That evening, as usual, Felicity went to her grandfather's room to say good night. When at last she came into her own room, Josh could tell instantly that her mood had not improved one bit. She was still very upset over his ultimatum, as he had expected she would be. He only hoped her anger would work in his favor.

"Did you tell your grandfather that we're leaving?" he asked in a carefully neutral voice.

Felicity hesitated, trying to get control of her temper and her tongue before responding so she would not complicate the issue. "No," she said, with equal care. "I was hoping I could talk some sense into you first."

She watched in surprise as his handsome face reflected a trace of relief. "You don't have to," he said. "I've changed my mind about your leaving."

"You've changed your mind?" she repeated incredulously. At his nod, she allowed the straining joy in her to break free. "Oh, Joshua!" she cried, rushing to him and enfolding him in a grateful embrace. "I'm so glad! I know this visit hasn't been much fun for you, but I'll make it up to you. From now on we'll do things you like and-"

"Whoa," he said, forcing what he hoped was a good-natured smile, although it felt somewhat strained. "I didn't say I was going to stay. I said you could. I still have to get back to the ranch, but there's no reason you can't stay as long as you want."

Felicity saw the strain in his smile, and she could feel the tension radiating through his body. Something was wrong. She let her arms drop to her sides and stepped away from him warily, studying his face to discover what he was thinking. "I don't want to stay here without you," she said, frowning. "I'll be so lonely…"

"Will you?" he asked, lifting his eyebrows skeptically. As long as Winthrop was around, he doubted Felicity would ever be lonely.

Felicity knew instantly what he was thinking. He always got that faintly contemptuous look on his face when Richard was around. "I'll be lonely for you," she said, letting him see the truth of that statement in her earnest expression. "No one could take your place."

For one second some strange emotion flickered in his gray eyes, but he quickly controlled it. "I'm glad to hear that," he said, not sounding very glad at all.

Was that what he was thinking, that she had feelings for Richard? How could he believe such a thing? Richard was entertaining and charming and a master of all the social skills, but he wasn't Joshua. And he never could be.

"Well, it's settled, then," Josh said, turning away. "I'll go back to Texas, and you can stay here as long as you like." With apparent nonchalance, he began to undress.

Felicity watched his economical movements as he methodically removed his clothing. Something was still wrong, very wrong. He wasn't telling her everything. Earlier in the day he had insisted she return with him, but now…

Now he seemed determined to leave her here in Richard's tender care. The thought jolted her.

Joshua disliked Richard, and more than once Felicity had suspected jealousy colored that dislike. Earlier she had been convinced Joshua wanted to take her home to get her away from her cousin and all the temptations Philadelphia offered. She had suspected Joshua's old fears were influencing him, making him concerned that she might decide to leave him for her family the way his mother had done to his father. But that argument no longer made any sense.

Now Joshua was determined to leave her here. Although her mind clamored for the reason, her instinct warned her away from it. If he still loved her, if he still wanted her, he would never return to Texas without her, especially not if that meant leaving her with Richard. Testing her theory, she said, "I don't want to stay if that makes you unhappy. I'll just explain to Grandfather that we have to leave and-"

"No!" Josh said, too quickly, but he covered his mistake with a placating smile. "Don't be silly. I know how much you want to spend some time with your grandfather. There's nothing for you to do at the ranch, anyway. It gets pretty lonely for you at roundup time. You might as well stay here and enjoy yourself."

His words sent a shiver of apprehension over her. There was nothing for her in Texas, he had said. What did he mean? Was he giving her some hidden message? If so, she did not want to understand it. "How soon do you plan to leave?" she asked, fearing his answer.

Josh thought briefly of the events mentioned in Blanche's letter. Over a week had passed since she had written it. How much more might have happened in that time? "I thought I'd catch a train tomorrow. There's no sense waiting around," he said, feigning unconcern as he moved over to turn down the bedclothes.

The weight of his words seemed to crush her heart. He was leaving tomorrow. He could not wait to get away. She watched every movement of his powerful body with hungry eyes. Clad only in the underdrawers that hid little of his masculine physique, he made a beautiful picture. A picture she would not see again after tomorrow.

Not again, never again. She knew it with an awful certainty. He was leaving her. Sometime between their argument this afternoon and now, he had finally decided that she simply wasn't worth the trouble anymore. She couldn't give him the children he wanted, and she couldn't even comfort his bed. He could conveniently leave his useless wife with her family and claim that she had preferred them to him.

Blinded by pain and fury, she moved mechanically over to the large wardrobe that held her clothes. Opening the door, she used it as a screen to conceal herself from him as she undressed and slipped into her nightdress. Although her eyes burned, no tears came. Grateful for this small mercy, she reached up and shut off the gaslight, being careful to keep her back to him so he could not see her misery.

In the darkness, she groped her way to the bed and lay down stiffly beside him, horribly aware that this might very well be the last time they shared a bed, the last time they were ever alone together. She could feel the warmth of his body radiating toward her, and although she realized the irony of the desire, she longed for the comfort she knew his arms could give.

Josh sensed her confusion and thought he understood it. She was wondering why he had changed his mind about taking her with him. Probably she had even perceived his eagerness to leave her behind and been hurt by it. He tried telling himself that he should have been glad she wanted to stay with him, but somehow the thought only made lying here beside her without touching her all the more difficult.

Although he had tried not to watch her undress and although she had been careful to shield herself, he had caught an occasional glimpse of the white skin he knew would feel like warm satin under his hands. Her sweet, feminine fragrance teased at him as he tried drawing a steadying breath. The bedclothes whispered tantalizing secrets as she shifted to a more comfortable position.

This was the last time he would be with her for weeks, perhaps months. How long until he would see her lovely face again, hear the music of her voice, or taste the honey of her kiss? How long until she would belong completely to him again? And what if Ortega and Jeremiah made good their threats? What if Josh was careless just once and a lucky bullet found its mark? He might never be able to summon her home.

Felicity shifted restlessly, aching for his touch but too proud to seek it. If he was determined to rid himself of her, if he was too much of a hypocrite to even tell her to her face that their marriage was over, she would die before she would display any weakness before him.

But what if she was wrong? What if he really was only thinking of her happiness? What if he was being noble and unselfish?

Felicity considered this for a moment and rejected it. If Joshua did want her, he would drag her back to Texas by the hair if she refused to go any other way. She was certain of that, but still something compelled her to ask, "Will you miss me?"

Josh heard the anguish in her voice, an anguish he shared. "God, yes," he answered, his voice ragged as he considered another possibility, a possibility even more horrible to contemplate than his own death. Suppose while she was here, alone and unprotected, Winthrop and Maxwell turned her against him?

Felicity's nerves quivered at the throbbing intensity of his reply. He would miss her! Perhaps she had misjudged him. Perhaps he was more noble than she thought. But even the most unselfish man alive could easily forget a wife who was little more than a companion to him. He had loved her once.

Could she awaken that love again?

Fury stirred in Josh as he pictured Winthrop with Felicity, charming her, seducing her. Josh wouldn't allow that. Couldn't allow that. She was his wife. She belonged to him.

"Joshua?"

"Ussy?"

They spoke in unison, their voices raw with suppressed need. In the next instant they came together, lips and hands frantically searching out remembered delights. Softness pressed sinew, satin stroked velvet, and needs became compulsion.

Josh knew he should not take her. He told himself that he would stop in just another moment, just another moment of the luxury of his flesh pressed to hers, of her mouth opened beneath his, of her arms clinging to his strength. But there was no way to stop, not when her hands found those secret places and stroked him into madness.

Felicity urged him on, taking his weight eagerly. How could this be wrong when it was so wonderful? Her blood sang in her veins, siren songs that promised a sweet destruction she was powerless to resist. "Love me, Joshua," she begged, desiring far more than just the physical act, but willing to settle for the blessed contentment that surged in her as he filled her.

But no sooner did she feel that surge than she heard his broken cry and felt the gentle pulsing of his release. His body went limp on hers for just a moment before he slid away, freeing her from his weight.

Still quivering from her unfulfilled desire, she did not at first realize what he was doing as he kicked free of the constraint of the underwear tangled around his legs. And then his hands were on her again, struggling with the nightdress that was bunched around her shoulders.

"Take this off," he commanded. His voice was almost grim, his hands rough.

"Why?" she asked stupidly.

And then she sensed a change in him. At her question, his touch gentled, and she could hear a teasing smile in his voice when he said, "You didn't think it was over, did you? You haven't finished… and neither have I."

With hands that fumbled, she helped him strip the nightdress from her body. This time they came together with no restraints, either physical or emotional.

Felicity strained against him feverishly as his desperation fed hers. Giving became receiving, and pleasure blossomed into a tangible force that pushed her over the brink into the deep, dark pool of ecstasy.

Josh cradled her through the aftershocks, holding himself back because they still weren't finished. Now that it was already too late, now that he had nothing more to fear from loving her, he was going to give her a memory to hold her through the lonely weeks and months ahead. A memory to seal her heart against the threat of any other man.

"Joshua, what are you…" she asked faintly when she felt his hands teasing her again.

"Shhhh," he whispered into her hair. "Don't ask stupid questions."

"But I don't think I can," she protested weakly.

But she could. And she did.


"Logan's gone," Henry Maxwell reported with satisfaction.

"Gone?" Richard repeated incredulously as he approached his uncle's bed. "What do you mean, gone?"

"I mean, he went back to Texas, just like that. He left this morning. He's probably in Baltimore by now," Henry explained.

"But why? Why would he simply leave without Felicity?" Richard asked. "He did leave without her, didn't he?" he added in sudden alarm.

Henry nodded triumphantly. "I'm not exactly sure why, though. He came to see me this morning before he left. He said there was some trouble at his ranch. He didn't say what it was, and I don't know why he told me unless he wanted me to know he wouldn't leave Felicity except for something very important, but in any case, he doesn't want her to know anything about it," Henry explained, frowning over the memory of Josh's adamance on the matter. "That suits my purpose, though."

Richard gave his uncle a considering look. "And what, exactly, is your purpose?"

Henry chuckled conspiratorially. "The same as yours, boy," he said. "I want Felicity to stay here… with us." He chuckled again at Richard's flabbergasted expression.