"I'm going to take good care of you, Lissy," he promised, confirming her suspicions. "You just go back to sleep now, and this time try to dream happy dreams," he added, tapping her nose playfully.

She managed to hold her tears until the door closed softly behind him. So intense was her agony, she drew her knees to her chest and clutched them tightly, muffling her sobs in the bedclothes. What had she ever done to deserve this? she wondered bitterly. What should have been the happiest news of her life had been ruined. A baby, Joshua's baby, grew inside of her, a tiny spark of life that was the fruit of the love she bore her husband, a tiny person whom she already loved fiercely. How unfair that her husband loved only the child.


"Miss Felicity? Are you ever gonna wake up? It's almost suppertime."

Candace's voice cut through the fog of sleep, and slowly Felicity returned to consciousness. Disoriented, she could not at first recall why she happened to be sleeping at suppertime or why her eyes were so puffy and swollen. Then it all came back to her in a rush. The baby. And Joshua. She groaned.

"Are you all right?" Candace asked in concern. "Mr. Josh said to let you sleep as long as you want, but I didn't reckon you'd want to miss a meal."

"I'm fine," Felicity assured her, struggling to break free of the lethargy that bound her. So many conflicting thoughts fought for dominance in her brain that for a moment she did not even think to wonder whether Candace knew the news. When she did, she realized that was impossible. If Candace had known, she would have told Felicity herself, and Joshua would not have had to go to Blanche. With new bitterness, she experienced the humiliation of having needed her own husband to tell her she was pregnant.

"Did Joshua tell you that I'm going to have a baby?" Felicity asked, watching Candace's expression carefully.

The black woman's eyes grew large, and for the first time in months she turned her full attention to what Felicity was saying. "A baby?" she repeated. Her eyes seemed to kindle to life. "When? How far along are you?" She moved quickly over to the bed and sat down beside Felicity.

"I… I don't know," Felicity admitted, acknowledging another humiliation. "How can you tell?"

In an instant, Candace became her old self, competent and capable. She asked the necessary questions and determined the answer. "I'd guess it must've happened right away, as soon as you two got married. I expect the baby will be along round about early December. Just in time for Christmas. There's so much to do," she said almost to herself. "Mr. Josh's old cradle will have to be painted, and we can start right away on making some baby clothes. A winter baby will need a fur bunting, too, and a quilt and…"

Felicity listened in amazement as Candace rattled on with her plans. It had been so long since Candace had shown enthusiasm for anything that Felicity was slightly overwhelmed. But Candace's excitement was contagious, and soon Felicity caught it.

This was, after all, her baby, too, her very own child. Fora moment she tried to imagine holding it in her arms, touching it, kissing it, suckling it at her breast. She already loved this nameless, faceless being, and he-or she-would love her in return, with complete devotion, whether or not his father did. Why should she torture herself wishing for something she did not have when she did have something so wonderful? The joy she had felt initially came flooding back as she and Candace made their plans.

If Joshua did not love her, she would always have his child. They would both love the baby, and Joshua was bound to be pleased with her when he saw how she cared for his son. Who knew, he might even come to love her after all.


"Sounds like we have company," Josh remarked, rising from his wingbacked chair to see who had come to visit them.

Felicity glanced up from her sewing and listened intently. After a moment she, too, heard the sound of a wagon in the yard. With a weary sigh, she laid aside her work and began the laborious process of hauling her heavy body out of the elaborately carved rocking chair that Joshua had ordered specially for her. The baby protested the movement with a violent kick to her ribs that left her breathless. Gingerly rubbing her side, Felicity could not help but smile. Little Joshua, as she liked to think of him, was particularly restless today. Perhaps he would soon be making his appearance. The thought both elated and terrified her.

As much as she longed to hold her baby in her arms-and have the ordeal of pregnancy be over-she could hardly stand the thought of childbirth with its unknown terrors. Odd how the endless scorching summer months now seemed to have flown by, bringing all too quickly the day when her child would be born. Felicity shivered, but not from the cold. Even though November would soon be over, the weather was still holding, so they had not yet even needed a fire in the evening.

"It's Blanche," Josh reported from his position by the front window.

"Of course," Felicity replied with amusement. Who else would it be? Blanche had visited her every Sunday afternoon since learning of her pregnancy. Lately, she had begun visiting at least once and sometimes twice during the week, too. Felicity had been grateful for those visits. Blanche's never-failing good cheer had helped her over more than one rough spot. She could never feel sorry for herself very long with Blanche around.

Unfortunately, Felicity had an alarming tendency to feel very sorry for herself, a tendency that came more frequently as her body grew larger. The bulkier she got, the less Joshua smiled at her. Not that he mistreated her or anything. He was still as attentive and thoughtful as ever. More so, if the truth were told.

But he simply did not want her anymore. She knew because they hadn't made love in months.

Now, of course, making love was out of the question. She was too far along. But even back when they had been able to, he had hardly ever touched her. Just as she had suspected, his consuming passion for her died the moment he learned she had conceived.

"Anybody home?" Blanche called from outside.

Josh opened the front door and stood back to allow Felicity to pass before him. "You'd better put your shawl on. It's cool out there," he advised, reaching for it.

Felicity swallowed the bitterness that rose like bile in her throat and turned so he could place the wrap around her shoulders. He was being considerate, she told herself. Yes, he couldn't let anything happen to his child, another voice replied mockingly. Shaking off her tormenting thoughts, Felicity pinned a little smile to her lips and walked slowly out onto the porch to greet her guest.

As usual, Blanche was dressed outrageously. Today she wore emerald-green watered silk. Felicity knew a moment's envy as she noted Blanche's wasp waist above the enormous bustle. Soon, she reminded herself. Very soon.

"What's the matter with you, Joshua?" Blanche demanded as she traipsed regally up the stairs. "Don't you ever feed this girl? Look at her! She looks like a string with a knot tied in it."

"A very large knot," Felicity said, placing both hands on her protruding stomach and forcing a smile.

"Oh, she eats, all right," Josh replied. "Candace says she eats so much it makes her poorly to carry it around."

Felicity glanced up in surprise at the odd tone of his voice. He was smiling, but the smile was as strained as hers. Then she saw Blanche reach out and pat his arm in a comforting gesture. "It won't be much longer now," Blanche said, but she said it to Josh, her voice soft and soothing.

The tears that were always too ready to fall nowadays sprang to her eyes. Her husband hated the way she looked, and her friend sympathized with him. Turning quickly so they would not see her crying, Felicity endeavored to make her voice sound as cheerful as possible. "Let's go inside. It's getting cold out here." She made a little business about blowing her nose once she got in the house.

"You aren't coming down with something, are you?" Blanche asked with concern.

"No, no. It's just the weather. I guess we'll need a fire tonight. Come and sit down. How have you been?" Felicity babbled, leading the way to where the chairs were grouped before the hearth.

"I'm fine, as usual," Blanche replied thoughtfully, studying Felicity intently. "The important question is, how are you?"

"Oh, fine as usual," Felicity mimicked, easing herself down into the rocking chair.

Blanche watched her before taking her own seat on the settee. Joshua, she noticed, stood hovering over Felicity until the girl was comfortably settled. Poor Joshua. If his hair hadn't already been white, this pregnancy would have turned it. He was scared to death, although Blanche doubted he would ever admit such a thing, even to himself. He probably hadn't even admitted how much he loved his wife. Blanche could tell, though. The way his eyes anxiously followed the girl's every move, the way he listened to her speak, even the way he hardly ever smiled anymore, all that and more told Blanche everything she needed to know.

Unfortunately, Felicity did not know, and she did not seem inclined to believe Blanche on the subject even though Blanche had often tried to convince her. Sometimes, like right now, Blanche had the urge to knock their heads together just to see if she could pound some sense into them. She sighed. Maybe after the baby came… "Have you settled on the names yet? You don't have too much more time left," Blanche said, falling easily into her role of entertaining visitor. Head pounding would have to wait.

As the afternoon waned, Felicity felt her mood lighten. Blanche's presence always seemed to have that effect on her. Although she did not like to admit it, she hated being alone with Joshua. His solicitude drove her to distraction, making her feel more like a prized brood mare than a wife.

And sometimes the baby made her feel like a brood mare, too, she admitted with a small smile, shifting to find a more comfortable position in the rocking chair her husband had insisted that she needed. But nothing seemed to appease little Joshua. He squirmed with renewed vigor. Feeling every bit like a turtle on its back, Felicity began the struggle of rising from her chair in hopes of easing her child's cramped position.

Blanche noticed her difficulties but had the grace not to comment on them. Felicity did not even look at Joshua for fear of seeing disgust on his face at her graceless movements. Once on her feet, she placed her hands on the small of her back and stretched to ease the aches that plagued her. The baby went still for a moment, as if grateful for the release her new posture gave him. And then he lurched.

Felicity cried out as she fell to her knees.

"Felicity!"

"Lissy!"

The voices called to her in unison, but she barely heard them.

"Are you all right?"

"What happened?"

Gentle hands grasped her, lifted her, and she was sitting in her rocking chair again. "I fell," she murmured in wonder, examining her reddened palms and noticing the way her knees throbbed from the impact.

"What happened, honey?" Blanche's voice cut into her wonderment. "You were just standing there and…"

"The baby turned over," Felicity reported, checking first Blanche's and then Joshua's expressions to see if they believed her. They did not seem to. "At least, that's what it felt like," she amended, not willing to trust her own judgment just yet. "He was wiggling around, and when I stood up, he just flipped."

"Do you hurt anywhere?" Josh asked. He looked down at her frail figure so overburdened by his child and experienced an overwhelming sense of helplessness. How foolish he had been to think he could protect her. The dangers she faced came from things he had no hope of controlling.

"My knees; I think I skinned them," she admitted reluctantly. She hated drawing further attention to her clumsiness, but her knees really did hurt.

"Well, that's not too bad," Josh said with false heartiness, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. The thought that she might really have injured herself was making him sick to his stomach. "I'll get Candace. She'll know what to do." Eager for some privacy in which to regain control of his emotions, he hurried from the room.

"No, that's not too bad," Felicity echoed bitterly, wondering how he might have reacted if her fall had harmed the child in. some way.

"Felicity," Blanche said, drawing her attention. "Remember that I promised I'd stay with you when the baby came, to help Candace?"

Felicity nodded. There was no doctor, and Candace was the closest thing to a midwife in the area. Blanche would assist her when the time came.