job with his dad's company, but whatever he
was doing kept him in tight, hard shape.
At first I thought he might not kiss me. We'd done it
before, fucked without kissing each other on the mouth.
We'd fucked angry, rough. We'd done it tender-soft, too,
and sweet.
So when Austin puled me closer and brushed his lips
across mine, I was already tense and waiting. He kissed
me softly and puled away. He looked into my eyes.
"I was sure you'd bail on me."
I frowned, not wanting to talk, and when I opened my
mouth he took my words away with another kiss and the
restless stroking of his hands. I'm not ashamed to admit I
stretched under his touch, so familiar no matter how long it
had been. We kissed for a long time, al the way up the
stairs and down the hal to his bedroom. I kissed him with
my eyes closed, trusting him to lead me so I wouldn't
stumble. We kissed the way we always had, but it was
different, too. We stopped just inside his bedroom door
and puled apart, both of us breathing fast and hard. I
couldn't remember how long it had been since anyone had
seen me the way he did.
I was made of feathers when he lifted me, but I became
flesh when he laid me down.
It was a new bed, new sheets. The smel of fabric softener
was the same, and my heart seized, going stil before it
lurched to life again. His mouth ate my gasp. He
swalowed my breath.
I'd worn clothes he could ruin without me caring, but
Austin didn't tear or rip anything from me. Kneeling
between my legs, staring at me on his pilow, he only put
his hand on my bely. The muscles jumped.
his hand on my bely. The muscles jumped.
When he smiled I almost couldn't remember what it had
been like not to love him, but I forced myself to. This was
not going to be anything but what I'd intended it to be. I
spread my legs a little as I inched the skirt up over my
thighs.
Austin put his hands to the hem of my shirt and lifted it to
run his fingers over the swel of my breasts. He looked me
over as if he'd never seen me before, like he hadn't once
spent long hours cataloging every inch of my skin.
I liked the way it felt when he looked at me.
When his gaze met mine, we both smiled, which was a
relief. There had been a moment at first when I thought this
might turn awkward. Either sentimental or angry. We'd
fucked a few times after I left him, and it hadn't always
been a good choice.
It probably wasn't a good choice now, but when he ran his
hands up the insides of my thighs, and a finger underneath
the elastic of my panties, I stopped worrying about it. I
arched into his touch, my eyes closing in anticipation. He
slid a finger along my clit, then another down to press
gently at my opening. That's when he stopped.
gently at my opening. That's when he stopped.
I looked at him. "Austin?"
He opened his pretty mouth, but al that came out was a
hiss of air as he pushed inside me. I groaned as he
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