Jamie Begley - Tainted

As she walked forward, Alec and Kaden rose from their seats. Sawyer started crying again at his haggard look. He looked pale and as if he had lost weight.

When he reached her, he pulled her into his arms, holding her close.

“Woman, you’re never leaving me again.”

The plane landed safely two hours later in Chicago with a car waiting for them at the airport. Kaden hadn’t left her side. When they’d arrived back at the bus, he had barely given the others time to greet her before he was maneuvering her towards the bedroom. As soon as the door closed behind them, he was pulling and tugging her clothes off.

Each bruise and mark he exposed felt the brush of his lips. When he had completely undressed her, he carried her to the shower.

“I wish it was a bath,” he apologized unnecessarily.

“It’s okay.”

He removed his own clothes before stepping into the shower where she leaned her head on his chest as he soaped her body.

“I’ve never felt so frightened, Kaden,” she confessed.

“Me, either. I thought they would make you disappear before we could find you.” He turned her body so that the water washed the soap away.

From the first time she laid eyes on him, she could tell he had suffered at her disappearance. She enjoyed letting him care for her. The exquisite feeling of being safe in his arms was what she had clung to when Digger had been beating her.

“Sawyer, did he…?”

Sawyer shook her head at his delicate question. “He was too scared to go too far with me. He knew King was barely holding back and there was something else preventing him from going overboard with me as well. I don’t know if I could have taken that.” Everyone had a breaking point and Sawyer knew herself well enough to be certain that Digger and his men sexually abusing her would have been hers.

“You’re a survivor, Sawyer; you’ve proven that.”

“At least those women I was with are free now.” Kaden didn’t want to upset her; however, those women were only a few among the many whose lives Digger had destroyed.

“I have to get dressed; the concert is in a few minutes. You’re going to stay on the bus.”

“But I want to stay with you.” Sawyer wasn’t ready to be away from him.

“I’m done playing around with your safety, Sawyer. I’ve hired personal security to watch the bus and you while I perform. I’m not even doing promos. I’ll go in just before the concert and come back right after, but I’m not letting you off the bus. You need some sleep and there’s a doctor waiting to check you out.

“Okay,” Sawyer gave in, seeing his worry. If staying on the bus relieved his anxiety, then she could do that.

They dried off, returning to the bedroom where Kaden helped her into a large robe, tying it securely around her waist. She then sat on the edge of the bed as she watched him get dressed.

“K—Kaden...” Her fingers played with the belt of the robe.

Kaden zipped up his jeans. “We’ll talk after the show, Sawyer,” he said, putting on his shoes and t-shirt as a knock sounded on the door.

“It’s time to go, Kaden, and the doctor is getting impatient.”

“I’m coming.”

Kaden came to stand in front of her. Using the lapels of the robe, he pulled her to her feet. Her head fell back as she stared up at the fire in his eyes. His mouth found hers, reassuring her that he still wanted her while at the same time being gentle enough to show her that he had missed her.

“I’ll be back in a few.” Sawyer smiled as he left and an older woman with graying hair entered, carrying a bag.

“Mr. Cross wants me to check you out.”

Sawyer let the doctor exam her. The tension and adrenalin seemed to rush out of her body with Kaden leaving. She suddenly felt overwhelmingly tired and weak. She answered the doctor’s questions through a blur. Then the doctor helped her lay down, covering her with the blankets. Sawyer felt as if she couldn’t keep her eyes open. She had wanted to be waiting for Kaden when he came back after the concert. It was just another wish that wasn’t going to come true, she thought as she lost her battle for staying awake.

She barely noticed when Kaden slipped into bed with her since she was unable to even open her eyes. After his hands circled her waist, lifting her to lie across his chest, she felt his hands running soothingly through her hair as she dozed back off. It was the first time she had been able to slip into a deep sleep in his arms.

* * *

“I am not staying on this bus one more day, Kaden.” Sawyer crossed her arms over her chest. She had to admit that it would be more effective if she wasn’t holding a spatula, but she didn’t freaking care. Turning back to the stove, she expertly flipped the burgers she was frying.

“You’re not leaving the bus,” Kaden replied stubbornly. Sawyer looked at the other band members for help and saw they each were in agreement with Kaden.

Her voice lowered; however, it was just as firm. “If I have to stay locked up another day, I’ll go crazy.”

Kaden sighed, coming up behind her and wrapping her in his arms. “Sawyer, you scared all of us disappearing like that. None of us ever felt so helpless.”

“I know.” When she had come out of the bedroom the next day, they had all surrounded her, giving her hugs and letting her know they were glad she was back. Sawyer knew it was silly, but she was beginning to feel a part of them.

“We can all keep an eye on her, Kaden.” Sawyer turned in surprise at Sin’s voice. She gave him bright smile.

“She can even stand by the curtain the whole show,” D-mon added.

“I give in, but no one is allowed into the VIP room before or after the concert.” Sawyer expected the others to protest, but they all remained silent in agreement. That was when she knew she wasn’t going to be able to leave these men without a hole in her heart for each one.

“I don’t agree; I think she should stay on the bus. We’re off for three days before we have to head to our next concert. We could take her out for a few hours tomorrow without worrying about trying to manage the crowd.” Ax’s voice dimmed her enthusiasm.

Kaden looked like he was about to change his mind, therefore Sawyer quickly pleaded her case before he could. “Please, Kaden. I’ll be good. I promise I’ll stay next to Alec the whole time. If you remember, I wasn’t kidnapped from the arena, it was the bus.” Sawyer gave him the same smile she had perfected to win her mother when she wanted to do something that her mother didn’t think was safe.

“All right. Sawyer, you can go, but if anything goes wrong...” His expression left no doubt of the repercussions if she misbehaved.

“I will.” Her happiness shone in her expression.

She made each of the burgers for the men their own individual way she knew they liked them in reward. Except for Ax, his was a little burnt and she deliberately forgot he hated cheese.

She was excited about getting off the bus. She couldn’t explain why, though. It basically was switching one confining space for another, yet it was the freedom to move around that she appreciated. The band had recognized that need.

Later that day, as she dressed for the show, she went to the closet to pull out something different to wear, wanting to please Kaden. The four days she had been back, he hadn’t touched her intimately, nor had they had the talk he’d promised. She was becoming increasingly concerned that he had decided to renew his relationship with Tatiana, but she was waiting until the danger with Digger was settled before she brought it up.

Kaden had turned R.J. over to the police for assisting in her kidnapping. She had disliked the man ever since she had first met him, but R.J. was seriously whacked in his obsession to put the band back together. Alec had even investigated Jesse’s crash and discovered that his brakes had been tampered with. Kaden believed that R.J. had caused the accident to force Kaden out of retirement.

She pulled on a pair of expensive jeans that were just as faded as her cheap ones and a t-shirt that was smaller than she usually wore, showing the swell of her breasts. Opening several shoeboxes, she searched for what she was looking for until she found a tiny pair of filigree sandals with flowers weaved across the back. They gave her a couple of inches in height as well as giving her the feeling of being sexy when she walked. Going into the bathroom, she opened the cosmetic case, took one look and closed it, deciding to take one step at a time.

She brushed out her hair, pulling it back at the top and sides to give it some lift. Stepping back, she took a long look at herself before opening the cosmetic case once again and pulling out a candy pink lip gloss.

Tearing open the new lip gloss, she applied a light amount. Her face was still bruised so she applied a light concealer as well. Feeling better that Kaden wouldn’t be accused of abuse, she closed the case and went back into the bedroom. She saw that he was dressed and waiting for her with a worried frown on his forehead.

“It will be fine, Kaden. You worry too much,” Sawyer said, coming to a standstill. “Is something wrong?” Kaden shook his head.

“We have six more concerts to get through then we can disappear.”

“We?” Sawyer broached the tender subject. Kaden stiffened.

“You have other plans?”

“I can’t just disappear without Vida, Kaden. We’ve had plans since we were little girls.” Kaden stood stiffly before going to the door, placing his hand on the knob. “King told me she’s found someone, Kaden, like I found you, but I can’t disappear without telling her first and giving her the option of joining us. I can’t lose her, too. She’s like a sister to me.”

“You plan on her joining us?” His voice was tight.

“Of course, unless you don’t want me anymore. I don’t want to pressure you. I know you and Tatiana talked…”

“Sawyer, Tatiana and I were over years ago when she went to help me clean my mother’s house and tried on one of my sister’s dresses. I threw her out of the house and haven’t talked to her until R.J. pulled his fucked up stunt.”

Sawyer walked across the floor, wrapping her arms around his waist.

A knock on the door sounded. “It’s time, Kaden.” Alec’s timing couldn’t have been worse.

Kaden made no attempt to open the door as his arms tightened around her.

“Let’s go. Everything will be fine. You’ll see. It’ll be boring, everything will go so well.”

She laughed at his dubious expression. “How wild could it be in Indiana?”

Sawyer stood in the shadows as she listened to Kaden’s song. The audience loved him. There were thousands of singers, but unless they had the charisma to pull the audience into the song, then the music could never reach its potential.

Kaden was one of those vocalists who could sing anything and compel the audience into a realm he controlled with his voice, making you feel each song as if he’d written and sung it just for you.

“He’s special, isn’t he?” Sawyer whispered to Alec.

“Yes, he is. Last time, he let his fame control him. Now, he controls it. It’s taken a long time, but this time, I think Kaden can survive this world.”

“You remained friends after you both left rehab?” Sawyer had wondered about his relationship with Kaden.

“Yes. Kaden, Ax and I would spend weekends together, about once every month or two.” Sawyer studied Alec, seeing the lines around the eyes of a man much older.

“Boys’ night out? Fishing? Gambling?” she teased.

“We like to go to a particular club where we have a membership. It’s a private club where we can express our passions with others.” Sawyer’s attention jerked from Kaden to Alec.

“P—p—passions?” she asked tentatively.

“Yes, Sawyer. Passions. I have a particular passion for bondage and dominance.”

“And K—K—Kaden?”

“Kaden’s is dominance and submission, but you already know that, don’t you, Sawyer?” The serious expression on his face reminded her of the time he’d waited outside the shop where Kaden had taken her to buy her paddle. She swallowed hard. She wasn’t going to ask about Ax.

“Ax’s passion is the same as mine.” Her eyes went to Ax playing the guitar. She had thought he was the easiest going of the band members.

Sawyer decided that was where her nosiness ended. It was none of her business what Kaden, Ax and Alec had done in the past. She had known Kaden was dominant; however, the extent he lived the lifestyle was a shock, as were his friends’ involvement. It should be Kaden who decided when and what to tell her, though.