Josh shook his head. "I can't take that chance," he said, rubbing his hands gently up and down her arms. He took another deep breath and let it out on a shuddering sigh. "I love you too much to lose you, Lissy. I can't spend the rest of my life alone, knowing that I killed you."

"No!" she cried in protest, burying her face against his chest. How could this be happening? Joshua, her beloved Joshua, had just said he loved her, the words she had longed to hear for almost a year. Why did she feel as if her heart had been torn from her body? He loved her but he would not make love to her because he loved her too much to lose her. The irony of it made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. The choking sound that struggled out of her throat was a sob.

He held her as she cried, savoring the delicious warmth of her body next to his and knowing that when he let her go this time, he could not hold her again. After a long time her weeping ceased, and still they clung to each other.

"Joshua?" she said, her voice small and muffled against his chest. "I love you, too."

Josh crushed her to him, blinking rapidly so he would not disgrace himself. How could such beautiful words cause so much pain?

Her embrace was as fierce as his. The knowledge that he loved her and that he still wanted her made her strong. "We don't have to be apart anymore," she ventured. "I mean, you can sleep with me even though we can't…"

But Josh shook his head. "It's hard enough keeping my hands off you when you're on the other side of the house, Lissy. I'm not a saint."

Felicity pulled back so she could see his face. "But there must be something, something we don't know about. Candace isn't a doctor. Maybe if I saw a doctor, he could help. He could think of something, I know!"

Josh smiled down at her, a loving but regretful smile. "Maybe," he said, unconvinced but startled by the realization that he should have been the one insisting on finding some other solution. Maybe he really was a saint.

"There are doctors in San Antonio. We can go there, as soon as the weather breaks," she said, feeling better already. "We'll find a way. I know we will!"

Josh did not have the heart to disillusion her. "Sure we will," he said. "Now kiss me good night, Mrs. Logan. Gently," he added when she threw her arms around his neck.

The kiss was long and sweet, bittersweet, and it left them both trembling. When Josh closed the bedroom door behind him, he made straight for the liquor cabinet, hoping something inside it would have the power to quench the fire raging in his blood.

Felicity paced her room far into the night, wrestling with a problem that seemed to have no solution.


* * *

Asa Gordon reined up outside the ranch house and reached up to pull the scarf away from his mouth. Damn this weather, he thought with irritation. Last night he'd had to make camp on the frozen ground. At least the snow had only amounted to flurries. So much for sleeping under the bright Texas stars, he thought with a self-mocking grin.

"Hello, the house!" he called, giving the traditional western greeting. While he waited, he noted with regret the flowerpots on the porch holding the withered remnants of once lush foliage. If it were spring, he could have complimented the lady on her flowers. The way he was feeling right now-cold and tired and hungry-he would be hard-pressed to think of any compliments at all. Maybe he would settle for a comfortable night's sleep and forego any questions on this stop. In his present mood, he did not think he could cope with any more disappointments.

The front door opened slowly and a brightly clad figure stepped out onto the porch. The woman squinted in the bright winter sunlight, trying to recognize him.

"Good afternoon, ma'am," he said, doffing his hat. "My name is Asa Gordon, and I'm ashamed to admit I'm lost."

The woman smiled, a broad, brazen smile that lit up her whole face. "And I'm mighty glad to meet a man willing to admit it," she replied. "You must be half-froze, too. Put your horse in the corral and then come back here. I'll see if I can't scare you up some hot coffee and cold beans."

"I would be eternally grateful to you, ma'am," he replied gallantly, hoping his delight did not show on his face. The woman was spectacular, buxom and beautiful and bold. And a widow, too, or he'd missed his guess. "That is, if you're sure your husband won't mind."

"I'm a widow, Mr, Gordon. I make my own rules," she said, her smile still bright.

"Well then, I'd be glad to accept your hospitality, Mrs____________________"

"Delano. Blanche Delano," she supplied.

Mrs. Blanche Delano did better than cold beans. Asa sat down to a full meal of beef and beans and biscuits. When he had eaten his fill and drunk several cups of strong, hot coffee, he had already begun to plan how to extend his visit here. Widow Delano was simply too good to pass up. Perhaps he'd tell her his sad story and make her ranch his base of operations for a while.

"You mentioned you were lost, Mr. Gordon," she said when he had finished his meal. She was sitting across from him at the dining room table sipping her own cup of coffee. "Where was it you were heading? Maybe we can set you straight again."

"I guess I'm not really lost, not strictly speaking. I don't think you can be lost if you don't really know where you're going," he began with an apologetic grin. Certain he had her full attention, he continued. "You see, I'm looking for someone, my brother-in-law and his daughter, my niece. I've been in Texas for almost a year now trying to locate them, but so far I haven't had any luck."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Blanche said, taking another sip of her coffee. "Don't you have any idea where they settled?"

"That's just it, Mrs. Delano, they never settled anywhere. They kept on the move. My brother-in-law is a photographer, and he has a wagon that he takes from town to town and… Are you all right?" he asked in concern.

Blanche continued to choke on the coffee that had slid down the wrong way and waved away his concern with one hand. "I'm fine," she said when she could speak again. "Tell me more about your brother-in-law. Why are you trying to find him?"

"Well, it's not him I'm trying to find so much as my niece. You see, when my sister Claire married, our father did not approve, so she and Caleb ran away. We haven't heard from them in years, not since the girl was a baby."

"Then, last year, our father had a bad spell with his heart. The doctor warned him that unless he started taking it easy, he might not live much longer. I suppose he started thinking about dying without ever having seen his granddaughter, and he sent me off to find her."

"And you've been looking for a whole year," she marveled. "Don't you ever get discouraged?"

Asa grinned. "Every day for the past few months, especially when the weather's bad. But if you knew my father, you'd understand why I don't want to go back without her."

Blanche nodded, wondering just how formidable old Mr. Gordon would have to be to intimidate this man. Something told her Asa Gordon's tenacity was inspired by something far more noble than fear of his father's wrath. "And what did you say your niece's name is, Mr. Gordon?"

Every one of Asa's instincts piqued at her question. "Felicity. Felicity Storm."


Blanche could not believe her luck. After all these years she had finally found a man whose strength, both mental and physical, made her feel delightfully fragile and feminine. From what he had told her about his family, she gathered that his father was well-to-do, meaning any attraction he felt for her would be due to her considerable charms and not to her prosperous ranch. Finally, he had turned out to be her best friend's uncle. What could be better?

Asa Gordon could not believe his luck. After all these years he had finally met a woman who excited more than just his sexual interest. Blanche Delano was a woman he wanted to spend some time getting to know, both before and after he bedded her. Now any chance of that was shot to hell. But how could he have known she would turn out to be bosom buddies with Felicity Storm? And why hadn't he followed his first impulse and not told her his "story"?

Asa stole a glance at Blanche where she sat next to him in the buggy. She did not look like the kind of woman who approved of lies. Or liars.

"We'd better get a move on or we won't get there before dark," Blanche said, her smile bright with anticipation. She could hardly wait to see Felicity's face when she met Asa. The girl would be so happy to discover that she wasn't really alone in the world, that she had a family, a real family. Since the baby's death, Felicity had been so depressed. This was just the lift she needed.

Asa reluctantly slapped the horses into a faster gait. Getting to the Logan ranch quickly was something he was loath to do. How had he ever let Blanche talk him into going over there this very night? Or let her convince him that she needed to accompany him? The last thing he wanted was to have Blanche present him as the girl's long-lost uncle and then have to contradict the story right in front of the girl and her husband. If Logan was any kind of man at all, he'd run Asa off with a shotgun, and who could blame him? Asa would be lucky if they even let him explain the truth.

Oh well, he thought philosophically, Richard Winthrop had not hired him to bring the girl back, only to find her. Asa had already accomplished that. If Winthrop wanted her so badly, he could come and get her himself. The prospect of Felicity's husband running Richard Winthrop off his property at gunpoint cheered Asa considerably as the Logan ranch buildings appeared in the distance.


"Who could he be?" Felicity wondered aloud as she and Candace peered out the front window at the man accompanying Blanche up the ranch house steps.

"Never saw him before," Candace said. "I'd of remembered a man like that. He looks like he'd be a handful, but then I reckon that's how she likes her men."

Felicity stifled a giggle at Candace's outrageous remark. "And what a strange time to come calling, right at suppertime," she mused. "Unless she has news that just won't wait. Oh, Candace, do you suppose…"

Candace sniffed dismissively. "If she had a man like that courting her, everybody in six counties would know about it by now. Course, judging from the way he took her arm to help her up the steps, I'd say something might be just starting up."

They had no further opportunity for speculation because their visitors had reached the door. Felicity ran to open it.

"Blanche! It's so nice to see you. You're just in time for supper, too," Felicity greeted her, trying not to stare too openly at the man as he stepped into the parlor and closed the door against the outside chill.

"You'll be glad to give me supper when you hear the news I've brought," Blanche said after giving Felicity a hug. "Where's Joshua?"

"He's getting cleaned up. I'll call him. Mr. Logan! We have company!" she called, a little self-conscious that Blanche would see him coming out of his old bedroom. Would her friend wonder at their sleeping arrangements?

But Blanche seemed too excited to notice. In fact, Felicity was afraid Blanche might just burst before she could tell her news. Luckily, Josh came right out at her call.

"You picked a mighty cold night to come all this way fora free meal," Josh teased as he came through the bedroom door, but at the sight of a strange man in his parlor, his smile faded to polite wariness.

"Joshua, Felicity, I'd like you to meet Asa Gordon," Blanche offered, barely suppressing her triumphant smile.

Josh stepped forward and shook hands with the stranger, and Felicity nodded and smiled, completely puzzled by Blanche's mysterious mood. Of course, simply knowing a man like Asa Gordon must be rather exciting, Felicity admitted. He was, as Candace had said, a real handful, big and tall, and he looked as if he'd probably walk right up and spit in the devil's eye, given the opportunity. His face was brown and weathered, but not as weathered as most men's his age. She had the feeling he had not lived an outdoor life. When she heard his accent, she realized she had judged correctly. He was an easterner.

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Logan, ma'am," Asa said, nodding to both of them. He'd been right. Logan was definitely the shotgun type. He'd better watch his step. "You'll have to pardon us for dropping in right at mealtime like this-"

"It's all my fault," Blanche interrupted. "I couldn't wait another minute to tell you. Felicity, Mr. Gordon is… oh, you'll never guess! He's your uncle!"