He chuckled. “I’m glad you find it more amusing than she did. The stupid skank left me nearly unconscious in a back alley by myself. Luckily, the guys and Jade came looking for me, and they got me back to my room.”

“Was it bad?” I asked.

“When we were apart?”

I nodded.

“Yeah, it was bad. I don’t really want to talk about it while I’m driving. I want to focus solely on us when we have that conversation, okay?”

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“Don’t ever be sorry for asking me something. I promise that I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, but not while I’m going seventy miles per hour down the interstate.” He took my hand and held it up to his lips to kiss. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

“Glad to hear it. You know, I have to ask, too. Have you been with anyone since me?”

I glanced over at him. He was gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were turning white.

“I haven’t. I went on a few dates, but I wasn’t interested in anyone but you. You’ve ruined me for life.”

He smiled as he eased his grip on the steering wheel. “You have no idea how happy that makes me. Every minute of every day, I wondered about what you were doing. I thought I was going to go nuts from picturing you with other guys.”

I raised an eyebrow. Was he serious right now? I wasn’t the one who was constantly surrounded by people throwing themselves at me.

He must have noticed the look on my face. “Okay, maybe you do know what I’m talking about.”

“Um, yeah, I do.”

We spent the rest of the drive to our first stop in silence as if we were both afraid to say something wrong. It seemed like we were teetering on the tip of an iceberg. With one wrong move, we’d come crashing down into a cold and unforgiving ocean of pain. I didn’t know about him, but I didn’t want to crash and burn. I wanted us to learn to trust again.

It was late evening when we exited the interstate and pulled into a small hotel. It was no Hilton, but it wasn’t a hole-in-the-wall motel either. The lobby was clean and brightly lit with an older man sitting at the reception desk.

“Can I help you?” he asked as we walked up to him.

Drake glanced at me. “Do you want one room or two?”

I’d never even thought about that question. We were supposed to be taking it slow, and while sleeping next to one another wasn’t something major, it also wasn’t slow.

“Why don’t we get a room with two beds? I suggested, happy with the compromise I’d come up with.

“Works for me.” Drake turned back to the man in front of us. “One room, two beds.”

The man tapped on his keyboard for a few seconds before frowning. “I’m sorry, but we are out of double-bed rooms. I do have two rooms with one bed available if you’d like.”

Well, crap. Drake glanced at me and gave me a questioning look. I didn’t know what to do.

“It doesn’t matter to me,” I said.

There—I was off the hook. Drake could decide how we slept.

He shrugged and turned back to the clerk. “We’ll take one of those rooms then.”

I hid a smile. I’d secretly hoped that he would say that.

The clerk took Drake’s credit card. After he charged the room to it, he handed it back with two key cards. “Here you go. You’re on the first floor. Just go down that hallway there, and it’s the third door on the right.”

“Thank you,” I said.

I turned and followed Drake down the hall and into the room. We’d each brought a small bag inside, and we set them on top of the dresser. The room was just like the lobby. It was clean but not flashy. I liked it. I was sure that Drake was used to spending his nights in fancy hotels, but I preferred something simpler, and he knew that. I appreciated that he was staying here for me.

“Why don’t you shower first? I’ll call Jade and let her know we safely made it this far.” He pulled his phone from his jacket.

“Sure.” I pulled a pair of pajamas from my bag and walked to the bathroom.

I took a quick shower and returned to the room to see Drake lying on the bed with his eyes closed. I tiptoed quietly around the room, thinking that he had fallen asleep. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he spoke.

“I’m still awake, you know. You don’t have to go into super-secret-ninja-stealth mode just for me.”

I laughed. “Maybe I like being a ninja.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’ll be sure to get you a ninja outfit when we get back to L.A.”

“Gee, thanks.”

He stood and grabbed a few things out of his bag before walking to the bathroom and shutting the door. I threw the covers down and crawled into bed. I listened to the pipes whine inside the walls as I stared at the ceiling. I was suddenly nervous about sleeping in the same bed as Drake.

You have to take it slow. You have to take it slow. You have to take it slow. I repeated this mantra over and over inside my head. Hopefully, I could convince myself before Drake came back to bed.

I had just convinced myself that I would be good when he opened the bathroom door and stepped back out into the room. He was wearing only his boxers. I couldn’t help myself as my eyes traveled down his body. He had always been fit, but it was obvious that he had been working out in L.A. His body looked incredible, and I suddenly felt inadequate, especially in my pajamas. How the hell was I supposed to measure up to him?

I glanced up at his face and noticed him watching me with a grin.

“See something you like?” he teased.

“You did that,” I gestured to his almost naked appearance, “on purpose.”

He wasn’t playing fair.

“I did. I just wanted to see if I still had the same effect on you.”

“Well, you obviously have your answer. I can’t look away.”

He grinned as he stalked toward me. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

My eyes widened as he crawled across the bed until he was hovering over me.

“Wh-what are you doing?” I asked nervously.

“I don’t know if I can take this slow. I want to kiss you until we don’t know where we are. I want to feel you pressed up against me, skin-to-skin, heart-to-heart.” He leaned down and ran his lips across my nose. I didn’t breathe until he leaned away.

“We can’t. We have too much to sort through still,” I whispered as I stared at his lips.

“One kiss isn’t going to hurt anything.” He leaned down again, stopping just before his lips touched mine. “Just one kiss.”

When his lips met mine, I closed my eyes. Electricity shot through my body, and I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him down on top of me. He ran his tongue along my lips until I opened them to allow him access. He moaned just before he slipped it inside. I shuddered when I felt his tongue ring. This felt amazing. How had I survived without this for so long?

My hands ran along his back, my nails digging into his skin. When my hips lifted to grind against him, he moaned again. I wasn’t in control of my body anymore. He was.

He pulled back, breathing hard. “Damn it. You make me lose control too easily!”

I kept my eyes closed. I knew I’d be a goner if I saw his eyes darkened with lust. There would be nothing in this world that could keep me away from him. When he rolled off of me, I took a chance and peeked over at him. He was staring up at the ceiling, and his chest was rising and falling hard. With only his boxers on, it was apparent that he hadn’t calmed down. I lifted my hand to wrap it around his shaft, but I caught myself at the last second. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. We had to work through everything before we took the next step.

“You okay?” I asked stupidly.

“No, I’m pretty sure I’ll be walking around hard for the next week after that.” He glanced over at me.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“Don’t be. I started it. I couldn’t help myself. It’s been so long since we…well, you know.”

I grinned. “Since what?”

He reached over and began tickling my ribs. “Since we slept in the same bed. There—how’s that for an answer?”

“Very good. I’m impressed,” I teased as I squirmed to get away.

“I’m sure you are. Can I ask you something?”

“I don’t know. Can you?”

He gave me a pointed look. “I’m serious.”

“Sure. Go for it.”

“Can I hold you? I won’t do anything else. I swear. I just want to hold you while we sleep.”

I smiled, touched by his sweetness. “I can live with that.”

I rolled onto my side, facing away from him. He pulled me tight against him and wrapped his arm around me.

“Good night, Chloe. I love you,” he whispered into my ear.

I love you, too, I said in my mind, unable to let myself speak the words just yet.

10

I awoke the next morning with Drake’s arm still holding me tight against him. Unwilling to give up the moment, I closed my eyes and scooted back closer to him. I’d missed this so much. There was nothing in this world like waking up with him beside me.

He shifted in his sleep, trying to pull me tighter against him.

“Chloe…” he mumbled, still asleep.

My heart soared. He was dreaming of me.

“Chloe, don’t leave me. Please. I’ll do better.”

The waves of happiness came crashing down around me. He was dreaming about me leaving him, not about having me back.

He whimpered like a small child and cried out again. “Chloe! I love you! Don’t go. I’ll make it better.”

Unable to let him go on, I rolled over and peppered his face with kisses. “Drake…Drake, wake up.”

He opened his eyes, and then a smile slowly spread across his face. “You’re still here.”

“Of course I am. Where else would I go?”

“I don’t know. I thought you left me again.”

My heart broke as I stared at him. Vulnerability was written across his face. He loved me, and he was terrified to lose me again.

“I love you,” I whispered, deciding to show my vulnerability as well.

He smiled as he leaned forward and kissed me lightly. “It seems like it’s been forever since you said that.”

“It feels like that to me, too. I’ve missed saying it.”

“Well, I’ve missed hearing it.” He grinned.

I reached up and cupped his face. He was beautiful. Even though it wasn’t the manliest term to use, there were no other words to describe him. He tried to be a badass when others were around, but when it was just the two of us, he always let his guard down. Drake was far from innocent, but in this moment, he looked more innocent and vulnerable than I had ever seen him. And the best part was that this man was mine. This beautiful, kind, and loving man was all mine.

During the last few months we were last together, he had been a different person. I had only caught a glimpse of what he was like while he was using, and I hoped that man was dead and buried. The man in bed with me now was my Drake. “Are you ready to have the talk?” I asked.

I was mentally trying to prepare myself for what was to come. This was going to hurt a lot, but it had to be done.

“My uncle already beat you to it. We had the talk when I turned thirteen and realized that girls didn’t have cooties.”

I rolled my eyes. “Smart-ass. You know what I mean.”

He pulled me close and kissed the tip of my nose. “Yes, but can I at least pee first?”

“Knock yourself out.”

I sat up and grabbed the menu off the bedside table. After glancing through it, I called and ordered room service. I was shocked that this place actually had it. When Drake came back into the room, I went into the bathroom to freshen up.

A few minutes later, a knock came on the door. I opened it to see a man standing there with two trays of food on a cart. He walked into our room and left the trays next to the bed. Drake pulled a bill from his wallet and tipped him. When he was gone, we grabbed our trays and settled back into bed.

“Where do you want to start?” Drake asked around a mouthful of food.

“I don’t know. I guess when you started using again. I feel like everything we talked about then is null and void now that I know you were stoned most of the time.”

Drake hung his head in shame. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You walked away from it. You’re better now, and I’m so proud of you for it.” I looked into his sorrow-filled eyes.

“I ruined everything, Chloe, and it was all because I thought you had cheated on me.”